


Meet Your Storm

by RedScribbler



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Mild Descriptions of Injury, Mild Language, Size Difference, Slow Build, merman au, relationship building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-02-20 01:25:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 105,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2409956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedScribbler/pseuds/RedScribbler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Merman.... </em>
</p><p>The word came unbidden to Haruka, a by-product of his upbringing by his superstitious Grandmother. She had always encouraged his imagination with stories of shrine spirits, ocean gods and keeping the Amefurikozo happy.</p><p>As wise as she had been, Haruka was sure even she could not have been prepared for something like this.<br/>~~~<br/>Yet Another Merman!AU, inspired by fan interpretations of Makoto as an actual-size orca.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Intially inspired by hubedihubbe's Big Orca Makoto pictures (http://hubedihubbe.tumblr.com/tagged/big-orca-makoto), this spiraled out of control quickly but I hope fandom is willing to tolerate yet more merman au.
> 
> (Also although it has been tagged as makoharu there wouldn't be any romance just yet, we're in this for the long haul kids.)
> 
> Title from "Harbour" by Vienna Teng.

Haruka Nanase was having a bad day.

He always had a bad day after an unexpected storm crashed against the shores of sleepy Iwatobi.  


Storms made people uncomfortable, and made his neighbours bother him with unnecessary questions. It had taken him nearly twenty minutes to escape Mrs. Tamura's interrogation, insisting every few moments that yes, he had remembered to lock the door shutters and no, he didn't go stand in the back garden like he did when it rained last week. 

Living by himself at the age of seventeen, Haruka felt, didn't give the neighbourhood the right to butt into his business even if the Yamamoto's had seen him in nothing but his swimsuit again. 

Her misplaced concern had made him late for work and he recieved his second lecture of the day from his erstwhile employer, Mr. Sasabe. 

Well into his forties, with a cheeky grin and haircut that was at least a decade too young for him, Goro launched into his regular spiel about hard work, dedication, and “I know you're only a part-timer, Haruka-kun, but at least pretend to care sometimes y'know?” 

Haruka gave him a blank look from across the desk. He wasn't the type to pretend anything he didn't really feel and they both knew it. 

Goro dismissed the matter with a wave of his hand. It wasn't the first time Haruka had been late and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

“In any case, you're on your own today. Most of the guys were working to dry-dock the boat last night. Fat lot of good that did, the hull still took a beating... You only have to look at her and she starts leaking!” He wailed.

Haruka graciously refrained from pointing out that the old squid boat had probably been doing that before any storm had gone near it. 

The _Big Catch Sasa_ was Goro's pride and joy. It has also been his father's pride and joy and his grandfather's pride and joy. She could barely stay afloat on the best of days, but Goro refused to listen to anyone who tried to tell him that that was the reason he was losing profits. He would blame every summer storm, all of his competitors and even the fish for not producing enough before he would even consider that the fault might lie with his precious boat.

And that was where Haruka came in. On paper, he worked an eight hour week doing running errands from Goro's small fishing business on both land and sea. In practice, Haruka did all the dirty work that his boss's cost-cutting measures required. 

Including after every storm that battered the Iwatobi coastline, when he was sent out to scout the beaches for reusable nets, lost lobsters cages and any other fishing parphernalia he could swipe before whomever it really belonged to came looking for it.

Haruka suspected that most of what he did was probably not above board but Sasabe literally wasn't paying him enough to care. 

His meager wage paid for nothing but gym membership where he could swim to his heart's content regardless of the season, while his absentee parents covered the utility bills of the house they had left behind, and occasionally called to nag him about his water usage. 

It was not a fulfilling job or even a particularly safe one but Haruka knew that with his blunt personality and lack of 'transferable skills', he was lucky to have a job at all.

At least when it came to time-keeping, Sasabe was as lax as him as long as he got his work done.

Which was how Haruka Nanase found himself trawling the scraggy, stony inlets of Iwatobi at an unreasonable hour of the morning, tired and cranky.

Iwatobi had three white sandy beaches that featured on every postcard and holiday pamphlet and, if the local tourism board were to have their way, they would be Iwatobi's only beaches.

In reality, the coastline was dotted with smaller, far less picturesque swathes of land. They were covered with sharp rocks and discarded rubbish. The lay of them was uneven and rough. They were awful to look at and worse to walk on. They were hidden from tourists and avoided by locals, barren spaces that did not accommodate for human interference.  
Naturally, these were where Haruka was required to go, three days per week, every week.

He hated them most of all on days after storms. This was when the things he had to collect were strewn every which way and he was forced to shift stones, climb boulders, explore every little inlet and dig through the dirt for his pay.

Most of the time, the clutter had been smashed to pieces by the wild weather and Sasabe didn't pay for goods he couldn't use. 

After finding his seventh broken fishing rod four hours into his shift, Haruka decided it was high time to give up. 

His current haul consisted of three small-ish nets, two large metal buckets and an eel trap that was a bit of a fixer-upper but still usable. He knew that given the harsh storm last night, it was as good as he was going to get.

Just one more inlet to trawl and he would be hiking back to base, where Sasabe would hopefully be brewing tea and not asking him to fix the eel trap.

Thoughts of a warm drink and being indoors for the rest of the day consumed his mind as he threw down his haul and his tool kit to scramble over the boulders that separated this tiny beach from the rest of the world.

The kit contained basic supplies like a first-aid kit, and a handful of simple tools. With it's bulky size and shape it wasn't exactly conductive to beach trawling but Sasabe insisted that he bring it with him every time. 

_What a pain._

Haruka was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice until he was almost on solid earth again.

But just before he put his feet on the ground, Haruka looked up and saw it.

Tangled in an enormous tuna net, laying on its side and staining the stones red was an orca. 

Its huge body had been ripped and bloodied by the hundreds of tiny hooks sown into the net and the coarse rope cut further into it. It was completely trapped, not to mentioned beached several feet from the shore. 

Later Haruka would be angry at himself for freezing where he stood, one foot hovering over the ground.

For now, he only panicked. 

How on earth had such a huge creature washed up here? Why had it been so close to shore in the first place? Had it been the storm? Had it sought shelter only to be caught by a stray net? Should he run back for help? Would the beast even last that long?

His jumbled thoughts were interrupted by a low moan and he could only stare at the creature's back as it shifted on the rough sand in an attempt to free itself. 

When it did so, Haruka knew it was probably better that he had not run for help straight away. 

It stretched slowly but the rope was too tight for it to do much other than curl in on itself and straighten out again.

Where its head should have been the creature's body morphed into a man's torso and further up than that were two arms constrained to its sides and a very human-looking face. 

_Merman...._

The word came unbidden to Haruka, a by-product of his upbringing by his superstitious Grandmother. She had always encouraged his imagination with stories of shrine spirits, ocean gods and keeping the Amefurikozo happy.

As wise as she had been, Haruka was sure even she could not have been prepared for something like this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Haruka and Makoto meet under less than ideal circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw, while I will try to be good with updates, college is a huge monkey on a back right now so they will be pretty sporadic.

Haruka often misses his Grandmother.

She looked after him as his parents spent time at work or away from home. He likes to think his own reserved attitude is a result of being raised by a member of an older generation. 

She had often sat him down and told him stories _her_ Grandmother had told her; family history, old wive's tales and local legends.

None of her folklore covered this particular scenario however.

The merman (A small rational part of Haruka's brain was rejecting the idea as loudly as possible) looked to be young, with salt-soaked brown hair and eyes the colour of new grass. 

It was also enormous. After the blaring obvious fact that it was not human, the thing that most stuck out about it was its sheer size.

It was, like the black and white markings on his tail suggested, as big as an orca. With its long torso it almost seemed double that. Haruka could easily sit in the palm of one of its hands. It was a small wonder it even fit on the tiny beach at all. 

The third thing Haruka's addled brain noticed, after the creature's species and size, was how much pain it was in.

He had seen the hooks just a moment before of course, and the speckles of blood on the sand, but it was one thing to confront an injured animal and a whole other to see anguish scrawled across a human face. 

Haruka's first instinct was to help. The merman obviously couldn't free itself and would probably suffocate if it spent too long out of the water.

But years of living alone had instilled a form of self-preservation in the young man, and a small part of his mind spewed out rational, if unsympathetic, arguments.

Just because the creature looked human didn't mean it would think or react like one. If it really was more akin to the sea mammal it resembled then it would probably kill Haruka as soon as it was free.

Another scenario sprang to mind. The creature could be perfectly capable of human reasoning and decide to get rid of Haruka anyway for fears of being exposed.

He took another glance at the merman's hands and couldn't surpress a shudder. They could crush him without effort.

The merman shifted again suddenly and let out a whine as the fish hooks dug further into its flesh. Haruka looked to its face again and saw that those grass-green eyes unfocused and too-bright.

And he made up his mind.

Haruka was always more inclined to follow his instincts anyway.

He stepped down from the rocks deliberately, making sound to draw attention to himself. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the merman freeze.

He looked up to that face again, now frozen with fear.

“I won't hurt you,” He enunciated clearly and slowly.

The creature didn't so much as blink.

“I won't hurt you,” He repeated, slowly taking the only thing he had out of his pocket.

The Swiss Army knife was not a part of Sasabe's tool kit but rather a gift received from a misguided if well-meaning uncle from his last birthday, who was under the impression that Haruka's job made him some kind of outdoorsman.

He was immensely grateful for it now.

He flicked the small knife out from its casing and the creature flinched violently, a dozen more tiny cuts appearing on its skin.

Haruka held up his free hand to show it was empty. The last thing either of them needed now was for the merman to panic.

He shuffled inch by inch across the inlet, hardly daring to breathe as he got closer to the creature.

“It's alright,” Haruka spoke softly and evenly like he did with the stray cats in his neighbourhood, “I'm going to cut the net open, that's all. Do you understand? It's alright....”

Haruka moved up to the merman's head where the rope was binding its head and leaving marks on its skin.

The merman had followed his every move with wide eyes but as Haruka raised the little blade he saw some of the light fade from them and the great creature let them drift shut.

Haruka silent lifted a rope lashed across one large cheek, it was worn but with signs of having been repaired several times. Haruka realised with a wince that it had come from the _Big Catch Sasa_ and his resolve cemented. He began sawing at it. 

The merman's eyes shot back open at the sound, flickering from the knife to Haruka's face and back again.

Haruka didn't look it in the eye again but focused on his work.

He kept speaking softly, almost nonsensically, hoping it would stay calm.

“That's right, it's fine, you'll be free soon... Free to swim as much as you like... Lucky you.”

After a few minutes hacking away at the net, the merman's head and shoulders were untangled. 

The creature shook its head and tried to shuffle the rest of its body loose but froze as Haruka laid a hand on one its trapped arms. 

It stretched its neck to watch him where he was crouched cutting at the netting binding its torso. 

The rope was thicker here, inlaid with stronger fibres and weaved together tightly. And Haruka was the one who had done the weaving, balefully glaring at anyone who had come to ask him how he was doing when Sasabe had asked him to patch the net up three weeks ago.

But Haruka knew that if he could put it together, he could very easily take it apart again.

It only took a few more minutes for him to free one of the merman's arms, pulling the small hooks from its flesh as delicately as he could.

A small exhale came from above him and Haruka looked over to see the merman staring at its own arm now lying free on the ground. 

They locked eyes for an instant, blue onto green. 

And then Haruka was sent flying as the merman took a swipe at him and knocked him across the beach. 

He was lucky to avoid colliding with the rock pile he had clambered over earlier but a blow to the back of his head from wet packed sand was still enough to make it spin and his vision took a long moment to clear.

As he rubbed his crown and checked for a bleed, he saw that the merman was ripping the net off of its body as quickly as it could, heedless of the hooks ripping away strips of skin as it did. 

He staggered to his feet, hoping to at least make his way back to creature and figure out the rest from there. 

There was no guarantee it wouldn't attack him again but the blow seemed to have knocked all that self-preservation out his head and all Haruka could focus on was the fact that the merman was doing itself more harm than good with its thrashing.

It had now wrenched both of its arms free and was trying to rip the rest of the net off its tail.

When it saw Haruka stand however, panic flashed across its features and it dropped the tatters of the net, flopped onto its stomach and began to haul itself towards open water. 

Haruka's head was still swimming and what happened next seem to him to be in slow motion.

The tattered net caught on jagged rocks sprouting out of the ground and a larger hook nestled itself onto the base of the merman's fin. 

If he had had the wherewithal at that moment, Haruka would have called a warning but with his fugue-addled brain it would have come too late. 

The merman heaved its body towards the sea causing the large hook to dig viciously into its dorsal fin cutting it deeply and wrenching a chunk of solid flesh from the merman's tail. 

The creature bellowed, letting out of cry of agony so loud Haruka was worried someone else would hear and come looking.

It thrashed for a moment spilling streams of blood onto the ground, still wailing, before it suddenly slumped forward unconscious, the pain and fear of the ordeal finally overloading its system.

As the merman's senses abandoned it, Haruka's came rushing back.

He ran over to the creature and peered worriedly at the new wound.

It was bleeding profusely but from what Haruka could see, no permanent damage had been done. It wouldn't be able to swim for a while, but it would survive.

As long as the bleeding stopped.

Haruka thought hard for a moment before remembering the first aid box stashed in his tool kit. He sent a silent prayer of thanks to wherever Sasabe was for nagging him to bring it as he went back the way he came, clambering over the rocks unsteadily in his haste.

He would bandage the merman before it woke up, remove the rest of the netting and with a little luck it would be able to get into the water by itself and rest in the shallows until it healed.

He reefed open the tool kit and double-checked that the first aid box had everything he needed. Bandages, disinfectant and cotton wads were snuggled inside it waiting to be used.

Haruka climbed back up the rock pile as quickly as he had come down it, and paused at the top staring down into the inlet. 

The merman was awake, shivering in pain, its arms folded and its chin resting on them. 

It stared out at the ocean, biting its lip to stop itself from making anymore noise. It wasn't even trying to escape.

The creature was weeping. 

Fat rivulets of tears made their way down its all-too human face and it couldn't repress the few sniffles and and whimpers that it let out from its lips. 

Haruka's heart broke to look at it.

He stepped down onto the ground, deliberately making noise as he had done before and the merman swiped a large forearm across its face to hide its tears.

Under different circumstances, Haruka would have thought the childish gesture was cute.

He held up the first aid box, and spoke as slowly and calmly as he had before.

“This is medicine. I can fix your fin with it.... Do you understand? I can make your fin,” He pointed to he injured appendage, “Better.... And then get rid of the net...okay?”

He moved slowly once more but this time the merman didn't even try to move. Whether he was in too much pain to do so or if it had just given up Haruka wasn't sure.

He hoped it was the former option.

He came to the creature's tail but didn't touch the injury just yet.

“This... will hurt,” He explained, “But it is to fix it so.... don't hit me again.... please.”

The merman turned its head to look at him with one bright, glimmering eye.

Haruka stared back for a moment before shaking his head and getting to work. 

The first problem was getting the hook out. All there was to do was to pull at it until it gave and this process took several minutes as the merman would flinch every time Haruka touched it and growl in pain. 

Eventually it came loose and a new stream of blood came with it but it was neither as thick or as fast-flowing as the ones before. 

With it out, Haruka was able to remove the rest of the net quickly, and tossed it against the cliff face behind them a little petulantly. 

He then dabbed a disinfected swab against the injured fin, making the merman let out a quiet hiss but it didn't not flinch again. Haruka patted the tail absentmindedly in reassurance. 

A good four inches of flesh were missing from the dorsal fin but with any luck what was missing would not hinder the creature when it healed. He wrapped clean bandages around the whole of the fin and nearly ran out of them. He made a mental note to get more before Sasabe noticed and asked questions.

Next he set about dabbing smaller cuts the merman had received while trapped. These were superficial compared to its fin injury but Haruka took care to clean every one he could find of the dirt and sand that had gotten into them, ending with the creature's arms.

Haruka shuffled around to where they were still folded under the creature's great head and worked on them as best as he could with what little of them he could get to.

The merman watched him work with a face that grew less cautious and more weary as he continued. Its eyes were red from its crying jag and it looked like it was about to collapse again.

After doing his best with the arms, Haruka sat back on his heels and contemplated his next move.

The merman made his decision for him. 

It stretched out its arms around Haruka, exposing the cuts he hadn't had access to and laid its head on the sand. 

Haruka stared for at moment until the creature looked up at him and whined. 

He launched back into work, cleaning the wounds as best he could and silently admiring the creature for its trust.

When he was done and packing the few supplies he had left away, the merman suddenly shifted, pulling its body upright and swinging its tail slowly around so it was leaning upright against a pile of rocks. 

It made a face as it shifted awkwardly to find a position that wouldn't send pain flaring down its back and eventually settled down. Its eyelids drooped shut once, twice before it shook its head and looked back to Haruka. 

He stood slowly. 

His work was effectively done. The merman was free, its injuries attended to and Haruka himself had come out of the ordeal relatively unscathed. 

It didn't exactly feel right leaving the creature be, both because it was still injured and because on a more selfish level, Haruka wanted to be with the amazing beast for a little longer.

But it was clearly exhausted and more than likely afraid of him so he reluctantly began to leave.

He climbed slowly over the rock barrier for the last time determined not to turn around lest he be tempted to stay.

He had seen an amazing sight he had never seen before, and even helped the magnificent creature a little bit. That ought to be enough.

Besides he still had to finish his job and get his salvage back to base.

“....thank you.”

Haruka froze at the top of the pile. 

The merman's voice was masculine but higher-pitched than he would have thought for its size.

He did not turn around but the small smile on his face lasted all the way home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which school is not the place to be thinking about mermen, and more than one awkward conversation is held.

The ocean view was inescapable. 

Wherever Haruka turned in Iwatobi High, it gleamed in the corner of his eye and drove him to distraction.

Harsh Summer sunlight bounced off of it, a far cry from the weekend's stormy weather, and no matter where he looked it constantly sparkled at the edge of his vision.

The annoying glimmer did not help his already overloaded thought process.

Saturday's memories crowed for Haruka's attention as he sat at the back of class, doodling aimlessly. 

He didn't not have a reputation as a particularly diligent student in the first place but his discovery in the isolated inlet had invaded his mind and beaten what little will he had to concentrate in class into a bloody pulp.

Learning the past participles of English verbs seemed even less appealing than they had before when one knew of the existence of mythical undersea creatures.

He finally relented and turned to stare out of the window. 

The sea looked far more inviting than it had two days ago, a picture-perfect slash of blue reaching beyond the horizon.

The tourism board would have been delighted. 

Haruka could only wonder. His mind, for once, was focused on what else could be swimming in those depths instead of dreaming that he was.

And if he would ever see it again.

Perhaps he should have stayed and made sure the creature had gotten into the water alright. Then again, it was possible that it couldn't swim with its injury. In that case it could still be wading in the shallows of the inlet where he left it, and what if a fishing boat came across it?

The creature would panic again certainly, hurt itself more and maybe take a couple of innocent people with it. Having found it first, surely it was Haruka's responsibility to make sure that didn't happen. 

For everyone's sake of course. 

As fearful as the creature had seemed of him, going back to check on it really was the best option for it.

Just to make sure it was safe.

These were the justifications Haruka gave himself as he stared out the window but deep down he knew as soon as he walked away from the inlet two days ago that he would be returning to it sooner rather than later.

“-anase-kun? Nanase-kun!”

Haruka jumped a little at the call, and found Miss Amataka standing over his desk, frowning.

“Nanase-kun, didn't you hear me? I asked you a question.” She sighed.

“Sorry...” He mumbled, looking away from her.

“Well...?” She waited for a moment too long, a small painful silence, before letting the book she was reading from drop to her side.

“Have you been listening to me at all, Nanase-kun?” She asked hesitantly.

Haruka did not look back at her.

“...No.” He admitted.

The class burst into subdued laughter at his bluntness and Amataka let out another sigh.

“Is that so...? See me after class, Nanase-kun.”

~~ 

The talk Miss Amataka gave Haruka after class consisted of a lot of words like “personal responsibility”, “peer-reviewed process” and “applied focus” but ultimately boiled down to the same _straighten-up-and-fly-right_ spiel that Sasabe had given him before work on Saturday.

He zoned out halfway through and idly wondered if the two would ever get along if they met. 

The conversation came rapidly back into focus when she mentioned if his parents had been home recently.

As his homeroom teacher, she knew of his housing situation, as did school administration.

 _What do they have to do with anything though?_ Haruka thought.

He mumbled something vague about phonecalls, and Amataka let it drop.

She dismissed eventually with a weary wave of her hand but he caught a look of genuine worry on her face as he left. 

He walked a little faster once out of class. 

Amataka was a decent teacher, and probably did want was best for him but he really didn't need anyone to fuss over him. He was fine, maybe not a good student but no-one to worry about. She didn't need to look so worried. Haruka was doing just fine on his own. 

As he stepped onto the school roof for lunch however, he found himself rather desperate for help.

A pickle slice landed square in the middle of his forehead as he walked through the door accompanied by a battle cry and a scandalized “Nagisa-kun!”

He peeled the offensive vegetable off his head only to see his childhood friend sitting cross-legged on the ground, and digging around his lunchbox for another missile. 

Haruka glared at the first-year until he looked up and glared right back.

“And what time do you call this, Haru-chan?” Nagisa Hazuki cried, brandishing his chopsticks menacingly.

“Time for you to eat your vegetables,” Haruka retorted, wiggling the pickle at him.

As he crouched down, Nagisa squealed and wriggled away from him. He bumped shoulders with Rei who sighed and adjusted his glasses. 

“Please don't mind him, Haruka-senpai,” Rei leaned around him to speak, “He was just worried because you were late to meet us.”

“Of course! I was only worried about you, Haru-chan!” Nagisa said, leaping to his own defense, “I barely see you as is and we agreed to have lunch together everyday didn't we?”

He sprang forward suddenly and nuzzled Haruka's arm with his head.

“You're the only one who agreed to that...” He grumbled.

Despite his complaints, and unwarranted assault, he was happy to eat with his underclassmen. Nagisa he had known since childhood through their old swimming club and he was as bright and cheerful now as he was back then, if a little more mischievous. Nagisa was easy to talk to, mostly because he did most of the talking. Haruka was grateful for his company. 

Rei, if he was honest with himself, he didn't know what to think of. He was in Nagisa's class and had been pretty much abducted by the blond boy the first few times he had seen him. Haruka knew he was on the track team and thought that he seemed nice, if a little high-strung.

But he made Nagisa happy, which was what mattered, and from the small smile the other boy's antics pulled out of him more and more often, he probably got some happiness in return. 

Haruka remembered a time when it was all Nagisa could do to try and keep up with his older friends. Seeing him cosying up to someone his own age made Haruka happy as well.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by a particularly hard nuzzle.

“Haru-chan! Are you even listening to me?” Nagisa complained.

Haruka had to admit for the second time that day that no, he had not been listening.

“So rude!” Nagisa pouted, “On top of being late, now you ignore us? It might as well just be me and Rei-chan up here!”

“A-am I not good enough company, Nagisa-kun?!” Rei exclaimed, sounding equally offended.

“Ehehehe, Rei-chan is Rei-chan, but Haru-chan is Haru-chan!” Nagisa declared proudly.

“That's not a real answer!” Rei screeched.

Haruka decided to zone out again, the two younger boys could be at this for a while. 

With a sharp jab to his side, Nagisa let him know that that was not an option.

“Haru-chan! Listen!”

“What!” He snapped.

“Alright I'll say it again, since you're so spacey,” Nagisa sighed, as if speaking was such a chore for him, “You're lucky I'm so nice Haru-chan!”

The temperature on the roof seemed to drop several degrees as Haruka silently let Nagisa know exactly what he thought of his courtesy.

“I said, now that its warmer, we should go to the beach and teach Rei-chan how to swim!”

Haruka looked up sharply at that.

“You can't swim?!” He asked Rei, whipping his head around to gawk at him.

His voice may have been too incredulous as Rei flushed violently red and looked away from him.

“I-I never saw it as a necessity... As exercise, it holds little value and as a art, it fails in every aspect. I mean how can you justify splashing around in salt water for fun?” Rei was even redder now and was working himself into a fluster, “Humans evolved to leave the water not return to it! It's illogical, irrational! Worse than that, far worse, it simply isn't _beautiful!_ How can you expect me to learn something so dreadful, Nagisa-kun?!”

Rei heaved slightly as Nagisa leaned away from him and Haruka continued to stare.

Several other students on the roof began packing their lunches quickly and sneaking back to class early.

“Sooooo, that's a definite maybe?” Nagisa ventured.

Rei sputtered at him.

“And you'll help out, right Haru-chan?” Nagisa beamed, turning to him.

Haruka gave Rei his most disdainful glare.

“The water wouldn't want you anyway,” He mumbled.

There was a beat and then Rei's jaw fell open at the same time that Nagisa collasped into spasms of laughter.

Haruka began to chew his lunch balefully. It was shaping up to be a long afternoon.

 

~~

 

The evening found Haruka walking along the coast again. 

He had used his spare key to take the first aid kit from Sasabe's office and was starting to regret it a little. It was heavy from the supplies he had replenished and made his arms ache.

Maybe I went a little overboard re-stocking...?

It didn't take long for him to get to the inlet, nerves make his feet move quickly.

He wondered if it would recognize him.

Haruka climbed the rock pile separating it from the other beaches slowly. He didn't want to startle the merman again, and he would be lying to himself if he didn't admit he was a little nervous himself. It had hit him after all. A small bump on the crown of his head was the only evidence of the blow but a little caution never hurt.

He peeked over the top of the pile, a sharp breeze making him squint.

There was nothing, and no-one, there.

Abandoning his apprehension as quickly as it had come on him, he swung his legs around the top of the pile and slipped down to the packed sand. 

Haruka had a brief moment of sheer panic where he almost convinced himself that the entirety of last Saturday had been a hallucination. Fortunately for his state of mind, he soon saw small speckles of dried blood still dotting the ground and the ruined net thrown haphazardly against the cliff face.

He really ought to get rid of that properly.

As he gathered up the offensive item, he stared out to the sea and thought.

Perhaps it really had managed to swim to deeper waters. Perhaps it hadn't been as injured as he thought, and was now gliding freely through the vast ocean. Perhaps it had a pod that was fussing over it and giving it care like only family could.

Which was _great_ , of course. 

He was very happy that the creature was safe and away from the shoreline where it could be caught. It was a good thing that it was now removed from the danger it had become caught in. 

Haruka decided to reflect on these happy thoughts for a little while, tossing the net back onto the sand and slumping down beside it. 

The sea was as eye-catching up close as it had been at school, and just as irritating.

Everything around him was starting to get under his skin, from the gritty sand clinging to his clothes to the Summer sun glaring in his eyes to the intermittent splashes coming from the next cove over, their rhythm jarring against the waves lapping against the shore. 

Haruka bolted upright. 

The tide wasn't making that noise. 

He stood and made his way over to the sharp rocks that the fishing net had gotten snagged on two days ago. 

They formed a barrier separating the inlet from where the ocean had beaten further into the shoreline and carved a small cave from the cliff face. When the tide was in, the cave flooded but for now, Haruka could wade through the shallows into it if he wished to. 

He listened carefully at the rocks until he heard another arrhythmic splash, louder than before.

He wished to. 

With careful steps, he circled around the stone boundary and into the water. He moved slowly, heedless of his soaked shoes and edged towards the cave mouth. 

The sun only shone at the entrance, the rest looked pitch black from where he stood. 

With one hand pressed against the rocks, Haruka inched forward until he slipped past the sunshine and into the cave proper.

After what seemed like an age of blinking in the dim light, his eyesight finally adjusted.

And his curiosity payed off.

The merman was settled near the back of the cave, resting in the shallows with its huge head resting on its arms. As Haruka watched, he saw it raise its fluke before let it drop back into the water, making the same noise he had heard earlier.

He could also see that the creature looked utterly miserable. 

His childish fit of pique mere minutes before made guilt weigh heavy in his stomach. He felt sick to think about it.

He had wanted to see the merman again and there it was, despondent and clearly still in pain. 

The bandage wrapped around its dorsal fin was looser today and soaked with sea-water. Haruka belatedly remembered the first aid kit hanging from his hand. 

The creature was not crying again but it wasn't far from it either, its eyes bright with unshed tears.

And once more, Haruka felt his resolve settle. 

This was not about him at all. All that mattered was the merman's safety. 

He stepped into the cave proper, not bothering to mask his footsteps.

The merman jumped, then winced as its jolted its injury. It tried to squirm away but with only a upward slope and no more water behind it, it couldn't get very far.

“It's... it's alright,” Haruka spoke as before, soft but clear, “It's me, from the other day...?”

The creature stared blankly at him for a moment and he suddenly found himself considering the memory spam of legendary water dwellers. 

Before his thoughts could stray into worrisome territory however, the merman let out a soft noise of recognition and looked him up and down properly. 

“Yes....” It spoke even softer than he had, “You... you had a knife...”

Haruka winced internally.

_Of all the things to remember...._

“To cut the net you got stuck in, that's all.” He tried not to let any irritation bleed into his voice.

The creature considered this, keeping its eyes down and peeking at him every so often like it was afraid to look. It raised its hand to its mouth and began biting at its thumbnail. 

Haruka tried to be patient, shuffling from one foot to the other. He knew talking to the merman wouldn't be easy, but with its fear coupled with his own blunt, quiet attitude he couldn't shake the feeling that things were going to get a lot more awkward before they got better.

After a few painfully silent minutes, the merman raised its head slightly.

“How... did you find me?” It asked quietly.

Haruka nodded back towards the cave entrance.

“I was on the beach where I first saw you and I heard you splashing.”

He thought it was an odd question to lead with but he saw the creature's shoulders stiffen and it froze on the spot.

“D-do humans come to that beach a lot?” It's voice was even quieter now.

He was quick to catch on. 

“No,” He shook his head quickly, “People don't come here at all, it's practically abandoned.”

It wasn't quite the truth, but he had never seen anyone else at the inlet and he wanted to reassure the shy creature.

“You're... safe here.”

It only stared at him.

Slowly, the tension slid off of its shoulders and it swirled its fingers in the water.

“Then why were you there?” It asked, voice a little stronger than before.

“Work. I take fishing stuff off the beaches and bring it back to my boss,” He explained quickly, his job was the last thing he wanted to talk about right now.

Another small pause.

“Like that weird thing that I got stuck in?” The merman leaned forward a little.

“ Yeah, the net...” He opened his mouth to continue but the creature interrupted him.

“Why did you come back?” It looked him in the eye as it spoke. 

Haruka's thoughts raced. 

_Because I can't stop thinking about you,_ probably wasn't an acceptable answer and _I had to see you again_ wasn't likely to cut it either, so he decided to take a third option.

It was close to what he was about to ask anyway.

“You got hurt,” He held the first aid kit up for inspection, “I wanted to make sure you were still alright.”

The merman blinked and raised its head a little higher.

“Oh.” 

Its surprised expression was almost funny.

It looked over one broad shoulder to its injured fin, curling the lower half of its body slowly towards its head. After considering it for a moment, it suddenly raised its head above Haruka's eye level, and stared intently at the stone ceiling above them.

“It's... I'm fine, totally normal,” It sniffed, avoiding his eyes, “You really didn't have bother coming all the way down....”

Haruka's very small well of patience had run dry and he gave the merman the most unimpressed look he could muster. It tried not to look at him for a full minute, but finally gave up and immediately quailed under his gaze.

“I-it's only a little sore...” The creature whined, lowering its head back onto its forearms.

He suppressed a snort. Wonderful, now it was acting like a child caught out of bed after hours. Time to do what he came here for, at least what he had told the merman he had come here for. Haruka began striding towards it, heedless of his increasingly wet trousers. 

It flinched so violently at his sudden approach, a large spray of water caught him on the chest and the creature itself let out a pained hiss as it jarred its dorsal fin. 

Haruka froze on the spot. 

Okay, so first contact had been established with only a little awkwardness, but the spray of cold water had brought him out of any complacency he might have stumbled into. The merman was a literal fish out of water, badly hurt and being cornered by the person who had mere minutes ago admitted that he had a connection to the thing that had caused the pain. Haruka had to handle this with delicacy and patience. 

He tried not to frown at that thought; if delicacy and patience were what Amataka taught he would be flunking for sure.

The creature apparently didn't have much time for them either. It lowered its head further onto its arms with a prolonged groan, like it was too heavy to hold up and hid its face.

It stayed still for five full minutes and Haruka was torn between retreat and checking its pulse when it spoke again, not lifting its face to him. 

“I can't swim,” It admitted, “I can barely move, it hurts too much... it aches _everywhere_.... I can't hunt, haven't eaten in two days...”

It finally looked at him, its green eyes dull and tired. 

“Do whatever you want, just do it quick... please?”

It's voice sounded so small by the end of its plea that it would have immediately garnered his sympathy if not for the fact that when it confessed that it could no longer swim it had already broken his heart.

It hid its face again with a weary sigh. 

Slowly, slowly, Haruka inched his way forward until he stood in front of the merman's folded arms then knelt down by its head. It seemed even bigger up close and at the same time so very small. He had to work to suppress the impulse to pat its head.

He settled for laying a hand on one of its forearms.

“I want to help.” There was no hesitation. 

It raised its head to look at him, eyes boring into him. They seemed even greener up close.

Haruka was determined not to be blink under its scrutiny, but when it did, slowly and ponderously, he took it as permission.

It pulled one arm out from under its head and raised it to him slowly.

He had a brief flash of panic where he thought he was going to be hit again, and reared back a little, but the merman lowered its hand to where his was, still on its arm, and hovered above it for a moment. It looked like it could cover his four times over or more. It seemed to change its mind however, and put its arm back in the water.

“What's your name?” It whispered.

The question was so unexpected, the answer was startled out of him immediately.

“Haruka.”

“...Haruka,” It repeated slowly, working its mouth around the sound. 

_It almost sounds nice coming out like that,_ he thought.

And as if it had heard him, the merman raised its face to him, and Haruka caught the ghost of a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who college is slowly killing, it's mmeeeeeeeee
> 
> my stress-relief comes in the form of fanfic apparently so this has kind of turned into a monster in terms of word count.
> 
> reminder that updates will be fairly sporadic but if you want to bother me about it, hit me up at redalfa.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "After he had introduced himself, he had moved around to the creature's back to inspect its injuries. The smaller cuts were healing alright but when he had unwrapped the loose bandages from its fin, it had let out a whimper of pain and Haruka himself had winced."
> 
> In which wounds are taken care of, our protagonists bicker and everyone gets their pronouns straight.

“Are you male or female?”

Haruka paused in his inspection of the dorsal fin and turned around to the merman.

“Or... are you something else? I-I don't mean to offend you!” It sputtered, “It's just a bit hard to tell with humans...”

Haruka snorted. The creature was fiddling with its hands and avoiding his eye again. If it hadn't been over four times his size, he would call it cute.

After he had introduced himself, he had moved around to the creature's back to inspect its injuries. The smaller cuts were healing alright but when he had unwrapped the loose bandages from its fin, it had let out a whimper of pain and Haruka himself had winced. 

As short as the journey was from the inlet to the cave, the merman hadn't done itself any favours by moving. The wound had reopened, it was now caked with congealing blood and gritty sand. It would hurt the creature like hell to clean it, Haruka knew, but better that then leaving it as it was. 

As soon as the merman turned to look at its fin it turned away again, going pale. Haruka continued to inspect it, however, placing the first aid kit into the shallows and peering intently before deciding his course of action. From the corner of his eye, he spotted the merman looking again, not at its injury but at him. 

And after a minute or so of its own inspection, it had asked its odd question.

“I'm a boy,” He answered, sparing it from its embarrassment.

It brighten up immediately.

“Ah, like me! I thought so to be honest, but I didn't want to assume...” It explained.

Haruka almost laughed, surprised that the merman was being careful to not cause offense.

“It's the same for me,” He said quietly.

“Hmm?”

“I thought you were male too but because you're not human, I didn't want to just guess,” He told _him_ , amending the pronoun in his mind. 

The merman gave him one of those small smiles again.

Haruka gave the fin another cursory glance before bending down to crack open the first aid kit. The lid sprung open and a roll of bandages flew out, landing in the shallow pool with a splash. He frowned at his overflowing supplies. He definitely went over board re-stocking.

A hand entered his line of vision as the merman plucked the bandages out of the water. When he turned to him, he was inspecting them as closely as he had him. The merman tossed them from palm to palm gently and raised his face to Haruka.

“You used this before,” It wasn't really a question, but he nodded anyway.

“Bandages,” He clarified, “You wrap them around open wounds to stop blood loss and they also keep injuries clean... at least they're supposed to,” He glared at the dorsal fin again as though it was insulting him. 

“Wrap?” The merman asked, lost in his own thoughts.

As he wondered over Haruka's terminology, he missed his own toss and the bandages landed in the water again. Now thoroughly soaked, they began to unravel. 

The merman bolted upright, making Haruka stumble backward, and began apologizing profusely.

“Ah! Haruka, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!” He made a grab for them and whimpered as they fell apart further in his hands.

He opened his mouth and turned to Haruka, eyes wide with worry, but Haruka held up a hand to him before he could apologize again.

“It's fine,” He said, a little stunned, “They were already wet, so I couldn't have used them. Lay back down.”

The merman did so slowly, aware of the pain lancing up his back now that panic wasn't distracting him. Haruka marveled at bit at the over-reaction. He wondered if it stemmed from his caution around humans, or if it was just the merman's own personality. 

He hid a smile while taking antispectic spray out of the first aid kit. Of all the things he expected the mythical sea creature to be, a worrywart was not one of them.

His amusement faded quickly as he turned back to him and saw that his head was folded on his arms again. He had let the ruined bandages fall back into the water and was toying with them despondently. 

“I really am sorry,” He mumbled, not looking at Haruka who was now at a bit of a loss.

“...It's alright,” He tried to sound reassuring but it came out more confused than anything. 

Surely he couldn't be this upset about the little accident.

The merman peeked at him from the corner of his eye.

“No... I have a lot to apologize for,” He bit at his thumbnail again.

Haruka raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for an explanation. The merman continued to peer at him balefully, and when he shook his head slightly, still greatly confused, he huffed and propped himself up on his arms. 

“I hit you? Remember?” 

Without warning, all of the colour drained from his face.

“Did I hit you so hard that you _don't_ remember?!” He shrieked, his voice echoing of the cave walls.

Haruka blinked once, twice, and was suddenly torn between bursting into laughter and ramming his head into a rock. The merman was far beyond worrywart, a worrywart would be a blessing compared to this mile-a-minute panic.

With the creature still watching him with huge, frightened eyes however, he settled for letting out a huff of exasperation. 

“It's fine,” He muttered, turning back to the fin, “You were scared-”

“That's no excuse!” The merman snapped, voice as loud as Haruka had ever heard it.

He looked at him sharply. He was almost glaring at Haruka, looking frustrated. His cheeks were stained with blotchy red.

“You're so much smaller than me,” He whined, “You were only trying to help and I could have seriously hurt you! I owe you an apology.”

Haruka glared right back.

“Then it's the same for me, isn't it?”

“Huh?” The colour faded from his face.

“The person I work for owns that net. When it was damaged I repaired it,” He admitted, looking him straight in the eye, “And it seriously hurt you. So I should be sorry as well, right?”

The merman looked away. 

_Stubborn_ , Haruka thought viciously, _Stubborn and he overthinks things, wonderful._

The merman gave him a side-eye.

“...too stubborn,” He pouted, twiddling a finger in the water again. 

At least they agreed on one thing.

“You were scared,” Haruka repeated after a moment, “It's okay, I got a little bump that's all.”

The merman finally looked back at him properly.

“Weren't you scared too?” He asked, quiet again. 

He considered it, absentmindedly pulling cotton wads out of the first aid kit as he did.

“...No,” He finally said, “Too amazed to be, I think.” 

He looked to the merman. His cheeks were red again. 

“Haruka?” He called softly, “Um, I'll accept your 'sorry' if you accept mine? And... we can start over?” He gave him a small, hopeful smile.

Haruka gave him a nod back.

“We didn't have the... friendliest start,” He agreed, “I'll accept, if you stop thinking so much and beating yourself up for it,” He took a risk on a joke in a split-second decision, “You're beat enough as is,” He patted the side of his tail in emphasis.

The merman smiled then, a full, genuine smile that took up his whole face and Haruka couldn't help but think it was a little unfair to look so sweet with one gesture. 

The softness of it was tempered, he noticed, by the fact that his teeth were orca-like as well. 

“With me as beat up as I am, I can't do much but think Haruka!” He joked.

He couldn't resist his own little smile curling the corners of his mouth.

“Haru,” He then corrected.

“Umm?”

“Just...Haru is fine, 'Haruka' is...” He let his smile slip away then, “I prefer Haru.”

“Haru, hmmm, Haru,” The merman repeated the nickname a few times, and nodded.

Then called him again.

“I owe you another apology,” He said, still smiling.

Before Haruka could begin to glare, he held his hands up in surrender and laughed.

“All this talk, and I haven't told you my name! Sorry!”

Haruka blinked. That was true, they may have sorted out their pronouns but he didn't know what to actually call him. 

The merman was still giving him that smile.

Haruka raised an eyebrow at him, and he chuckled.

“It's... Makoto,” He said softly, “I'm Makoto.”

He raised the other brow.

“That's.... surprisingly ordinary,” Haruka admitted.

“Hey!” Makoto laughed again, and splashed him.

Haruka flinched at the spray and kicked back a little.

“Knock it off,” He tried to hold back his own smile, “I'm trying to work... Makoto.”

“Yes, yes...” He murmured, settling down and laying his chin on his folded arms again.

Before he could even start working however, Haruka had to take a moment to take a breath and focus. He had been thrown not only by how easily the merman had opened up to him, but also by how easy _he_ found it to do the same. He had been drawn into talking, bickering and _joking_ , of all things, like he had known Makoto for years instead of not having even known his name for a full minute.

It was a bit off-putting, if he was honest with himself. Perhaps the legends about sirens who could charm sailors weren't entirely off the mark.

“Haru?” Makoto's call brought him out of his thoughts and he shook his head to clear it. 

He took the rest of the supplies he needed out of the first aid kit and began to work. 

Then paused again.

Makoto blinked as Haruka walked around to his head and gathered up the bandages he had ruined earlier. He watched with confusion as he waded them up into a rough ball and held them out to him.

“It's going to hurt, bite down on this,” He instructed. 

Makoto took it with bemusement as he walked back to the injured fin.

“I appreciate it, Haru, but I think I'll-” He broke off into a loud hiss of pain as Haruka dragged the first disinfected cotton swab across the open wound. 

His would-be medic gave him a dour look and pointed to his own mouth. Makoto realized he was biting his lip and had broken the skin. He gingerly placed the wet bandages between his teeth, flushed with embarrassment.

After staring Makoto down for another moment, Haruka turned back to the fin. His priority was getting it as clean as possible as quickly as he could. It would hurt Makoto no matter what, so best to get it done quickly.

Despite his intentions, it took several minutes to clean the congealed dirt and blood from the injury with Makoto shivering beneath his hands all the while. By the time he had finished, even the thin scabbing under the build-up was gone and the wound was bleeding slightly again. He finished cleaning quickly and wrapped fresh bandages tightly around the fin.

Haruka frowned. He was not a doctor. He could barely remember the first aid lessons from middle school that he was working off of now to try and patch up the wound. All he could do realistically was change Makoto's bandages and make sure his injury didn't get infected. If it didn't heal, or goodness forbid, got worse, he had no idea what he would do. 

He pushed the thoughts away while scrubbing tracks of dried blood off of the skin in front of him. It wouldn't do any good to get lost in that brooding mindset now while he was working. 

He gave the area around the dorsal fin a swipe of the swab but hesitated as he brushed up against Makoto's blowhole. He hadn't even noticed it up until now. 

With a bloody fin and a terrified giant sea-creature to worry about though, he quickly forgave his own oversight. 

It looked big enough to fit his clenched fist with room to spare and expanded with every breath the merman took. He brushed the swab around the rim curiously.

Makoto squirmed.

“Ah... are you done yet, Haru?” He asked, taking the wad of bandages out his mouth.

Haruka made an affirmative noise and began packing away his supplies.

Makoto turned as best he could to inspect his handiwork. 

“So...” He started chewing at his lip again, “How is it, do you think?”

Haruka fiddled with the clasp on the first aid kit to avoid looking at him. 

Crouching in the cold sea water, he felt a horrible sense of uselessness creeping in his gut. 

“...I don't know,” He admitted quietly, “It's not healing... but it's only been a few days.”

He said more to reassure himself than Makoto, but the merman agreed anyway.

“That's true...” He gestured to the gauze tied around his fin, “And you've done such a good job as well, thank you!”

Haruka didn't turn to look at him but he could hear the smile in his voice.

That feeling in his gut became nauseating when he realized the merman was trying to reassure him.

He slammed the lid of the first aid kit shut, face hot with shame.

“Don't get water on it,” He said sharply.

Makoto fell silent behind him and he started kicking himself mentally. He really needed to stop being so bad at this. Makoto had enough to worry about without adding _his_ issues to the mix. 

He caught the eye of his own reflection in the water and got the sudden impulse to strike it.

“Haru,” Makoto called softly.

He glanced over his shoulder to find the merman still smiling benignly. Then he nodded his head.

“I won't. Is there anything else I ought to do?” He asked. 

Haruka swallowed. He stood slowly, fumbling with the first aid kit. He felt the coil in his stomach unwind as Makoto spoke. 

“Just... try to keep it dry...” He mumbled, “I'll come check on it anyway...”

Makoto's smile grew wider.

“I'll be careful. Let me know if there is anything else I can do, okay?”

He was speaking the way Haruka had before, when they had first met and again when he had come into the cave earlier. Soft and slow like he was a strange animal Makoto was trying not to scare.

In a way, Haruka supposed, that was what he was in the merman's eyes just as Makoto was in his.

He couldn't help but feel that he was doing a far better job of it than he had. 

“I will,” He finally said, “Rest, and keep an eye on it. If it gets worse let me know.”

He still didn't know what he would do if that happened, only that he would do his damn best.

Makoto nodded and lay his back down onto his folded arms. 

Haruka set the heavy first aid kit down again and looked to the cave mouth. The tide was beginning to trickle in and he matched his breathing to the sound of the waves. The sea air felt good in his lungs.

After a moment, Makoto spoke. 

“You're very kind,” He said it softly, almost to himself. 

Haruka froze and turned to stare at him. 

There went his sudden calm.

Makoto stared back with an even look as though he had mentioned the weather.

Haruka turned his face away, glaring at nothing.

“Don't say things like that to someone you don't know,” He snapped, flushed with irritation. 

He couldn't help but think of his almost-tantrum at the inlet. Haruka was many things. He doubted 'kind' was among them.

The merman boosted his torso up with his arms and shook his head.

“It's true though, Haru. Don't put yoursel-”

He was interrupted by a noise so loud it echoed off of the cave walls and Haruka jumped.

It was a mix of groaning and gurgling that lasted a solid seven seconds and Haruka took a few steps forward to peer out of the cave. He wasn't sure if the cacophony had come from outside or not. 

But the ocean before him was empty and he turned back to Makoto, eyebrows raised.

The question on his lips died when he saw how red the merman's face was.

“Ah...um,” Makoto swallowed suddenly, his oh-so-steady gaze suddenly boring into the water, “S-sorry... about that.”

Haruka blinked and then his thoughts caught up with him.

“Was that... your stomach?” He failed to keep the surprise out of his voice.

Makoto nodded meekly, cheeks growing redder.

Haruka's irritation bled away in an instant at the sight. 

“You said you hadn't eaten in a while, right?” 

The merman nodded again, twirling a finger in the water.

“Y-yeah, since I got hurt...”

Haruka walked back to him, thinking.

“What _do_ you eat?” He asked after a minute.

Makoto's blush faded as he thought about the question.

“Well... in this bay? Mostly fish... I haven't seen seals or anything since I got here. I guess because humans live so close to the sea?” He wondered aloud.

Haruka thought too.

He looked Makoto up and down, taking in his size and how long he had gone without eating.

Then he nodded to himself. He would have to cash in a few favours and twist a few arms, but it could be done. 

He heaved the first aid kit into his arms again.

“Stay here,” He instructed, looking the merman in the eye.

“That's part of the problem, Haru,” He sighed, “I can't really move with my fin like this, so of course I can't – Hey! Haru! Where are you going?”

Makoto called out to him but it was too late. Haruka was already jogging out of the cave and back to the shore. 

He had his work set out for him, but if this was all he could do for now, he wouldn't stop until the job was done and done well.

Makoto deserved that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really shouldn't be typing an in-for-the-long-haul fanfiction with so much other work to do but that isn't going to stop me.
> 
> I have been seeing your comments and I'm so happy with the response this has been getting! Thank you so so much, ur all beautiful~~


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Haruka bothers a pensioner and Makoto self-reflects.

Daiki Kujikawa, in his own estimation, lived a good life. 

He was still as active and healthy in his sixties as he had been in his twenties, his fishing business while far smaller than the commercial fleets was vastly more popular with the locals, and his youngest granddaughter would be graduating from a prestigious university within the year. By all accounts, Daiki was a content man. 

His employees praised him for his dedication to his job, while his friends poked fun at his pigheaded work-ethic. Daiki himself called it an in-bred awareness of knowing when to stand his ground. More importantly, in his own opinion, he also knew when to back away, and stand down. He had spent his whole life by the sea, and had a healthy respect for it instilled in him at a young age. When other fleets set off with a little wind against them, he kept his docked on the instinct that bigger gales were brewing, and when the summer squalls splashed onto others' covered decks, he was out on the open water reeling in the finest yellowtail in their dozens.

Daiki felt that understanding the ways and whims of nature was the key to his success, and he was confident in his ability to do so, from the mightiest storm, to the softest breeze, to Iwatobi's own localised force of nature that was currently stomping his way down the beach to where Daiki stood on the deck of his docked boat.

The bigger companies, they didn't understand it, and even some of the locals struggled to wrap their heads around this kind of behaviour but Daiki, as he did with everything else, took it in his stride.

And if nothing else, it was usually fun.

“Good evening, Nanase-kun!” He called over the side of the ship cheerfully, “Little late to be out, isn't it?” 

Haruka Nanase, know to every fisher on Iwatobi's shores even before he began to work for that old snake Sasabe, was somewhat of a local phenomenon. From the time he was a child and clutching his grandmother's skirts, he had come down as the fishing fleets docked in the morning to demand fresh fish before they could even be taken to the market two hundred metres inland. His reserved manner and soft, strong voice put off a lot of people but Daiki accepted his behaviour like he did the weather, and got a lot of Nanase's business for his troubles.

The young man now came to a halt at the side of Daiki's boat and completely ignored his greeting.

“Kujikawa-san, I need whatever bait fish you have left from today,” He said, peering up at him.

Daiki blinked once, twice and ran the sentence over in his head again.

“Huh?” 

“Bait fish,” Nanase repeated, holding up two buckets already teeming with wriggling silver masses, “And whatever fishmeal you can spare.”

Daiki took another moment to find his voice.

“Going fishing, Nanase-kun...?” He guessed uncertainly.

The boy shook his head.

“Stray cats in my neighbourhood,” He murmured in way of an explanation.

It was an answer so bizarre and unexpected, and so _him_ , all Daiki could do was burst into laughter. Nanase frowned up at him.

“Ah, you'll have them spoiled, Nanase-kun, no point in encouraging that kind of behaviour now!” He called down to him, still chuckling. 

He didn't respond, but simply stood staring up at Daiki with a frown on his face. He knew the boy well enough at this point to know that he would do so for as long as necessary and, like the weather, Daiki knew better than to try and fight him.

He still let him stew for a moment more however, there was no fun in giving in straight away. 

“Alright, alright,” He eventually agreed, “I suppose I'm not the first you've strong-armed into giving up their goods anyway,” He nodded towards the almost-full buckets Nanase was carrying, while jerking his thumb behind him, “Come on up and we'll get you sorted out.”

Nanase nodded and immediately set off for the other side of the boat where the gangplank was wedged in the sand. As soon as he was on deck he headed straight down to the fish hold and Daiki trailed after him, still trying to keep his laughter down.

The morning's catch had been a little under the average amount but nothing Daiki would worry about. As a result however, he was able to give Nanase nearly a whole other bucketful of fish and tossed in a couple of older bags of fishmeal on top of that. The boy staggered a bit as he stood up again. 

“How much do I owe you?” He tried to ask but Daiki was already waving the question away before he could finish it.

“Nonsense, Nanase-kun, everyone knows yourself and your grandmother, lord rest her, have given me enough business over the years,” He insisted, “I think I can spare this lot for you.”

Nanase blinked, then bowed his head and thanked him quietly. Daiki caught a small smile on his face before he lowered his head.

He excused himself hurriedly and headed for the door. Daiki just managed to reach the bottom of the stairs as he got to the top, rushing for the gangplank. The fisherman let out a weary wheeze. Nanase was fun, no doubt about it, but the boy wore him out. 

“Hold on there!” He called to his retreating back, “These bones aren't what they used to be.”

When he was finally above board again, Nanase was standing at the top of the gangplank glaring at the setting sun. 

“...Kujikawa-san,” He spoke up suddenly as Daiki was still trying to catch his breath, “I have one more favour to ask.”

The fisherman grunted some kind of affirmative in his direction.

Nanase blinked at the light and bit his lip before turning back to him.

“It would be better...” He said in a very small voice, “If my boss... didn't know I was asking for these things.” 

Daiki got his breath back just in time to lose it to another belly-laugh.

“Sasabe has no problem sending you to collect everyone else's washed-up crap, and you think this'll bother him?” He cackled.

Nanase shuffled at the edge of the boat and stared back out at ocean, silent. Daiki took a moment more to calm down before smiling at him. 

“I'm only joking, Nanase-kun,” He promised, “Your secret is safe with me.”

The boy nodded once, still not looking at him. 

“Thank you, Kujikawa-san.”

And then he was gone, striding down the gangplank and along the shore as fast as he could with all his extra weight. 

He stopped suddenly and craned his head back towards where Daiki was standing on the deck.

“I might be back for more tomorrow!” He called, before running off as quickly as he could.

 _Like the weather_ , the old man couldn't help but think, as he burst into chuckles one more time.

~~

They drink blood. They feast on living flesh. They destroy everything in their path and make their dens in the wreckage. They take everything they can carry and leave behind nothing but poison. They make cruel crippling traps and drag away anything that stumbles into them. Some have more than one set of eyes, others fix metal to their jaws to make them stronger. They hunt in packs, constantly roaming for their next meal and, if they cannot find it, they kill and devour each other.

Humans are dangerous, mindless animals, and they will kill you if they get the chance.

You must never give them that chance.

Ever since he was a calf, these were the ideas Makoto was raised with. They were what his mother whispered to him as she took his hand and led him away from the strange shapes floating in the distance. They were part of the advice his father gave him as he set off on his first solo hunting trip. They were even part of the bedtime stories he told to Ren and Ran after a long day of play. 

That humans were to be avoided was an everyday fact of his life. 

And then the storm happened. 

Bloody, bruised and beached, Makoto had thought he would die even before the human had appeared on that tiny patch of sand. 

It had been his own fault of course. He had come closer to the shore to shelter from the winds battering the surface of the sea even though he was miles below them and built to withstand any kind of weather. A fear of storms leftover from childhood welled up in him when he heard the first thunderclap however and, outside of the safety of his pod, he had headed for the relative shelter of the cliffs instead of a parent's waiting arms. 

He had been warned against approaching land unless absolutely necessary among the plethora of other lessons he had been given over the years. But now Makoto was an adult, technically, fully-grown and on extended separation from his settled family, and expected to be able to make his own decision. As a flash of lighting made him flinch so badly that he sent a school of sea bream scattering in all directions, he decided that approaching land _was_ absolutely necessary.

So he had no-one to blame but himself for where he was now; a cramped cave with too little water, a dorsal fin he only had to look at for it to start bleeding again, and an empty stomach that announced itself every three minutes. 

And of course, there was the guilt.

He had been _seen_. 

The most important lesson Makoto had ever been taught about humans was to stay away from them, not only because they could hurt him, but because if they saw one creature they had never known before, they were sure to look for the rest. Being seen did not only mean danger for one person, it spelled doom for everyone they loved, everyone they knew and everyone they didn't. It was a caution repeated by his parents, by his aunts and uncles, by the pod's matriarch, over and over again.

Exposure was death by another name. 

That first night after the human had found him on the beach, after it had placed strange-smelling liquids on his wounds and wrapped something stiff and white across his fin, Makoto had wept again, both for himself and for his family. 

The human would be back eventually, he knew, it would bring others of its kind and they would drag him away from the water to never return. That human had probably only looked after his wounds so he didn't die before they had a chance to have their way with him. Once they were through with him, they would find his pod and take them as well. The thought of the twins experiencing the same pain and fear he was made him queasy and he threw up more than once throughout the night, overwhelmed physically and mentally. 

Come sunrise, he had calmed down enough to drag himself to the water's edge. He could at least try to escape. Pain flooded his system and he already knew he would not be able to swim. The cove to the other side of the beach however had actually been what he was aiming for as he came to the shore the night of the storm until the human-trap had of course stopped him in his tracks. 

Getting there was an effort. The water was too shallow even if he could have swam. Using only his arms was torture. Halfway around the rocks where the human-trap had gotten stuck and ripped at his fin, he could feel it beginning to bleed again. Pain soared up his spine with every muscle he moved but staying still was no longer an option. It took the guts of two hours to get into the cool darkness of the cave but he held onto the vague hope that if he stayed hidden, any humans that came looking for him would think he had escaped. 

Exhaustion overcame everything else and he slept for the rest of the day. 

The next day's sun rose, and made its way across the sky. He mostly dozed, ignoring his injury as best he could.

And then, when the sun was nearly finished its journey, his prediction came half-way true.

The human returned.

However it returned alone.

And it spoke to him again. 

That had been what shocked Makoto the most, that it actually _could_ speak. He couldn't help but respond to it, curiosity seething under everything else he felt. He told himself that he had to know if it would bring others to him, if his hiding spot would be easily exposed. If he was honest however, Makoto wanted to know more about the beasts who lived on land, who he had been afraid of for so long. 

Was this one an exception or could they all speak? Did they all look the same or did their faces vary? What were those strange thin fins they moved on? Why were they so small?

His curiosity peaked and died as it approached him however, fast and angry-looking, and he remember how much danger he was in. 

He wouldn't be able to fight even if he had the guts to, but he made a promise to himself as the human stared him down after being splashed. 

No matter what they did to him, no matter how badly they hurt him, he would never tell them anything about his family. He would convince them that he was unique. He promised himself he would be the only one to die. 

So he lay his head on his arms and gave up. 

And the human approached him slowly and offered to help.

He couldn't help but stare. 

As he took in its small features, its thick black hair and deep blue eyes, Makoto realised he was not looking at an animal.

The human could still turn out to be as violent and vicious as he had been told, but without a doubt Makoto was aware that he was looking at a person. 

This person told him its ( _his_ , he corrected himself) name, and he had told him his. This person wiped his injury clean and they had bickered, they had joked with each other and it was almost too easy to forget the situation he was in in those few minutes of conversation. 

When his stomach growled however, the human had left abruptly and reality came rushing back to him. He ought to still be cautious, he was still very much in danger, and it was true that Makoto was worried. 

The problem was he was now worried for entirely the wrong reason.

He was worried for Haru. 

The guilt that had settled on the human's shoulders after he had finished looking at Makoto's fin wasn't something he had understood but he could see it as clear as day. 

So he had spoken up. He had reassured Haru on what he thought the problem might be and, when that made him tense up more, he changed the subject slightly and agreed to the terms of his care. The human had stood up then, the tension slipping off of him like water. 

Makoto was surprised at himself. Helping other members of the pod was taught to him from birth, and he had always had a knack for doing so with his words as much as with his actions. He was a little overwhelmed however by how much he wanted to make sure Haru was alright though. After several minutes of dwelling on this, he realised it was probably because he was coming to terms with the idea that Haru wanted the same for him. 

And then his stupid empty stomach had to ruin the moment.

He honestly didn't know if the human would come back. Again, he was shocked at how much he wanted him to. He was still wary of course, one conversation hadn't made an idiot out of him, and from now on he would have to be careful what he said. With his health essentially in the human's hands, there wasn't any easy way for him to escape. On the flip-side of that however, it wasn't as if he had a choice. He didn't know how long he would take to heal, and maybe Haru's help would speed things up a little. He would have to take things as they came, little by little, to him.

But that still didn't explain why Haru had up and left. 

They had been talking about what he ate, and all of a sudden Makoto had a horrible thought. 

_What if Haru though I was going to eat him?!_

The idea was repulsive. Makoto's hunting skills were nothing to sniff at but the thought of using them to hurt another person made the bile rise in his throat. Although as he looked down at his battered body, he supposed he couldn't really blame Haru for thinking so considering their size difference. 

That had been another surprise. After all the horror stories he had heard he hadn't expected humans to be so _tiny_. 

Lost in his thoughts, he only heard the splashing from the cave mouth as Haru walked back in to him.

The tide was coming in now and Haru frowned as he waded through the deeper water. Makoto barely noticed as the smell he brought with him flooded his senses. 

“I brought fish,” He announced as he let down his burden with a huff by Makoto's head.

He lost his tongue for a moment as he gazed down at the beautiful, glistening meal before him. Haru had brought it in strange hollow human containers and scent was divine. His mouth flooded with water as he acknowledged just how hungry he was for the first time in three days.

“...Is this okay?” 

Makoto blinked out of his daze and realised Haru was staring at him worriedly. 

He couldn't hold back the smile that he gave him.

“It's perfect, Haru, thank you!” He gushed. 

The human turned away from him, cheeks red and prodded something in the water with his feet. It looked like a large fish's egg case but as Haru bent down and ripped it open, Makoto wrinkled his nose at the scent. Whatever was inside was definitely not an egg. Haru noticed his reaction and scooped out some of the case's insides. A small pile of grainy brown powder was cupped on his palm and smelled a little bit like fish. 

“It's made out of the parts of fish we don't use,” He explained letting it drop back in the case, “You don't have to eat it, but it's there if you want it... Is this enough?” He asked suddenly, eyebrows drawing together.

“Of course,” Makoto lied. He already knew it was far under what his daily intake should be, especially now that he was injured but that vague worry for the human had come creeping up on him again and he hoped he hadn't gone to too much trouble to get even this much food.

Haru stared at him like he was deciding whether to believe him or not but let it go with a nod. He looked to the cave mouth then, and Makoto got ready to dig in.

Then he remembered his manners. 

“Haru,” He called him softly and, when he turned back to him, tipped one of the strange containers towards him, “Would you like some?”

The human's eyes grew impossibly wide, flickered between Makoto and the fish, before he turned away again suddenly, his shoulders shaking.

Makoto panicked a little, wondering if he had committed some human faux pas, before he caught the hint of a grin Haru couldn't quite hide. 

The human was laughing. 

Makoto felt a little proud of himself.

Eventually Haru calmed down and turned back to him. His smile was gone but his eyes were bright.

“I'm fine, but thanks,” Then he looked outside again to where the sun had dipped under the horizon and its last rays of light were slowly dying, “Actually I should probably go.”

He looked like he didn't really want to.

“But you'll be back,” Makoto said, both to confirm the fact and hopefully to see that smile again.

Haru just nodded however, and made sure he had what he needed before heading to the front of the cave. He paused there and looked back to Makoto.

“I'll bring more fish if I can, and more bandages, just remember what I told you,” He called.

“I'll keep it dry,” Makoto assured him. 

Haru hovered at the edge of the cave mouth for a moment longer, staring at the sea, mouth half-open. 

Eventually he spoke.

“Goodnight, Makoto.”

Then he was walking away. Makoto smiled at his retreating back.

“Goodnight, Haru,” He whispered.

He was still scared, and still hurt, his life and the lives of his family were still in danger, but for the first time since the storm, Makoto allowed himself to feel a touch of happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boy, okay this took way way longer than it should have and I apologise. 
> 
> of course the second I finish college work and find myself incapable of writing. typical.
> 
> regardless thank you for the patience, here is your late christmas gift. or early new years gift. do people do new years gifts?
> 
> actually this chapter was planned to have another school scene in it but Haru's bullying and Makoto's thoughts got away from me. 
> 
> as always, thank you for reading.
> 
> remember to hit me up at redalfa.tumblr.com


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Haruka gets frustrated in bed, the wonderful world of mathematics is explored and a familiar face makes a reappearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay author's notes go at the beginning this time, because I would like to take a moment to issue an apology.
> 
> It has been over a month since I have updated, and that is just not on.
> 
> Like, I have my excuses, this is a hobby, and I do have other more important priorities, but I am not happy with having left it so long without updating and I'm sure you were not happy to wait. 
> 
> Unfortunately, updates will probably still be slow, but I'm promising both myself and you that a month is my limit.  
> There is still a lot of this story to tell, and I intend to see it through!
> 
> Also, the original idea for this chapter got too long-winded, because I can't be loquacious to save my life, so it has been split into two. But hey! More to read, right?
> 
> Thank you for your patience and support, and, as always, you can come complain at me @ redalfa.tumblr.com/

Makoto, Haruka realized later, was probably lying about how much he needed to eat. 

The realization came to him long after he had left the beach and returned home. All throughout his long bath and his small dinner, he ran their conversation through his head over and over again, lingering on different aspects of it each time. How softly Makoto had called his name, his shy questions, and the quiet ease that had settled between as they spoke echoed in his mind all throughout the evening. It was only after he went to get into bed however that he wondered about how much food the merman would actually need everyday. 

Hauling three teeming buckets of day-old fish along with the heavy canvas bags of meal Kujikawa-san had given him had seemed like more than enough when he had had to drag them across three beaches and over several teetering piles of stone. He had nearly gone careening down the craggy rocks more than once under the weight. When he got to the cave, however, and unloaded his burden it had seemed like nothing compared to the merman's bulk. 

Not that Makoto had been ungrateful. How wide his eyes grew when Haruka had dumped the buckets by his head had been testament to how hungry he must have been, and his thank you was embarrassingly profuse. Haruka had had to turn his face away from him to hide his blush. 

Makoto hadn't helped by being polite enough to try and share his meal. All Haruka could think of when remembering it was how he had tipped the bucket in Haruka's direction and looked up at him with small hopeful half-smile, his big, green eyes bright and encouraging. His voice had been soft, and when Haruka recalled it lying in bed, he couldn't help a smile from growing on his face again, taken aback by how genuine the offer was.

It was very distracting. 

Haruka began to feel a bit irritated by how accommodating the merman was. If their situations were reversed, he knew _he_ certainly would be so polite. 

It only added to the feeling that he was being lied to about how much food was necessary. 

He let out a huff and rolled onto his side, wondering if there could be a way to work it out without Makoto's input. It wasn't impossible, he supposed, but it would take a lot of effort, not only to make sure he was able to get enough but also to make sure he could hide his real motivations from whoever he was getting it from. It was a good thing he had already decided Makoto was well worth it, no matter what it would take. He doubted, however, that everyone would be as obliging was Kujikawa-san had been. 

Before he went begging again though, he would need to figure out how much he needed to beg for. The obvious answer came to him a moment after he had thought of the problem but he still felt like groaning about it. 

And he had just gotten comfortable too. 

Haruka hauled himself out of bed and fumbled about his room, not bothering to turn the lights on. After ten minutes of groping around in the half-light, he finally found what he needed gathering dust under his writing desk. His laptop was over five years old, a gift from his parents before they had left Iwatobi. They insisted he have more than one way to contact them should the need arise. He glared at the bulky computer as he hauled it onto the bed and buried himself back under the duvet. 

_As if the phone wasn't bad enough,_ He groused internally. 

He nearly fell asleep again as it booted up but the little jingle the home screen played brought him back to his senses. It took ten more minutes for his internet browser to open, just long enough for his head to loll and for him to entertain deliriums of upgrading the machine. Thankfully his home page was the search engine so he at least didn't have to wait for that as well. 

Since asking Makoto himself was out of the question, Haruka had to work with what he already knew. Fortunately what he knew was what he had spent most of the afternoon working on. 

He typed ' _Orca_ ' into the search bar and hit enter. 

Thankfully, the laptop had now warmed up and was functioning at only a slightly lower-than-normal pace. The trade-off was that it was making a damn fine attempt at burning a hole in the duvet. The search engine brought up several pages but he was too tired to check any of them but the first result, an online encyclopedia. If he really got desperate, he could always look at them on the school computers another day. 

The encyclopedia entry was short enough, more of an overview of the mammals than anything else. Haruka knew not all of it would be relevant to Makoto but he figured even if one scrap of information helped this would have been worth his time. He got to the section on the animal's diet and read over it.

Then read over it again.

His eyes scanned the paragraph once more for good measure. 

Haruka slammed the laptop shut and collapsed back onto the bed. This time he didn't even bother to hold back his groan. 

He didn't know how much fish he had taken to the cave but it definitely hadn't been the killer whale's daily requirement of 277 kilograms.

At least he could confirm that the merman had been lying through his pointy teeth.  
Haruka dumped the laptop onto the floor and rolled onto his side. He didn't even know how much fish two hundred and seventy-seven kilograms was, never mind how he would get it, or bring it to Makoto in secrecy. 

Then again, he mused, maybe Makoto had a more human-like stomach? His torso was mostly human after all; perhaps ( _Hopefully,_ Haruka couldn't help but think) his food intake would be smaller then his size suggested.

He hiked the covers over his head and shut his eyes. Asking Makoto would have probably been the easier option than trying to work all this out with only his own head and a free-to-edit internet article. The merman was fairly amiable though. Maybe if he kept at it the next time they met, he could bully an honest answer out of him. 

His annoyance was clouded with worry. If Makoto hadn't been eating for the first few days he had been beached, what little Haruka had brought him couldn't have done much good. He didn't even know how many fish he had given him, never mind what they had weighed.

That was probably a good starting point. If he could figure out how much was in those three buckets, he could hazard a guess as to how much more he would need. 

Of course that meant he would have to figure out how much had been in those three buckets. 

He sighed into the folds of the duvet. 

He didn't have a head for numbers on the best of days and now, sleep-addled and irritated, he came to a final uncomfortable realization. It was his biggest pet peeve but in order to help Makoto, he was faced with no other option.

If he really wanted to do this, he would need help.

~~

"Now then, what can I do for you, Haruka-senpai?" 

Rei sat up straight and cleared his throat, focusing all of his attention on Haruka. Last night, while frustrated and sleepy, asking his underclassman for advice had seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea but with Rei's bright gaze pointed directly at him, Haruka was begin to lose his nerve.

He tried not to squirm before he spoke. They were eating lunch on the rooftop again, although it was only the two of them. Despite Haruka actually arriving on time, Nagisa had sprung up onto his feet as soon as he had walked though the door. He had raised his hand to his forehead to protect it from another pickled assault but Nagisa had just laughed. 

"Relax, Haru-chan!" He had said, "I have a far nicer surprise for you today!" 

And with only that as a greeting, he had bounded away from him and disappeared into the school building. Haruka could only stare after him and raise an eyebrow at Rei, who had looked far less surprised at his classmate's behaviour. Rei had let out a long sigh and explained that Nagisa had been bouncing off of the walls all morning. 

"Apparently something Nagisa-kun has been waiting for has arrived," He told him, "A package of some sort, I suspect, but when I asked him about it I was told if I knew it would only spoil his fun!”

He sniffed, offended that Nagisa could possibly accuse him of being a spoil-sport. 

“Can you believe that?” He opened his lunchbox with a sharp snap and began to eat moodily. 

Haruka actually could believe that. He could believe that Nagisa would know exactly which of Rei's buttons to press to make him huffy and stop asking unwanted questions.

What Haruka couldn't believe was his luck. He had know since last night, even before he formulated a plan, that he would need to separate Nagisa and Rei in order to ask for help. The less people that knew about his problems the better. He had braced himself for a long hard fight to drag the two apart for even ten minutes. He had even bought one of those cloyingly sweet cream pastries Nagisa loved from the cafeteria as a bribe. Braced for a overdrawn, annoying and loud resistance that he had estimated would last most of the lunch hour, Haruka found himself at a loss with his easy victory. 

In all honestly, he had only half-expected his plan to work at all. 

The chances of Nagisa's appetite overriding his curiosity were slim, and even if Haruka had succeeded in talking to Rei alone, Nagisa would have been sure to interrogate them both about the conversation afterward. Haruka had confidence he could maintain his own silence, but he doubted Rei could resist his classmate's badgering. 

Expect now Nagisa had run off without so much as a hello and Rei was sitting opposite him on the quiet rooftop in the prime positioning for questioning. If he pulled this off right, Nagisa never even needed to know they had had this conversation.

The only problem was he didn't know how to start. 

He had spent so much time this morning thinking of the Great Nagisa Distraction Scheme, he hadn't even begun to think of how to ask Rei about all of this. Rei would get as little information as possible of course. As much as Haruka knew he needed advice, he refused to risk exposing Makoto over it. In terms of planning the conversation though, that was about as far as he had gotten. 

Haruka suppressed a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, tugging at his bangs. He took his lunch out of his bag and stared at it. Even if he had been hungry, his appitite would have left him by now. 

“Haruka-senpai?”

He glanced up to see Rei watching him. He had stopped eating and was lowering his chopsticks slowly. His annoyance at Nagisa seemed to have passed, but a small line of worry now creased his forehead.

“Is... everything alright?” He asked.

Haruka looked up at him properly. If he was honest with himself, he didn't know Rei all that well, thinking of him more as Nagisa's friend-from-class then anything else. Haruka knew he was on the track team because it seemed to be all he would talk about apart from schoolwork and the physical impossibilities of some of Nagisa's wilder ideas. If everything went according to plan this afternoon, this would actually be their first one-on-one conversation.

But occasionally Rei had moments like these, with a quiet question, or a soft look on his face.

Usually they were directed at their mutual friend, and they were rare, but always genuine. Beneath the high-strung demeanor and frankly bizarre tastes he seemed to have, Haruka caught glimpses of a Rei he thought he would like to be friends with. 

It helped that the other boy had unknowingly given him the perfect prompt for the conversation they needed to have.

At this point, he _really_ couldn't believe his luck. 

“Rei,” He began, “I need your help.”

The effect was immediate. 

Rei turned bright red and actually jumped, letting his lunchbox fall off of his lap. He scrambled to catch it and tried to push his glasses up at the same time, resulting in a grain of rice getting stuck onto the frames. The look he gave Haruka was one of such utter shock, he couldn't help but be offended. He couldn't possibly have been reticent around Rei surely. 

“O-of course, Haruka-senpai!” He scrambled for everything at once, including words, “Whatever you- I didn't mean to imply- Anything I can-”

“Rei,” Haruka interrupted him, and began to regret the whole thing.

Rei froze for a moment, then began to sort himself out at a reasonable pace. After polishing his glasses and placing his lunch carefully beside him, he turned to look Haruka in the eye.

"Now then, what can I do for you, Haruka-senpai?"

“It's... homework. A math problem,” Haruka answered.

He hoped his improvisation skills were good enough to get him through the next few minutes.

“Homework?” Rei looked surprised at such a regular response, “Well, I would be happy to help, Haruka-senpai, but... you _are_ a year ahead of me, I'm not sure how much I can do...”

Haruka shook his head immediately, doubt was the last thing he needed. If he couldn't get through this quickly, he didn't know if he could get through it at all. 

“No, it's fine,” He tried to sound reassuring, “It's... revision from last year, so you'll know it I'm sure.”

Rei frowned slightly. 

“Forgive me for asking but... would it not be better for a classmate to help? N-not that I don't want to!” He stammered, “I just think it would be better if you asked someone who you know could really help you...” Rei trailed off and looked away a little shamefaced. 

Haruka tried not to sigh. They were getting nowhere slowly and he really didn't have the time or the patience for it. Nagisa wouldn't be gone forever, and he doubted his luck would hold out like this again. 

It was time for a more direct approach.

“I am,” Haruka told him, sitting up straight, “I know you can help. That's why I asked.”

It was a bit of a gamble to flatter Rei. He had seen Nagisa try it once or twice and watched as Rei had puffed out his chest and done exactly as Nagisa had wanted, thinking that he was displaying his own talents. When Haruka had accused him of bullying, Nagisa had assured him that he used this power sparingly and only for the greater good. 

The ''greater good'' being his own whims, of course.

But Haruka wasn't as close to Rei. If he took this the wrong way, Haruka might have ruined the only chance he had to get his answers, and Rei would be sure to complain to Nagisa about him. Nagisa would prod and poke, and ask all the right questions to get under his skin. The whole charade would blow sky high, and the fallout would hurt Makoto more than him. 

These thoughts whirled around Haruka's head and made him nauseous. If he had ruined this opportunity, he would never forgive himself. 

He worked up the courage to drag himself away from these thoughts and took a glance at Rei. 

He had nothing to worry about.

Rei was looking at him with bright eyes and something akin to awe on his face. He fiddled with his glasses and looked away when Haruka caught his eye, but he couldn't quite hide the smile growing on his face. He took a small, steadying breath and looked to him again. 

“Haruka-senpai... I appreciate that,” He said quietly, “I know we don't know each other very well but I- that is to say...”

Haruka raised an eyebrow curiously, but it seemed to make him lose his nerve.

“W-Well then, let's begin!” Rei exclaimed, a little too loudly, “If you'll take out your book and copy, Haruka-senpai?”

He began rustling through his bag for scrap paper but paused when he noticed Haruka wasn't moving. There was a moment of silence before the older boy shrugged. 

“I don't have the book with me.”

Rei's bright expression crumpled. 

“... but I remember the problem I was stuck on,” Haruka amended, kicking himself for not thinking this through better. 

“Ah well, that's alright then!” Rei's implied _'I suppose'_ seemed louder what he had actually said. 

Haruka ignored it and began. 

“I have three buckets; two are full of fish and one is three-quarters full. I need to figure out how much all of the fish weigh,” He hoped he sounded academic enough to pull this off.

Rei, apparently, thought he did, and immediately began taking notes. 

“Alright,” He murmured, keeping his head down as he wrote, “And what values have been given?”

“Values?”

Rei looked up and nodded.

“Values,” He repeated, “Like the weight of the buckets when empty, how much each individual fish weighs, how many fish there are and how many fit in each bucket, that sort of thing.”

Haruka thought for a moment.

“Each fish weighs 200 grams by itself,” He confirmed. 

Kujikawa used the same bait fish as every other local fisherman, including Sasabe, and Haruka had spent had spent enough long evenings on the _Big Catch Sasa_ preparing the little silver fish to know how much each of them weighed. 

Rei jotted it down swiftly. 

“There was about eighty fish in both of the full buckets,” He continued. 

His guess was a bit of a shot in the dark. In all honesty, Haruka wasn't sure of any of the exact numbers involved in this and that was beginning to worry him. If he estimated too high a number, the end result could be a demand for food he couldn't possibly hope to supply. If he estimated too low, Makoto would starve. 

Rei was now mumbling more to himself than Haruka, bent almost in half over the page.

“200 by 80 is... divided by four,” His pencil scribbled furiously on the page, “...that's 60, by 200 again... add them...”

Suddenly he whipped his head up and beamed. Haruka leaned back a bit.

“There is precisely 44 kilograms of fish distributed among the three buckets!” He declared triumphantly.

Haruka did his very best to not let his dismay show. 

_Is that all?!_

Either he did a good enough job of it, or Rei was too enamored in his own deductions to notice, but he didn't respond to the increasingly sour look growing on Haruka's face.

He was angry with himself for not taking something like this into account from the beginning but he couldn't help but feel like Makoto was to blame as well. Whether or not he was too scared or too polite to ask for a proper amount of food didn't matter. He was getting an earful the next time Haruka saw him. 

Rei's voice interrupted his ire and he focused back onto him. 

“Sorry, what?” 

“I asked what was next, Haruka-senpai. What is the next part of the problem?” Rei said.

Haruka blinked.

“That's it,” He said, confused.

“That's it?” Rei parroted, sounding equally confused. 

They both glanced down to Rei's notes at the same time, and Haruka felt his face go hot. In Rei's neat hand-writing was the addition and multiplication that he had used to work out their solution in under five minutes. It looked so simple laid out on paper, a child could have probably done it in the same time-frame. 

Haruka couldn't look at Rei as he spoke. 

“That's... only one part,” He mumbled, trying to spare himself further embarrassment, “I have the rest of the question done, I just... got stuck...” He trailed off, and glared at the ground. 

_I must look like an idiot,_ He thought viciously.

When he finally raised his head again, Rei was watching him with eyes full of a strange comprehension, like he had finally figured out a harder puzzle than the one Haruka had presented him with.

Then he smiled.

“I understand, Haruka-senpai,” He said as he held out the scrap of paper, “If you need help with something like this again... Please, let me know.”

Haruka couldn't shake the feeling that something in their conversation had gone over his head. 

Still, he nodded.

“Sure,” He took the paper and put it into his bag, “And thanks, you've really helped.”

Rei's smile grew bigger, and again Haruka thought that Rei was certainly someone he could be friends with. 

As if on cue, the quiet moment was destroyed by Nagisa charging back onto the roof, breathless and grinning wildly.

“S-sorry we're late!” He huffed trying to get his breath back, “H-had to sneak around so we wouldn't be caught, it took forever!” 

He collapsed in a heap by Rei and directed his grin at the two of them.

“Hope you didn't get too lonely!” He laughed.

“We were just fine, thank you,” Rei sniffed, putting on an offended air again, although it was obviously to Haruka how fake it was. “And seeing as how you have graced us with your presence once more, perhaps you can inform us as to what you ran off for in the first place.”

Nagisa turned to him with a pout.

“Rei-chan, don't be mad,” He whined, rubbing his head against Rei's arm, “This was really really important to me!”

That got Rei's attention and he immediately dropped his facade. Even Haruka sat up a little straighter.

“What is it?” He asked cautiously.

Nagisa turned to him, looking incredibly pleased with himself.

“I've been trying to sort this out for ages, Haru-chan,” He told him gleefully, “But things always got in the way, times didn't suit him, didn't suit us, big workloads,"He suddenly effected a deeper voice, " _'some of us actually do important shit with our lives, Nagisa'_ , yadda yadda yadda... But today, I finally got the message I've been waiting for, set the time, and here he is!”

“Who?” Rei asked, forehead creasing in worry. 

Haruka shared his sentiments.

“HEY!” Nagisa suddenly screeched, leaning sideways to yell at the door leading down off of the roof, “YOU CAN COME UP NOW!”

The door swung open and the person on the other side strode through, giving Nagisa an unimpressed look.

“No need to yell at me,” He grumbled, “Don't see what all the noise you are making is for either...”

Nagisa tutted.

“I would have thought _you_ of all people who appreciate a dramatic flare,” He teased.

“What the hell is that supposed to-?! Ugh, forget it,” The visitor let it go with an ill grace then grinned at Rei, “Hey, it's been a while, glad to see this guy hasn't driven off the deep end yet.” He jerked a thumb towards Nagisa as he approached them.

Rei laughed politely.

“It's good to see you as well,” He greeted him, “And I'm just about holding on,” He added, throwing a look to Nagisa, who immediately complained about everyone ganging up on him, and how they should both be a lot more grateful for his generous actions. 

The visitor rolled his eyes at their banter then turned to Haruka. 

Haruka was frozen in place. This was the last thing and the last person he expected to see today and he wasn't sure if he was quite ready to handle him. He sat up straight and braced himself mentally. 

The afternoon had already taken its toll on his mind, he needed to be as headstrong as necessary.

“Rin,” He greeted the visitor quietly.

The sun was blinding against Rin Matsuoka's white uniform as he gave Haruka a sharp grin.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Rin looked back to him with eyes that still caught the last rays of the sun. He took a deep breath like he was preparing to dive and nodded to himself, affirmatively._
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> _“Nanase, swim the relay with me.”_
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> In which the past not a happy place to revisit, and in which the present may be even worse.

_The parking lot was quiet._

_Waiting until their hovering parents had ushered the other children into their cars and sped off with them had been a good idea. He peered out from the side of the bike rack and saw that they were almost all gone. Ideally he would have liked to wait a little longer, but his knees were getting sore from squatting out of sight of the front door of the building and his grandmother would never let him hear the end of it if he came home after dark._

_Still, he reckoned he had waited for long enough. It was probably safe to move. He led his bike out of the shelter of the covered rack and steadied it, getting ready to swing his leg over the seat._

_A piercing cry shattered the silence of early evening._

_“Nanase! Hey Nanase! Wait up, wait up!”_

_Haruka's grip on the handlebars tightened and, despite himself, he froze where he was._

_Rin Matsuoka was hurdling towards him, letting the swim club's doors swing shut in his wake._

_“There you are!” Rin called, panting slightly, “I thought I had lost you for sure!”_

I should be so lucky, _Haruka thought viciously._

_The setting sun glinted off of Rin's damp hair and he gave Haruka a huge smile as he drew level with him._

_“I gotta talk to you! We're walking home together anyway, right?” Rin asked in a bright, happy way that let Haruka know he wasn't being given a choice in the matter._

_He turned his head away in lieu of an answer and started walking his bike out of the lot, Rin easily keeping pace beside him._

_As they made their way along the meandering path, Haruka swallowed his annoyance and tried to tune out Rin's aimless chattering. If anyone ever tried to get the truth from him they would fail, but to himself at least Haruka could admit that he didn't actually dislike Rin. He was one of the few people to would talk to him at the swim club, and his love for the water was_ almost _a match for his own. Rin was the only person to spark his interest in the club at all, after his parents had forced him to join. He was passionate in a way Haruka had never seen in a person before, he put everything he had into everything he did, and manage to light that bright, bold flame in the people around him as well._

_Of course, that was also what was so bothersome about him._

_Rin seemed to put all of that crackling energy into pestering Haruka from the moment he stepped through the club's doors until he manage to shake him off halfway home in the evenings. If he wasn't trying to get him to comment on his diving technique, or time his laps, he was demanding a race. These demands were loud, aggressive and, no matter how many times Haruka said no, unceasingly optimistic. It was how Rin greeted him at the start of the lesson, and his final plea before they stepped into the showers afterwards. Haruka didn't know why the other boy was so insistent on racing him, and only him, but each time he asked only made Haruka refuse him a little louder. If Rin thought he was an unstoppable force, Haruka was determined to be an immovable object._

_Which was why Rin had to jostle his shoulder for his attention as they crossed the bridge at a snail's pace._

_“Nanase!” He whined, “Pay attention! This is important!”_

_He turned reluctantly to give him the blankest look he could pull off._

_“It's about Hazuki,” Rin elaborated, glaring like he couldn't believe Haruka had dared to not listen in the first place._

_Haruka let his guard down a little. Nagisa was a safe enough topic he supposed._

_The younger boy had more pep and zest in his pinkie finger then Haruka had in his whole body, but unlike Rin, his wasn't a competitive fervour. Rather, he seemed to push what he had into keeping up with his older friends, improving his swimming as best he could whenever he was in the water, and making everyone around him laugh as loud as possible (or in Haruka's case, to turn his head away so no-one would catch the amused glint in his eye) outside of it._

_Nagisa was one of the youngest in the club and, if he did indeed feel as nervous about this fact as Haruka suspected, he buried it under his plethora of bright, relentless attempts to make Haruka and Rin like him._

_Haruka thought that he needn't have bothered. Nagisa was already a sweet kid in his estimation, if a little loud and grabby at times._

_Rin seemed to be of the same opinion, as he now rambled on about Nagisa's breaststroke as they crossed over the old train-tracks._

_“...And his arms always seem to get longer when he reaches the end of his lap, have you noticed that?”_

_Haruka found his attention drifting again even as he nodded._

_“We ought to do something for him! To encourage him more, you know? We're his knowledgeable upperclassmen after all!” Rin preened, puffing his chest out and nodding sagely._

_Haruka couldn't hold back a quiet snort._

_Rin's head drifted upward slowly and he folded his arms behind it, letting his gaze trail across the orange evening sky. The setting sun sparked off of something in his eyes and they looked like they had been lit from the inside._

_“Yeah, it would be good...” He mused to himself , “Especially since I'm leaving soon.”_

_Haruka's grip on the handlebars tightened. When Rin had announced that he would be moving to Australia once the term was over several weeks ago, something dark and prickly had lodged itself in Haruka's throat, and popped back up again every time the departure was mentioned. He couldn't speak through it, and refused to think about the cause of it. He had hoped ignoring it would make it stop, but every time Rin so much as alluded to leaving, it choked him again._

_Haruka turned his head away from him, glaring at nothing and pretend not to understand the tension that was building in his body._

_Rin, with his neck craned up, didn't notice and plowed on with his idea._

_“So, you agree right?” He chirped, “That we should do something with Hazuki?”_

_Haruka shrugged, his inclination to help their younger friend suddenly snuffed out._

_Rin looked back to him, ignoring his lukewarm response and with eyes that still caught the last rays of the sun. He took a deep breath like he was preparing to dive and nodded to himself, affirmatively._

_“Nanase, swim the relay with me.”_

_Haruka brought the bike to a jarring standstill._

_There it was._

_This was why Rin had ambushed him after practice, this was why he had led the conversation with the seemingly safe topic of Nagisa. He tried not to grind his teeth together as he turned back to him._

_Ever since their swim coach had announced that a swimming tournament would be held the day before Rin emigrated, he had been enchanted by the notion of the relay, and his demands for Haruka to swim against him had taken a back seat to the plea for Haruka to swim for him._

_In a way, it was worst than Rin asking for a race. The thought of not only not swimming free but of having to depend on other people and have them depend on him made Haruka feel heavy and unbalanced. He had to put his foot down on this once and for all._

_“Rin,” He began,“I've told you a hundred times; I only swim fr-”_

_“Yeah, yeah,” Rin interrupted, flinging his hands in the air, “ 'I only swim free', you're like a broken record! It's just one race!”_

_“So find someone who wants to race,” He spat back at him._

_“We would make the best team! Everyone says so,” Rin insisted, trying a different tactic._

_“You were complaining to Coach about how all the backstrokers are no good, there is no team,” He countered._

_“We'll find someone! Three out of four isn't bad!”_

_Haruka just huffed._

_“Hazuki wants to swim with you!” Rin claimed._

_“He'll live.”_

_“Don't be so stubborn!”_

_“Speak for yourself.”_

_“Well, what about me huh?” Rin cried, whirling around to glare at him, “All I want is to race with you once, and after the tournament, it'll be too late! I'll be gone, and it's like you don't even care!!”_

_The cold, prickly feeling in Haruka's throat was swelling up and choking him. Rin's accusation felt like a blow to his chest, and he turned his head away, staring into the dying light._

_“I don't,” He lied._

_He didn't turn to see the look of sheer hurt burst onto Rin's face as he swung a leg over the bike and hauled himself onto it. He heard Rin take a breath as if to speak and then heard him let it out again in a spent sigh. He pedaled away as fast as he could, a dense silence ringing in his ears and the evening sky quickly darkening above his head._  
~~

 _I really was a terrible little kid,_ Haruka mused as he ate his lunch.

He didn't really like thinking about the past.

He didn't see any point in it. The past was crowded, full of the sticky, cloying sort of memory that was all too easy to get mired in, and he held no desire to get lost. It was populated by those who had left him, both by choice and by inevitability, and remembering them made a dark, heavy sadness bloom in his chest and cloud his mind.

He preferred to keep his head firmly in the present, without reflection or forethought intruding on his quiet bubble of everyday life.

He was finding it difficult to do that however, when a stark shard of the past was sitting right next to him, complaining loudly about how messy its room-mate was.

It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see Rin. If anything, his visit had certainly made the day a lot more interesting than expected. This was the first time he had actually seen him since they had met when he had moved back to Japan. 

That meeting had been odd in itself. To begin with, Haruka and Nagisa had only found out that Rin was back in the country when Nagisa had bumped into his sister in one of the hallways of their own school, and even then, it was only Nagisa's constant pestering of Gou that made her finally give in and give him the address of Rin's school.

It was not a meeting Haruka had wanted to go to. Even thinking about Rin made him feel guilty and even now he could never shake the image of a bright twelve-year old's insistent begging for him to take part in a relay (which he never did) or his constant demands for a race (which he agreed to only once on a freezing winter's day the first year of middle school, a memory he still refused to acknowledge). 

Even Nagisa's threats to never speak to him again if he didn't come with him to Samezuka wouldn't change Haruka's mind, and it was only Gou's offhanded mention of the size of the boarding school's pool that swayed him.

When they finally saw each other again outside of Samezuka's sports hall, five years after their last meeting, Haruka had no idea what to expect and it was clear from the look on Rin's face when he spotted them that he didn't either. 

And as they looked at each other over Nagisa's head, a flash of something dark and hard flitted across Rin's expression before he settled into a surprised grin that didn't quite meet his eyes. 

Ever since then, as Gou gave him updates on her brother's business or as Nagisa's regaled him with the tale of how he introduced Rin and Rei (“...and then they both just fell straight into the bay Haru-chan, you should have seen their faces!”), or when Rin himself sent him the occasional text, Haruka couldn't shake the feeling that no-one quite knew the whole truth of Rin's absence.

And even though he was on his school's team, Rin never mentioned swimming and Haruka never asked. 

Now as he sat beside him, that awkward tension creeping up his spine was stronger than ever. Even as kids, Rin had shunted Haruka out of his comfort zone, but where this could be invigorating when they were younger, it now made him uneasy, like he was bracing himself for a blow. 

As he watched his friends chatting casually however, Nagisa swinging his hands around as he told a story, Rei leaning forward to listen, and Rin with his arms slung behind his head lazily, he was beginning to wonder if he was paranoid. 

“Huh? You can't swim?!”

Rin's cry startled him out of his thoughts. Rei had turned bright red, and Nagisa was looking far too thrilled with himself.

“Can we please not have this conversation again?” Rei moaned.

“Sure!” Nagisa chirped, “We can stop talking about it when you can swim!” 

Rei moaned louder while Rin turned to Haruka baffled.

“This guy seriously can't swim?” He asked, jerking a thumb towards Rei.

Haruka nodded.

“It's a tragedy,” They saw eye-to-eye on some things at least.

Nagisa laughed at the various sounds of distress Rei was making, then suddenly whirled around to Rin with a stern expression.

“Actually, that is part of why I brought you here today, Rin-chan,” He confined to him like he was imparting a great secret, “Rei-chan needs help in the worst way and your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to help me and Haru-chan provide that help. Gentlemen!” Nagisa sat up straight and raised his arm, pointer finger raised to the sky, “Come Summer break, we are teaching Rei-chan to swim!”

A moment of awed silence followed his declaration.

Then Rin started cackling.

“Alright, alright, you know what?” He choked out in between chuckles, “Sounds fun, I'm in! Prepare to learn, Glasses!”

“Rin-san, please!” Rei protested, “Be reasonable about this, I'm sure you would all be fine teachers but with an unwilling pupil I'm afraid you won't get very far!”

“Rei-chan, c'mon,” Nagisa whined, butting his head against Rei's shoulder, “You'll have fun, I promise!”

“That is not the issue, Nagisa-kun, I-” Rei rounded on Haruka suddenly, sheer desperation in his eyes, “B-besides, Haruka-senpai thinks I'm unsuited to learn! Don't you, Haruka-senpai?”

Haruka thought about that, thought about how Rei had helped him, and his new-found friendship with the younger boy. He cleared his throat and put a hand on Rei's shoulder.

“Don't be afraid Rei,” He said, a sparkle in his eye, “If you accept it, the water will embrace you.”

Rei sustained his strained smile for a moment longer before throwing his head back and clutching it despairingly.

“THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SSSSAAAAYYYYY!” He wailed as Nagisa and Rin burst into helpless laughter.

The school bell droned over their cacophony.

Nagisa stopped laughing and let out a little wail himself. 

“Aww, already? Sorry Rin-chan, lunch is nearly over and me and Rei-chan have to change for P.E,” He explained sadly, draping himself over him. 

“No sweat,” Rin shrugged him off, “Text me later so we can arrange the drama queen's swimming lessons,” He smirked and threw a wink at Rei who, already flustered and hastily stuffing his lunch into his bag, squawked and stumbled as he stood, grabbing Nagisa's wrist.

The blond boy yelled a cheery goodbye at them and waved over his shoulder as Rei dragged him off the roof. Silence followed in their wake as the door slammed shut behind them.

That creeping tension coiled through the air, and Haruka had to stomp down the urge to pull and loosen his necktie.

“You going to class?” Rin asked him eventually.

He shrugged. 

“Probably should, I need to do good in the Summer exams.”

“Ugh, then what am I supposed to do?” Rin grumbled.

The tension was quickly bleeding into annoyance.

“Go to _your_ classes,” Haruka suggested bitingly.

“Nah,” Rin shrugged again, “I already know I'll be fine for the tests.”

Haruka had no more suggestions for him. He wasn't surprised exactly. Rin had always excelled academically as well as athletically.

The silence thickened between them again and Rin slumped against the wall he was leaning against, face souring.

“It's too hot...” He mumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“Don't you have swim club later?” Haruka asked, not looking at him.

Rin snorted loudly.

“It's not a club, its a team, and Captain _Mikoshiba,_ ” He sneered around the name, “Ordered a cool-off period just before the exams because half the team are good for swimming and nothing else apparently. He says if we don't do well in them, we'll be cut. It's such a pain, I'm a smart guy, I'll be fine! Why do I have to suffer because everybody else is a dumbass?”

Rin groused for a few minutes more about the unfairness of it all before settling down again.

“I'll probably swim anyway,” He said quietly.

Haruka brought his knees up to his chest, hunched over them and stared at some far-off point on the horizon. Rin was certain he had lost his interest several minutes ago.

He stared at Haruka and thought.

“Yeah,” He said a little louder, “It'll be nice actually, having that huge, empty pool all to myself. No-one around but me and the water.”

Rin held his breath a moment more before Haruka turned to look at him, a bright glint in his eye.

He grinned sharply.

_Hook, line and sinker._

~~

Samezuka's pool was Olympic-sized, kept at constant cool temperature and absolutely breathtaking. 

Haruka had whipped his shirt off the second he got into the room and his trousers soon followed as he stripped down to his jammers and dove straight in, Rin's screeches about how the dressing room was literally ten feet away from him falling on deaf ears.

He would miss a hundred classes, fail every exam, if he could have a pool like this to himself on a regular basis. The pool at the local gym which his meager wages went towards paying the membership for was nice enough sure, but far smaller, outdoors and always full of other people. 

He glided through the water, letting the silky liquid rush over him as he went along.

This was what it was all about. What made everything else, his lousy job, his empty house, his noisy peers, worth putting up with. Just this bliss of feeling the water holding him up, and embracing him. It smoothed out the everyday wrinkles of his mind and every time he dove in felt like coming home. It couldn't imagine what his life would be like without this sensation, without this precious fluid that enriched him body and soul.

_Makoto must miss it._

Haruka stopped swimming and flipped over to float on his back. The thought had come out of nowhere but now that it had arrived it was not leaving him any time soon. If this was how _he_ felt about the water, he could only begin to imagine how hard it must be for a creature who was born in it to be stranded on land. The image of Makoto huddled in the shallows of that cave that confined him bloomed in his mind and Haruka felt his resolve solidifying all over again. His talk with Rei had left him frustrated but with the answers he had gotten, at least he wasn't completely clueless now. He would get Makoto back to full health, no matter what it took, and he would get him into the water again. A warm feeling spread in his chest and he let out a content sigh as he drifted. No-one ought to be deprived of this, he couldn't help but think. 

He sensed ripples in the water to his right and concluded that Rin must have finally joined him. He waited for their impact, or for the red-head to hustle over to his side but, to his credit, Rin started with a few warm-ups laps rather than crowding Haruka's space. After what seemed like an age of weightless floating and listening to Rin's rhythmic splashes, he turned back onto his front and completed a lap at the same time as Rin. They held on to the edge of the pool as they waited for their breath to come back. 

“Your form is still pretty good,” Rin commented after a moment, still panting lightly, “Iwatobi High doesn't have a swim team right?”

Haruka shook his head, as much to get the drops off of it as to answer Rin's question.

“Why not make one then? We could face off properly for once!” Rin laughed.

Haruka turned his face away.

“Too much effort.”

He heard Rin sigh and continued before he could say anything else.

“Besides, I only swim free.”

The other boy scoffed loudly.

“Oh c'mon, you're still going on about that? Geez... you're hopeless.”

Rin pulled himself out of the pool with a sigh and dangled his legs in the water, staring down pensively. Haruka wanted to push off from the wall, and submerge himself again but Rin's question had needled him just as badly as it had when Nagisa had asked him the same thing the day they saw each other again in high school. It was a sticky question with a big, messy answer and it held him in place even if he refused to address it completely. 

In the quiet of both of their contemplations, Rin caught his eye.

“Haru...” His voice was soft, “Race me.”

Haruka froze outright. 

He must have heard him wrong, there must be water in his ears, clogging his system. There was no possible way Rin could be asking for a race now, not after what had happened the last time they had. 

Their last race, their only race, happened in the middle of the winter of their first year of middle school, the first time Haruka had seen Rin since he had left for Australia. They had walked along the snowy traintrack and Rin had half-joked about asking him for a race for old times sake. 

And whatever the reason, a combination of missing his friend and the stir-craziness of not being able to swim in Winter, Haruka had said yes. 

They dragged their old coach to the club. 

They raced.

Haruka won, and Rin wept.

And as the other boy vowed to never swim again, tears choking him, Haruka's heart burned.

He promised himself he would never hurt a friend like that again, and he couldn't help but glare at Rin now for trying to make him. Haruka didn't dare believe he had forgotten his own pain so easily.

“That's not a good idea, Rin,” He said firmly. 

Rin just kept staring for a moment. His face was unreadable and Haruka felt that unpleasent tension creeping up on him again. 

Then Rin Matsuoka had the nerve to laugh.

“Woah-ho-ho, man, you look so serious!” He smirked, “What, are you thinking about the last time or something? It won't end that way again, I can promise you that!”

Haruka looked away.

“...oh my God, you are actually thinking about middle school aren't you?” Rin balked, “Geez, Haru that was five years ago! You aren't still hung up about that are you?”

Haruka glared at him again.

“Aren't you?” He mumbled.

Rin started cackling again.

“Of course not! I was a stupid overdramatic twelve-year old, and hell, it's not like I went through with that dumb promise, you know? Don't sweat it.”

Haruka looked him straight in the eye. Rin smile was broad and toothy, and he wasn't really that accustomed to it yet as to guess whether or not it was forced. He couldn't help but think it was.

On the other hand, what if he was over-reacting? What if Rin was right, and he had blown the whole incident out of proportion? They had been only kids after all.

Instinct told him one thing, Rin told him another. He could find out the truth of the matter easily if he wanted, or he could ignore this and swim away from the wall.

Rin wasn't smiling anymore, only staring, waiting for an answer to his challenge. The air hung thick around him.

Haruka climbed out of the pool.

“Alright!” Rin crowed, “Let's do this!”

He tossed Haruka a swim cap and a pair of goggles from the duffle bag sitting on the tiles behind him and put on his own, snapping the strap of his goggles at the back of his head as he stepped onto the starting block.

Haruka mirrored his position as he took it up, and they both took a deep breath.

“One...” Rin called, “Two...”

Haruka heart-rate suddenly rocketed and he squeezed the edge of the diving board tightly. Time flowed slower for a handful of breaths.

“Three...!”

They dived and to Haruka it felt like soaring. The smooth glide of water was now crackling with an electricity he had only felt once before and his body was suddenly flooded with energy. His lazy strokes were now replaced with powerful, reaching ones. He stretched his arms as long as they would go, and kicked his legs as hard as possible, pushing his body as hard as he could. It was exhausting and revitalising at the same time. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this excited.

They hit the end of the lane and turned at the same time, neck in neck.

Haruka could feel Rin beside him, thrumming with energy, pushing himself just as hard as Haruka, and trying to inch ahead. There was a heat coming off of him, a consuming fire that was burning him up from the inside as he reached for the finish line.

Haruka realised two things at once. 

The first was that Rin was going to win the race. He was a trained athlete after all.

The second was that Haruka now had his answer, feeling Rin burning himself to win he now knew the truth. And he didn't like it. 

Rin slapped the wall with his open palm a full three seconds before Haruka, and they stood in the water wheezing for a full minute, trying not to pant too heavily.

Haruka pulled off the swim cap and tugged the goggles down around his neck. From the corner of his eye, he saw Rin do the same but he he refused to look at him fully.

“You won, congratulations,” He murmured. 

Rin said nothing but all of a sudden lunged forward and yanked at the goggles around Haruka's neck, dragging him towards him. Haruka finally looked at him, eyes wide. 

Rin did not look angry. Angry was too mild a word for it. His face was a mask of pure fury and Haruka swore his eyes were glistening with moisture. Rin was looking at him like he hated him, like he was responsible for every bad thing in his life, and Haruka's paranoid side couldn't help but feel a little vindicated. 

Then it was over. 

Rin let him go quickly and heaved his body out of the pool like took up the rest of his energy. Just as before, he sat up and let his feet fall back into the water and stared into it like it held the meaning of life.

Haruka let out a harsh breath. He placed a hand on the wall of the pool and saw that it was shaking. When he finally gathered enough strength to look at Rin again, he caught him staring at him. His face held the same look as it had the day they had finally met again, cold and hard, and so very, very tired. 

Looking him in the eye, Haruka realised that Rin wanted him to ask the question. To ask about what had just happened, to ask about why he demanded a race, to ask about what happened in Australia. Rin wanted to talk about these things, even if they hurt him, even though he was upset. 

Haruka opened his mouth but his small burst of courage from before had died out. Rin sat up a little straighter, waiting. 

Haruka would never know if it was anger or hurt that fell across his face, as he pushed away from the wall and dove back under the still-rippling surface.

~~

The half-moon hung low and shone too-bright in the night sky. 

Sparse clouds drifted over it occasionally, blocking out its beams but their thin cover was blown away quickly by the ocean breeze. It lit up the bay fully, its shine bouncing back off the mirror the still water made. 

Makoto flung his arm over his eyes with a grumble. He was never going to be able to sleep with the glare of moon on his face. Laying at the front of the cave with low tide lapping at his skin, he knew the obvious solution would be to just move back into the cool darkness behind him but the steady ache at the centre of his spine and sheer laziness urged him to stay still. Besides, when high tide flooded his little cove, he would be in the optimum position to soak in it. He slapped his fluke against the shallow water to try to get more of it onto his tail, but the splash barely reached above the waterline. 

Makoto wished he could roll over to wet his back but the slight pressure of the bandage he felt around his fin everytime he moved served to remind him of his promise to Haru, and his determination to keep it. 

As if the thought that he wanted to break that promise for a little relief had summoned him however, Makoto suddenly heard the sloshing of footsteps through water, accompained by the smell of the human he knew. 

Haruka rounded the sharp jagged rocks that bordered the cave, hauling two full buckets with him. Makoto grinned and raised a hand in greeting but Haruka plopped the buckets down in front of him and disappeared behind the ridge again.

Makoto frowned down at the fish, his appetite suddenly gone. 

Although he did have to admit that he had only known the human for a handful of days, what he knew still told him that Haruka wouldn't ignore him like that. He hadn't even looked at him by the time he was walking away again. Mild concern began to segue into panic, and his throat seemed to close up.

 _Did I do something wrong?,_ He thought frantically, _Is he alright? What happened to him?_

Before he could get himself worked up too badly, Haruka mercifully rounded the corner again, two more buckets weighing him down.

“Umm, Haru...” Makoto croaked, as he put them beside the others.

“Hush!” Haruka looked at him then sharply, “Just eat.”

He pointed to the buckets and walked away again. Makoto gave them a gloomy look and began to eat listlessly despite himself. He wasn't hungry anymore but he knew his body needed the energy at least. His head was beginning to ache as much as his fin.

He had gotten through one bucket and was half-way through the second when Haruka came back around the rocks for the last time, one more bucket, about three-quarters full, swinging from his hand. He put it with the rest and without warning slumped down beside them, sitting in the surf, heedless of how wet the bottom of his school trousers were getting, and glaring out at the sea. 

Makoto couldn't help but stare for a moment before turning back to his dinner. He polished off the second bucket, and decided enough time had passed that it was safe to speak again.

“Haru?” He ventured, “Is... everything okay?”

At first he thought he hadn't heard him, but then Haruka turned to him with the most unimpressed look Makoto had ever seen on another person.

“H-haru?”

“You lied to me,” Haruka said mildly, still glaring slightly.

“What? I-? What are you talking about?” He sputtered.

Haruka flicked a fingertip against one of the empty buckets and the sound echoed around the back of the cave. 

“Orcas need to eat 277 kilograms of fish a day,” He told him coolly.

Makoto took a moment to catch on, but when he did he smiled at Haruka indulgently. He was a very kind person even if he claimed otherwise, if a little too stubborn on occasion. Luckily Makoto already knew how to handle this before it got out of control.

“Haru,” He began, “I might share the colours and size of a killer whale but that doesn't make me one,” He chuckled softly and kept smiling, like he was speaking to a child, “You don't have to worry about me.”

He turned back to his meal to end the conversation, but Haruka stood up suddenly and moved right in front of his face before he could. Makoto flinched and smothered the urge to shuffle back a few inches. How someone so small could be so intimidating was beyond him.

Haruka stared him down, hands planted on his hips. 

“You can't make me,” He grumbled.

“Huh?”

“You can't make me not worry about you,” Haruka explained, “I'm going to worry whether you like it or not! Even if it isn't 277 kilograms, you haven't been eating as much as you need to, you aren't going to heal if you don't take care of your body, and I can't help you do that if you won't be honest with me!”

Makoto was frozen at the look on Haruka's face. He was not just irritated, but upset. Makoto could see it set in the twitch of his brow and in the corners of his frown. Some gut instinct told him that he wasn't the only thing Haruka was upset over. He put the feeling to one side to examine later, right now, he needed to assuage whatever of Haruka's worries that he could. 

“I... I've upset you, I'm sorry,” He sighed, “I'm not trying to keep things from you, or make it harder to help me, Haru, I just... This seems like so much from you,” He gestured to the buckets, gleaming in the moonlight, “I don't want to get you in trouble or put you out of your way for me...”

Haruka kept up his glare a moment more before turning his head to one side, pouting a little. He knew Makoto wasn't trying to be humble. He was being truthful with him now, he could tell. 

He turned back to him and flicked him on the forehead just like he had done with the buckets.

Makoto jumped.

“Ah! Haru!”

“Dummy,” Haruka said, shoulders slumping down a little, “It's no trouble, I can handle it. But you have to work with me, okay?” 

Makoto rubbed his forehead and pretended to glare but he couldn't keep up the facade for long and burst into a grin.

“Okay, Haru, I will.”

Haruka let out a long sigh and looked back out across the ocean. Makoto dragged one of the buckets towards his mouth but paused before eating. 

“Haru?” He called.  


Haruka made a small sound of acknowledgement.

“Are you alright?” He murmured, head down.

Haruka whirled back around for a moment, the upset from before still plain on his face before he faced away from him again.

“Why wouldn't I be?” He whispered to the expanse of sea in front of him. 

Behind him, Makoto held his tongue and Haruka couldn't describe how grateful he was for it.

The rising tide began swirling around his ankles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, it has been while huh? 
> 
> Again I owe you all an apology for the huge delay, but this time I actual don't feel as bad about it as before. 
> 
> I'm in my final year of college and I just finished up a very important project that I'm happy with so y'know I think I have my priorities straight. 
> 
> The good news for you guys is not only is this chapter longer than usual but I'm now on break so updates are going to come a lot quicker, fingers crossed!
> 
> This chapter was actual tough enough to write in and of itself as I don't think I have as good a grasp on Rin's character as I do on everyone else. 
> 
> Let me know what you think and, as always, thank you for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which ideas are executed and fortune does, in fact, favour the bold.

The two and a half weeks before the Summer exams began were some of the busiest days Haruka could ever remember having. 

Usually the heat of the season made him sluggish, uncomfortable and aching for the nearest body of water but with as much as he had to do, he barely even noticed the sun blazing above him.

The real work began when the problem of feeding Makoto finally came to a head. 

Haruka was honestly surprised that the windfall from Iwatobi's generous fishermen had lasted as long as it had, and even at that not everyone had been as giving or as incurious as Kujikawa had been. When he had first asked for the dregs of their day's catches, he had been regarded with amusement by some, suspicion by others and plain old confusion by most. There had been queries, of course, and the residents of town that were more familiar with Sasabe's practices, suspected that Haruka's employer was making him do more of his dirty work. 

He never did deny those particular accusations. 

However, as the days moved on and Haruka kept coming back for their scraps, he got less leftover fish and more loaded questions. By mid-week, he was actively avoiding the people he knew were more likely to ask them, but it wasn't until it was just over a week since he had first found Makoto in the secluded inlet that his luck ran out.

He had fallen into the habit of calling on the always-accommodating Kujikawa first, but on this particular evening the old man had nothing to give him, citing an unusually good haul earlier in the morning as way of an explanation for his lack of baitfish.

“I really am sorry, Nanase-kun,” He apologised again, looking genuinely forlorn at his uselessness.

Haruka assured him that it wasn't a problem. Kujikawa had been nothing but kind to him and it was off-putting to see the fisherman so downtrodden. 

Which was why when he suggested that Haruka should try asking Asougi who was docked a little further down the bay, Haruka had given him a firm nod and walked away acting like it was a good idea.

Asougi was, of course, one of the people Haruka had been trying to avoid. Not only had the stout sailor been one of the people to regard him with suspicion from the get-go, but he seemed to hate Haruka on the same principle that dictated that he hate everything in his immediate vicinity. Asougi was notorious with Iwatobi's fishermen for the range and depth at which he could complain about everything around him. 

If Haruka hadn't been so desperate, he would have just turned around and walked home instead. 

Asougi's boat was docked exactly where Kujikawa had said it would be, past a high outcropping of rock which blocked the sight of this small section of the docks off from the rest of it. Haruka approached it slowly and the second he saw him, Asougi began grumbling loudly.

“Ah, the mutt's come begging for scraps again! Can't you feed yourself, kid?!”

Haruka ignored him entirely until he was by the side of the schooner and peering up at him. He took a deep breath and began to rattle off his usual spiel.

“Asougi-san, do you have any-?”

“Oh no!” The suddenly red-faced man roared, “You think you can just slink around here and get your greedy little hands on whatever Sasabe wants! Well, I'll show you exactly what you can give that thieving bastard!”

Haruka stared disbelievingly as Asougi clambered down off of his boat's deck and began striding towards him huffing out cuss words and turning an alarming shade of scarlet. It wasn't until he was two scant metres away and he noticed the plastic walking stick in the old man's hand that Haruka's self-preservation kicked in. 

He turned tail and ran as quick as he could, Asougi screaming at him all the while.

As graceful and fast as he was in the water, Haruka was painfully aware that he did not possess these qualities on land. It was only Asougi's age and weight that kept him from catching Haruka, and even at that it had been too close a call for comfort.

Forty minutes later and still a little out of breath, he lay back on the warm sand and relayed this anecdote to Makoto, whose expression mirrored Haruka's own lingering disbelief.

“Haru... Gosh, I...” Makoto murmured after a full minute of shocked silence, “That's terrible, I'm so sorry.”

Haruka shrugged.

“Not your fault,” He told him.

Makoto gave him an odd look and rubbed the back of his neck, awkwardly.

“Well... technically it is, Haru...” He pointed out sheepishly.

Haruka propped himself up on his arms and stared at Makoto for a moment, before dipping his hand into the water playing at his ankles and tossing it at the merman.

“Haru!” Makoto sputtered with a smile on his face, “Don't do that!”

“Don't say stupid things then,” Haruka retorted.

Makoto scoffed in fake annoyance, and turned back to the food in front of him. 

In a fit of mild panic and the realisation that he had let himself get chased off of the beachfront entirely, Haruka had jogged back to his house and raided the fridge for anything remotely edible to bring to Makoto. 

Stuffed into the back of his freezer were several packages of raw meat which he had never touched and had had no plans to. They had been gifts from well-meaning neighbours, and he hadn't had the heart to waste them. 

He could part with them easily now, knowing they were contributing to a good cause.

It was not nearly as painless to deplete his stock of fish for the week, and as he put over half of the wax-paper bundles into the cooler bag at his feet he had to keep reminding himself precisely what that good cause was. 

In its entirely, his haul didn't even amount to half of what he had been getting for Makoto so far and he squashed the now-familiar guilt bubbling in his stomach before it could rise up and choke him. There was no time for it today. As an afterthought, he also packed up the small dinner he had made for himself that morning and threw it on top of everything else before heading back to the shore.

Makoto had been as grateful as always, tucking in immediately as Haruka told him the story of why he was later than usual, before stopping entirely to gape at him in disbelief.

Now that Haruka's tale appeared to be finished and Makoto was no longer liable to spew out any food morsels in shock, he continued eating. 

Haruka had been worried about giving him the raw beef and pork he had unearthed but he assured him that sea mammals frequented his menu alongside fish, and he seemed to enjoy the fact that the hunks of meat were still thawing, a cool contrast to the hot setting sun. 

Tired of talking, Haruka took out the lunchbox containing his own dinner. It wasn't until he took his first bite that he realised how hungry he was, and he ate quickly only putting down his chopsticks when he was over halfway through, when he felt rather then saw Makoto trying to peer over his shoulder.

Haruka turned to him with a raised eyebrow, the unspoken question obvious on his face.

“Oh! Um...” Makoto jerked back, “Sorry, I was just wondering...”

The other eyebrow joined its twin.

Makoto cleared his throat and pointed with a crooked finger to the lunchbox.

“What's that under your fish, Haru?” He asked.

Haruka lifted the the mackerel fillet with his chopsticks confused for a moment before he understood.

“Rice,” He said, turning back to Makoto, “It's a plant humans grow. Here.”

He picked up a large clump of rice and held it out to the merman. Makoto inched forward slowly and held his hand out, close to his chest. Haruka dropped the clump into the centre of his palm.

Makoto sniffed at it before raising it to his mouth. Haruka couldn't see him eat but it had looked like nothing in his hand and he wondered whether or not he could really taste it.

He got his answer a moment later when Makoto's jaw shook with the strain of trying not to scrunch it up. He swallowed heavily and gave Haruka a weak smile.

“It's, ah, interesting, Haru, you said humans make it?” He asked with a strain in his voice.

Haruka resisted the urge to smile. 

Although he had only known the merman for a scant eight days, he was beginning to understand him better than he thought Makoto knew. In this moment for instance, Haruka was well aware that he was only being polite to avoid offence. Either the taste of the rice disgusted him, he hadn't got a flavour from it at all, or the comparatively tiny grains had disagreed with his large throat. Whatever it was, he certainly didn't want to upset Haruka by letting him know. 

Makoto was too nice for his own good, Haruka had concluded, knowing now that it was part of his personality as opposed to a difference between species. 

It annoyed and amused him in equal measures, but tonight he decided to let Makoto get away with it. 

He could only splash him so many times after all. 

Makoto couldn't hide the look of relief that passed over his face as Haruka made an affirmative noise and then turned back to watch the surf roll in. 

They were laying in the sand of the enclosed inlet that they had met in. After only a week of rest, Makoto's injuries were nowhere near close to being healed, but under Haruka's watchful eye and half-remembered applications of first aid, he was at least able to move short distances without reopening his wounds. 

Makoto was eager to exercise his new-found mobility at every available opportunity and this was the second day in a row that Haruka had found him in the inlet instead of his cave. He had had to tell him more than once to take it easy. Not only was Makoto still unable to swim but too much strain could make his fin bleed again.

Haruka had been surprised at the difference a week had made, but even as relaxed as Makoto looked lounging on the warm sand, the stiff white cloth wrapped around his fin was a stark reminder that there was still a long way to go before Makoto could get back into open water. 

He sighed softly. Today's thrown-together meal had apparently sufficient if the content chewing sounds Makoto was making were anything to go by but with the supply of fresh fish now effectively cut off from them, tomorrow's menu was looking bleak.

Haruka covered up his unfinished dinner and put it back in the cooler bag before laying back down on the sand. Gazing into the sunset was making his head ache.

“We need an idea,” He said aloud, more to himself than Makoto.

The merman swallowed his last bite quickly anyway to respond.

I know you will have to avoid that rude old man,” Makoto said, “But what about the rest of your fish-catchers?”

Three days ago, Haruka had attempted to explain the concept of the fishing industry to him but he couldn't tell if Makoto had understood it as he had fallen into the habit of mixing up unfamiliar human words.

“No good,” Haruka told him, shaking his head, “Asougi will be screaming at everybody in earshot about what happened earlier and they were already asking too many questions before. It's too risky.”

“Hmm...”

Having to account for the risk at all bothered Haruka more than he was willing to admit. He was used to going about his business without regard to anyone else's opinion or input. It was only the reminder that this was not exclusively his business that made him swallow down his discomfort.

Makoto moved suddenly, bracing his arms against the ground and stretching up as best he could without hurting himself before slumping back down, with his head resting on his forearms. He stared blankly at the sea, lost in his thoughts.

Haruka rolled sideways on a whim and watched his profile as he wracked his own brain for an idea. He found himself distracted by the way the last light of the day caught in Makoto's eyes and made them shine. 

He snapped out of those unhelpful thoughts however as he saw Makoto's brow furrow. His shoulders drew up slowly, like he was cringing. Haruka felt his own body grow tense, and he knew what Makoto was going to say before he said it.

“Haru...” Makoto, head down, spoke into his arms, “I'm so sorry for all the trouble I'm causing you.”

Two apologies in one day was two to many to begin with, and now Haruka's annoyance out-weighed his amusement.

He sat up sharply and Makoto did actually cringe away from him. His usual responses, to call him stupid, to act like it was no big deal, faded from his tongue when he realised that Makoto wasn't even looking at him. 

Everyday since they had made their arrangement, Makoto had found one thing or another to say sorry for, by now he knew that Haruka's reaction would be to snip at him. The reflex to apologise, Haruka reckoned, was another irritating aspect of his personality. The small flecks of fear that Makoto tried to smother underneath it, that Haruka saw at moments like this, were not. 

He moved forward slowly, half-scooting, half-shuffling across the sand, until he was sitting cross-legged in front of Makoto. The merman peered at him from the corner of his eye, as if unsure if he was allowed to look or not.

Haruka squared his shoulders and prayed that his words would come out right.

“Makoto,” He began, “I get up everyday at 6am to take an hour-long bath. I live by myself and cook fish for almost every meal. When it rains, I stand in my back garden with only my swimsuit on. I never pay attention in class and still manage to do well in exams, my teachers hate that Whenever they call, my parents always complain about two things: the water bill, and my diet. My neighbours keep threatening to call the police for public indecency.”

As he spoke, he watched the tension trickle out of Makoto to be replaced with complete confusion. He raised his head to outright stare at him.

“I...” _Here we go, deep breath,_ Haruka thought, “I don't care what people think of me. I do what I want without the regard of others and... I... I never do anything I don't want to do. If I decide that it is bothersome, I won't do it.”

He swallowed, his mouth suddenly bone-dry, as he placed a hand lightly on one of Makoto's folded forearms. 

“I wouldn't do this if I didn't want to or if I thought it was too much trouble. I... I want to help you. So, stop saying you're sorry. Because,” He turned his head to one side, suddenly not wanting to see Makoto's face, “Because... I'm not.”

Haruka didn't dare to look at him, and felt ridiculous about it. There was no reason for him to feel embarrassed about being honest, especially after he had just finished explaining how other people's opinions didn't matter to him.

There was something about all of this however, about sitting on a small beach, tucked away from the rest of the world with someone who ought to only exist in a fairytale, that still didn't seem quite real. He found his tongue would slip more often, like it had now, before actuality crept back into his consciousness and chagrin with it. It wasn't that he minded speaking so openly in front of Makoto, but this spiel had come out of the blue instead of on his own terms. It felt like too much too soon but he couldn't help but be completely honest with the person who was trusting him with his life.

 _That_ was what was bothersome.

Makoto still hadn't said anything, and all Haruka could hear was his soft breathing mingling with the rush of the tide. He jumped suddenly as something huge and warm touched the hand still on Makoto's arm. He looked up.

Makoto had placed one of his hands on top of Haruka's, encompassing it totally and pressing gently. His smile was so big, it seemed to take up all of his face and his eye were sparkling with a light that had nothing to do with the sun shining on his face. There wasn't a trace of fear in his expression now, only a sincere happiness. 

Haruka found himself a little breathless.

“Alright, alright,” Makoto said, patting his hand softly, “I understand, you want to help... I'll do my best to remember.”

His smile suddenly gained a shade of mischief. He cleared his throat.

“Lets try this then,” Makoto murmured before carefully lifting Haruka's hand and unfolding his arms to hold it in both of his own. They dwarfed it completely and Haruka was again reminded of just how big Makoto was in comparison to him. His grip was delicate, cautious and warm from soaking in the sun.

Haruka was still struggling to catch his breath.

“Instead of an apology,” Makoto said softly, “How about a thank you? I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't helped me. Thank you, Haru, really.”

His smile was still huge, his eyes still bright. 

Haruka snatched his hand back and stood up abruptly, turning away from him and stomping a few paces down the beach, face burning with a blush.

He glared at the ocean as he brushed the sand off his clothes and heard Makoto trying to stifle a laugh.

He whirled back around with a frown. 

“You're teasing me,” He accused him.

Makoto's sincere smile had morphed into a grin that he tried to hide behind one of his hands.

“You looked so serious, I couldn't help it,” His laughter died down but his smile remained, “I really am grateful though.”

Haruka nodded, turning away again. 

The sun had just set and the last rays of light were slowly crawling down the cliff-face. Soon Haruka would have to go back home, finish his meager meal, and pretend to care about his homework, all the while trying to think of any ideas for tomorrow that he could get out of what was left of today. 

He crouched down to pack away what was left of the things he had brought and was blinded by a sudden harsh light at the base of the cliff behind them. As soon as he could blink away the sparks beneath his eyelids, he moved toward it to get a closer look.

“What is it?” Makoto asked, turning his torso as best he could without hurting himself.

Haruka stared. 

What had caught the sun's last light was one of the hooks attached to the huge fishing net that had trapped Makoto in this very bay only eight days ago. The net was half-buried in sand and grit, and Haruka thought he even spotted the spiraling shell of a hermit crab among the debris. He heaved as much of it upright as he could and turned, holding it out for Makoto to see as a wordless answer. The merman frowned and leaned away when he realised what he was looking at.

“That's... what I was caught in,” He murmured.

Haruka nodded, dragging it out from the base of the cliff and shaking the dirt off of it.

“The net,” He reminded him of the word, “I had forgotten about it.”

The day's light had finally faded and Haruka caught the tail-end of it through the net's tight mesh. Apart from its week-long neglect and the necessary cuts he had made to free Makoto, it was in relatively good condition. Some parts would have to be re-woven and most of its hooks were looking worse for wear but it would hold its own well enough once it was patched up. He supposed Sasabe would be glad to have it back anyhow even though, like Haruka, he seemed to have forgotten its existence. 

And as he watched the waves move in through the checkered screen he held up, the idea came to Haruka in a flash.

“That's it,” He whispered, his brain already trying to sort through the practicalities of the scheme.

“What's it?” Makoto asked worriedly.

Haruka pulled the net forward to spread it on the sand, oblivious to Makoto trying to squirm away from it. 

“We use the net,” Haruka said, not looking at him, “I can rig it up somehow, cast it out in the mornings, pull it in in the evening. I could probably take one or two more of the older ones without Sasabe-san noticing...”

It seemed so obvious now that he had thought of it. The water got deeper here about fifty feet away from the shore, and the lack of boats in this area meant that they had no competition for the fish. Haruka was about as good with mechanics as he was with math but if he just made the ropes at each end of the net a bit longer, they would be able to reach the depths he needed and he would still be able to brace them at the shoreline. He toyed with one of the bent hooks while thinking. He could replace all of them with weights and use the hooks themselves to make the base on-land to connect the ropes to. 

“We can put them in front of the cave,” He spoke out loud as more half-formed ideas came to him, “Then you can pull them in whenever you want.”

“Ah... R-right in front the cave?” Makoto stammered, eyeing the net with trepidation.

Haruka was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice.

“Yeah, this should work. I think,” He muttered to himself a little proud at his suddenly swift thinking.

The silence spread out between them and he didn't realise that he was waiting for a response from Makoto until it didn't come. Even then, it was only when he looked up at him that he understood the error he had made.

Makoto was staring at the net with a completely blank look. The lack of expression made him look older, and without the warmth Haruka was used to, his face seemed less human somehow. 

He caught Haruka watching him and he smiled automatically, placid and reassuring. It didn't reach his eyes.

“It's a good idea, Haru,” He agreed in an even tone, “Let me know if I can help in any way.”

The small amount of pride Haruka had felt for the solution he had come up with left him as soon as it had come, and he was ready to kick himself for being so stupid. Even though it felt like another lifetime to him, the memories of being beached and injured must have seemed as though they had happened only yesterday for Makoto and here he was waving around what had hurt him to begin with like it was nothing. Guilt and self-disgust clashed in his throat and made him feel queasy. 

Even when he was trying to help, he only made things worse. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

“You're upset,” He said quietly, hanging his head.

“What? Oh no no, Haru, of course I'm not!” Makoto laughed gratingly and waving his hands back and forth, as though batting away the comment, “Why would I be? You came up with a great idea for my problem!”

The fear Haruka thought he had dissuaded was back in him, in the rise of his shoulders and the curve of his tail. He was as far away from him and the net as he could manage.

Haruka despondently wondered what he would have to do to earn Makoto's trust, and instantly chastised himself. Makoto was trusting him with his life, and not by choice. 

_That ought to be enough for you,_ He thought bitterly.

Haruka knew that they really needed to talk about this. About the uneasiness Makoto showed when it was least expected, and about how Haruka kept crossing boundaries that he didn't know existed. He couldn't shake the feeling that, for all the friendliness he showed him, there was something Makoto wasn't telling him, and the more he pretended that it didn't exist, the more important Haruka was sure it was. 

Maybe it really was none of his business but as he watched him fake a smile, he suddenly found himself thinking of Rin. Of how his rage had exploded out of him after being buried under casual smirks and playful teasing ever since he had come back to the country. If Makoto also caved to that kind of pressure, Haruka didn't even want to think of what the fallout would be. 

The answer to this was as simple as the answer to Rin's outburst had been. He could ask him. Ask him about the quiet distances he kept and the way he directed conversation away from himself at every opportunity. Makoto could be stubborn but he was confident he if he pushed him enough and in right way, he would talk easily and they could clear the air between them. Haruka just had to be brave enough to speak. 

He opened his mouth and as he looked into Makoto's unsmiling eyes, his heart quailed.

“We can think of something else,” He looked down, speaking to his shoes.

Makoto protested of course, telling him that there was no need, that he was being silly, that it was a wonderful idea. Even as his words hang hollow, Haruka frowned at the thought of abandoning the net. It _was_ a good idea, despite the grief it caused, and, so far, it was the only idea they had. Haruka looked out across the sea for guidance and another notion came upon him suddenly, although he took no joy from it.

“I'll put the nets here,” He said, cutting across Makoto who was still babbling.

“It's really best to- Huh?”

“I'll put the nets here, in the inlet,” He repeated louder, not looking at him, “There is more space for them, and the ground is more solid. It'll be harder for them to be swept away.” 

_And they'll be out of your sight,_ he didn't say.

There was a beat of silence.

“...If that is what you think is best Haru.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Haruka saw Makoto's shoulders relax slightly, although he was still curled in on himself. The relief in his voice sounded more like exhaustion.

Haruka nodded, avoiding his eye, and gathered up the heavy net, preparing to haul it away under the cover of darkness.

~~

To their great and mutual surprise, the net plan actually worked. 

Haruka had taken the next day off school to set up the system as quickly as possible, adding weights, weaving mesh and baiting wire, while Makoto leaned over the rock barrier separating the inlet from the cave and chattered aimlessly. He was finished by late afternoon and that evening they witnessed the first fruits of his labour. 

The fish they had caught was roughly the equivalent of about two and a half buckets, but Makoto thanked him profusely as usual and praised him for his ingenuity. In truth, while the risk of exposing Makoto had now decreased rapidly, the payoff was that their catch varied greatly. 

Somedays, the nets were practically bursting at the seams with fish and Haruka could barely manage to haul them back to shore. It was times like that he wished he could ask for Makoto and his clearly superior strength to pull them in, but he doubted he could even convince him to get closer to the nets, never mind touch them. Other days, they barely caught anything and even though it was all dependent on circumstance, he couldn't help but feel guilty. The worse days were, of course, when he could pull the nets in without effort and he knew as soon as he touched the rope that Makoto would be spending the night hungry. 

A week and three days passed this way, with numbing classes in the morning, the occasional shift of work in the afternoon or over the weekend and Haruka spending the evenings basking in the sun's last rays with Makoto as he slowly healed. 

Conversations between them were light. Makoto talked a lot without really saying anything at all and Haruka found it oddly relaxing. He was like Nagisa in that way, in that he filled up the silence Haruka made without expecting a response. The difference between them lay in the fact that Haruka found himself wanting to respond to Makoto more often than he would do with Nagisa. 

Even though the tension he had felt whenever Makoto let his fear show through his facade still simmered at the back of his mind, Haruka realized that he felt more at ease by his side then anywhere else in town. 

Maybe it was because Makoto still didn't seem quite real to him, or maybe it was the fact that he didn't know Haruka's reputation in town. They hadn't been neighbours since they had been born, Makoto wasn't a classmate who had watched him grow more and more closed off throughout his school career. It was refreshing to be starting off with a relatively blank slate. 

Which was why his guilt grew all the stronger as he ignored the little voice in his head that told him to address Makoto's feelings of hidden but ever-present fear head on. He couldn't see any good reason to disrupt his or Makoto's own comfort. 

In a way he couldn't help but think of as typical, by mid-week he found himself in a situation where he was forced to do just that.

~~

Haruka's house was the ideal space to study in. 

It was absolutely silent, far removed from the noise of the road at the bottom of the steps, he rarely had neighbours call into him and no-body ever called his phone which was in any case dead more often than not. It was the ideal environment for him to really buckle down and focus on the upcoming summer exams. 

So naturally, he shunned it in favour of hauling his books down to the coastline and perching on a rock to peer at them with Makoto soaking in the surf beside him. 

A couple of days ago, he had spend an amusing afternoon explaining the concept of public education to Makoto who only got more confused the more he had told him. Admittedly he hadn't tried very hard to give him a comprehensive answer, as his subjects were dull enough to slog through without having to define them for someone else. Makoto had seemed particularly fascinating with writing, and when Haruka passed over one of the novels from his literature class, he had cradled it in his massive palms and stared at the tiny characters in wonder. Although he couldn't ask him for fear of Makoto shutting him out again, he gathered that there wasn't much use for writing under the sea. 

While he couldn't understand the words on the page, Makoto had been thumbing through his text books as well and seemed to understand that the novel, rather than being instructional, was telling a story. As soon as Haruka confirmed that it was, Makoto began pestering him to read it out loud. He told him to not be foolish and that he was interrupting what little work he was actually doing, but he wouldn't back down even when Haruka told him that he didn't have a good reading voice.

“But I like Haru's voice?” He had told him, utterly innocent and tipping his head to one side in confusion. 

Haruka told him not to be so embarrassing.

Now, as Haruka was studying for his English exam and it was still light enough to read by, he decided that he had mentally recited enough future-tense verbs to earn a small break. He was doodling aimlessly in the margins of his notes when Makoto shuffled over through the shallows and tried to peek at the page.

“Are you writing?” He whispered as though speaking any louder would make him stop. 

Haruka shook his head and turned the notepad to show him the dolphin he was sketching.

“Oh!” Makoto suddenly sprang up, eyes bright, “You're drawing! Gosh, you're really good at it Haru!”

He gave him an incredulous look.

“What?” 

Haruka frowned at him. 

“You've never seen writing before, but you know what a picture is?” He asked him disbelievingly.

Makoto blinked and then laughed cheerfully.

“Well, it sounds strange when you put it like that!” He pretended to whine, “I suppose you could say we sometimes use pictures like writing, to communicate, but more often than not it's just like what you're doing,” He laughed again as though he had thought of something pleasant, “I tell you the amount of times I've found Ren and Ran huddled around a rock with a stick of coral and a poor helpless squid for the ink-” 

He stopped talked suddenly and all of the humour drained from his features, as did the colour. He looked away from Haruka, white as a sheet, and moved over to the other side of the cave as quickly as possible.

Haruka blinked at his sudden change and felt worry and fear creeping up his spine.

“Makoto..?” He called uncertainly.

“I'm fine!” Makoto barked, still not looking at him but at everything else, his eyes whirling rapidly in their sockets.

All the guilt and unease Haruka had been shoving down for the past few days suddenly burst forward and he winced at both Makoto's reaction and his own selfishness. 

Seeing Makoto like this was worse in a way. Now he wasn't even bothering to hide his fear, or perhaps it had grown so great that had couldn't. Haruka couldn't tell which possibility was worse. He tried to think about what had caused it. If it wasn't something he had said, maybe it had been something that Makoto had mentioned. Either way, he would have to handle this as delicately as possible. 

He put his books away and took a steadying breath. Even if he didn't feel quite ready for it, he realised that he couldn't ignore this anymore. Helping Makoto was no longer about keeping a legendary creature safe. It was about comforting his friend. He decide to reflect on when he had begun to think of Makoto as his friend later. For now, it was time to be brave. 

“Makoto,” He called again with a stronger voice. When he received no reply, apart from Makoto beginning to shiver, he continued, “It's alright. You... Whatever is wrong... It's alright to be afraid. I said when we first spoke didn't I? It's a natural reaction given... what's happened.”

As he paused silence rang throughout the cave, but he could tell over his harsh breathing, that Makoto was listening to him.

“You haven't done anything wrong. You don't even have to talk about it if you don't want but... You know I'm here to help... You know you're safe with me... Don't you?”

A paralyzing doubt searing through his system. If Makoto told him no, that he didn't feel safe, he didn't know if he could bear it. He regretted the question the moment it left his mouth, and his courage fled him, rendering him silent. 

A pregnant moment of quiet filtered between them, and Haruka chest started to ache. 

After an eternity, Makoto took a huge gulp of air and spoke. 

“I- I'm sorry,” Was of course the first thing out of his mouth, “I'm really sorry, I don't mean to be- I'm o-over-reacting...” His shaking hadn't stopped, “I'm just- I do trust you Haru, I swear, I really really do.”

Makoto finally looked back at him, and in that look Haruka could see he was telling the truth. The ache faded slightly.

“I-” Makoto stammered, “There is something I should tell you.” 

Haruka nodded, leaning forward eagerly.

“What you have to understand... A-and I'm not trying to be offensive or anything...” He was staring at his hands again, “Haru... you're a monster.”

Haruka blinked once, twice and then tipped his head to the side to try and clear his ears of water because surely he hadn't heard that right.

“A-ah! I don't mean you personally! I mean- This is all coming out so wrong!” Makoto panicked.

Haruka could only stare gobsmacked.

Makoto cut off his own rambling with a deep breath and started again.

“Haru,” He spoke clearly, “Ever since I was born, I have been raised with the idea that humans were nothing but mindless animals. Vicious, mindless beasts who were to be avoided at all costs. When... when you found me at the beach... I thought I was about to be killed horribly... I'm sorry,” He finished quietly, ducking his head back down again.

Haruka was frozen in astonishment. All the thoughts had had about Makoto when he had first seen him must have been so much worse from Makoto's perspective, if that had been what he believed. The guilt he felt from causing him undue stress was completely overshadowed however by the sheer awe he felt that after such a short time since then, after being raised with such a belief his whole life, that Makoto could do what he had done.

“But you trusted me...” He said softly.

Makoto shrugged.

“You talked to me, I was surprised more than anything, I didn't even think humans _could_ talk,” He explained, “And then, when you came back, you seemed so sincere... I guess I was a little silly to trust you so quickly but, hey, you made it pretty easy, you know.”

Makoto had the gall to smile at him for an instant before he sighed again, long and heavy.

“Besides, it's not like I've been completely honest with you...” He mumbled, actually having the nerve to look upset with himself. 

“You had no reason to!” Haruka cried, “If I was in your place I certainly wouldn't be!”

“But you've been nothing but kind to me!” Makoto protested, “You didn't have to do anything you did! You could have told other humans where I was, or left me to starve or-”

“And what kind of person would I be if I did that?!” Haruka cut across him, yelling.

“It's what I would have done!” Makoto shouted right back, “ If- If I had been in your place... I would have been far too scared... to help you...” His voice trailed off as he looked away, ashamed, “Haru... you're too kind for your own good.”

“Then you're too brave for your own good,” Haruka scoffed. 

“No, Haru,” He shook his head, “I ought to be braver, I really do trust you. I know I'm safe here... I shouldn't react like this...”

“Makoto...” Haruka groaned at his stubbornness. He opened his mouth to snip at him again, before he changed his mind, and slipped off the rock he was perched on. 

“I'm going to come closer, alright?”

Makoto considered him for a moment before nodding.

He sat a foot away from him in the shallows and looked out to the sea.

“Makoto, I know you trust me, I- I appreciate it,” He muttered, feeling himself blush slightly, “But something you have been raised with doesn't just go away overnight. It's okay to feel like that,” He hesitantly raised his hand and looked Makoto in the eye for permission. When he saw it, he placed his hand slowly over Makoto's. It didn't even come close to covering it.

“It really is okay. If you trust me... It's okay to be honest about how you feel.”

Makoto's eyes glazed over with a wet shimmer that he tried to blink away.

“R-right,” He took several deep breaths, “I understand. It's okay, it's okay.”

He repeated that to himself a few times, breathing deeply. 

Suddenly he flipped his hand over and held Haruka's tightly. He smiled softly. It was a small smile, barely visible but absolutely genuine.

“Thank you, really,” He whispered, “Thank you so much, Haru. You, haha, you really are kind.”

Haruka scowled and looked away from him, but didn't move his hand.

They stayed like that for a long time, watching the waves flow in and out as Makoto got his breathing under control. When he eventually calmed down, he thanked Haruka again and let his hand go. He tried to stifle the odd feeling of sudden disappointment in his gut.

“So... Do you want to talk about it?” He asked him after minute more of silence.

Makoto frowned, and Haruka found himself panicking as quietly as he could.

“You don't have to,” He said immediately, “If you want to I'll listen, but you don't have to. At all. Really.”

Makoto regarded him for a moment with mild amusement, as his internal panic manifested as a flat monotone in his voice. Then his expression shifted into something more serious.

“I think... I want to talk about it,” He said steadily.

Haruka nodded his encouragement.

“I didn't mean to startle you by suddenly freaking out like that,” He explained, “I just- I wasn't even thinking when I spoke, like I said, you make it easy.”

Haruka studiously ignored that remark.

“I didn't ever expect to be talking about _them_... I shocked myself I guess.”

“Them?” Haruka prompted quietly.

Makoto was quiet for a minute before speaking softly.

“Ren and Ran, my... siblings, my brother and sister. They're twins. They're a lot younger than me, so much so I pretty much helped my parents raise them... They mean the world to me. I would do anything to keep them safe...”

Haruka didn't know what to say, but Makoto seemed to be talking to himself now, gazing at the horizon.

“When I got stuck on that beach, when I saw you, I thought, no matter what happens, no matter what they do to me... I couldn't let any human find out about my family. I couldn't take the risk that they could be exposed, that they could get hurt like I had been. Even now, talking to you... it feels like I'm betraying them somehow.”

Haruka opened his mouth to speak but Makoto cut him off before he could.

“I know I'm not! I know you wouldn't say a word about them to anyone... But it's my job, ever since they were born. I'm their big brother, I'd protect them from the whole world if I had to...”

Haruka couldn't help but smile as he spoke. He elbowed him in the arm.

“Like I said,” He teased, “So brave.”

“Hey,” Makoto nudged him back, before lapsing into silence.

“Haru,” He called him again, after a moment.

“Mm?”

“Do you- do you mind if I tell you a bit more about them?” Makoto licked his lips nervously, “It's been a while since I let myself think about them. I- I want to talk about them.”

Haruka shuffled closer to his side and tried not to nod too eagerly.

Makoto smiled down at him, warm and grateful.

He began to tell Haruka various tales of mischief and glee. Apparently neither twin shared Makoto's gentle personality, and as the sun set and night crept in on them they paid no heed to it, engrossed in their own private world of quiet words and a soft understanding that grew with each passing twinkle of the stars above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters within a month, what madness is this? Although with final year exams coming up, the next update is a far point on the horizon rn.
> 
> However! This chapter is longer than usual to make up for it and even at that I had to cut some stuff out! 
> 
> This started out as mostly fluff and then grew into something a bit ore serious but ah well. The next chapter will contain a bit more action than this, although considering what I'm going to do, this might seem like the calm before the storm!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! You're all lovely~


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the dark clouds brewing overhead are ignored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, author's notes at the beginning this time because i owe you all such a big apology. it has been three months since this has updated, which is obscene and i am so so sorry
> 
> i'll spare you the excuses; college ended, work started, family troubles abounded, life happened basically. Regardless, it should not have taken as long as it did to get this chapter done. 
> 
> the good news is that this chapter grew so long that it has been split into two so fingers crossed the next update should be very very soon. 
> 
> Apologies once again, and thank you for your patience, please enjoy~~

“Perhaps if I had a little more time for the last question, I could have corrected those last few integers I got wrong, but I'm not actually sure if I _did_ get them wrong because the bell rang before I could go through my rough work, although they were within the parameters in the question... I just wish I could be certain! Nagisa-kun, what did you get for them?”

“Uuuuuuggghhhh, Rei-chan stop talking about it!”

Haruka snorted as his underclassmen walked ahead of him on the path away from the greasiest fast-food chain in a mile-radius of their school. The Summer exams had passed by in a blur of blistering heat, scattered notepaper and stressed students, and after Nagisa had realised Haruka's last exam would end at the same time as the first-years', he had nagged him into joining them to celebrate the end of the term by eating their body weight in burgers. 

Their celebration had turned into more of a commiseration however, when Haruka had met Nagisa and Rei at the school gates and took in the state in which their Maths exam had left them. Nagisa had shambled forward like the living dead before practically collapsing onto Haruka, while Rei looked so frazzled that his hair was standing on end from how often he had dragged his fingers through it. 

By contrast, Haruka was almost entirely certain that he had passed everything if not with flying colours, then with ones that were at least moving at a fast clip. His own lack of academic ambition didn't particularly bother him; he seemed to do well in most subjects with the minimum of effort and managed to scrape a passing grade in the rest. This spark of quiet confidence had been helped along by Haruka's art teacher pulling him to one side two days after her exam and confiding in him that had he gotten the highest score in his class. 

He chose not to relay this information to his beleaguered friends. 

Now, full of fried potatoes, cheap meat and the knowledge that a season of freedom awaited them, Nagisa and Rei's moods seemed to have picked up, although Rei was still trying to carry the conversation about their exam that he had started as soon as they had left the school grounds. Nagisa had succeeded in shutting him down everytime so far.

“But just!” Rei sputtered, trying to seize control of the topic, “Just run through the last few questions with me! I have the exam paper here...”

He reached around his shoulder to drag his backpack around to his front and began rummaging through it with a frantic sort of energy like he was afraid he only had a limited amount of time to do so.

His fears proved to be founded as Nagisa skipped forward to move in front of him and pressed his hands to his chest to get him to stop.

“Rei-chan!” He spoke in a loud, clear voice like he was talking to a concussed patient, “Stop, okay? Just put it away. It's done, it's over, we survived and going through it over and over again can't change your results now... right?”

They locked eyes for a tense moment, Nagisa frowning in a way that was meant to be stern but came out looking like more of a pout, and Rei wavering on the spot like he couldn't quite focus on any one thing. 

The tension broke as Rei sighed dramatically and let his shoulders droop. Nagisa's death grip on his shirt collar relaxed and he grinned sincerely for the first time since Haruka had seen him that afternoon.

“I... I suppose you're right...” Rei moaned, swinging his bag back onto his back.

“I'm always right, Rei-chan,” Nagisa gave the taller boy an approving pat on the head, “Besides, you've been working that big ol' brain so hard, you have to give it a chance to relax! Think of it like Rin-chan's training, rest days aren't just for the body y'know?”

Haruka was keeping pace with the two of them at this point, but froze at the mention of the red-head's name.

“Rin?” He asked cautiously.

“That's right!” Nagisa turned to him with a bright look now that all talk of tests had been done away with, “I forgot you didn't know Haru-chan! Rin-chan has been coaching Rei-chan for his big swim lesson!”

“I only asked for a little advice!” Rei protested, looking embarrassed that he had had to ask at all “I had read up on the available theory but I thought it best to ask Rin-san for some practical advice particularly because he goes to a sports-focused facility,” His expression shifted into something far more neutral and his voice was pointedly polite as he spoke, “He was... thorough.”

“Yeah,” Nagisa added, “Rin-chan just droned on and on and on. You know the way he gets.”

Haruka was all too familiar with how Rin got. 

He hadn't seen or spoken to him since their race. In the haze of the exams, Haruka had almost forgotten that they had both gotten roped into teaching Rei how to swim. The thought of seeing Rin again made him nauseous and the cheap meal in his stomach suddenly felt like a stone weighing down his gut. He hadn't worked up the nerve to get in touch with Rin and likewise, Rin hadn't seen fit to reach out to him. 

Haruka had tried his best to shove the memory of that evening as far from his conscious mind as possible but when his thoughts drifted without his permission, or when exhaustion clouded his head, he couldn't block out the image of Rin's face at the pool frozen in a tableau of hatred and hurt. 

A wave of guilt always crashed down over him at moments like these. Not only because he still couldn't understand the cause of Rin's grief but because those brief intrusions of memory only served to remind him that he was still doing the exact same thing he had done at the poolside. He was avoiding the problem. 

It was admittedly easier to not think about his estranged friend's vicious temper but that didn't mean that it didn't exist. Not addressing it might have worked in the short-term but now, with Nagisa's far-flung plans about to bear fruit, he would be forced to face it head-on when he saw Rin again. 

Haruka's one meager consolation in the matter was that, despite the fact that they had both been talking to Rin since that day, neither Nagisa nor Rei seemed to know about their fight. If they had, Haruka was sure that Nagisa would be badgering him constantly to call Rin and make up while Rei hovered nervously behind him, aching to help but unsure if was enough of a friend to either of them to have the right to interfere.

On the other hand, a small voice in the back of his mind piped up, if Rin hadn't been confiding in Nagisa whom he had know since they were all young, the chance that he was confiding in _anybody_ was incredibly low. 

What he had gathered from Gou's occasional musings about her brother, as well as Rin's own rambling, was that he didn't have a huge number of friends in Samezuka. He only ever really spoke about his roommate or the captain of his swimming team and even then it was mostly to complain about them. Even Gou herself didn't seem to rate to highly on Rin's list of people to talk to. Whenever they spoke on the phone, she was always the one who called him. In any case, if Gou knew about their fight Haruka was certain she would have already hunted him down by now. 

As far as he knew, Haruka was the only person who had seen this side of Rin, raging and hurt. He didn't know whether to be grateful or perturbed over his silence. 

Now that they weren't being actively held back, Haruka's thoughts were racing at a mile a minute. He had no idea how he would act around Rin when they met again. He quashed the immediate instinct to just avoid his eye and drop the subject altogether with difficulty. That old familiar tactic had done more harm than good as it was. The only option that Haruka could see working was actually speaking to Rin directly and sincerely. He shivered despite the blazing Summer sun beaming down on him.

The thought of being straightforward with Rin made his mind inevitably drift to Makoto. Ever since the heart-to-heart they had shared before the exams, the merman's confidence had grown quickly if quietly. Haruka hadn't been able to talk to him as much during the fortnight of tests and most evenings the only interaction they had was Makoto calling out a greeting from the sun-lit cave mouth as Haruka heaved teeming nets of fish onto the cove's shore. However in the few nights Haruka made the time to sit down and take a breather as Makoto ate, their conversations were lit up by Makoto's new-found assurance, both in himself and in Haruka. He spoke to him less like he was Haruka's invalid patient and more like the fast-growing friend that he was shaping up to be. He spoke without fear about his life before they had met, about instances during his day that reminded him of something his siblings had once done, about everything and nothing all at the same time. It was during these times that Haruka lay back on the sand and let the merman's voice wash over him. He didn't pay attention to Makoto's rambling one hundred percent of the time, but found his small talk was able to soothe away all the stress of that day in any case. If Makoto was aware of his lack of attention, it didn't discourage him and Haruka found himself flushed with gratitude for that.

At moments like that Haruka was reminded that they only reason Makoto could speak to him so freely was because he had taken the first step to try and crack through his polite, shy shell. Getting through to Rin, he knew, was also his responsibility. The circumstances between the two weren't exactly the same but in both cases Haruka felt a flicker of heartache at the thought of his friend hurting in silence. With Makoto, getting his worries and hang-ups off of his chest had been enough to subdue them. Instinctively, Haruka knew that wouldn't be enough for Rin. Makoto's fears, of humanity, of his own battered body, of making the slightest mistake in word or deed, had manifested with his beaching on the Iwatobi shoreline a little over a month ago. Whatever Rin was keeping locked away underneath his faux geniality and his blazing anger had had five years to fester. Haruka knew that simply trying to get him to talk about it would not help him in the same way that it had helped Makoto. Although he didn't know what exactly was eating away at Rin, Haruka suspected that it wasn't something that could be cured as easily as that. 

Regardless, it was a start. Haruka hoped that he would be brave enough to make that first move as he had done with Makoto and at least try to get through to his estranged friend. It seemed like the only thing he _could_ do since Fate, in the guise of Nagisa, had seen fit to hand him the opportunity to do so. The more he thought about it, the more certain Haruka was that it could work.

Probably.

“Hello? Earth to Haru-chan! Come back to us, Haru-chan!!”

Haruka was brought out of his musings by a sharp knock on the head and saw Nagisa standing right in front of him with his finger raised, ready to deliver another tap. 

“Geez!” He frowned as Haruka blinked rapidly to try and clear his mind, “The tests only just finished, don't shut off your brain yet!”

From behind him, Rei tried to pull off a look that was stern but fell somewhere in the region of petulant.

“That's a bit rich coming from you, Nagisa-kun!” He scolded, “You were the one who was just complaining about a simple thought exercise concerning them!”

“But that wasn't important, Rei-chan!” He whined, turning back to Haruka even as Rei squawked, offended, “You need to devote your head to what really matters, listening to the plan!”

Haruka dared to raise a eyebrow questioningly. 

“The plan, Haru-chan,” Nagisa huffed, “The plan for teaching Rei-chan to swim!”

“Ah.”

“Okay, so here's what I'm thinking,” He continued, instantly forgiving Haruka for the lapse of concentration, “This Saturday, we head to the beach super-early, set up camp and turn this landlubber into a swimming champ! You ready to do that?”

 _Saturday,_ Haruka thought, _three days from now._

It was doable, certainly, and the handful of days inbetween would give him time to cobble together what he would say to Rin. He nodded.

“And you!” Nagisa cried, twirling on his heel and pointing his raised finger at Rei, “Are you ready for the wildest wettest weekend of your life?!”

Rei gave him a look that screamed no, but cleared his throat and fiddled with his glasses rather than answering.

“Ah, if I could ask one question, Nagisa-kun?” He ventured weakly, “What exactly did you mean when you said 'set up camp'?”

Nagisa let out a over-exaggerated gasp and his pointing hand came down to clutch at his chest. 

“Rei-chan!” He exclaimed, “Rome wasn't built in a day! A watched pot never boils! Don't count your chickens before they hatch!”

“I don't think that last one matches,” Haruka murmured behind him.

“The point is,” Nagisa scoffed, “You can't be taught to swim in a day, Rei-chan! It takes a long weekend to do that, removed from the creature comforts of home. We're camping out on the beach until you're as good at swimming as you are at standing!”

At that moment, Rei didn't look too steady on his feet.

Nagisa took his stunned silence for acquiescence and began to rattle off a series of items that they would need to bring with them. There seemed to be more food on his list then actual camping supplies.

As they continued walking to the train station, Nagisa turned back to Haruka with his stern finger raised again.

“Don't forget what you have to bring, Haru-chan,” He warned him, “It's every man for himself out in the wilderness!”

“I won't forget my swimsuit,” Haruka assured him.

“Jeez, Haru-chan, I know that! That's not what I meant,” Nagisa had the nerve to look exasperated with him, “You need to bring food, and a tent and stuff.”

“Oh.”

He could do that. There was probably a sleeping bag buried in the debris of his spare room, somewhere.

He caught Nagisa giving him a sharp look.

“What?”

“...tent, sleeping bag, food and a flashlight,” Nagisa said, “Can you remember all of those Haru-chan?”

It was Haruka's turn to give him an unimpressed look.

They stared each other down for a long moment.

“I'll write it down for you,” Nagisa told him, breaking away from him.

Before either Haruka or Rei could protest, Nagisa unzipped Rei's schoolbag and began rummaging through it.

“N-Nagisa-kun?!”

Nagisa pulled out the Maths exam paper that Rei had threatened to bring out earlier and began scribbling on one of its corners with a borrowed pen. He ripped the corner off and presented it to Haruka. 

He put up with his blank stare for three seconds before he slipped the piece of paper into Haruka's satchel with a grin.

Nagisa shrugged off Haruka's glare and Rei's horrified gaping, and took his classmate by the arm to drag him toward the train platform.

“See you later, Haru-chan!” He called, “I'll text you the list again later, alright?”

Rei started off on a rant that was half of a scold to Nagisa and half of an apology over his shoulder to Haruka which got lost in the noise of their approaching train.

Left on the pathway to stew, Haruka allowed himself a moment more to feel irritated at Nagisa's henpecking before admitting to himself that he probably had a point. If he had been left to his own devices, he would have most likely have come to the beach with his jammers underneath his clothes and very little else. 

Nagisa held true to his word that evening and not only text Haruka the list of items he needed to have with him, but sent him the same list over the next couple of nights as a reminder of his, as Nagisa put it in one of the texts, 'solemn duty'. These messages were accompanied by Nagisa's entire range of emojis and the genuine excitement that shone through in them began to affect Haruka himself. Come Friday evening, he found that he was more than a little eager to set up the rickety old tent that he had salvaged from the dusty storage room that had once belonged to his parents. 

He repeated Nagisa's list in his head as he prepared his bag, and repeated it out loud as he told Makoto what his plans were for the next few days that very same Friday evening. 

They had met in the cove again after what had seemed like a longer time than the actual fortnight had been. Makoto was lying on his front with his head resting on his forearms as Haruka stood at his side, inspecting the wound on his dorsal fin. 

Thick, linen bandages lay at his feet waiting to be used. On either side of Makoto, framing his huge body, were two large metal hooks embedded in the sand and wrapped in tense tight rope. They shifted slightly with the push and pull of the tide that swayed the underwater nets they were attached to. Their minimal movement told Haruka, who had quickly learned the moods of his own contraption, that the nets were being weighed down so today's catch would probably be good. He would pull them to shore once he was finished Makoto's health check-up.

The wound itself, to both his surprise and delight, was looking far better than it had even just a couple of weeks before. A steady diet and plenty of rest, it seemed, had been all that was needed to heal it properly. The flesh that had been torn away would never grow back but new skin was developing layer by layer over the tear and Makoto had assured him that the few missing inches wouldn't have any great impact whenever he was able to get back into the water. 

That day however was still a little while off by Haruka's estimation. When removing Makoto's old bandages, he had ripped away a layer of new skin and it had wept lymph. It was nothing too serious but the wound was still just that little bit too fragile to put any excess strain on it yet. A few more weeks of rest would do it good a world of good. 

Haruka told Makoto this as he pulled the fresh bandages tightly around his fin. 

“How does it feel?” He asked him, wetting a scrap of fabric in the seawater and patting Makoto's tail with it to give it moisture.

“It's alright,” Makoto answered after a little consideration, “It hurts if I move too quickly, or if I brush it against something but it doesn't hurt constantly anymore,” He peered over his shoulder and smiled gratefully at him, “Thanks to you.”

Haruka turned his head away, suddenly finding Makoto's saddlepatch fascinating. 

“...still have to be careful,” He murmured to the white blob of skin.

Makoto laughed. 

“I will, I will,” He reassured him, before his smile morphed into a small pout, “It's still going to be a while before I can swim, huh?” He asked sadly.

Haruka patted his fin lightly.

“Just for a couple more weeks. To be safe,” He told him. 

Makoto placed his head back down on his folded arms with a sigh, but nodded. 

Haruka continued to dampen his tail as best he could, his heart brimming with sympathy. Two weeks of confining himself to long, cold baths during the exams had been enough to make him stir-crazy, and it was only the knowledge that he would be swimming to his heart's content tomorrow that made him able to resist diving into the ocean stretched in front of him now. He wasn't sure how the merman was bearing it.

“It's strange...” Makoto spoke up after a quiet moment, gazing out at the sea.

“What is?” Haruka asked, walking around to his head.

“The way humans have to be taught to swim,” He answered, turning to look at him as he stood by his side, “It's... not something I've ever had to think about. Like breathing, I suppose. I can't remember a time I ever couldn't swim.”

Fighting a smile, Haruka sat down beside him.

“Me neither,” He confessed.

“Huh?”

“I can't remember a time when I couldn't swim,” He explained, “I must have been taught when I was very young. My grandmother always told me I learned to swim before I learned to walk. She said I must have been a fish in a past life.”

Makoto laughed again at that and Haruka let his smile grow. 

“Haru,” Makoto murmured after he had calmed down, “Could I... could I see you swim sometime?”

He was still smiling but the look in his eyes was serious. A sharp breeze blew through them and ruffled their hair. Haruka took his time straightening his out before looking up at him again.

“If you want,” He said softly. 

Makoto grinned widely and thanked him. They took in the ocean view for a moment longer before Makoto turned back to him.

“Do you think your friend will be alright? Will he be able to learn, I mean?” He asked.  
Haruka frowned.

“He doesn't respect the water,” He grumbled, standing up again and stretching. 

He caught a flash of worry on Makoto's face as he did so.

“I'll teach him to as best I can, it'll be alright,” He reassured him. 

The worry melted away in an instant. 

“I just hope you all have fun,” Makoto said, smiling again. 

Haruka nodded and walked over to one of the embedded metal hooks. He tugged on one of the ropes lightly. It barely budged, and confirmed his suspicions that tonight's catch would be good. It also meant however that the next few minutes would seeing him huffing and straining to haul the nets ashore. Haruka was aware that upper body strength wasn't his forte, and his casual swimming wasn't really enough exercise to build sufficient muscle. He couldn't really complain about the extra work, a heavier net meant more food for Makoto after all, but it was a little irritating to be seen to struggle at something as basic as pulling a rope. He rolled his shoulders and braced himself against the sand. 

“Wait,” Makoto suddenly called, placing one of his huge palms over Haruka's joined hands on the rope.

He gave him a bemused look.

“I was wondering... If I should... I mean I want to...” He trailed off and bit at his lips, chewing it nervously. He looked away from Haruka to stare out at the sea with tense shoulders.

Haruka stood up straight and frowned. The look on Makoto's face had a tinge of that old familiar fear etched into it and it sent a chill down his spine. He watched cautiously as Makoto took a deep breath and shut his eyes before turning back to him. 

“I...” He forced the words out without opening his eyes, “I want to pull the nets up!”

Haruka stared, startled. He struggled with words at the best of times and now he didn't even bother to try and articulate the thoughts buzzing around his head at Makoto's declaration. He continued to stare speechless, even as Makoto cracked open an eyelid to warily gauge his reaction. The merman flushed a brilliant red and stammered as he tried to explain himself.

“I mean, um, t-they look heavy, y'know? I don't want to be a burden and I was thinking that it's, ah, my dinner anyway so I really ought to be the one to-”

“Makoto,” Haruka interrupted him with a word and a glare.

Makoto cut off his own stream of babbling in an instant even as he cringed at the obvious demand for an honest answer in Haruka's tone. He avoided his eye for a moment more before letting out a long, weary sigh. The tension dribbled out of his shoulders slowly and he looked away from him again, his gaze falling onto the taut rope stretched between them. 

“I...” Makoto sighed again, bringing a huge hand up to rub at his face, “I _have_ been thinking about it... I-” He swallowed harshly, “I don't want to be afraid anymore...”

He took a few deep careful breaths as Haruka considered that. 

“It's alright to be afraid,” He murmured eventually.

Makoto flashed him a crooked smile.

“I know, I know but... still. I'd like to try, at least.”

Alongside Makoto completely regressing and destroying the careful process they had both made both physical and mentally, a blinding visual of every other little thing that could go wrong flashed through Haruka's mind. 

“You could make your injuries worse, strain your back,” He pointed out after a moment, gesturing at his injured fin.

“If it hurts, I'll stop,” Makoto promised, relaxing a fraction as though seeing Haruka's worry put him at ease.

“If I think you're pushing yourself, I'll _tell_ you to stop,” Haruka told him sternly.

“So, that's a yes then?” Makoto asked hiding a smile poorly. 

Haruka froze at his sudden lack of control in the conversation. Rather than dignify that with a response, he took a step back from the hook and waited. 

The smile slipped off of Makoto's face and he rolled his shoulders before taking up his position. He sat upright, wincing a little as the shift made his back twinge, and placed both hands on the strained rope, one after the other. The fear could be seen in him again as he looked out to open sea, and that was all it took for Haruka's stubborn resolve to leave him to it to snap and step up beside him, laying his own hands over one of Makoto's. He looked down at him with a small grateful smile. His eyes were warmer than he had seen them all afternoon. 

Makoto turned back to the rope, took a huge gulp of air, and pulled with all his strength. 

It was almost embarrassing how quickly the net surfaced. Even when Makoto saw it bob on the top of the water's surface and froze with fright, and it took an encouraging press of Haruka's hand to get him to continue, the net was still brought to shore in under half the time it would have taken if Haruka had been the one trying to heave it to land. 

They stared at the net for a silent moment after it had been dragged through the surf. Just as Haruka had predicted, it was teeming with fish of all shapes and sizes, more than enough to provide a decent meal for the evening. Haruka tore his gaze away from it to look upward at Makoto. His face was calmer now with lowered eyes. There was no more tension is his shoulders as his fingers played over the now-slack rope and grazed against the edges of the net. 

“I did it,” He whispered that to himself like he couldn't believe it.

Haruka let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding in. 

“You did,” He said softly and bumped up against Makoto's arm as he bent down to start undoing the knots that were keeping their catch confined. 

As he finished this and drew back the half of the net that was covering the fish, Makoto suddenly sat up straight like he had just remembered where he was and turned to look at Haruka. 

“I-I did!” He sounded so surprised that it startled an almost-laugh out of Haruka.

“Told you you were brave,” Haruka reminded him, amused. 

“Haru...” 

Makoto raised his hand suddenly towards him. Haruka couldn't help but stare as it hovered awkwardly in the air between them. He threw Makoto a confused look even as he seemingly decided to change his mind and lowered it to the sand again with a shake of his head. 

“Nevermind, just... Thank you, Haru,” He breathed emphatically, “Thank you so so much.”

The combination of his sincere words and blindingly bright smile was overwhelming. Haruka turned his head away.

“You did it by yourself...” He insisted.

Even as Makoto tried to cheerfully deny that, Haruka interrupted him by asking him if he wanted to try pulling up the other one. After a split-second of hesitation, he said he did. The same fear that had paralyzed him when pulling up the first net effected him here as well but as before, and with Haruka standing by his side, the process went relatively smoothly. A shared pride lit up both their expressions as they looked over the two large piles of fish, and began storing through them to remove the debris from the ocean that had been caught along with them.

Soon, Makoto was happily tucking into his evening meal. He had, as had become his habit, offered a portion to Haruka, who declined and unpacked the small dinner he had brought with him, as had become his. Makoto, he had noticed, was one of those people who enjoyed eating. He always said he was satisfied with and grateful for whatever he was given, even when Haruka had been bringing him his meals in buckets, but when presented with a feast like this, Haruka could see the genuine enjoyment in his features. If nothing else, the noises he made while munching his food were amusing. 

With his smaller appetite, Haruka finished his meal long before Makoto. He lay back on the sand with a sigh and tried to relax. Thoughts filtered through his head unbidden, some about Makoto, most about tomorrow and what it would bring. For all his talents in the water, he knew he wasn't a teacher. Articulating how the water made him feel, how his swimming worked seemed an impossibility. He was more worried about Rei than he was willing to admit to himself, not to mention that he still had only the vaguest idea of how he would handle Rin. 

He turned his head to the side to look at Makoto. As the fading sunlight lit up his calm, smiling face, Haruka took it all in and thought about bravery. 

And made a choice.

“Makoto,” He called, sitting up and brushing the sand off of his arms.

“Huumu?” He responded as best he could with a full mouth.

“I want to ask you something.”

Makoto swallowed quickly.

“What is it?”

Haruka fell silent as he wondered how he should put it.

“If... you knew that something was wrong with a friend but you also knew it might upset them to talk about it, what would you do?” He asked him.

Makoto looked at Haruka concerned at the suddenly serious tone he had taken and put down the yellowtail he had been eating.

“Well...” He started off slowly, thinking carefully, “Is it something seriously wrong? I mean, if it isn't, is it worth upsetting your friend for?”

Haruka frowned as the memory of Rin yanking him forward by his goggles and nearly throttling him flashed through his mind. 

“It's pretty serious,” He told Makoto. 

“Hmm...”

Makoto's gaze dropped away from him as he grew pensive. The tide was slowly trickling in as the sun set. Behind them, Haruka could hear the calls of seabirds echoing. Makoto slowly leaned back against the cliff-face being careful not to jostle his fin. He gave Haruka a contemplative look.

“You should talk to your friend, the same way you talked to me,” He told him after a moment more of silence.

Haruka threw him a questioning glance.

“I mean,” He shifted his shoulders as he got comfortable, “When we talked about, um, about the twins before your school exams,” The human words now rolled off his tongue even as he still hesitated when speaking of his family, “You were so calm about the whole thing especially when I, aha, when I wasn't. You gave me time to gather my thoughts and prompted me when I needed that push to speak. Everything you did let me know that you would listen to me and consider what I said. I think if you approach your friend like that, they'll find it easier to talk to you.”

Makoto burst into a huge grin, the orange light of evening brightening his face even further.

“I certainly did,” He told him with pride. 

Haruka looked away from him, telling himself that it was the setting sun making his face warm and nothing else. He wasn't quite as confident as Makoto that that would be the best way to engage with Rin but he supposed that he hadn't really given him enough information to gauge that properly. 

Not to mention the fact that he didn't have any better ideas. 

He nodded, looking out to sea and waiting until he felt cooler to stand up and knock the sand off of his trousers. 

“Makoto,” He saw him focus on him from the corner of his eye, “Thanks.”

The merman's grin grew even wider.

“Let's go,” Haruka spoke quickly before he could say something embarrassing again.

“Go where?” Makoto wondered, leaning forward.

Haruka prodded at one of the nets with an outstretched foot.

“You can pull them in now. I can teach out how to cast them out too.”

When he looked up to him, he couldn't help but share the smile this time.

~~

“-And I don't wanna hear any whining or complaining from you maggots! You're soldiers now and you're going to act like it!!”

“I swear, I'm throwing you as far into the freaking ocean as I can.”

It was seven in the morning and that Saturday's weather was shaping up to be as glorious as it had been during their Summer exams. Nagisa was pacing in front of where Haruka, Rin and Rei had dropped onto the sand after arriving at the small beach where Rei was to be given his swimming lessons, acting like a military general as he told them their itinerary. 

Their dawn start hadn't bothered Haruka. He naturally woke early and lived closest to the coast. Likewise, Rei had trained his body to rise with the sun as part of his track training. He took in Nagisa's spiel with a bright seriousness that was made even more ridiculous by the faces he pulled whenever he tried to hold in his yawns. Rin, coming in from Samezuka Academy half a town over, wasn't nearly as awake as them. He had had to be up before dawn to catch the first train to Iwatobi and had so far countered every one of Nagisa's chirpy orders with a threat of bodily harm. 

Glancing sideways past Rei at Rin's sour, drawn face, Haruka decided that it would be in everyone's best interest to let him wake up a little before he tried to speak with him. 

The beach that Nagisa was striding up and down on as he doled out their duties for the day was smaller than the more tourist-oriented stretches of sand and not quite as scenic. Haruka, who had been appointed to find them a good camping spot as soon as Nagisa had hopped off his train and pointed an authoritative finger at him, had chosen this spot for its distance from the more populated areas of the coast as opposed to how nice it looked. It was actually closer to Makoto's own little cove then the rest of town, and was one of the beaches Haruka often combed for work, hunting among the shoreline for scraps of salvageable material. The gritty sand and rough crags jutting up from the ground were well-suited to snagging debris and sundry but weren't exactly comfortable.

Rei made the mistake of mentioning this just after Nagisa had dismissed them and they were setting up their makeshift camp.

“Will this really be an adequate place to sleep?” He wondered aloud as he spread a tarp over the rocky ground. 

He sat up to find Nagisa crouched down directly behind him and glaring.

“Do you think this is a holiday, Rei-chan?” He demanded imperiously, “Is this a game to you?”

“N-Nagisa-kun, I-”

“Well, playtime is over!” He stood up with a huff, “It's time to get serious! Now drop and give me twenty!” His domineering facade was immediately ruined as he laughed, “I've always wanted to say that!”

Rei, still kneeling on the ground, looked up at him as if trying to pinpoint the moment where everything in his life went oh so very wrong. When he couldn't find it, he let go of the tarp without another word and began to do his push-ups. 

Haruka was impressed. He didn't think Rei would learn that it was easier to do what Nagisa wanted most of the time until at least the start of the next school term.

Rin didn't share the sentiment.

“Who died and made him boss?” He grumbled under his breath. 

“He did. Things get done quicker at least,” Haruka mumbled back to him, forgetting for a moment who he was talking to. 

He remembered in the instant after his mind had registered the sudden silence to his side but before he looked over to see Rin regarding him with a carefully blank look. 

The quiet moment stretched between them, Haruka aching to looking away even as he felt frozen in Rin's gaze, and only broke when Rin looked down again to unfold one of the two-man tents Nagisa had brought with him. 

Haruka swallowed down a sigh. He had only been in Rin's company for under an hour and he was already exhausted with the effort of pretending everything was normal between them. Even before he had met Nagisa and Rei earlier in the morning and had seen how enthusiastic they were about the day ahead, he had resolved to keep his troubles with Rin to himself. 

When he had first seen him again, slouching off of his train with a duffle bag slung over one shoulder and a scowl on his face, Haruka had been worried that Rin would explode at him immediately. Instead, after Nagisa bounded up to greet him loudly and Rei offered a polite hello from a notable distance, Rin had acknowledged him with nothing more then a cold stare. This silent treatment seemed set to continue as Rin had ignored Haruka with every step they had taken towards the secluded beach. 

On one hand, it was relief to know that Rin wasn't about to scream bloody murder at him in front of their friends, on the other, his callous attitude wouldn't make it any easier to approach him out of Nagisa and Rei's earshot if he got the chance.

After a minute more of struggle, Haruka gave up on setting up the other tent. He turned just in time to see Rei finishing his last push-up and brushing the sand off of his hands. Nagisa bounced on the balls of his feet behind him and, having produced a shining silver whistle out of his pocket, was now holding it in his mouth. Haruka saw him take a deep breath and managed to cover his ears just in time.

The sharp shrill tweet rang through the air for a solid five seconds and resulted in Rei jumping so hard at the noise that he ending up standing on his feet, and Rin swearing with a lisp after biting his tongue suddenly. 

Nagisa ignored Rei's inevitable dismayed protests and Rin's predictable death threats with gusto.

“Alright everyone! We have a lot of work ahead of us, let's get started and have some fun!” He cheered, before pulling a folded sheet of paper out of his hoodie's pocket, “I made a schedule and everything! As long as we stick to this, Rei-chan will be swimming in no time,” He cleared his throat and prepared to read. 

Haruka looked between his three friends, from Nagisa puffed up with importance, to Rei's increasing exasperation, to the vein throbbing in Rin's forehead, and then turned to look to the shimmering sea. 

This day, he knew, was not going to be easy. Between trying to teach Rei to swim under Nagisa's ever-watchful eye and scoping out an opportunity to talk to Rin privately, it was going to take every ounce of Haruka's very limited social prowess to get through it.

He decided to indulge himself a little before he had to fulfill any obligations. 

Nagisa had just started to divulge his masterplan when Haruka's thrown button-up shirt landed at his feet. He turned just in time to see him dive head-first into the surf. 

Haruka pulled himself through the cold, salty sea with ease. All the pressure of the last few weeks seemed to slip away from him with every inch of water that flowed through his fingertips. He shut his eyes and allowed himself to just feel. 

Coming up for air after a full minute, Haruka saw that he was at least 20 feet away from shore and spotted Nagisa waving frantically at him. His mouth was open but whatever he was yelling at Haruka was lost beneath the roar of the waves in his ears. He turned onto his back and just drifted for a moment, soaking up as much peace and contentment from the liquid as he could before he had to head back to dry land. 

Nagisa, balanced precariously on the tips of his toes, gave up on trying to call Haruka back for the moment.

“Honestly, Haru-chan,” He grumbled without any real annoyance, admiring him even as he did so “So impulsive....”

He turned back to the other two to continue reading out his plan for the day, and stopped to take in the looks in their eyes, both focused on Haruka. 

Rei's earlier exasperation had disappeared completely. He was watching Haruka with rapt attention, his face lit up with wonder as he took in every movement he made in the water. Nagisa couldn't help but smile. He knew that if anything could inspire Rei to get in the water it would be the beauty of Haruka's front crawl. 

Rin, to his other side, made Nagisa pause. He was looking out over the water with a subdued expression. He watched Haruka just as closely as Rei but there was no admiration in his face, nor any of that competitive fervour he had when he was younger. Instead something dark and brooding lurked about him that held Haruka as its focal point. 

Nagisa wasn't a complete fool. He had of course noticed the change in Rin since he had returned to the country even if he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was just yet. This was new however, the look he gave Haruka when he wasn't looking. 

Nagisa took in what he saw and put in away in the back of his mind to think it over later. Right now, they all had a job to do. He just hoped that whatever weirdness that was hanging over Haruka and Rin's heads wouldn't get in the way of it. 

Even as he turned around to try and call Haruka again, he was making his way out of the ocean, water dripping off of him as he stood motionless on the shore, looking to Nagisa as if nothing had happened. 

Nagisa punched his arm playfully.

“Its rude to run away when people are talking, Haru-chan,” He pretended to huff.

“...I was giving a demonstration.”

Haruka's reply was so deadpan and sincere that if he didn't know him, Nagisa would have believed him. Instead he burst into laughter to let him know he was forgiven.

“Well then, now that our _demonstration_ is over,” He turned back to Rei, “It's time for the real fun to begin! Let's swim!”

~~ 

To say that Rei was an unmitigated disaster in the water was to make an unfair statement about unmitigated disasters. 

He was a catastrophe from the top of his head, with his non-prescription goggles perched on his hairline, to the bottom of his borrowed bright-yellow speedos which Nagisa insisted fit him just fine. 

After Nagisa had finally been allowed to finish detailing his goals for the day and insisted on some warm-up exercises, they had headed into the water with Rei following behind the other three tentatively. 

His first mistake, Haruka would think later, was not trusting the water from the beginning. He entered it cautiously, like it might bite him if he moved too quickly. To be careful was wise but Rei would only succeed if he didn't resist the water. He had to thrust his fingers into the surface and carve an opening. He had to slide his body through that opening, moving his arms, his head, his chest. Embracing the water was the only way to show respect for it. 

Haruka told him as much as he tip-toed through the sea and received a blank stare in return. 

“Feel the water, Rei,” He urged.

With all the hesitation in the world, Rei lowered his palm under the surface and brought it back up trickling seawater. He stared at it for a moment waiting for a revelation.

“It's.... cold?” He tried as an answer.

Haruka threw him a glare before diving underwater and swimming away. 

Things went from bad to worse when they moved further into the ocean. Rei began to cling to the closest person as the water level rose and left Nagisa with a rather big hand-shaped bruise on his upper arm. It took a minute to pry him off the smaller boy and even longer to convince him to lift his feet from the sandy ground and drift on his back. 

“We're going to take it one step at a time at a time, alright?” Nagisa promised, keeping his hands underneath him as he lay in the water, “All you have to do right now is float! You don't even have to think about that, right? It's just natural!”

“Y-yes,” Rei agreed, with his eyes shut tight, “It's only physics. The higher the density of salt in the water the easier a human body can float.”

“You think if he keeps repeating that to himself he'll believe it?” Rin grumbled.

“Hush, Rin-chan!” Nagisa chastised him, “You're doing great, Rei-chan, you're light as air.”

“As air...” He repeated, as Nagisa slowly removed his hands from his back. 

All three of them watched with bated breath as Rei slowly sank to the seabed. 

There was a moment of silence before he shot back upright spitting out salt water, then everyone started talking at once. 

“Rei-chan! Are you okay, are you hurt?!”

“Like air?! That was not like air, Nagisa-kun! My life flashed before before my eyes!”

“Oh yeah? Did you see the part where you became a huge dweeb?”

“Rin-chan!”

“Rin-san, please!”

Haruka dunked his head under the waves to block out the rabble. If these first few minutes were indicative of how the rest of the lesson was going to go, he would seriously consider going home early. 

When he finally came up for air, the squabbling had stopped and Rin was prodding Rei's arm with a stiff finger.

“-do any other sports?” He was asking him.

“I'm not unfit Rin-san, if that is what you are suggesting,” Rei huffed, “I'm on the track team at our school actually.”

“Ah, well that explains it.”

“Explains what?” 

“Fat floats, muscle doesn't. You're too fit, dumbass!” Rin snapped.   
Rei looked offended at the very idea. 

“Your body isn't used to swimming, that's all he means, Rei-chan,” Nagisa came between them, playing peacekeeper. 

They both gave in to that begrudgingly and began to discuss how to go about the rest of the lesson if Rei's body couldn't handle the fundamentals. 

“What do you think, Haru-chan?” Nagisa turned around to ask him with a hint of desperation cracking through his cheerful mask. 

“Rei should swim free,” Haruka told him in all seriousness, catching Rei's eye to make sure he had heard him.

“Haruka-senpai...” Rei moaned, “I don't know what that means!”

“He's a moron, ignore him,” Rin muttered darkly, eyes downcast.

Rei raised a curious eyebrow at his tone as Nagisa pretended that he hadn't heard him. Haruka lowered his head and let himself frown. The silence stretched between the four of them for an endless moment.

“A-ah! I think I know what Haru-chan means!” Nagisa ventured valiantly, “Rei-chan should try every swimming stroke and see which one suits him best! R-right, Haru-chan?”

Haruka felt a stab of guilt in his gut. He hadn't even wanted Nagisa to know about the disagreement between Rin and himself, never mind that he was being made to feel like he also had to pretend that nothing was wrong. He had put so much effort into this trip, and all so he could share something he loved so much with his new friend. 

Haruka silently swore to make it up to him. 

He started by nodding.

“See!” Nagisa turned back around with triumph in his eyes, “Different strokes for different folks, that's what they say! We'll find one that suits Rei-chan best! You know what all of them are anyway, don't you Rei-chan?”

Rei's sudden smile was full of pride. 

“Naturally! I conducted extensive research on competitive swimming strokes,” He told them, “I certain I can translate that theory into practice!”

He went to adjust his glasses and only remembered when he was awkwardly touching his face that he wasn't wearing them. The blush wiped some of the pride from his expression.

Even Rin seemed to be roused from his funk.

“Alright poindexter, show us what you got,” He said, clapping him on the back.

Rei placed his goggles over his eyes and nodded firmly.

The morning slowly passed in this way, with Haruka, Nagisa and Rin gradually becoming more and more unimpressed at Rei's apparent incapability to swim. 

Every stroke he tried, starting with the front crawl, then moving onto Nagisa's beloved breast-stroke, then to the back-stroke which none of them were overly familiar with, resulted in his technically perfect form not only _not_ moving through the water but sinking just as he did before, slow and almost graceful. 

It wasn't until he had decried the sport loudly while shaking his fists at the sky that they managed to calm him down enough for Rin to coax him into trying the butterfly stroke. 

And that's when they witnessed a miracle. 

At first Rei's attempt seemed to go much like all the others, he didn't move forward but downward, and came back up quickly to try again. Just underneath his breath, the other three could hear him muttering to himself what was the right angle to hold his arms at and how often to kick his legs with each upper body movement. 

Rei tried the stroke again and again, and at a snail's pace, gradually began to propel himself through the water. He was still struggling, still slow, and completely uncoordinated but he was swimming.

He managed to swim a full ten feet away from the three of them before any of them reacted, and it was only when Nagisa's cry of joy startled him that he lost his balance and stood up abruptly.

“Rei-chan! You did it!” 

“I-I did!”

Rei began babbling about how the technical aspects of the stroke helped to keep him grounded and focused his thoughts. Rin, coming up to his side, bragged that naturally Rei would find the stroke _he_ favoured the best. Inbetween congratulating him over and over again, Nagisa suggested that they break for lunch. 

As he passed him on the way back to shore, Haruka gave Rei a small pat on the back, honestly more relieved then anything that they were making some progress. 

It still made a warm feeling bloom in his chest to see the other's boy wide, proud smile, and he couldn't help but think that there was hope for him yet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are several storms and no shelter.
> 
> ~~
> 
> I'm sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright another new chapter, right at the one month deadline! Not bad, considering my track record...
> 
> Fair warning before you begin, this one got pretty damn long, so don't start it if you've got somewhere to be soon.
> 
> Also I put everyone through a lot a crap so mea culpa, especially to Rin. He's still stuck in his season one phase, you'll have to forgive him.
> 
> The good news however is that I've set up a blog exclusively for writing! So if you have any comments/questions/queries/complaints hmu at red-scribbler.tumblr.com! Direct interaction with the audience really helps speed the process along so come and say hi!
> 
> For now, please enjoy~

The morning's bright, blazing sun had been replaced by occasional cloud cover and a sharp breeze that whipped up eddies of sand on the beach. The decrease in water temperature was not enough, however, to disrupt Rei's continuing lessons.

After their shop-bought lunch, Rin mostly coached Rei through the butterfly stroke as Haruka swam near them, lost in his own thoughts, and Nagisa teased them with splashes if he thought they were getting too serious. 

Just as the sun was threatening to dip below the horizon, Nagisa tried to drag Haruka out of the water back to their camp. 

“I'm not done yet,” He protested, floating on his back and keeping his eyes shut.

“But Haru-chan!” Nagisa whined, standing at his head and holding his shoulders to stop him from drifting away, “It's dinnertime and your cooking is so good! Please come make it!”

“No. Still swimming.”

“Haru-chan.....” Nagisa ducked his head down and nuzzled Haruka's forehead, “C'mon, I bought fresh fish and everything...”

Haruka cautiously opened one eye.

“What kind of fish?”

He felt rather than saw Nagisa smile against his head.

“Why, naturally something filling after such a long, hard day of training... I got mackerel, Haru-chan.”

Haruka pushed him away, stood up and immediately made his way back to shore, trying to ignore Nagisa's laughter behind him. He refused to think about how tightly he was wound around the younger boy's finger. 

After sifting through Nagisa's cooler and confirming that he had indeed brought mackerel, he got to work setting up the small portable grill alongside it and doling out portions of the cold, pre-cooked rice Rei had brought with him. 

After a hard-won battle against the sudden wind that had picked up, Haruka's cook-fire was smoldering away nicely and his fish fillets were gaining a nice crisp skin. He prodded them with an expert finger and deemed them nearly done. To his left, Nagisa was haphazardly chopping up vegetables and tossing them into the small steel pot, sitting in the middle of the grill and filled with boiling stock. 

“Haru-chan! It smells so good,” He trilled, delighted.

“Mmm.” 

Haruka couldn't help but agree. It might not have been swimming but when he couldn't relax in the water, cooking made a pretty fine substitute.

Their bubble of peace was popped abruptly by raised voices from the sea.

“Rin-san, for goodness sake, I'm trying my best!”

“Your _best_ isn't good enough! Do it again!”

Rin and Rei were waist-deep in the water and glaring daggers at each other, Rei tugging on his hair in exasperation, Rin with his teeth bared and eyes narrowed.

There was an anger on Rin's face that was so reminiscent of when he had attacked Haruka in Samezuka's pool that he couldn't suppress a shudder. He risked a glance at Nagisa who was already halfway on his feet and looking worriedly between the two of them. 

Rin took a step closer to Rei, who brought his hand down but stood his ground. He looked Rin straight in the eye, without flinching. 

Their poses mirrored each other and neither of them seemed keen to back down. Haruka's mind instantly drew parallels between the two of them, even as it pained him to do so. Rei was the opposite of Rin in many ways but he had the same amount of pride in him, and where Haruka or Nagisa would try to ignore or deflect a confrontation like this, Rei would face it head-on. 

“Rin-san,” He tried again, “I've only just begun swimming, you can't seriously expect me to perform at the level as the three of you!”

“Are you really that unambitious?” Rin countered, “Don't you even want to get better? How are you supposed to do that if you don't push yourself?!”

“You're the only one pushing, Rin-san!” Rei pointed a stiff finger at Rin's chest, “And I don't know what you are trying to do, but it certainly isn't helping me!”

“Oh, and you're the best judge of that are you?” Rin laughed bitterly, "You don't know jack shit, so don't act all high and mighty when the only person who actually knows what he is doing here tells you what to do!”

Rei had opened his mouth to retaliate when Nagisa sprang to his feet and made for the water.

“Guys, guys, c'mon! Cut it out!” He pleaded.

They both turned to look at him, faces still red from yelling and Haruka got a creeping feeling that dropping a panicked Nagisa into that mix of emotions would make things worse before they got better. He resolved to stop them in their tracks before they could even begin.

Haruka stood upright suddenly and called for their attention.

“Hey!!”

All three of them turned to look at him, Nagisa wide-eyed and worried, Rei seemingly and suddenly embarrassed by his own actions, and Rin glared even harder at him than he had at Rei. 

He let them stew for a moment as he met their gazes one by one.

“Dinner's ready,” He announced, “Come eat.”

Then he turned on his heel and began to take the fish off the grill. 

The silence behind him was broken by a nervous chuckle from Nagisa.

“Right, right, let's all just sit down and relax for a little bit.... Okay?” He tried to keep the pleading note out of his voice.

After a moment more, the other two came to shore silently and toweled off before sitting on opposite sides of the grill. Nagisa cautiously placed himself between them as he helped Haruka dish out their meal. 

They all gave thanks for the food but the rest of the meal was taken in silence. Neither Rin nor Rei looked up from their dishes and Nagisa chewed so fast as he shot startled looks between the two of them that Haruka was surprised he didn't chip a tooth. 

He cast his own gaze down to his dinner. The fish, in his opinion, had been cooked to perfection, crumbling away from the bone as soon as it was touched and melting in the mouth. The vegetable broth, for a lack of separate bowls more than anything, had been poured over the pre-cooked rice and brought some much-needed heat and flavour back into it. The scent wafting from the whole thing was divine, especially in comparison to the sharp stench of the sand and the sea. For a dish so improvised, Haruka considered it a definite success.

This fact provided little comfort when the heavy atmosphere between the four of them drooped over the meal and stifled conversation completely. Haruka picked at the mackerel, having lost his appetite the moment Rin and Rei had started yelling at each other.

The wind was still threatening to blow out their small fire and as the strength of the breeze increased, it was starting to succeed. The afternoon's sparse cloud cover had become thicker and darker, coating the beach in long shadows. The residual seawater dripping from their hair had soaked into their bones and, aided by the breeze, made them shiver. The drop in temperature was dramatic in its abruptness.

Haruka did not appreciate the pathetic fallacy.

He wasn't the only one to notice it however. Rei, having finished his meal, had opened and closed his mouth several times by now as if there was something he wanted to say. His gaze darted in-between the other three boys sitting with him and the grey sky, and he reached up to fiddle with the frames of his glasses multiple times. It took far too many iterations of this miming routine before he found his voice. 

“Ah, um, N-Nagisa-kun?” He asked quietly.

Nagisa jumped a foot in the air, shocked to be spoken to at all. 

“What is it?” He yelped, a little too loudly, “What is it, Rei-chan?!”

“Ah...” Rei reared back, startled himself, “It, um, looks like it might rain, doesn't it?”

Nagisa sat back and let his shoulders slump, visibly disappointed at such an ordinary question.

“Oh,” He looked up at the clouds and frowned, “Maybe? It's a little gloomier, I guess?”

“All the weather reports I checked didn't say anything about a storm!” Rei squirmed where he sat, dismayed, “Perhaps we should move the tents away from the shore? The waves seem much higher than before a-and the tide will be coming in late tonight...”

Nagisa laughed, although it was not quite as boisterous as usual and Haruka suspected that he did it just to cut off Rei's babbling.

“Don't be silly, Rei-chan,” He said, “A little rain won't hurt us! Besides, those weather-people are always wrong, aren't they? I think it must be in their contract or something – 'can never get the weather right'.”

He sat up straight suddenly and gasped.

“It's a conspiracy, Rei-chan!” He turned to him with a bright look in his eyes, “Like when they say, it'll be sunny, it rains, so people have to buy those cheap umbrellas you get in convenience stores! All weather-people are in cahoots with cheap-umbrella makers!”

Rei gaped at him for a moment before the tips of his ears turned red and he leaned into Nagisa's space.

“Nagisa-kun, that's preposterous!” He sputtered.

Rei launched into a spiel about meteorologists, and the scientific principles behind weather prediction even as Nagisa continued with his conspiracy theory which now involved a international spy ring. 

In other words, the usual nonsense. 

Haruka couldn't help but be glad. It was a relief to see the pair of them indulge in their usual routine and shrug off the heavy feeling hanging around them. He swallowed down the last of his food and tried to ignore the guilt in his gut that was crying out that he was, however indirectly, the cause of it. 

To his right, Rin was still glaring at his meal like it had personally wronged him and pretending everyone else didn't exist. He scarfed down the last few grains of rice and dropped his bowl back into the pot of left-over stock. Wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, he brought his knees up to his chest and turned to stare at the rough, rolling waves. The movement caught Nagisa's eye and he leaned towards him with a grin.

“What do you think is more likely, Rin-chan?” He asked gleefully, “That weather-guys are using their lighting-fast reflexes to manipulate the clouds or-? Ha! Lighting-fast- Hahaha! I'm hilarious!”

“Nagisa-kun! For the last time!” Rei moaned, leaning forward as well to glare, “You couldn't possible control mass amounts of water vapor without some kind of-”

Nagisa never found out what kind of something could control clouds as Rin turned back suddenly to stare at the pair of them with a horrifyingly blank look. The wind blew his hair wild and messy around his head but his expression was as cold as ice. 

Abruptly he stood, making both Nagisa and Rei flinch backwards. He turned on his heel and, without saying a word or looking back at any of them, began stalking his way down the rougher patch of the beach, further away from the town.

Just like that, the bubble of normalcy Nagisa and Rei had been cultivating popped, and the tense chill from before crept back into their campsite. Haruka pushed back against the twined feelings of anger and guilt that sprung up in his chest. 

The anger, he knew, stemmed from Rin dragging Nagisa into his own maelstrom of emotions when the younger boy not only had nothing to do with them, but was actively trying to plaster over them the only way he knew how, to keep on as though he hadn't noticed them. 

Rei too, although he hadn't helped any by facing Rin's rage head on, was ultimately blameless; whatever Rin was projecting onto his swimming had no root in Rei himself. He was only the unfortunate catalyst for it.

And that was where the guilt seeped in, a thick lump in Haruka's throat. Nagisa and Rei had no idea what the cause of this explosion of fury could be, while he knew all too well. 

In the end, it was all his fault. Rin had been hiding his anger at Haruka all day and when suppressing it had become too much, he had lashed out at the person unlucky enough to be closest to him. Haruka couldn't help but wonder if he had tried to talk to him earlier whether or not all of this could have been avoided.

It was only when Rin was nearly out of sight, a speck of red on the horizon, that Rei suddenly let out a quiet groan. Haruka turned to see him lowering his face into his hands despairingly.

“Nagisa-kun... Haruka-senpai...” He mumbled, “I-I'm so sorry...”

Haruka winced at the hurt in his voice but the over-bearing guilt stuck in him, killing any words of comfort.

Mercifully, Nagisa was not as reticent.

“Rei-chan!” He chastised him immediately, “You have nothing to say sorry for! You didn't do anything wrong! Right, Haru-chan?” 

Nagisa turned to him with worry stark on his face and he nodded his head vigorously, hoping his expression could convey what his voice would not. 

Rei lay his hands down in his lap but didn't raise his head. 

“I... I shouldn't have lost my temper with Rin-san...” He tried to argue weakly.

“Rin-chan shouldn't have yelled at you either!” Nagisa snapped, before he shuffled closer to Rei and put a hand on his shoulder, “What... what were you guys talking about anyway?” He asked in a far softer voice.

Rei sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“We were... I was swimming and Rin-san was critiquing my technique...” He explained quietly, “He was telling me how I could improve the stroke but then he started demanding more and more from me, and trying to get me to swim in ways I had never heard of, and I, I tried to explain that I wasn't sure if I could swim in a way that seemed so advanced so soon...” Rei seemed to shrink further into himself, “Rin-san kept insisting and pushing, so I put my foot down and said no outright and... Well, you both heard what came of _that_.”

The guilt and upset on his face were both misplaced and too much for Haruka to bear. He let his own gaze fall to the ground. He knew Rei, as a new face among childhood friends, was uncertain enough about his place with the three of them, not to mention the fact that he was entirely out of his comfort zone in agreeing to learn how to swim in the first place. To be fighting with Rin like this was the last thing his confidence needed.

“I didn't mean to upset him...” Rei whimpered, sounding so small.

Nagisa pulled him into a hug and squeezed him tight.

“I don't think it was you, Rei-chan,” He tried to reassure him, “Rin-chan has been in a weird mood all day. Hasn't he, Haru-chan?”

This last question had something pointed in it and Haruka lifted his gaze to see Nagisa giving him a look that wasn't quite sharp enough to be accusing but close enough to it that it made him queasy. He knew what Nagisa was really asking him for and it wasn't confirmation of Rin's strange humour.

Deep in his core, Haruka knew he was not ready for this. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know how he would handle the high-tension running between them, he didn't know how or even if he could keep control of his own feelings.

What Haruka did know was that he didn't have a choice. His unwillingness to take action had, once again, caused more than one friend to become hurt and the luxury of choice had been taken away from him. 

He reached behind him and pulled a light blue hoodie out of his duffle bag. He shivered as he pulled it over his head and stood up. The chill in the air had only gotten worse. He looked over to his underclassmen, Nagisa still with his arms around Rei. His expression had morphed into something resembling relief when Haruka had stood up. Rei had also noticed the movement, but seemed confused.

“Haruka-senpai, where are you going?” He asked, voice still soft and sad. 

Haruka turned to face towards the stretch of sand that lead away from civilization and began to walk.

“To talk to Rin,” He answered firmly.

~~

Despite his head-start of only a few scant minutes, Rin had actually managed to cover quite some distance. Haruka found himself clambering over loose boulders and scuttering through silt as he tried to catch up. 

The trail had led him to a long beach, more rock than sand, with tufts of long grass jutting toward the sky at seemingly random intervals. It wasn't a new sight to him. This beach and the multitude of others like it were exactly the kind of places that his work took him when he was sent to trawl the coast for washed-up debris. As Haruka made his way across the rough stretch of land however, he realised that the view around him was even more familiar than expected. With a lurch, he recognised it as the last lonely distance he had to travel before reaching the cove where he had first found Makoto. 

He had been so focused on tracking Rin that he hadn't noticed his feet following the route he had taken almost every day for over a month. Up ahead, about 20 feet in front of him, he could see the sharp outcrop of rock that marked the border between Makoto's sanctuary and the rest of the world. Rin, sitting slumped on a large loose stone, was leaning up against it petulantly.

Haruka sent a quiet prayer up to whoever was listening that, whatever came of the next few minutes, Rin would stay where he was and not try to move beyond his impromptu backrest. 

Which only left Haruka with the not insignificant problem of how to actually approach him. If Rin saw him too soon, he might try to make a run for it with would be a disaster for more reasons than one. If he snuck up on him however, Haruka could only imagine the volatile reaction that would warrant. 

He settled for moving forward, quietly and slowly for about ten feet, before walking steadily onward much like he had when he had first seen Makoto in the inlet just beyond them, deliberately making noise to catch his attention. 

The gamble paid off. Rin looked up at the sound of his approaching footsteps and, seeing Haruka only a stone's throw away from him, merely scowled and hunched in over himself. He turned his head away to glare at the sea. 

Haruka waited a moment just to make sure Rin wouldn't bolt, then cautiously moved to stand beside him, leaning his weight against the stony barricade and taking a deep breath. He knew he would have to open the conversation delicately if he wanted it to go well for everyone involved.

“It was stupid to yell at Rei,” Were the words that slipped out of him. 

Delicacy had never been Haruka's strong suit. 

Even as he winced a little at his own bluntness, he saw Rin's shoulders rise further up and watched him pull his knees to his chest. He still hadn't turned to look at Haruka. 

“He has no ambition,” Rin grumbled but there was no heat in his words, it sounded like more of an excuse than a condemnation.

“He's only just started,” Haruka countered, equally lackluster; the last thing he wanted was to start another fight over this. 

Rin shrugged where he sat, rolling his shoulders in discomfort.

“He asked me to train him, and that's what I'm doing!”He complained, glaring at nothing, ““He's too stubborn to listen... too much pride...” 

Haruka stayed silent, hoping Rin was or had already noticed the obvious parallels between student and teacher. If he had, Haruka held a sneaking suspicion that it might have been one of the things to set him off in the first place.

He kept holding his tongue as he watched Rin chew over the situation. He kept shuffling in his agitation, bringing his legs down to stretch them before drawing them back up again, his gaze continuously flickering between the water, the shore and heavy, dark sky. 

Eventually he let out a quiet sigh. 

“I'm just trying to help...” He spoke to the ground, “...I'll talk to him about it, properly y'know?”

Haruka nodded his approval. He also wanted to suggest that Rin apologise to Nagisa but felt that trying to tell him to do anything at this point would be pushing his luck. 

As silence wove its way around them, a harsh breeze picked up. Haruka couldn't hold back a shiver and pulled the zipper of his hoodie up as high as it would go. He guessed that it was time for the sun to just about set, but with the thick clouds overhead it was impossible to say for certain.

“You can go now, by the way,” Rin suddenly said, sitting up straight again and giving him a sharp look.

The confusion on his face must have been clear as Rin let out an exaggerated sigh and ran his hand through his hair. 

“You got what you came here for, didn't you?” He sneered, “You're weird staring-me-out-of-it guilt trip worked. Go back to the others.” 

He turned back to look at the sea with a sense of finality. Haruka frowned. As if Rin thought he would ever let it be that easy.

“That's not the only reason I followed you,” Haruka told him, “Rin... we have to talk.”

The effect of his words was immediate. Rin's shoulders instantly shot up again, and one foot started tapping rapidly against the stones that littered the beach. 

“We don't,” Rin spat, “Have to _talk_. Go back.” 

Each word came out clipped and commanding. Rin, it seemed, knew exactly what Haruka was hinting at and it was evident that his fury over it hadn't abated. Rather than being put off, Haruka couldn't help but be relieved. It was good to know he hadn't been the only one brooding about it. 

The feeling gave him the small burst of confidence needed to walk around to the shoreline and stand directly in Rin's line of sight. Rin meet his gaze for a brief instant with a glare before lowering his head to direct it at the sand. He held one hand tightly in the other, continuously opening and closing his fist around it.

“Haru,” He growled, a warning in every inch of him, “ _Leave_.”

“We,” Haruka emphasised, squaring his shoulders, “ _Need_ to talk.”

Rin shot to his feet suddenly, using the few extra inches he had on Haruka to rear over him. Haruka took a page from his underclassman's book and stood his ground. If he lost his nerve now, he wasn't sure if he would ever find it again. 

It was clear, however, that his persistence had cracked through the mask Rin had been wearing all day. He was giving Haruka the same look he had that day at Samezuka's pool, hurt and rage flooding his expression as he seethed. This time Haruka had been expecting it and he stared back steadily. 

He watched as Rin's facial features slowed morphed into a sneer. He sat back on his heels and threw Haruka a look that held disdain more than anything else. 

“Alright then, Haru-ka,” He said, spewing out the last syllable like it was dirt, “Enlighten me then. What exactly do we _need_ to talk about?”

That threw him for a loop. 

For all the agonizing he had done over Rin's odd behaviour, for the the time he spent wondering if the other boy had thought about hurting him when he had practically grabbed him by the throat in Samezuka's pool, Haruka still had no clue as to what the underlying cause of all Rin's anger was. All he knew was that it revolved around him. 

His silence was evidently enough of an answer for Rin to understand. He chuckled humourlessly and shook his head.

“I thought so,” He said quietly, “You don't even know what the hell you're trying to say. Not that that's anything new.” 

Haruka couldn't help the coil of anger that unfurled in him. He might have been the indirect cause of whatever had Rin's hackles raising every time they came into contact but the redhead wasn't helping by trying to bite his head off without explanation. Haruka was getting sick of being confused and worried over it, and he wasn't about to accept the blame for Rin's attitude. 

“Because I don't understand what you are trying to do, Rin!” He lashed out, letting the anger strengthen his voice and work his hands into fists, “You act like everything's fine, then you attack me, and now you're taking whatever this is out on other people who have nothing to do with it! What do you expect me to say when you won't even try to explain yourself?”

Rin leaned back into his space again, his sneer now fixed into a forced grin. 

“You know, I think that's the most words I've ever heard you say?” He laughed without humour, before taking a step back and turning away. 

Rin cast his eye down the beach, back the way he had come, and considered it in silence. One foot shifted as if he was thinking about walking away. Haruka froze at the sight. Some deep instinct buried in the recesses of his mind screamed at him that if Rin left now that everything would be over. He would not get another chance like this, of that he felt certain.

Before he could make a move to stop him however, Rin began to speak again.

“What makes you think I owe you an explanation anyway?” He murmured tiredly, far more quiet than he had been before.

If he had intended the question to be rhetorical that was just too bad, because Haruka actually had an answer for him this time.

“You wanted me to,” He told him, stepping into the space Rin had left. 

“Huh?”

That caught his attention, and Rin turned back to him with surprise erasing the weariness from his expression.

“At Samezuka's pool,” Haruka pushed on, expelling his words as quickly as he could, praying the other would understand, “After the race, you looked at me like you wanted something. Like you wanted me to ask about what had just happened, about what was wrong with you, and... and...” The hairs on the back of neck rose as he paused, “And about.... Australia.”

The instant before it happened, Haruka was suddenly struck with the sense that a line had been crossed. This feeling was confirmed as Rin turned on him, utter rage in his eyes and threw him against the rocky border to the side of them. Haruka just about caught himself before his skull bounced off the stone but before he could recover his balance, Rin slammed his hand down by the side of his head and leaned down on him. The anger in him was scalding now, although by this point enough of a familiar sight that Haruka could still look him in the eye.

“Oh, I asked did I?” He barked with venom in his tone, “You seem awfully sure about that, Nanase... So y'know what? Fine! You really want to know? Fine!!”

Haruka didn't dare to breathe. 

“If you want to know what's 'wrong' so badly...” Rin's voice suddenly dropped in volume, “Swim for me.”

The rocks against Haruka's back were digging into every soft corner of his body that they could reach. A sharp wind blew between the pair of them and he shivered.

“...what?”

“Swim for me,” Rin demanded again, a new-found strength in his words, “Make a swim club in your school, you have Nagisa, and now Rei if he ever gets any better... You can probably find a fourth member somewhere... Sign up for tournaments and race! Compete against me properly, Haru! Then...” The arm by Haruka's head was shaking, “Then maybe you'll understand!”

It took everything Haruka had in that moment to not take a swing at him. 

Sheer outrage overloaded his system and for a moment his vision seemed to black out. All he could hear was his own shallow breath and all he could feel was his heart beating a bruise against his chest. 

The second after the shock faded, however, he realised that he wasn't actually surprised. Of course this was what it came down to. Of course Rin wanted him to swim. Nothing but that seemed to have any consequence for him. But it wouldn't help. Deep in his bones Haruka felt that to be true. From their race in middle school to clashing in Samezuka's pool, and even with Rei's lessons, swimming had only caused more and more problems. The water was supposed to be his safe space, but swimming with Rin took that from him. And here he was trying to do it again. Trying to bind something that was meant to be free. 

Rin's arm was still shaking next to his head. The look in his eye, when Haruka met it again, was more desperate than anything. Haruka took in a breath and crushed the feelings bubbling in him deep down so he could speak without his voice cracking.

“No.”

Rin actually flinched.

“What did you say?” He wheezed.

“I said no.”

He placed a firm hand on Rin's arm and pushed it off the wall.

“I will not swim for you,” He emphasised clearly, “I don't swim _for_ anyone. I only swim fr-”

“Don't say it!” He screeched, backing away from him, “Don't fucking say it!”

They glared at each other for a full minute, panting heavily, before Rin broke eye contact and let out a harsh laugh.

“Typical,” He said bitterly, “This is so typical of you. I give you a straight answer and you throw it back in my face.”

“That was not an answer,” Haruka countered, “And you can't just tell me what to do without any good reason and expect me to do it! We're not kids anymore, Rin!”

Something other than anger passed over Rin in a flash as he looked him over, a fleeting shadow of emotion that Haruka couldn't quite catch. 

“I guess you're right.”

The shadow entered his tone as well, briefly, before fleeing again.

Rin looked away from him completely then, staring out over the rolling waves. His shoulders slumped and he shoved his hands into his pockets. As the silence grew between them, Haruka felt the tension slip out of his body and he leaned back against the rocks, exhausted. After another moment, Rin stood upright and spoke, without turning back to him. 

“I'll make you swim for me,” He spoke as if to himself, making it sound like a promise, “We'll compete together again.”

He swiveled around abruptly to look him in the eye. That unfamiliar emotion was back in his expression again, tinged with desperation. 

“Or else...” He trailed off without finishing, as though the alternative was too terrible to voice. 

Haruka only stared at him, letting his previous words speak for him. Rin kept his gaze up for a beat longer before dropping it and turning his back on Haruka completely.

“I'm heading back first then,” He pronounced his words clearly and calmly, as if to banish his previous outburst of emotions. 

Haruka watched every step he took as he walked away from him, back towards their campsite, not even daring to blink before he disappeared from his sight completely. It was only when the top of Rin's head vanished below the horizon that he let his eyes drift shut. All the strength seemed to seep out of his body as his legs gave way underneath him and he sank to the ground. Haruka let his head loll back as his rested his arms on his bent knees. He was so tired. 

He sat there without regard for time as he let Rin's words roll around in his head. Each time he recalled his demand he felt like hands were slowly wrapping around his neck. After an eternity he let his eyes drift open to look at the sky. It was even darker than before, clouds hanging heavy above him. 

Suddenly, foolishly, he wished Makoto were beside him. He wished he could climb over the barrier of stone he was leaning on and leave the world at large behind. He could only picture the look on the merman's face, torn between worry and welcome. His huge body would block out the chill of the wind while Haruka could lay down on the sand and maybe find peace for a while. 

Until Makoto would ask him about his day, out of politeness and genuine interest in equal turns. Haruka knew without even having to think about it that he would tell Makoto the truth. He was, Haruka found, incredibly difficult to lie to. Once he had, Makoto would convince him to go back, to face the world and all its troubles. He wouldn't force, wouldn't push, but his quiet words and tender eyes would drive up a kind of shame in Haruka for not trying to match the bravery of his friend. Makoto was doing the same thing after all, albeit in a very different way. 

He still couldn't help the temptation of wanting to catch a glimpse of his smile.

He shoved the thought away with a long sigh. He needed to focus on what came next. Regardless of what it would be, he needed to face it looking forward. 

Haruka stood up and brushed the sand off of his jammers. He shook his arms and legs to work out the stiffness in them and rolled his shoulders back and forth. Despite these exercises, he couldn't shrug off the heavy sensation that what had happened on this stretch of rough sand and hard stone couldn't be undone. 

~~

“Haru-chan!! Where the heck have you been? I was starting to think Rin-chan ate you!”

Haruka couldn't help but think that Nagisa's worries weren't far off the mark. 

“Where is Rin?” He asked as Nagisa met him halfway when he shuffled back into their campsite.

He had already changed into his pajamas, a baggy t-shirt over high-waisted shorts. With the dark sky overhead, Haruka couldn't tell if Nagisa had just decided to change early or if it was already late enough to sleep.

“In the orange tent,” He explained, jerking a thumb over his shoulder, “He said he wanted to turn in now, he looked super-tired when he got back...” 

Haruka let the unspoken question hang between them unacknowledged. Nagisa mercifully picked up on his mood and continued hastily.

“Oh! Before he went in, he apologised to Rei-chan though!”

“He did?” Haruka couldn't hold back his surprise and Nagisa laughed at his expression.

“I know! He walked right up to him and said,” Nagisa's voice dropped a few comical octaves, “'I'll adjust my training menu so you catch up. You'll be an expert in no time!'”

Haruka waited expectantly for a moment for him to continue before realising he was done.

“That's not an apology,” He frowned.

Nagisa waved him off.

“It's fine, it's fine. Rin-chan really does want to help Rei-chan y'know. And considering the huff he was in when he got back, I think it's the best we're going to get from him right now.”

Again, Haruka ignored the bait Nagisa left dangling. 

“Where is Rei?” He asked instead, looking around for him.

He heard something close to a sigh come from Nagisa before he spoke up.

“Over there.” 

He pointed to a spot a good distance away from them where Haruka could see Rei at the edge of the beach, letting the waves move in around him. He sat with his arms wrapped around his knees, staring at nothing. He hadn't changed out of his swimsuit.

“He didn't want to get in the tent until you got back,” Nagisa explained, “Me neither.”

Haruka pushed down the pang of guilt.

“Sorry to make you wait,” He murmured.

“It's okay, Haru-chan,” Nagisa said with a kind smile, bumping his arm lightly, “Do me a favour though?”

Haruka nodded immediately. He had a lot to make up for. 

“Can you go get him?” Nagisa asked, “It's night already and we have to sort out who is sleeping where...” 

Nagisa began to wander back towards the tents muttering half to himself.

“Plus, Rei-chan was right, it'll rain soon... Ah!” He whirled around quickly, pointing straight at Haruka, “Don't tell him I said that!”

Haruka felt himself smile a little.

“Promise,” He nodded.

Nagisa nodded back firmly, before walking to the tents and ducking inside the yellow one. 

Haruka watched the flap of the tent flutter in the wind before he began to make his way over to Rei. The younger boy had his head down as he approached. He had taken his glasses off again and Haruka couldn't quite put a name to the expression on his face. Although if the purple bags under his eyes were any indicator, he could guess that exhaustion had a hand in it. 

It wasn't until he was standing a foot away from him and cleared his throat slightly that Rei even noticed that he was there. Rei jumped at the slight sound and looked around wildly until his gaze settled on Haruka with a sharp squint.

“Ha-Haruka-senpai?!” He squawked.

“Yeah,” He hoped Rei's vision was bad enough that he couldn't see the smirk his reaction caused.

“Ah! Pardon me.”

Rei began to pat the sand down to both sides of where he sat until he found the glasses he had put down. He found them to the opposite side of where Haruka was and hastily shoved them on. He looked back up to where he stood, valiantly ignoring the sand particles trickling down the bridge of his nose.

“How can I help you senpai?” He asked, still a little breathless. 

Haruka opened his mouth to tell him Nagisa's request but he paused as Rei looked at him face-on.

There was something deeper than simple tiredness hanging over him. An old familiar voice in his head told him that if Rei had to sit away from the others to avoid showing them that face then it was probably none of Haruka's business. He immediately disregarded it. Haruka was too well-acquainted with avoidance tactics. 

He nodded to the spot he was standing on.

“Can I?”

It took Rei a moment to get it. When he did, his cheeks flushed pink and he nodded vigorously.

“O-of course!”

Haruka kneeled down with a thump and a sigh. He was looking forward to sleeping although he knew even now, just from sitting on the stony shore, that lying in a tent wouldn't be the most comfortable experience. He looked out to the sea. The waves were rougher than ever as the wind blew them to and fro. Haruka couldn't tell if the tiny drops of water he could feel flicking against his face were from the wild spray or from the oncoming rain. 

Rei was as restless as the water. With Haruka beside him, he squirmed on the sand and cast fitful glances at his upperclassman. His previous weariness had been replaced by a hyper-awareness of the person beside him. Haruka held back another sigh. He felt that the last thing either of them needed right now was _that_ kind of focus. After a moment of silence, and after he realised Rei wasn't actually going to actually do anything but shuffle awkwardly, he spoke up. 

“Are you okay?” Haruka asked, twisting to look him in the eye.

Rei instantly stilled, staring at him. All that frantic energy seeped out of him as easily as it has come upon him as his shoulders slumped.

“...you as well, Haruka-senpai?” He muttered, exhaustion creeping back into his tone. 

Haruka cocked an eyebrow. 

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei told him as an answer, “He's been asking me that in some variation every few minutes since you left.” 

Rei looked back past him and Haruka turned his head to follow his line of sight. He could see Nagisa in the distance, waging battle with a plastic sheet that he was trying to lay on top of the yellow tent. The wind kept almost snatching it out of his grip and from where he was Haruka could just about about hear him cursing every weatherman in existence. 

When he turned back to Rei, there was a worn smile on his face. It disappeared when he made eye contact with Haruka again. 

“I didn't mean to cause you all so much worry,” He murmured, “I'm sorry.”

“You don't have to apologise,” Haruka said, “You didn't- What happened before wasn't your fault. Nagisa already told you that.”

“Still,” Rei leaned forward again, resting his chin on his bent knees, “If I hadn't reacted the way I did, Rin-san wouldn't have stormed off... You wouldn't have had to go looking for him. I... I keep causing trouble.”

“No,” Haruka denied it immediately, “Rin was already...” 

He took a deep breath to steady himself. He had to get that despairing look off of Rei's face and if this is how it had to be done, Haruka was ready to accept the consequences. 

“Rin and I are fighting,” He explained, looking at his feet, “He put his anger at me to one side so he could teach you but he ended up blowing up anyway. What happened today was my fault not anyone else's.”

Rei's face was blank with shock.

“I... um... I'm sorry, I didn't even realise,” He stuttered, “Um... can I ask what hap-?”

“No,” Haruka interrupted him harshly, then sighed as he flinched, “I don't.... understand fully myself yet. He won't talk to me about it. ...Please don't tell him that I told you.”

Rei nodded rapidly.

“Please don't tell Nagisa either.” 

Another, slightly less enthusiastic, nod.

Oddly, Haruka's heart felt a little lighter having admitted it. It was a relief to not keep his unhappiness to himself.

“I'm sorry we ruined your lesson,” He apologised to Rei after a moment.

To his surprise, Rei actually laughed. He was sitting up straight now, as though Haruka's confession had relieved him of his own burden.

“Nothing was ruined, Haruka-senpai,” He assured him, “I certainly learned a lot more than I expected to.”

“Yeah,” Haruka couldn't help but agree, “This morning you couldn't even swim.” It was an odd thought.

Rei had lasped back into silence but Haruka could tell just from looking at him, that this was his usual contemplative state rather than any form of brooding.

“I want to get better, Haruka-senpai, I really do,” He said softly.

“You've only started,” Haruka reminded him, “You don't have to push yourself so hard.”  
Rei chewed that over for a minute.

“Rin-san said he would adapt the training schedule he uses at school for me, to help bring up my stamina and things like that,” He mentioned offhandedly.

Haruka nodded.

“Nagisa mentioned that,” He said, “But Rin's way of swimming is only one way of swimming... You should swim free, Rei.”

“Haruka-senpai...” Rei moaned, “You know I don't know what that means.”

Fortunately for them both, Haruka had been thinking about it.

“It means that you should swim your way, not anyone else's,” He explained, “Rin's methods... they'll help, probably, but you'll only get better if you work with the water in a way that suits you.”

Rei frowned like he was thinking over this advice very deeply.

“You just need practice,” Haruka tried to simplify it.

Rei agreed with a hum. 

“I'll... practice more,” He promised, “I'll get better, and show you all it was worth your time to teach me!”

“Rei...” It was Haruka's turn to moan, “You don't have to prove anything,” He hurried on as Rei opened his mouth to protest, “I know today didn't turn out the way anyone really expected, but we're all happy to help our friend, you know that don't you?”

Rei froze in stunned silence again. When he melted out of it, there was a warmth in his eyes that there hadn't been since he had first gotten into the water that morning.

“H-Haruka-senpai...”

Haruka looked away suddenly, his face a little hot. He stood up, tapping Rei in the shoulder as he did. 

“Nagisa wants us back at the tents,” He finally told him, “It's time to sleep.”

Rei blinked away the sudden moisture in his eyes and nodded vigorously.

“Yes!”

~~

“Jeez, take a little longer why don't you? It's freezing, you guys!”

Rei bristled as they walked up to Nagisa who, having finally conquered the plastic rain cover, greeted them in this way.

“I'm sorry, Nagisa-kun, but I did tell you the weather looked like it was going to get worse,” He sniffed.

“So what the heck were you moping around on the shore for? You're all wet!” Nagisa complained.

Rei looked down his nose at him and opened his mouth to retort but Haruka physically stepped in front of him to halt the conversation. There was nothing unusual about their playful banter but it could be a long time before either of them conceded the point and it had been a very long day.

“Nagisa,” He spoke firmly to get his full attention, “Where are we sleeping?”

“Oh yeah!” He instantly brightened up, “I sorted that out while you two had your little gossip.”

“It wasn't gossip, Nagisa-kun!” Rei tried to protest.

“I'm sleeping with Haru-chan!” Nagisa trilled, ignoring him in favour of clinging to Haruka's arm, “And Rei-chan's in with Rin-chan.”

“Ah,” Rei deflated completely, “I-is that really a good idea, Nagisa-kun?”

Haruka couldn't help but share his doubts.

“It's fine, it's fine,” Nagisa reassured him, “He ought to be asleep by now... Besides,” He continued in a much softer tone, “I know he didn't say it, but I can tell Rin-chan really does feel bad about what happened earlier. He doesn't want you to be uncomfortable, Rei-chan.”

Rei eyed the orange tent with trepidation.

“We should swap,” Haruka offered, trying to shake Nagisa off his arm.

“But Haru-chan! It'll be good for them!” Nagisa protested, “And Rei-chan looks like the kind of guy who grinds his teeth in his sleep!”

“Oh! I most certainly do not!” Rei huffed, shooting him a glare. 

“Nagisa,” Haruka made it sound like a warning.

That made him settle down a bit and he lowered his head abashed.

“...Okay, Rei-chan, we can swa-”

“No,” Rei interrupted, “That's alright.”

They looked to him startled. Rei was smiling determinedly.

“I understand, Nagisa-kun, everything will be fine,” He said, before looking Haruka straight in the eye, “I'll... do this my way.”

And with only that, and a firm nod, he bid them goodnight and ducked into the tent where Rin had already occupied. 

Nagisa and Haruka shared a bemused look before a fat raindrop plopped onto Nagisa's forehead and broke their concentration.

“Ah! Now it really is raining! Haru-chan, c'mon!”

With one last glance over his shoulder to where Rei had disappeared, Haruka let Nagisa pull him into their own shelter.

The sound of the wind was amplified to a harsh degree but the yellow tent was dry and relatively warmer. Nagisa had already laid out both of their sleeping gear, and Haruka's pajamas had been taken out of his bag and folded onto his pillow. He cast the younger boy a sideways look. 

“You guys were talking for a long time,” Nagisa said in lieu of an explanation. 

Haruka brushed him off properly and began to change out of his swimwear, while Nagisa cracked a joke about how much he charged for the show. It wasn't until he lay down in his sleeping bag and shut his eyes that he realised that that was all Nagisa had said to him since they had got in. He was unnaturally quiet as he lay at Haruka's side, and the hiss of rain above their heads was becoming deafening. 

As the twilight that was barely hanging on outside gradually died away, and the tent's interior grew dark, Haruka felt a choking apprehension creep over him. He counted the minutes as he waited for the inevitable.

After seven of them, it came. A slight shuffle as Nagisa leaned a little more towards him and a small intake of breath just before he spoke. 

“Haru-chan,” He whispered, “What's going on with you and Rin-chan?” 

There it was.

Haruka knew that out of all of them, he owed Nagisa an answer the most. He had tried to ignore what he had seen and give Haruka space to sort things out by himself. Now that is was clear that he had failed, all Nagisa wanted to do was reach out and help. Haruka couldn't fault him for that.

But he was heavy with aches both physical and mental, and he just couldn't bear the thought of another interrogation today. With guilt flooding his system, he turned on his side away from the other boy. 

As expected, Nagisa was prepared for that. With a significantly louder, “Oh no you don't!” Nagisa suddenly rolled on top of him and shone an industrial-strength flashlight in his face.

“Ah!” He moaned, trying to tug the sleeping bag over his head, “Nagisa!”

“Haru-chan!” He spat back, equally exasperated, “Be fair! I gave you space because I know how much you need it but when Rin-chan got back he looked worse then when he left! And so did you! And you've both been so weird all day! And Rei-chan got all worked up too and I couldn't do anything to help him! And no-one will talk to me about it, a-and... I'm, I'm getting scared, Haru-chan...”

His volume got lower as he went on and with his last words, Haruka could hear tears in his voice. He cracked open an eyelid and squinted past the glaring light to look at him. Nagisa's face was completely drawn, the worry he had been hiding all day finally plain to see. His eyes were bright with unshed water. Haruka's will crumbled in a instant. 

“Fine,” He heaved a sigh, “Turn that off and go over to your side.”

Nagisa gave him a weak smile before he switched the light off and vanished into the gloom. Haruka felt the weight shift off of his torso. He blinked quickly to get his night-vision back and when he did, he saw Nagisa sitting up right on his bedspread and waiting patiently. 

Haruka huffed and sat up straight as well. He played with the zipper on his sleeping back as he spoke.

“Rin and I are fighting,” He murmured.

“Obviously,” Nagisa scoffed, “I could work that much for myself, Haru-chan. What are you fighting about?”

Haruka frowned and turned his head to the side.

“It's a long story,” He said. 

Nagisa shuffled closer to him.

“We've got time.”

Haruka rubbed a hand along his temple.

“Nagisa...” He groaned, “It's too late for this...”

He froze when he felt a hand on top of his. Nagisa was giving him the best imploring look that he could.

“Haru-chan... I'm sorry but I really am worried about you...” He begged.

Haruka made the mistake of looking him in the eye. As soon as he caught a glimpse of his puppy-dog eyes, he relented completely.

“Just... Just give me a moment,” He pleaded, “It's... it's not easy...”

Nagisa gave his hand a squeeze.

“Take your time,” He said with a soft smile.

After a number of false starts and many long, drawn out pauses, he ended up telling Nagisa everything. From his clash with Rin in Samezuka's pool to their argument that evening, he spelled out all the worries and misgivings he had had about Rin since he had come back from Australia. 

Nagisa sat back as he finished, taking it all in in silence.

“Sorry,” Haruka mumbled after he got his breath back, “It's a lot to think about.”

Nagisa shook his head slowly before raising his head to look at him. 

“Haru-chan, I'm so sorry, I didn't even realise...”

Haruka shrugged. 

“I didn't really want people to know.”

Nagisa sat up straight suddenly, determination blazing in his eyes.

“Well now I do! And now that I do, first thing in the morning, I'm going to march right up to Rin-chan and say-!” He spouted before Haruka leaned forward and grabbed him by the shoulders.

“No,” He said firmly, “You can't let him know I told you, no matter what.”

“But Haru-chan, I have to do something!” He protested.

“No!” Haruka pushed his shoulders down, “If he knows I've told people, it will only make things worse and I... I don't want him getting mad at you too! Please!”

If Rin started treating Nagisa the way he treated him, he didn't think his conscience could bear it. 

The desperation must have shown on his face as Nagisa patted the hands on his shoulders reassuringly. 

“Okay, Haru-chan, okay. I'll keep quiet for now,” He promised, “Take it easy okay?”

Haruka gradually wound down and let Nagisa go. He flopped back down to his makeshift bed with a little moan. The truth had taken even more out of him than he thought it would. Nagisa threw himself back onto his pile of blankets as well and snuggled down. Haruka let his eyes drift shut and finally allowed himself to think about actually getting some rest. 

“Haru-chan,” A hiss in his ear.

“Uuugghhhh.”

“Everything will work out in the end, right?”

His eyes shot open. 

Nagisa's head was right beside his, gazing at him imploringly.

“What do you mean?” He whispered.

“I mean, I know you don't want to swim for Rin-chan, and I'm not saying you have to but... We'll have to come up with something that will make everybody happy, okay?” Nagisa said quietly.

Haruka only stared at him, wondering if such an easy solution existed.

“I'll help!” Nagisa chirped, “I'll try to get Rin-chan to talk to me the way you have, and once Rei-chan is back in his good books, he can help me!”

“Nagisa...” Haruka frowned. 

“It's fine, it's fine, I won't let on that you told me anything,” He batted away Haruka's unspoken complaints, “I... I really want you guys to be okay again. Please let me try Haru-chan, please?”

Haruka had already given in before he finished talking. He held out his pinkie finger to him.

“We'll both try,” He whispered.

It was easy to make out Nagisa's huge grin in the darkness, and he hooked his little finger around Haruka's with unbridled glee.

“Yes!” He promised, still grinning.

He didn't let go even as he bid Haruka a bright goodnight. The older boy thought about the effort it would take to unhook his finger and decided to let him get away with it for once.

“'Night, Nagisa.”

~~

His sleep was light but mercifully dreamless. 

A clap of thunder startled him out of it in an instant. It took a moment of severe reorienting before he remembered why he was lying beside Nagisa in a tent with a sharp stone poking through the thin fabric into his back. Even as the events of the previous day filtered back into his waking mind, his body clock was telling him that it was far too early to be dealing with them. He looked to his right to see Nagisa peacefully drooling on his pillow. His hand lay close to Haruka's own outstretched one and just above them, his pastel pink phone was balanced on the clothes he had worn yesterday. Haruka reached up and grabbed it, pressing the button at the bottom to check the time. 

He ignored Nagisa's new lock-screen picture, a bright-red Rei standing in the ocean, his borrowed swimsuit dripping wet and clinging to him, and looked at the four digits at the top of the screen. It was a little after three in the morning. He had a good handful of hours to get some proper shut-eye and he fully intended to use them. He put Nagisa's phone back in its place and shut his eyes again.

The black behind his eyelids lit up for a brief flash and a few seconds after that, he heard another rumble of thunder. He listened to the rain for a minute more, the sound of a thousand fingertips drumming on the canvas overhead, and concluded that Rei's prediction of rain had been too conservative an estimate. A full-on storm sounded like it was raging outside and he sent a weary mental thank you over to Nagisa for putting the plastic tarp over the roof of the tent earlier. He could only imagine how wet they might be getting right now without it, and they were sleeping rough enough as it was. He pushed the thoughts aside and tried to settle down. Warm and tucked away from it, the weather didn't warrant a second thought from him. 

The minutes ticked passed and Haruka had just about drifted off to the realm of unconsciousness when another explosion came from outside of their tent. It made him pull himself out of his half-sleep and sit upright for two increasingly important reasons. 

The first was that the noise seemed to be coming from right outside their tent. The second was that the explosion had been a human voice cursing a blue streak. 

Haruka leaned forward to strain his ears as the swears continued. After a second, he knew that he was listening to Rin's voice. A soft confused noise came from his side and he knew he wasn't the only one who had heard. He turned to see Nagisa sitting up and rubbing his eyes in the half-light. His hair was standing in every direction at once, and he yawned wide enough that it looked like his jaw was going to split in half. 

“Haru-chan...” He mumbled sleepily, “Wass goin' on?”

Before Haruka had a chance to tell him he didn't know, the tent flap was suddenly ripped open and Rin stuck his head in, bringing the wind and the cold with him.

“Get up!” He screamed, “Get up, you idiots, get up!!”

They didn't even have time to blink before he was gone again, leaving the open tent flap to whip in the wind. Haruka and Nagisa exchanged a single stunned look before they were scrambling to follow him outside. 

As soon as they did, Haruka covered his eyes to protect them from the heavy downpour. He had been right about the storm. It raged all around them and the waves crashed into the shoreline with a ferocity he had never seen before. He had never been this close to the sea when the weather was this bad, it looked like water was writhing in pain.

Rin was standing at the shoreline, letting the waves that rolled in hit him as he searched the surface of the sea frantically. He had something clutched in one tight fist.

“Rin-chan!” Nagisa had to yell over the howl of the wind, “What the heck is going on? What are you doing?”

Rin barely spared them a glance as he called to them over his shoulder. The fear in his face was immediately obvious.

“I got up to pee and Rei was gone! I couldn't see him anywhere! And then these washed up on the shore!”

He held out the object he had been holding; the goggles Rei had borrowed from Nagisa. 

Haruka stumbled backward as the implication hit him like a blow to the chest. Nagisa started shaking, having come to the same conclusion. 

“He's in the ocean?!” Nagisa screeched, “Why? Why would he-?!”

Haruka didn't bother to hear out the end of the question. He had his night-shirt off in an instant and ran full-tilt towards the sea. He got about two steps into the water before a hard tug on his forearm pulled him back and nearly made him fall over. He looked at the hard grip on his arm before glancing up into Rin's furious face.

“What the ever-loving fuck do you think you're doing?!” He screamed.

“I have to get Rei,” Haruka said as though it was completely obvious. 

“You can't just dive into the fucking sea during a storm! Are you crazy?!”

“I have to get Rei!” Haruka yelled, wrenching his arm from his grip and preparing himself to head straight into the raging waves.

Rin stepped into his path to stop him.

“You can't help him if you drown, Nanase!” Rin retorted, “Can you even fucking see him through this rain? Can you?!”

There was no spot of a living soul out among all that ferocious grey water.

“We can't just stand here!” Haruka screamed back, panic steadily rising in his chest.

Before Rin could scream at him again, Nagisa launched himself at Rin, clinging to him like he was the one drowning.

“We have to get him, we have to, Rin-chan, we can't let him-! Rei-chan! Rei-chan!!” He called desperately as though if he was loud enough Rei would answer. 

“Stop that!” Rin shook him off a little too hard and he slumped against Haruka.

“Look, just wait!” Rin cried, and before either of them could start protesting again, he held up the pair of goggles, “These drifted onto the shore! The tide is coming in, and so will Rei! He could have washed up already for all we know!”

When all he got was silence he continued. 

“We can go along the coast and look for him but if we go in the water, we'll only get swept up too, and that won't do anything for him, right?”

Haruka said nothing, only glared. 

“Nagisa,” Rin stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder, “The coastguard's station is only a little bit inland from where we are, we passed by it this morning. Do you remember?” When Nagisa didn't give him an answer, he shook him hard, “Do you remember where it is, Nagisa?!” 

“I-I remember, I remember!!” Nagisa screeched.

“Good!” Rin shoved the goggles into his hand, “Go to them, tell them what happened. They'll be more help then we are.”

Nagisa looked him in the eye.

“Rin-chan,” He muttered, voice weak, “The tide is really coming in?”

“Yes,” Rin answered, suddenly so quiet Haruka had to strain to hear him over the storm, “I swear.”

Nagisa nodded once, then, white as a sheet, turned and began running back to dry land.

Haruka watched him go with worry. 

“Haru,” Rin called his attention back to the task at hand, gesturing with his index finger, “I'll look over that way, and you go in the opposite direction. He has to be somewhere.” 

Where he had pointed Haruka to was the same path that Rin had taken yesterday when he had stomped away after dinner. Their argument suddenly felt like it was a lifetime away. 

Haruka nodded without looking him in the eye and turned around to leave. Rin's hand came down on his shoulder just before he could. 

“Don't go into the fucking water, I mean it Nanase,” He growled into his ear.

Haruka brushed him off with a huff and started to run down the shoreline. He wasn't the fastest on land but he let his anger at Rin fuel his movements. 

Deep down he knew he was right, of course. Trying to swim in this weather was asking for trouble, but his general anger at Rin was clouding his thoughts and he hated to admit that this was probably their best course of action at the moment. 

He let his gaze play over the wild waves to his side as he jogged. The uniform mass of grey yielded no answers, and the rocky sand in front of him was as unwelcome as it ever was. In the back of his mind, Haruka had always been aware that the ocean was dangerous. He vividly recalled one vicious storm from his childhood where a fishing boat had been capsized three miles from the shore. It was an entirely different beast when witnessed first-hand however, and for the first time in his life Haruka felt a trickle of fear for the water.

The further he went, the less of any signs of human life there were. He hoped Rin and Nagisa were having better luck than he was. Haruka rounded a corner and ran onto the lonely beach where he and Rin had fought not even twenty-four hours ago. Before any unpleasant memories could distract him however, all his thought processes seemed to freeze at the sight in front of him. 

At first, all he could see was a mass of black before his brain picked out the white patches of skin on it and the pale, heaving torso above it. The enormous tail was half in the water, and the back of the upper body was bent and facing away from him as if leaning over something he couldn't see. Splotches of something dark were spreading around the tail slowly. 

“Makoto?”

The merman yelped with fright and looked over his shoulder to stare at Haruka. He was breathing heavily and his face was drenched with moisture and incredibly pale. 

“Ha-Haru.... Haru, help...” He sounded so fragile like he was about to break.

Haruka approached him slowly.

“Makoto, why are you here?” He lay what he hoped was a comforting hand on his tail as he walked towards to his head, “What's going on?”

 _What else could possibly go wrong?_ , He couldn't help but think.

As he came around to Makoto's front, he saw very clearly what had gone wrong. Makoto was hunched over a still form, making a canopy with his body as though keeping the rain off of it could make a difference. Haruka's jaw dropped open when he saw it.

“I-I-I don't know what to do,” Makoto stuttered as they both looked down at Rei Ryugazaki's body. 

Haruka instantly fell to his knees and took his underclassman by the shoulders.

“Rei!” He shook him hard, “Rei, Rei! Wake up!”

Rei's head lolled to the side but there was no other response.

“Do you know him, Haru?” Makoto called from above him, “Is he one of your friends?!”

Haruka ignored him as he laid Rei back down and looked him over. He was in his borrowed swimsuit again but, along with his goggles, his swimming cap was long gone. He didn't have any visible injuries but Haruka reminded himself that that didn't necessarily mean he was alright. He put his head on Rei's chest and listened for his heartbeat. It was slow, but it was there. He let out a small huff of relief.

As he lifted his head however, he could also hear that Rei's breathing was weak, very weak. Haruka bit his thumb as he looked him over again, trying to recall every step of the procedure he was about to undertake. He tilted Rei's head backwards, still ignoring the questions Makoto was mumbling above him, and took a deep breath. He made a seal around Rei's mouth with his, and exhaled air into his lungs, repeating the process three times before sitting up and pressing his hands down on his chest, five compressions in a row. 

He got through three cycles of CPR and was about to start on a fourth when Rei suddenly twitched and rolled onto his side, spitting up sea-water. Haruka leaned over him, pressing a hand against his back. 

“Rei! Rei!”

Rei groaned and cracked open an eyelid.

“Haru...ka...sen...” His voice was rough and he coughed again dryily. 

“'s okay,” Haruka rubbed circles onto his back, “You're okay.”

Rei seemed to nod slightly before his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out. Haruka checked his heartbeat and his breath again. They were both regular. Haruka put him in the recovery position before he let himself slump back on his heels and took a couple of deep breaths himself. Suddenly there was a soft touch at his back.

“...Haru?” 

He looked up. Still shielding them from the rain, Makoto hovered above him, his face a mask of worry. Haruka reached behind himself to pat him on the arm.

“He's fine,” He assured him, “He'll be fine.”

Makoto shut his eyes for a moment and muttered thanks under his breath. His shoulders slumped with relief. 

“Thank goodness,” He said a little louder, “Thank goodness, Haru, I had no idea how to help, I got so scared.” 

“Me too,” Haruka admitted. 

As soon as he said the words, the impact of what had happened hit him. Rei really could have drowned and even for the split second before he had coughed up water, there had been a moment where Haruka had been convinced he had been lost for good. Now that he knew he was relatively safe, the fear of the night overtook the adrenaline rush that had kept him going ever since Rin had yelled at him and Nagisa to get out of their tent. He didn't know what Rei had been doing in the water so late at night but the memory of urging him to practice suddenly bloomed in the forefront of his mind and a wave of nausea hit him. He leaned over himself, breathing heavily. He could feel his body begin to shake. 

“Haru?” Makoto called from above him, “Haru, what's wrong?”

He couldn't answer, all the strength gone from his voice.

“Haru...” There was a sudden understanding in Makoto's tone. 

Haruka then felt a warmth encompassing him and he looked up to see Makoto laying a hand on his back. His palm was the size of his torso and he wrapped his fingers around him gently. He stroked up and down his back softly.

“It's okay,” Makoto crooned, “It's okay, Haru, you said he was going to be fine. You helped him right? You did such a good job, you're so brave, Haru...”

Haruka let Makoto comfort him, too shook up to be embarrassed by it. His fit passed eventually and he sat up straight, coughing to clear his throat and wiping the water off of his face. Makoto took his hand off of him and he immediately missed its warmth. He looked to Makoto, who gave him a small smile.

“Thanks,” He whispered.

The small smile got a little bigger.

They looked down at Rei's sleeping body at the same time.

“So, he's a friend of yours?” Makoto asked again, far calmer than before.

Haruka nodded.

“The one who was learning how to swim,” He told him.

Makoto winced sympathetically. 

“That didn't go so well then?” He asked.

“It went fine until he decided to swim in a storm,” Haruka frowned, poking Rei lightly in the side.

Makoto let out a small laugh.

“How did you find him?” Haruka asked, turning to look back up at him.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I mean did he wash up here, or nearer to your cave? Did the storm wake you up too?” 

Makoto tilted his head to one side, confused.

“The storm did wake me up but... He didn't wash up onto the shore Haru, the waves are too strong for that...” He answered, trailing off uncertainly. 

Haruka frowned.

“How _did_ you find him then?” 

Makoto frowned as well, still looking uncertain.

“I didn't find him Haru...” He tried to explain, “I woke up because of the weather and when I looked out of the cave, I saw a human caught up in the waves off in the distance. So I went and pulled him to shore. I had just got back when you found us actually...”

“You...” Haruka stumbled over his words, uncomprehendingly, “You pulled him to shore? How..? How did you get out to him?” 

“How?” Makoto almost laughed, “I-I swam out, Haru.”

Haruka suddenly felt very cold.

“You can't swim,” He said it softly, with a terrible certainty.

Makoto didn't seem to notice his tone.

“Well it wasn't easy, that's for sure,” He continued, almost with good humour, “There were a couple of times where I wondered if we would make it back...”

“You can't swim,” Haruka pronounced louder than before.

“H-Haru?”

Haruka suddenly found his eyes drawn to Rei. On his chest, there were several dark handprints. With a terrible foreboding, Haruka turned his own hands over. His palms were covered with a tacky red substance. He knew for a fact that neither Rei or himself had been physically injured enough to draw blood. 

Haruka shot to his feet suddenly, ignoring Makoto's calls for his attention, and ran back around to the merman's tail. It was only now that he noticed that the bandage around his dorsal fin was gone. Haruka pressed his hand against the tail as he had done when he first arrived on the beach. It came away covered in thick strings of blood. He looked down and realised the dark splotches he had noticed before were made of the same substance.

“You re-opened your wound,” He said it softly, trying not to believe it.

“Haru,” Makoto's voice was hurt, like he had pointed out something embarrassing. 

Haruka looked back up to him. Makoto was pouting at him over his shoulder. His face was missing all its colour. 

When he was able to reflect on it later, Haruka would be able to point out a few causes for the way he had reacted. The drama of the previous day, his anger with Rin, was weighing heavily on his mind and with Rei still out in the open, his fear for his safety was still strong and in command of him. He would be able to make a note of these as stressors later on in time. In that moment, however, all Haruka could think of was Makoto deliberately putting himself in harm's way.

And he saw red.

Haruka felt his face heating up before he opened his mouth to scream.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” He bellowed.

Makoto reared back like he had hit him.

“Haru! What do you-?” He tried to protest before Haruka cut him off again.

“Why would you just dive in to a storm when you know you can't swim?! What were you thinking?” He ignored his own hypocrisy in favour of letting his anger build.

“I-I...” Makoto seemed to be stuck for words, completely taken aback by his reaction.

“You can't support your body weight with this injury!” He pointed to his fin accusingly, “You could have drowned, you idiot!”

Makoto finally found his voice and he had the nerve to sound offended.

“What was I supposed to do, Haru?” He gestured back to Rei, “ _He_ was drowning, I couldn't just leave him!”

“That's no excuse!” Haruka spat back, “You knew we were camped nearby! You could have called for me!”

Makoto's jaw dropped open.

“If I called for you, someone else could have found me...” He whimpered.

Haruka brushed that off with a shake of his head. 

“And what if you hadn't made it back to shore, huh? What if weren't able to swim back? You would have dragged Rei down with you! You would have both _died_ , Makoto!!”

“I couldn't have done anything else!!” Makoto leaned forward, anger now marring his features, “And don't say I could have, there was nothing else that could have helped, Haru!”

“No-one asked for your help!” He retorted, “Were you even thinking at all?!”

“I- I didn't have time to-! This-this storm!” Makoto gestured to the dark sky above them, “It's just like the one I got caught in! All I could think was how terrified he must have been! I-I panicked, alright?!”

“Obviously,” Haruka sneered.

He suddenly made a move to walk back to where Rei was lying and Makoto flinched away from him, just like he had when they first met. Haruka glared at him before kneeling down by Rei and pulling him upright, putting his limp arm around his shoulder. He surged to his feet, staggering under the extra weight. 

“W-What are you doing?” Makoto asked weakly.

Haruka didn't look at him as he answered.

“Taking Rei somewhere safe, away from here.”

He swayed as he moved slowly down the beach, struggling to move Rei's unconscious body. The quiet shifting of a mass moving on the sand reached him just before Makoto spoke. 

“He's too heavy to carry by yourself,” His voice was weary, “Let me-”

“You've done enough!” Haruka snapped, “Get back to your cave before you do any more damage.”

He didn't turn to look as he kept moving onward, hiking Rei's arm higher up to rest on his neck 

Haruka left only the white noise of the rain behind him as he continued on through the storm.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which many ripples are felt and far too many revelations happen in one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as per usual, I'll start with an apology, it really shouldn't be taking as long as it does to get chapters up, and it's my bad
> 
> the good news though is that Monday the 5th of October marked the passing of one whole year since I started Meet Your Storm! it's unbelievable that it's made it this far (mostly because I'm slow) but I just wanted to say that if it wasn't for you guys reading it and giving me feedback we probably wouldn't have made it this far so;
> 
> Thank you, deeply and sincerely thank you. Your support means the world to me.
> 
> and as per the norm hit up red-scribbler.tumblr.com for comments, queries and to watch me yell into the void about how hard writing is
> 
> in the meantime, please enjoy!

Goro Sasabe stood at the bow of the _Big Catch Sasa_ , leaning heavily on the deck's railing. A strong wind whipped around him and blew both spray from the sea and the light drizzle of rain falling from the sky onto his face. The grey clouds above swirled and rolled in tandem with the boisterous waves underneath them. 

All in all, it was shaping up to be a beautiful day for business. 

That was what he had told his sullen crew, at least, as they crowded under the boat's awning while shivering in the pre-dawn cold. His first-mate had frantically checked the weather forecast on his phone as he did so and groused about how it was going to stay 'beautiful' all week. 

It was Monday morning, at a time where the grey tinge of night on the horizon still hadn't fully given way to the bloom of day, and Saturday's unprecedented storm was looking like it had been the herald of a week's worth of bad weather. Sunday had followed much in the same pattern as the previous day; a blazingly hot afternoon that ended in a ferocious downpour, while Monday had appeared to give up the illusion of Summer entirely and started off as wet as it meant to continue. 

As his fishermen continued to grumble, Sasabe had pointed across the horizon towards another local fishing boat that was far out to sea. It was Kujikawa's crew, already hard at work, having cast off an hour beforehand. Even with the reassurance that Kujikawa's instinct was never wrong and that they were guaranteed to haul in a big catch, the crew of the _Big Catch Sasa_ still took up their positions for setting sail slowly. 

Sasabe hadn't let their reluctance spoil his good mood. As he strode across the deck making sure everyone and everything was in its proper place, he had felt certain that it was only the beginning of what was sure to be a good, productive day. 

Until he had made the mistake of offhandedly mentioning that they would have to wait for Haruka Nanase to come collect his salvaging gear before they cast off.

Sasabe only had a second to take in the horrified looks his fellow fishermen sent his way before they rounded on him, demanding to know why he had asked Nanase to work and whether or not he had heard what had happened; a few of the more melodramatic sailors bemoaning his lack of heart. It was only when the confusion he felt became apparent on his face and his half-mumbled excuses of how much salvage the weekend's storms must have blown onto the shore had died on his lips, that his first-mate had finally taken pity on him and took his phone out again.

He brought up the website for Iwatobi's local newspaper and clicked on an article before handing it over for Sasabe to read. It was a report about Saturday's storm and, with the typical purple prose of a small-town tabloid, it told the heart-wrenching tale of four young souls that had been caught up in the malevolent maelstrom. He skimmed over it as quickly as he could but what he gathered from the piece was that a few kids had been camping on the beach when the storm hit and one had nearly been washed out to sea before help had come. From that, along with the mix of information and gossip his crew was yelling at him, Sasabe soon realised that one of those kids had been Haruka, and that he was apparently the one who had stopped his friend from drowning. 

“W-What happened then?” Sasabe had asked shakily.

He got several answers at once. His first-mate read aloud from his phone's tiny screen that the young man who been rescued had been taken to the hospital to treat a mild concussion and water in his lungs. A sailor piped up and told him that he had only been in overnight and had already been released. Another contradicted him and said that the boy was in critical condition and getting worse by the minute, while yet another claimed that his mother's neighbour's cousin was a lifeguard who had witnessed the whole thing and that they were both wrong. Sasabe had heard enough. He left them to squabble as he turned away to reflect on what he had done. 

He was now leaning on the railing at the bow of the ship, waiting anxiously for Haruka to arrive. Sasabe might have been considered a bit of a hard-ass by his crew but he wasn't heartless. He was worried for Haruka's sake. He would have never called him into work today if he had known what he happened. Sasabe had first-hand experience in how terrifying the sea could be during extreme weather although, unlike some of the crews docked in Iwatobi's bay, he had been lucky enough to never lose anyone. He prayed that Haruka wouldn't let that fear eat away at him, he had seen it happen more than once, old hardened sailors who lost their wits entirely by pretending nothing could ever scare them. Haruka tended to be taciturn at the best of times and Sasabe knew he lived alone. He just hoped the boy had someone he could talk to about the whole mess. 

He ran a hand through his carefully styled hair and let out a sigh.

 _So much for a 'beautiful' day,_ He thought morosely.

“Captain,” His first-mate caught his attention with a call of his name and pat on the back.

Sasabe turned to see him pointing at the gangplank where a lone figure was making his way up to the deck.

“Haruka-kun!” Sasabe called him, raising his arm to catch his eye, “Hey! C'mere a moment!”

Haruka did not return his greeting or even look up to acknowledge it, instead heading straight across the deck to the stairwell that lead to the fish hold. The fishermen around him averted their eyes and moved out of his path.

While this behaviour was nothing new for Haruka, it still sent a spike of worry flaring through Sasabe, given what had happened. 

“Hey, Haruka-kun!”

He took after him hastily, rushing across the deck and clambering down the stairs as quickly as he could. He reached the fish hold in time to see that Haruka had already taken the things he needed to work down from the cubby hole they were usual kept in and was currently raiding the first aid box for rolls of cotton bandages and stuffing them in his smaller portable kit. The two fishermen that were conducting final checks on the navigational equipment stored in the hold greeted Sasabe quietly before turning back to their work. 

“Ah, Haruka-kun,” Sasabe approached him slowly and uncertainly, “Uh, g-good morning.” 

Haruka looked up at him briefly and nodded a hello before returning to what he had been doing.

“Ah, Haruka-kun, wait,” Sasabe lay a hand on the lid of the kit and slowly pushed it shut, “I've got to talk to you.”

Haruka glanced back to him, more out of obligation than curiosity, and waited.

“Uh... look...” Sasabe started haltingly, “I just heard about Saturday...” 

All of a sudden, he had Haruka's complete focus. 

“And I just want you to know,” He continued, “If I had known about the whole thing before I would've never asked you to come in. I'm sorry, Haruka-kun.” 

Sasabe rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and tried to ignore how the boy's shoulders stiffened with each word.

“A-ahhhh,” He sighed, “Look, what I'm trying to say is... Maybe you ought to just go home,” In his peripheral vision, he saw one of Haruka's hands clench into a fist before slowly and deliberately unclenching again, “I-It's probably not good for you to be, um, here, by the sea I mean, right now, and, uh, you should probably rest...?”

Behind Haruka, one of the navigators was shaking his head at his captain's sorry attempt at comfort and Sasabe couldn't help but agree with him. He was better suited to bossing people around, rather than offering them emotional support.

“Okay,” Sasabe took a deep breath and started again, “What I'm saying is, Haruka-kun, I think it's best for you to-”

“I'm working,” Haruka interrupted him abruptly. 

Sasabe looked at him with surprise. The boy's sharp-eyed expression hadn't changed. He maintained eye-contact with Sasabe for a moment more before packing up his first-aid kit into his satchel and slinging it over his shoulder. He gathered his other tools and began to move toward the stairs. Both of the sailors behind him began silently gesturing for Sasabe to stop him. He rushed forward and laid a hand on Haruka's shoulder, stopping him just as he had put his foot on the first step.  
“Haruka-kun, wait!” He called, “I made a mistake calling you in I know, but I'm serious, you don't have to work today. Just head home, rest up and take it eas-”

“I'm working,” Haruka told him again, turning around to stare at him. 

He didn't raise his voice or change his inflection, but the certainty in Haruka's tone coupled with the sudden ferocious look in his eye gave Sasabe pause. His shoulders were still stiff with tension, and with one foot firmly planted on the stairs, his body language brooked no argument. 

There was something bubbling just under the surface in him, Sasabe could see, and as much as wanted to ensure the boy was alright, he didn't have the guts to unearth it. His hand slipped off of Haruka's shoulders slowly. 

“W-well,” He ventured, “If it'll help keep your, um, mind off of things...”

Without another word, Haruka turned on his heel and marched up to the deck. With a heavy worry resting in his gut, Sasabe slowly followed.

He got up just in time to see Haruka get to the boarding ramp and quickly disembark the boat. The wary stares of the ship's crew followed him until he disappeared from sight then turned to immediately impart judgement on their ineffectual captain. 

Sasabe was too busy warding off the fishermen's accusations and trying to defend his actions to watch as Haruka walked away from the docks and into the early morning fog, weighed down by what he carried.

~~

Everything ached. 

From the span of his broad shoulders downward, a slow creeping pain bloomed throughout his body. He was certain that he had pulled muscles in his arms and back, was convinced he could feel the steady throb of overworked sinew with every heartbeat. Strained tissue continued down his spine to his dorsal fin where that quiet ache roared to life around the area where he had re-opened his wound. The exposed flesh felt hot compared to the rest of his body, a blazing fire in the middle of his back in contrast to the slower burn permeating the rest of his body. 

The only thing comparable to the hurt flowing up and down his back was the distress that had taken root in his heart. In contrast to his body's injuries, the pang he felt was cold and heavy, lodging deep in his chest and weighing him down. Even if he was able to move his body, he would have felt too listless to do so. As it was, all he could do was lie in the back of his too-small cave without enough water and stew in both physical and spiritual misery.

 _And all of it is your own fault, of course,_ Makoto reminded himself.

It was a reminder that he had to make an effort to keep thinking because a small nagging voice in the back of his mind kept trying to tell him otherwise. It was a voice that came from what he had usually thought of as that well of patience that he had to dip into whenever he watched Ren and Ran and they were being particularly taxing, but at this point he suspected that it might have been just plain stubbornness. 

The voice kept insisting that while, _yes_ , he had made his injuries worse through his own actions, and while, _yes_ , those actions had been a little impulsive, that, _no_ , he had not actually done anything wrong. 

The problem with fighting against that voice and wallowing in guilt was that Makoto couldn't really deny the truth it was telling. 

Impulsive it might have been, but he had still saved someone from drowning. Regardless of what else he had done, he refused to believe that that had been a mistake. 

He had tried to ignore the storm, he really had. 

When the first clouds started casting shadows over the shoreline, he had just taken up the fishing nets and ate quickly in order to avoid the foul weather he knew was coming. As soon as his stomach was full, Makoto retreated into his cave, right back to where the water ended. Past that internal shoreline, a hill of sand which took up the last third of the cave sloped gently upward. A wide, low plateau was at the top of it and served as a dumping ground for all the floating sundry that Makoto tossed up there whenever it drifted into his cave. 

Makoto had hoisted himself up onto the plateau. It was tight fit and too dry but it would keep him out of the water during the night in case any stray sparks of lighting ventured too close for comfort. He dozed lightly as the sun set, thinking idly about being able to swim again and wondering if Haruka was having fun with his friends. He hoped he was even as the thought left him feeling a little lonely. 

Sleep came to him quickly and he had actually had a decent rest before a crash of thunder startled him awake. As he yawned, he realised two things; that he had slipped down the slope in his sleep and his tail was resting in the water, and that it was still night-time which meant the storm was still very much raging. He lowered the rest of his body into the water and carefully inched forward to peer out of the cave mouth, a sleepy curiosity over-riding his caution. 

The moment he put his face out of his shelter, he was bombarded by rain and wind. Even with his vision limited by them, he knew all he would be able to see would be the ocean tossing and turning in front of him. The sea and sky blended together in a uniform grey as they raged, occasionally separating ferociously with a white flash of lighting. It reminded Makoto of an old bedtime story he had been told as a calf to explain bad weather, about a friendly battle between a sea giant and a sky giant, that the noise of thunder was their fists colliding. He had heard it from his parents as he cowered in their arms and in turn had told it to Ren and Ran as all three of them shivered on the sea-bed. 

As he looked out over the wild waters, those sweeter memories brought him no comfort when they were interrupted by more recent ones. The storm that night was far too reminiscent of the gale he had been caught up in over a month ago and it made his dorsal fin ache just to watch it. He had turned back into the cave to try and ignore the world outside and sleep when another flash of light blazed across his vision. As the ocean and the clouds parted for that split-second, he saw something else disrupt the waterline in the distance, almost white against the dark backdrop. Makoto blinked the brightness away as he tried to figure out what it was. It was constantly changing size as it bobbed in and out of the waves. It was only when a small part of it was visible, the rest buried under the water that he could make out its shape. It was very clearly an arm.

Makoto had known, because of the closeness of the human dwellings on the coast, that the likelihood of any other merperson showing up in Iwatobi's waters was next to none. Therefore, the person in the water had to be human. Makoto had also known, thanks to talking to Haruka, that humans were not natural born swimmers. The conclusion that it was possible for him to come to then, based on this knowledge, was that the human caught in the storm was in very bad trouble. 

Absolutely none of those thoughts went through Makoto's head as he immediately dragged himself through the shallows and dove into the sea. All prior knowledge, all reason, any sense of self-preservation was abandoned on the shoreline as he was overwhelmed by the instinct to help. There was a split-second of peace in the moment he took a breath and put his head underwater. All the noise from above vanished in the white noise of the sea and despite the circumstances, Makoto was filled with a sense of belonging that he hadn't felt since he had been injured.

That feeling fled him the instant after however, when he tried to move his tail to swim. Fire lanced up his back as something in him came undone. He aborted the movement quickly but staying still only caused his heavy body to sink. Even as he drifted towards the seabed, he peered through the gloom to try and see if he could find the human. His dive had bought him a bit of distance but when he spotted the smaller figure (now completely underwater and far too still), they didn't seem any closer. 

Makoto fought against his useless tail, urging himself forward as best as he could while trying to stay close to the surface. Every inch he earned sent another spark of pain shooting through him, and every bit of that ache built up to compound further onto his fin.He almost lost his breath more than once, and for a moment a horrifying thought flashed through his mind; that he was not strong enough to do this, that the human would drown quickly, and that he would drown slowly, helplessly, on the ocean floor, his body utterly spent. He shook the grim idea off with difficulty and tried to focus on moving forward.

After what seemed like an age, he reached the spot where the human was floating. His heart lurched as he took in the masculine body and dark hair but when he reached out and held the human by the waist he could see that the face was that of a stranger's. With what felt like the last ounce of strength in his body, he swam upward and broke the surface making sure to raise the human's head above his. If they couldn't swim intrinsically, Makoto doubted humans could hold their breath longer than a merman could. 

He did his utmost to head back to shore while keeping above the surface but the wind, rain, and wild waves worked together to combat that effort. More often then he would have liked, he was forced to dip back underwater. More than himself, he was worried about the human getting enough air. He held him close as the water rocked them back and forth. Hoisting both of them afloat took up all of his concentration, mercifully keeping his darker thoughts from before at bay. Moving back to shore hurt just as much as getting away from it did, but with the tide in his favour, it seemed to take Makoto less time to do so. 

He couldn't make out where on the coast the cave mouth was but reasoned that wherever they came ashore it couldn't be too far off. After eventually reaching the shore, he crawled back out of the shallows and onto the sand. He lay the small body down and leaned over it panting heavily. It was only when he got his breath back and looked up that he realised that he had missed his mark by quite a bit. The beach he had stumbled onto was far closer to the mass of human dwellings than he was comfortable with and he only half-recognised the landscape in any case. He had no idea how far he was from any form of proper shelter. 

It was in that instant that the impact of what he had just done had struck him. All the adrenaline drained from his system and he nearly collapsed on the spot, only catching himself in order that he didn't squash the human lying under his torso. The damage he had done to his fin was making itself known, every minuscule movement made it flare up with a bright, searing pain. It was bleeding heavily, he could feel that without even looking, as hot rivulets trickled down the sides of his tail. He could only pray that whatever injuries he had exacerbated weren't incurable.

Then of course there was the problem of the human himself. Makoto gave him a cautious look-over. He was probably around the same size as Haruka and possibly the same age (Makoto found it difficult to gauge that sort of thing on a good day, to say nothing of when he had to do it in the middle of a thunderstorm). He hadn't moved since he had been brought to shore and Makoto tried to swallow down any sort of panic before it could rise up and override his senses. With a slow, careful movement Makoto placed his ear against the human's chest. After a minute of concentration, he _thought_ he could make out a heartbeat but without knowing for certain how human bodies worked, that by itself provided no comfort. 

The other problem with the human was the very fact that he was a human. Makoto had been told his whole life that humans were violent and dangerous, and although he might have considered one of them in particular a dear friend, Haruka was the exception rather than the rule. When Makoto tried to rid his mind of thoughts of the human beneath never recovering from this ordeal, they were instantly replaced with thoughts of what might happen if the human did. If he saw him, and if he was well enough to do so, the human would run from him for certain. The possibility of him telling other humans about him wasn't far off and if that happened, Makoto knew deep down that he was far too hurt to even try and get away when they came looking for him. He was almost ashamed of himself for being afraid of this human, helpless and tiny on the sand in front of him, but all the terrible thoughts he had had that night after he had first met Haruka came flooding back into his mind and it took a concentrated effort on his part to not be violently ill then and there. 

Then, impossibly, someone called his name. Even as he flinched and turned to see what fate had in store for him, his body had recognised that voice and when he saw Haruka's face, pale and drawn as it was, he couldn't help the relief that spiraled throughout his system. Despite his injuries, his fears and the still uncertain condition of the person he had plucked from the sea, he couldn't help the feeling that everything was going to be fine as soon as he met those deep blue eyes with his own. 

At first, that faith seemed to be justified. Haruka had instantly begun to help the other human, he even knew his name. Makoto had considered at some point inbetween swimming out to the human and bringing him into shore that he might have been someone Haruka knew but there had been other, far more important things to concentrate on for him to dwell on it. After Haruka had brought the other human back to sputtering, insensible life and had reassured Makoto that he would be fine, Makoto could see him suddenly taking in and thinking about the last few harrowing minutes. Haruka had done the same thing Makoto had and let his emotions get the better of him for a long moment. Haruka's panic actually made Makoto relax, comforting a friend was both something familiar and something he felt confident that he could do. As he lay his hand over Haruka's back, he let the other boy's breathing soothe his frazzled mind. For that instant, he let himself imagine that everything might turn out alright. 

That illusion shattered quickly. He had tried carried on a conversation in that quiet way they shared and before he knew it, Haruka was on his feet, screaming at him. Seeing his friend angry was terrifying and heartbreaking in equal turns. Haruka had stormed off after that, taking the other human with him, and leaving Makoto by himself, cold and utterly confused. 

He tried to think about what he could have possibly done wrong but pain and exhaustion had finally overwhelmed his higher senses. After an immeasurable time of sitting in the rain, he dragged himself in the opposite direction to the path Haruka had taken in an attempt to find his cave. With dull surprise he discovered that the next cove over was the one he had gotten beached on over a month ago. He made his way slowly across it before reaching the cave and promptly collapsing just over its threshold. The trauma of the night overloaded his system and he slept fitfully for most of the day after, trying to forget what had happened in the brief time that he was awake. 

Now, on a wet Monday morning, all Makoto could do was reflect on what had happened and wallow in his physical and heart-born aches. 

Try as he might, he couldn't convince himself that he done anything wrong and that stubborn little voice in his head was becoming petulant in its insistence. Even as he accepted that, he still felt uneasy. There seemed to be no explanation for Haruka's sudden rage. If he had been worried about his friend being hurt by Makoto dragging him out of the water (a justifiable excuse, Makoto reasoned), then surely Haruka could also understand that staying in the water wouldn't have done the other human any favours. It was also possible that Haruka was angry because Makoto had reopened his wound, ruining all of hard work he had put into trying to get it to heal. Again, Makoto could understand why that might be irritating but it wasn't as if he had had done it on purpose, or that he had had another option at the time. He tried not to acknowledge the lump of annoyance building up in him in reaction to Haruka's own anger. After all, it wasn't as if it was Haruka who now had to subject himself to several more weeks of lying in a damp cave doing nothing. He tried to mentally shoo away those kind of thoughts. Expressing them wouldn't help anybody. 

Makoto moaned out loud in frustration. He couldn't wrap his head around anything that had happened during the storm. For an instant, he felt like thrashing back and forth like a calf in a tantrum, if only to relieve some of the mental tension, but with his fin mangled the way it was, he couldn't even do that. 

Yesterday, when he had finally worked up the courage to peer over his shoulder to look at it, he could see that it actually looked a lot better than it felt. It seemed that all he had done was in fact reopen the wound without doing any more damage to the fin itself. The trails of dried blood trickling down his sides didn't look too healthy but it hurt too much to try to reach back and wash them off. Makoto suspected that he had done more harm to the muscles surrounding the fin more than anything else. It was something he would have to discuss with Haruka whenever he came to see him. 

_If he decides to come see you,_ the thought was sudden, intrusive and unwelcome. 

But he couldn't deny it.

He knew Haruka was the type to think things over slowly and consider them thoroughly. Makoto didn't know how humans cared for their sick and injured but it was clear that caring for the other human would be Haruka's priority. Makoto's injuries must have seemed superficial compared to his half-drowned friend and they both knew that keeping Makoto fed was no longer a problem now that he was no longer afraid of pulling up the fishing nets. Depending on how long it took for the other human to recover, Haruka might not come back to his cave for quite some time. 

And depending on how angry was at Makoto, he might not come back at all. 

Makoto lay his heavy head down on his folded arms and tried to convince himself that that wouldn't happen. He reminded himself that Haruka was his friend above all else, and that one argument wasn't the be all and end all of the peaceful accord they had built. 

The stubborn little voice in his mind that tried to reassure him of this wasn't quite as convincing as it had been before. 

When he attempted to think of the quiet evenings they had spent talking, to pinpoint some proof of their friendship, all Makoto could recall was Haruka doing things for him; tending to his wounds, making sure his bandages stayed dry, bringing him food, then later ensuring that he could feed himself; nursing him, for lack of a better word. For all his thinking, Makoto couldn't ever remember returning any of these gracious favours. 

What he did remember was the first conversation he had ever had with Haruka. The human had taken responsibility for his injuries, claiming that the net he had been caught in also been in his care. Makoto was still as grateful as ever for Haruka's kindness of course but as the memory echoed in his head, another horrible thought struck him.

That he had put too much significance on what they had. 

That Haruka saw him as an obligation and nothing more.

An obligation that he was cordial to, of course, but when Makoto was healed he would probably be content to send him on his merry way without a second thought. 

It was agonising to think about. 

It made the cold hollow in his chest twinge and sting to think that he was the only one to consider them friends. 

His incredibly small sense of cynicism pondered quietly that maybe he was so invested in Haruka because he was the only person he had seen or spoken to for nearly two months. He couldn't deny that it was a possibility; if he had never been injured he wouldn't have even spoken to a human in the first place. Despite that, he dismissed the thoughts easily. Part of his attachment might stem from his enforced invalidity, but deep down Makoto knew that it was more than just that. Haruka was one of the kindest, most patient people he had ever met. He was selfless and caring in a quiet, unobtrusive way that Makoto couldn't help but adore. His visits were the highlights of Makoto's days and he had learned to recognise the shuffle of his footsteps on the sand and his muted scent in the air. 

Makoto conceded that his cynical side might have been right about being a little over-invested. 

He physically banished the thoughts from his head, shaking it from side to side roughly. He turned in the shallows, curling his tail towards his head and ignoring the blaze of pain the movement sent roaring through his body. The gritty sand under the thin layer of water made for a poor pillow as he folded his arms together again and rested his chin on top of them.

Makoto made a decision then and there to try and think positively. 

He thought about what he would do when he had healed up properly.

(He hadn't to think _when_ , thinking _if_ was not positive.)

The obvious answer would be to return to the pod. 

As a fully-grown unmated adult, he wasn't expected to stay with the main body of the pod as they traveled the seas, with mated couples and their calves, but rather to explore the ocean on his own or with a smaller group of other young people his age. Makoto had personally been content to stay with his family, to take care of the twins while his parents helped hunt or to assist elderly members of the pod who struggled to keep up, but his mother and father had insisted that he take some time for himself, that the experience would be good for him. 

He laughed humourlessly at _that_ particular memory.

The time he had spent away from the pod was not abnormal by any means. He could be gone for up to a year before anyone would wonder why he hadn't returned. And when he got back to the pod and his many relatives inevitably fussed over the state of his scarred dorsal fin, it would be easy to make up a story about how it had happened and how he had taken care of it. It was common for young people to return with a few cuts and bruises, with the more macho of them treating them as markers of strength and toughness. 

Makoto would have to lie through his teeth for the rest of his life about this venture he had taken. If the pod's matriarch knew he had spoken to a human, told him things about their kind willingly, he dreaded to think what his punishment would be, not to mention the fact that she would do her utmost to find Haruka and permanently ensure his silence. 

A part of him wondered if he should go back to the pod at all. 

His immediate response was a ringing protest to that thought, of course he should go back to his family, to not return seemed unfathomable at first. The more he thought about it however, the more he questioned if it was a good idea. If there was even a slim chance that he could inadvertently lead humans to the pod, he had a responsibility to avoid that at any cost. Makoto would rather die where he lay than even dare to think of putting his family in danger. Given Haruka's own solitary nature and the trust Makoto had placed in him however, that slim chance of exposure seemed non-existent. 

As he ran over the pros and cons of returning home at some distant point in the future, he considered how it would feel to never see his parents or the twins again. A miserable pain ripped into his heart, akin to what he felt when he thought about never meeting with Haruka again, multiplied by four. 

Makoto let out a low groan and put his face down onto his arms. He wished he could shut off all the painful thoughts running through his poor overtaxed brain. All he wanted was some peace. 

He had just decided to try and sleep again when he heard the soft splash of someone making their way through shallow water over the white noise of the drizzling rain. Makoto didn't raise his head to look or move from where he was lying. He barely dared to breathe as he listened to the footsteps getting closer. He was only too familiar with that sound. 

The noise ceased at the mouth of the cave. 

Ever so slowly, like he was submerged underwater, Makoto lifted his heavy head to see the person standing in front of him. His heartbeat faltered as his gaze wandered over the black hair, plastered to his forehead from the rain, to the bags and boxes he had brought all the way out here, to his dark, unwavering stare as he looked Makoto straight in the eye. 

“Haru,” Makoto greeted him quietly, without stuttering, and then shut his mouth, not trusting himself to say anymore.

Haruka entered the cave silently, without acknowledging Makoto, until he stood a few feet in front of him. He had dropped his gaze from his face and was now inspecting what state the storm had left him in. Makoto could feel his line of sight dragging up his tail, and it practically burned when it settled on his dorsal fin. 

“Haru...” He trailed off slowly, embarrassed by Haruka's scrutiny and baffled by his silence. 

Haruka turned his face toward him but now that he had Makoto's full attention, he couldn't quite meet his eye again. Without warning, he dropped almost everything he was carrying into the shallow water with an almighty splash, making Makoto flinch. The only thing left on his person was the satchel slung over one shoulder. He began to rummage through it without regard to his work-things getting soaked at his feet or Makoto's cautious stare resting on his shoulders. He pulled the bulky first-aid kit out of the bag and lifted his head up to address the space directly to the left of Makoto's head. 

“I'm going to check your wound,” He explained in a low voice, “Lie down straight.”

Makoto wanted to protest. He couldn't help be feel there was something more important that the two of them ought to do right in that moment. But Haruka still wasn't looking at him and if he was being honest with himself, a part of him was just happy to have him here at all, it urged him not to jeopardise the situation. In any case, he couldn't help but hope that Haruka could ease his back ache a little.

Makoto straightened up from the curl he had been in at a glacial pace, trying not to wince at the flare of pain that raced through him as he did so, until he was lying in the water at Haruka's side, his face almost poking out of the cave's entrance. 

Haruka glared at the injury as he walked up to Makoto's side and considered how to tackle it. After a moment of concentration, he decided that washing it out was the first step to take. He put the first-aid kit down by his feet and whipped a clean rag out of it before dipping the cloth under the water to let it soak. Haruka started by wiping away the tracks of blood that had dried onto the sides of Makoto's tail, ignoring how red the cloth was becoming as well as the gentle noises the merman tried to hide as he was washed. 

Haruka dropped the bloody rag into the water before taking another clean one out of the kit. He repeated his soaking method before taking a deep breath and facing his main target. The reopened wound had scabbed over again and the whole front-facing part of the fin was covered in a mass of red crust. Haruka let out the breath and began to scrub to it all off. The possibility of dirt or silt which may have become trapped under the scab causing infection was a risk he couldn't take. Makoto shuddered underneath his hands but managed to keep his hisses and yelps of pain to a minimum. 

After what seemed like a age, the wound was exposed again and Haruka took a proper look at it. To his surprise it didn't look that much worse than it had before the storm, apart from the small watery trails of blood and lymph that trickled from it thanks to Haruka's intense scrubbing. He guessed that while Makoto had reopened the wound by swimming, no more actual damage had been done to the fin. It would take a few more weeks than Haruka had hoped for it to heal, but ultimately the whole incident had been a setback on the road to recovery instead of the disaster he had feared. 

It did nothing to lessen his anger at Makoto for causing it to reopen in the first place. 

Without a word he pulled a pad of cotton wool and a thick roll, and began the now-familiar routine of winding them tightly around the open sore. Makoto, breathing more easily than before, tried more than once to turn his torso to watch Haruka work but every time he did, he would snap at him to face forward.

“You're only causing more trouble for both of us,” Haruka would grumble just loud enough for Makoto to hear.

When he finished, he dropped the nearly empty roll of bandages back into the kit and took a step back, appraising his work. If he didn't know any better, he would think that nothing had happened to the fin inbetween Saturday and Monday. 

“It's done,” He told Makoto, kneeling down to pack away the first-aid kit.

There was nothing but silence. After a minute he looked up to see Makoto still lying in the same position he had been in when Haruka was tending to him, eyes looking out to the sea and shoulders stiff. It took a moment more for Haruka to realise he was waiting for permission.

“You can look,” He said irritably. 

Makoto peered over his shoulder hesitantly. Haruka turned away to fidget with the latch of the kit as he inspected it. 

“Haru...” His voice drifted over to him after a long pause, “That... feels better. Thank-”

Haruka slammed the lid of the first-aid kit shut with force and stood abruptly, shoving it into his bag and hurrying over to where he had dropped his work tools and what little sundry he had bothered to pick from the shoreline as he had made his way down to the cave. He began gathering them into his arms as fast as he could. He had to get out of here as quickly as possible. 

Sensing his intent, Makoto suddenly started babbling.

“Wait, wait, Haru, wait! Don't go! We need to talk, please talk to me!”

Haruka shook his head, not trusting himself enough to say anything. He turned on his heel and began to march toward the cave mouth. Makoto dragged his body into front of him, blocking half of the entrance with his bulk. Haruka froze and stared at the huge torso blocking part of his path, he didn't Makoto had been capable of such a bold gesture. From the look of shock on his face, Makoto didn't either. 

“Ha-Haru,” He begged, “I know you're still mad but, but- Will you look at me at least?”

He couldn't. 

“Haru, please, Haru...”

He _couldn't._

Even as he stepped forward, swerving to avoid the body in his way, he wondered if Makoto would try to stop him again. He could do it easily, the difference in their strength was obvious, but Haruka had a hard time even in that moment with seeing him as a physical threat. 

Only the weight of Makoto's wide-eyed stare touched him as he walked back out into the rain.

“Haru..!” Makoto called after him, his tone turning desperate, “Haruka!”

That stopped him. Only for the briefest of seconds, but the use of his full name made him pause nonetheless. His steps were slower after that.

“Haru... Haru...” Makoto tried one last time, his voice growing weaker now, “Haru please, at least tell me if your friend is alright...?”

That stopped him too. He hadn't even considered that, that Makoto might have spared a thought for someone else when he was in so much pain himself. Then he remembered who he was dealing with. 

Haruka knew he should turn to address his question, but if he did that and he inadvertently looked into Makoto's eyes, he wouldn't be able to walk away. 

“He is,” Haruka tried to soften his voice, to make sure Makoto knew he was being sincere, “He's fine, I swear. He's safe.”

There was a small splash from behind him and he risked a glance over his shoulder. Makoto had laid his head down in the shallows and Haruka saw his shoulders rise and fall in a deep sigh.

“I'm glad...” He mumbled to himself, “I'm so glad...”

The burning desire to turn on his heel and sit down by Makoto's side rose up in him instantly. The sudden ache to tell Makoto all about Rei's brief stay in the hospital and how he had been issued a prescription of strict bedrest both by the doctor and Nagisa was almost impossible to resist. 

He took a deep breath to steel himself and forced his feet to move away from the cave and back over the rock barrier. The last thing he heard was shallow water being disturbed as Makoto sat back up again but if the merman had anymore protests about his leaving, they were never said aloud. 

~~

 _That was a mistake._

All the thoughts that ran through Haruka's head as he made his way back up the shore to the docks lead him to that conclusion. 

It was supposed to have been easy; get in, make sure Makoto hadn't bled to death, get out. He might have still been mad at him but that didn't mean he wanted the merman hurt and the ever-present concern he had for his well-being since the day they had met had only been made worse by walking through the beach he had washed onto during Saturday's storm and seeing the huge blood stains that had dried into the sand. 

The wound itself would be fine, it looked like it would heal only a little bit slower than he had anticipated, and although Makoto had moved a little stiffly this morning, Haruka was certain had he hadn't taken anymore damage from what he had done.

The knowledge that Makoto was alright, and that he would continue to be so brought Haruka only an instant of relief. The frantic worry he had pretended he didn't feel since that night had been tempering the tidal wave of anger rising in him. Now that his concern had been assuaged, it crashed down and submerged his senses. 

He stomped through the gritty sand, regardless of the billows of dirt that spiraled onto his clothes or how damp the rain was making him. When he reached the docks, he walked past where the _Big Catch Sasa_ had been moored that morning and moved onward to the two lines of storage sheds built at the very end of the port. The fifth one to the left was a grubby space that Sasabe had jokingly dubbed his 'office' and served as storage for the crew's things while they were out at sea. It was also a dumping ground for the debris Haruka salvaged from the shoreline. His haul from today, a pair of ripped tuna nets and a ball of tangled industrial-strength fishing line, was pathetic in comparison to what he was usually able to bring back and downright embarrassing considering that Saturday night's storm had been violent enough to throw a plethora of washed-up junk onto the sand just waiting to be found. As he tossed what little he had into the shed however, Haruka couldn't find it in him to care about that, and considering how Sasabe had tried to get to turn around and go home the instant he had walked onto his boat, he doubted his boss would call him out on his lackluster work. 

Haruka thought that he should have probably been more worried about a notorious cheapskate like Sasabe insisting that he take the day off but with his head already fit to burst with everything else that had happened over the last few days, he quickly forgot about it.

The worst part, he ruminated as he walked slowly away from the docklands, was that he couldn't pinpoint exactly where his anger was coming from. He thought that he had plenty of reasons to feel that way; Makoto putting both himself and Rei in danger, his fight with Rin only a few hours before that, the tense atmosphere that had hung over the whole day even before _that_. Even as Haruka tried to rationalise his feelings in his own mind he knew they fell short. At the end of that terrible night when Rei had been whisked away to the hospital (And Nagisa, still frantic, had lied to the medics that he was his cousin so that he could ride in the ambulance), one the coastguards had confided in Rin and Haruka that if Rei hadn't been found when he had, he may not have woken up at all. Haruka knew for a fact that if Makoto had not saved Rei, he would probably have drowned. He could hardly be angry with him for that. And taking his frustrations about everything else that had happened during that day out on him was hardly a fair thing to do. 

In his head, Haruka knew all this. His fury might be have been justifiable in the heat of the moment but now, two days later, he couldn't come up with a logical excuse. However, all the pain, all the ire was still lodged deep in his heart and without any way to understand it, he couldn't rid himself of it. 

The loss of control over his feelings was terrifying, and in his fear, he had fallen back into old familiar patterns and run from the problem as best he could. 

His plan to ignore Makoto as he patched him up had very quickly fallen to pieces. The merman's charming personality was impossible not to acknowledge on a regular day. When he was pleading for Haruka to just _look_ at him, resisting felt like torture. With the unfettered jumble of raging emotions boiling in him however, Haruka's greatest fear had been that if he spoke to Makoto he may have lashed out at him just as he had that night. He would rather suffer through his self-imposed isolation than hurt his friend again. 

Thinking this didn't stop him feeling like scum on top of everything else that had buried itself in his heart. Even looking into Makoto's dewy green eyes for the briefest of seconds had nearly dealt a fatal blow to his senses.

It would have been easier if Makoto had been annoyed with him as well. As horrible as that would have been, walking into that small cave and getting an enormous cold shoulder, at least they could have mutually resented each other's presence. Haruka could practically feel his blood pressure rising as his anger over Makoto's simpering selflessness grew.

The brooding cloud of negativity his head was stuck in was dissipated slightly by a buzzing from his back pocket. He ignored it as he crossed over the train-tracks that ran through his neighbourhood and listened to it stop and start for several minutes before he pulled his phone out of his pocket as he climbed the stone staircase that lead up to his house. The small lit-up screen informed him that he had missed exactly six calls from Nagisa. For one brief golden moment, Haruka fantasied about dropping the small device down the steps and sparing himself from the barrage of texts he was sure to recieve as his punishment for not answering. 

The only reason he was carrying the wretched thing in the first place was because only family had been allowed to visit Rei during his very brief stay in the hospital (With Rei's mother reluctantly corroborating Nagisa's lie upon seeing just how scared he had still been), and Nagisa had demanded, on pain of making him extremely upset with them, that Rin and Haruka make themselves contactable at any given moment in case of any developments. 

Of course, Haruka only found out about this when he had eventually stumbled home early Sunday morning after being interrogated by the emergency services people about Rei's condition. He had dumped his camping gear onto the floor the moment he had walked in and headed straight for the bath. It was only after a good, long soak, an even longer nap and a simple meal that he noticed the bright light flashing rapidly on his untouched phone. By then noon had come and gone and he picked the phone up from the shelf it had been abandoned on, dusted it off and opened it, only to be assaulted by a myriad of notification bleeps. Nagisa had sent him over seventy messages at that point and the panic in them had only increased the more he had sent. 

Haruka made the mistake of calling him back and was subjected to a 90 minute long lecture about his irresponsibility and how Nagisa had been so worried about how the exhaustion from rescuing Rei might have killed him, or that he had been kidnapped in his weakened state. Haruka would have hung up on him if he hadn't heard the real worry for his friends lying under Nagisa's dramatics. Throughout the conversation, Haruka was also fed information on Rei's status and promised further updates as they came.

_“So don't let that phone out of your sight, Haru-chan! Or I'll come down there and make you answer!”_

Which was how Haruka found himself bound to the electronic leash. He knew his underclassman would make good on his threat. Thankfully, it seemed to have been enough for Nagisa to see had he had opened and read the texts because the younger boy hadn't given him too much grief for his infrequent replies. Knowing Haruka was on the other end of the line seemed to be enough.

The sequence of texts that were taking up his phone's memory at that moment, as he got to his front door and fished out his keys, consisted of Nagisa's moaning about the fact that his sisters were all home for the summer and his parents wouldn't let him out of the house to go visit Rei. He lamented that poor Rei was all by himself, wasting away without a friend by his side. He spoke of how grateful Rei would be if a kind soul graced him with their presence. 

Haruka glared at the screen and shoved the phone into his pocket. Replying to Nagisa's spiel in any way would be letting him win.

He decided to ignore the world at large in favour of breakfast, and all throughout his preparation and consumption of the meal, his phone continued to vibrate against his thigh. 

With a heavy sigh, he put down his chopsticks and finally pulled it back out. Nagisa had gotten more blatant about what he wanted from Haruka and his last text consisted of only a picture of a map from Haruka's house to an apartment complex and, underneath it, Rei's address.

Haruka considered his options before conceding the point. It wasn't as if he had anything else to do today. 

He changed his shirt, grabbed an umbrella and headed for the door, throwing Nagisa a mono-syllabic bone on the way.

_“k”_

~~

Gou Matsuoka did not panic. 

She did not panic when she fell asleep on her history notes and forgot everything she needed for her end-of-term exams, she did not panic when her mother walked in on her kissing Chigusa in her room, and she most certainly did _not_ panic when Nagisa had called very early on Sunday morning to tell that Rei was in the hospital after nearly drowning. 

No, what Gou Matsuoka did was very _calmly_ and _serenely_ spam her older brother's phone with calls until he picked up and told every single detail of what had happened. Then she had _gently_ suggested several times and in an increasingly higher pitch that he accompany her to visit Rei on Monday morning until he had agreed to do so. 

By the time the two of them had gotten to Rei's family's apartment, she had actually calmed down instead of just pretending to and was able to give Rei a chiding for making everyone worry alongside a box of sweet tea. For the scare he had had, Rei looked better than expected and was able to explain to them the progression of his condition using the precise medical terms. As long-winded as it was, it seemed to help him come to terms with it, and when the siblings left after a few hours, Gou felt content knowing that he would be back to normal in no time. 

Her brother, on the other hand, was a different story. 

Rin had been almost silent throughout the visit, fidgeting in his seat, barely acknowledging the conversation Rei and Gou were having and only speaking when spoken to. As the hours passed he stopped talking altogether and practically shoved Gou out the door when it came time for them to leave. His agitation was obvious from his stilted movements as they made their way out through the complex but she couldn't put her finger on where it was coming from. She knew all too well that if she tried to outright ask him about it, he would shut her out as quickly as she could speak.

That was nothing new these days. 

They had barely spent time together since Rin had come back from Australia and it stung to think that Rin felt like he couldn't be open with her. It was hard to admit, even to herself, but Gou felt like she didn't really know him anymore. 

The rain started up again as they walked to the bus stop and she held her umbrella over both their heads when she opened it. Rin tried to move away from her. 

“I've got a cap, Gou, it's fine,” He grumbled.

She insisted wordlessly, crowding him against the wall as she shuffled over to his side. He scowled at the ground but let her get away with it. After a moment of nothing but the hiss of rain surrounding them, she spoke up.

“You should come home today,” She said aiming for a nonchalant tone.

“Huh?” Rin jumped, startled.

“You haven't been home in forever, big brother,” She complained, “And it's not like Samezuka is a million miles away!”

Rin mumbled something about homework to his feet, but she didn't buy it.

“At least come have lunch!” She pleaded, before pulling out her trump card, “Mum would be so happy to see you!”

Rin hesitated on the path for a split-second and she knew she had him. He pretended to fight for a moment longer, fiddling with the brim of his cap and scuffing his feet against the ground but eventually he met her eye and nodded. Gou gave him a huge grin before linking his arm in hers and moving onward to the bus shelter. 

Just before they reached it, a figure heading in their direction caught her eye. He was crossing the road from the bus stop on the other side and had just opened his umbrella. As he stepped onto the path a few feet in front of them, she recognised him clearly and gasped.

“Haruka-senpai! Hello!” She called delightedly.

Haruka only seemed to see them when she spoke up and jumped a little at the sight. His gaze lingered on her for a moment before flicking to Rin and then down to the ground. Beside her, Rin had gone curiously stiff.

“Gou,” He said as a greeting before adding, in a far quieter tone, “...Rin.”

“What brings you here?” She asked, stepping towards him and dragging Rin along with her. 

Haruka fetched his phone out of his pocket and showed them his overloaded inbox. Nagisa's name filled up the entire screen and Gou winced sympathetically. She had also been subjected to their friend's digital barrage although not quite the same degree.

“Came to see Rei,” Was his rather more democratic answer. 

“So did we! Well, I mean we just did,” She told him, “He looks good, all things considered.”

Haruka nodded politely and let her lead the conversation as she gave him an abbreviated version of what Rei had told her. She was half-way through explaining the gentle exercise routine he had set for himself in order to keep his body active when she caught herself and stopped.

“Oh, sorry senpai, I'm rambling...” She apologised sheepishly, “You'll probably hear all this when you see him anyway.”

Haruka shook his head slowly.

“It's fine.”

A silence fell on the three of them then and it grew heavier with each second that slowly slid past. The noise of falling rain seemed to grow louder the longer they stood on the wet path. Gou's tongue felt like it was stuck to the roof of her mouth and she couldn't seem to find anything else to say. She considered Haruka a friend but he wasn't the easiest person to make small talk with. She smothered down the urge to pretend that she and Rin were late for something just so they could get away from this awkward pause. 

It was when she was wracking her brains to conjure up an excuse however that she realised that the sullen silence that had settled among them wasn't that of people who simply couldn't think of anything to say. Her gaze flicked to her brother. Rin was glaring at the ground like it had insulted him and it was only when she looked to him did she realised that he hadn't acknowledged Haruka at all. He hadn't even looked up since Gou had started their conversation. He was still standing stiffly by her side, with his shoulders hunched up like he was waiting to be attacked. 

Likewise, when she turned to look at Haruka, his line of sight flickered inbetween Gou, the ground and the empty space between the sibling's heads. His foot scuffed the path in small circles. Her brother's strange behaviour could be chalked up to one of those weird moods he tended to be in more often than not these days but to see Haruka looking unnerved was certainly unusual. Gou's mind began working fiercely to draw a conclusion as to what was happening. 

The last time these two had seen each other was that night on the beach, she knew. It wasn't impossible that they were both still upset about Rei's accident. But in his account of it, Rin had been awfully vague about how Rei had ended up in the water and even vaguer about how Haruka had gotten him out of it. Gou couldn't shake the sudden feeling that there was far more to the story than she had been told and the boys' avoidant behaviour served as evidence of that. She also felt that she would never find out what it was by standing silently in the rain. A plan came to her in an instant and she put it into play before she could delay herself with second-guessing.

“Ah! Oh no!” She cried suddenly making both Rin and Haruka jump. 

“W-What? What is it?!” Rin demanded to know. 

Gou patted down her jacket and skirt pockets and felt the shape she was looking for before turning to her brother with wide, mournful eyes. 

“Big brother, I left my phone at Rei-kun's place!” She lied, praying her limited acting skills would be enough to fool them, “I have to go back and get it!”

Rin finally relaxed at what he must have thought was a silly thing to get worked up over.

“Alright,” He rubbed the back of his head, “We can go back and-”

“No!” She cried, taking a step back from him, “I can go myself, it's only five minutes away! Besides, you need to keep an eye out for the bus!”

Even as Rin opened his mouth to protest, Gou turned on her heel and pinned Haruka with a look.

“You'll keep him company while I'm gone, won't you Haruka-senpai?” She asked him sweetly.

Haruka looked at her like she had signed his death warrant.

“I-!” He tried to argue with her but Gou had turned her back on him again and was already setting off back the way she had come.

“That's great! Thanks, big brother! Thanks, senpai! I'll try not to take too long!” 

And with that she skipped out of their sight. She turned the corner at the bottom of the street and ducked into the alleyway just beyond it. From there, she could listen in to Rin and Haruka's conversation, find out what was eating away at both of them and, later on, scold her brother for this unhealthy habit of repressing his emotions that he had fallen into. 

Gou sat down on an empty cardboard box and settled in to wait.

~~  
_Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse._

Haruka had thought that ignoring Makoto as he begged for his attention was the worst form of torture he could put himself through. However, standing under a leaky bus shelter with Rin after the biggest fight of their lives for an extended length of time was shaping up to be a close second. 

Rin was the last person he wanted to see right now. Even when he had brought Rei back to the beach where they had been camped that night and he had been swamped by coastguards and ambulance workers, he had avoided Rin's eye and had spoken to him only when he absolutely had to. From the way Rin was standing, shoulders held up high and as far away from him as possible without stepping out of the shelter, Haruka reckoned he was probably feeling the same way. 

Haruka knew that there was nothing to stop him just walking away from the entire situation apart from his own hang-ups. As much as didn't wanted to be near Rin at that moment however, the memory of turning his back on Makoto was only a few hours old and Haruka was sick to the teeth of running away. He stomped down on his instinctual response to avoid any problems as best he could and stood his ground. From his experience with Rin, he also knew that letting things brew silently between them would only make them worse. Besides all that, he didn't want to upset Gou. 

Bracing himself, he looked over to Rin. The other boy had started grumbling and complaining under his breath the second his sister had walked away but now, ten minutes after she had disappeared, he had lapsed into a grim silence. He had his arms crossed and looked like he was trying to hold his own body in as tightly as possible. One leg was constantly bouncing up and down against the path and the tapping was starting to get annoying. 

He looked at Haruka for a split-second, saw him staring, then looked away again. After another minute of trying to avoid his eye, it happened again, and again until Rin let out an irritated growl and turned towards Haruka, glaring fiercely.

“Alright enough already! Knock it off!” He yelled angrily.

“...what?” Haruka asked, confused.

“You! You're doing it again!” Rin told him, stomping his foot, “You're doing that weird, quiet staring-me-out-of-it guilt trip thing you do!”

Haruka could only blink at the accusation, completely lost, and said nothing, which probably didn't help matters.

Rin's scowl grew bigger. 

“Look, I know I screwed up okay?” He spat, “If I hadn't yelled at him before, Rei wouldn't have tried to go swimming at night in the fucking first place! I know that, alright? I don't need you to tell me that!”

Haruka was frozen in place. His eyes grew wide as he began to understand Rin's words and what thoughts had lead him to them. Haruka had been so wrapped up in what had happened _after_ he had found Rei, he had barely spared any brain power to consider why he might have chosen to go swimming at night in the first place. If he had thought about it at all, it was to acknowledge the little nub of irritation he had felt for Rei for going out in that kind of weather in the first place. Assigning any arbitrary amount of blame to anyone else's actions hadn't even occurred to him. Rin, it seemed, felt differently.

He was speaking again, cutting across Haruka's internal revelation.

“And what right do you have to just stand there and judge me like you're not-”

“I never thought that,” Haruka interrupted him quietly.

Rin stopped talking to stare at him.

“Huh?”

“I never thought you were to blame for what Rei did, that thought never even crossed my mind,” He told him honestly.

Rin just kept staring staggered.

“B-But,” He stuttered, “Then what were you staring at me like that for?!”

Haruka frowned,

“That's just my face.”

“....Oh.”

Rin looked away, colour rising his cheeks and scratched the back of his head. Haruka sighed lightly.

“Rei is... a proud person,” Haruka started slowly, trying to articulate his thoughts as they came to him, “He wanted to get everything right as soon as he could and... got annoyed with himself when he couldn't. I... I also,” Haruka cringed then, “Encouraged him to practice... So if it's your fault, it's mine too.”

Rin looked back to him, eyes wide and bright.

“But it's not either of our faults, I think...” Haruka continued, “Rei would have gone swimming no matter what. Because he wanted to get better as quickly as he could. He's... more stubborn than he'll admit. That's what I think.”

Rin lowered his head and nodded slowly. He didn't look at Haruka as he spoke. 

“Yeah...” He said in a very quiet voice, “Yeah, okay I get... what you mean. Okay.”

Haruka leaned against the bus shelter and valiantly pretended not to notice as Rin sniffed loudly and dragged an arm across his eyes. 

He couldn't help however, thinking about the guilt that must have eaten away at Rin over the last couple of days, he thought about how Rin really did care about Rei despite the way he acted. Inevitably, his thoughts drifted to what had happened between them that day before the night had swept in and brought with it bigger concerns. Haruka picked over everything he and Rin had said to each other during their argument, but now, feeling oddly relaxed, he could comb through it with a clear view. 

The revelation that came to him then did not hit him like lightning or take him by surprise. It was not in his head one moment and then with him in the next. It was such a simple answer that he was a little irritated he hadn't let it come to him sooner. He let that pass through him however as he turned back to face Rin again. Now, Haruka only prayed he could convey it clearly.

“Rin,” He called him quietly.

“Hmm?”

Rin turned to him as well, actually looking composed for once.

“Rin, we should talk about you telling me I had to swim for you,” He began.

That composure was gone in an instant, Rin jumping upright from his slouched position and staring at Haruka with wide eyes, rapidly growing full of anger.

“What the hell, Haru?!” He cried, “Just when I thought you-! What does that have to do with-? We don't have to talk about anything!”

Haruka shook off the sense of deja-vú and forged onward.

“Rin, I have an answer for you,” He insisted, taking a step towards him. 

“I-I don't want to hear it!” Rin protested, stumbling backwards.

“Rin,” Haruka called him again, voice quiet but sure, “I won't swim for you Rin.”

The other boy froze where he stood and simply glared at Haruka, rage and hurt warring in his expression.

“I _know_ that,” He spat bitterly, “You don't have to remind me.”

Haruka let his anger roll over him unheeded.

“But, Rin, listen,” He urged him, gaze unwavering, “I won't swim _for_ you but, someday, I would like to swim _with_ you again.”

Rin was motionless, stuck in place by Haruka's unexpected words. 

“You, Nagisa, even Rei, when he gets better,” He continued, “I want to swim with all my friends again.”

The idea of it, of one day being able to swim freely with Rin again instead of feeling oppressed by him, only came to life for him as he spoke it out loud, but, for the first time since Rin had come home from Australia, Haruka actually felt hope for this possibility in the future. 

Rin, he could tell, was still utterly confused by his declaration, still trying to work out what his words could possibly mean. Eventually he looked at Haruka and shook his head slowly.

“I... I don't get it,” He admitted.

Haruka, despite everything, let himself smile just a little.

“It's okay,” He told him, “Just think about it, take your time.”

The anger seemed to have left Rin and had been replaced by a look of complete and utter helplessness.

Haruka's smile turned into a smirk.

“Flies will get in if you keep your mouth open like an idiot,” He told him.

That quickly brought Rin back to earth as he protested loudly.

“Hey!”

Before either of them could ramp up the teasing however, Gou was suddenly running back to them, turning around the corner with her hand pressing to her chest. She stopped by her brother's side and bent over to catch her breath. 

“S-Sorry I took so long,” She panted.

“Yeah, you took forever,” Rin pretended to complain, his voice and expression suddenly at ease, “Did Rei try to explain how his medicine worked with his immune system to you again?”

Gou shot upright and nodded.

“Y-yes! That's what happened! Rei-kun and I started talking and I lost track of time! Oops!”

Rin ruffled her hair playfully.

“It's cool, you find your phone?” He asked.

“Yup!” She held up the device for his inspection, before turning to Haruka, “Thanks for looking after him while I was gone, Haruka-senpai!”

“Hey, don't talk about me like I'm a little kid!” Rin complained even as Haruka shook his head.

“It wasn't a problem,” He assured her softly.

Gou bit her lip and looked away for a moment before she lay a hand on his arm.

“No really,” She said quietly, “Thank you, Haruka-senpai, for all your help.”

Haruka blinked, confused, and took a proper look at her. She was still breathing heavily from having run to meet them and her cheeks were flushed with exertion. But her eyes were also red, like she had been rubbing them and her thanks seemed too sincere for what little he had done. Before he could think on it any further however, Rin suddenly appeared between them, brushing Gou's hand off of his arm and scowling at him.

“Our bus is here,” He informed them tartly.

Over his shoulder, Haruka could see an old single-decker bus coming up the road. He stepped past the siblings with a nod.

“Safe home,” He wished them both, before stepping out of the bus shelter and putting his umbrella back up. 

“Ah! Goodbye, Haruka-senpai! Enjoy your visit!” Gou called from around her brother.

“Haru... bye,” Rin said quietly before turning away and shoving Gou towards the bus just as it slowed to a stop. 

Haruka threw them one last wave and stopped to watch as they boarded, as the bus continued to move and, as it gradually disappeared out of sight.

~~

Honestly, Haruka was exhausted.

Physically, he had been up since dawn to be ready in time to go down to the docks and emotionally, he had had enough deep, meaningful confrontations in the past few hours to last him a lifetime. However, he had promised Nagisa that he would pay Rei a visit, and his talk with Rin had left him feeling strangely invigorated so it was without annoyance or delay that he made his way to Rei's apartment.

Besides, once his social obilgations were all complete, he promised himself that he would take a long soak in the bath and have an early night's rest. 

It was only as he stood in front of Rei's door, double-checking the address on his phone, that he realised he had forgotten to bring a gift. Rei wasn't the type of person to point something like that out and given the rough start he had had today, Haruka could understand his own forgetfulness. That didn't stop him from imagining his Grandmother scolding him for his rudeness as he rang the doorbell. 

He shook off his embarrassed wince just as he heard the sound of locks being undone from inside the apartment. The door creaked open slowly and one baleful eye stared at him from the small space that had been made between the door and its frame. A small chain stretched across the gap.

“I'm terribly sorry,” A rough familiar voice came from beyond it, “We're not interested in buying anything today, thank you for calling...”

The door began to swing shut again and Haruka spoke quickly.

“Rei, stop, it's me.”

The figure behind the door paused for a moment and peered out at him again.

“H-Haruka-senpai?”

The door was shut over for a moment as the person on the other side fumbled with the chain before it was flung open completely and Haruka could see inside. 

Rei Ryugazaki stood before him in lilac pajamas with a woman's house coat thrown over them and fluffy slippers. His hair had been ravaged by sleep and stuck both up and out. He wasn't wearing his glasses and had to squint to see Haruka properly. 

“Ah, Haruka-senpai, it is you!” He said delightedly as he got a good look at him, “Sorry to keep you waiting. Please, come in!”

Rei backed up as Haruka stepped into the entryway. He pulled his glasses out of some unseen pocket and perched them on his nose and Haruka shucked his shoes off and put on a pair of guest slippers. Rei ushered him further inward with a sweep of his arm. 

“Sorry about before,” He grinned sheepishly as they walked through the hallway, “I never realised so many salesmen called around to bother people during the day. I've had to shoo them off since this morning. I even did the same thing to Gou-san and Rin-san when they called down earlier!” 

Rei laughed at his own defensiveness and Haruka couldn't help but smile a little too. He hadn't quite believed Gou when she had told him that Rei had been doing better, worried that she was exaggerating for his benefit, but if he was able to walk and talk without discomfort like he was now, Haruka felt that he would be alright. Rei still had a rasp in his voice, he was still a little pale and the bags under his eyes looked heavy but compared to how he had looked when Haruka had dragged away from that stormy beach, he seemed to be at the peak of health. 

Rei brought him into the kitchen which consisted of a long counter by the wall split in two by the range and the oven. It looped around to form a breakfast bar that was half as long on the other side of the room. Three stools were placed under it and Rei pulled one of these out and invited Haruka to sit. 

“Would you like some tea, senpai?” He asked, moving over to the counter and rummaging in a cupboard.

“Just water,” Haruka told him.

Rei laughed softly again.

“Of course.”

When the kettle had boiled and he had passed Haruka a tall glass, Rei sat down next to him and wrapped his fingers around his cup. He shivered as he took a sip.

“I can't seem to stay warm,” He said, apropos of nothing, “Mother said I should have stayed in bed and tried to keep the heat in but I got too restless.”

Haruka nodded, then swallowed a mouthful of water before he spoke. 

“How have you been, since you got out of hospital?” He asked.

Rei smiled as if he had expected the question. He supposed that if others had been visiting he must have been used to it.

“Well, I assume Nagisa told you what my condition was when I was admitted?” He asked him.

“In detail,” Haruka said with a straight face, the memory of non-stop buzzing droning in his mind.

Rei grinned as though he knew exactly what he was thinking. 

“Well, once the doctors had treated me as best they could, they kept me in for observation for the night,” He explained, “The treatment itself is actually a very quick process, I read up on it afterwards when I was resting. Did you know that the first seven hours are crucial to determining the status of a drowning victim? Treating the patient past that has far less benefits, and some doctors believe that providing any treatment after that time period is useless. Ah, I also talked one of the nurses into explaining how the fluids they were administering would help boost my circulatory system to my mother and Nagisa-kun so they would stop looking so worried, although I don't think they quite appreciated it...”

Haruka let him ramble on as he explained how he had been treated for shock, what medicines he had been given, the strict routine of rest he had been prescribed and how early he had been discharged just this morning. It helped him, Haruka thought, to talk through it this way, methodically and rationally, just in order to set it right in his head. He was willing to listen to it endlessly if it meant Rei could make his peace with what had happened. 

“...And of course, Mother had to go to work as soon as we got in, and she felt so bad about it, but I told her I was only going to be sleeping the whole day anyway, although obviously that didn't quite work out... Ah, you're out of water, let me get you some more.”

Rei snatched up his empty glass before he could protest that he could walk the five steps to the sink himself and decided it was easier to just let him fuss. 

As Rei put his newly-full glass back down, along with a top-up of his own tea, Haruka spoke.

“I'm very glad,” He told him.

“Hmm? Glad about what?”

“Glad that you are feeling alright. I'm grateful that you've recovered quickly. I was worried,” He admitted. 

Rei bright expression crumbled suddenly. He stared into his teacup and fell silent for a long moment. When he was not speaking keenly and rapidly, he suddenly looked a lot sicker. Haruka abruptly couldn't shake a small creeping sensation that he had just put a crack in a cheerful facade he hadn't noticed. 

“Haruka-senpai...” Rei called his attention in a gruff voice, “I need to talk to you about that actually.”

Haruka shifted closer to him and nodded. 

“Senpai, I,” Rei cleared his throat and met his eye, “I want to apologise to you. My actions were foolish and inexcusable. I put everyone in harm's way for my own selfish reasons, and that's unforgivable. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.”

Rei bowed from the waist and held his position as well as his breath.

Haruka stared down at him for a drawn-out minute before sighing. 

“So you should be,” He told him, knocking on Rei's shoulder to get him to sit up.

“Eh?” Rei came up looking surprised.

“You should be sorry,” Haruka told him with a frown, “We were all worried about you, and you're smart enough to know better. I'm not saying it's unforgivable, that's too dramatic, but the water is something you have to respect, Rei, and you didn't do that that night. You need to be more responsible in future, do you understand?”

Haruka was taken aback by his own scolding. He hadn't realised how annoyed he was with Rei until the words were slipping out of his mouth. Rei also looked shocked but he nodded quickly.

“O-Of course, yes I understand!” He said excitedly, “I'll be very responsible from now on! I won't let you down any more!”

Rei bowed his head again, and Haruka gave him a tap on his crown.

“Stop that,” He grumbled, “Just think things through from now on.”

“Y-Yes,” Rei sat up once more and scratched his cheek, embarrassed, “I'm sorry, you just surprised me.”

Haruka raised an eyebrow curiously.

“I tried to apologise to the others as well,” He told him, “But they, um, wouldn't hear of it. Rin-san only ignored and interrupted me when I tried earlier today and yesterday, Nagisa-kun actually climbed onto the hospital bed to cover my mouth! Right in front of my mother!!”

Haruka took a drink of water to hide his grin.

“I don't understand why they wouldn't let me... After all, it was my fault...” He smiled suddenly at Haruka then, and this time he could tell that it was real, “Thank you for making me accept responsibility, Haruka-senpai.”

Haruka looked away, a little embarrassed himself.

“Don't mention it,” He mumbled, “It was probably a bad idea to teach you to swim in the ocean in the first place.”

“Hmm, perhaps,” Rei conceded the point, relaxing in his seat.

A far more pleasant silence grew between them and Haruka found himself grateful that he had decided to visit Rei. He was far more at ease than he had been since Saturday night, and he could help but be grateful for that. 

“Oh, that reminds me,” Rei said suddenly, sitting up again, “I would also lie to thank you properly, Haruka-senpai.”

“Thank me?”

“Of course! You are the one who saved me after all!”

And with that, his ease was destroyed. Everybody seemed to be suffering under the misapprehension that just because Haruka had brought Rei back to their campsite that he had somehow 'saved' him. Haruka was the only one who knew the truth, and he refused to be reminded of that truth because all it did was open up the gates for all those terrible emotions that were centred around Makoto to come flooding back into his mind. 

“I didn't do anything,” He insisted, “I only saw you on the shore and brought you back.”

“And if you hadn't found me, I may have very well been swept back out again,” Rei persisted, “And I owe you my thanks for that. So, thank you very much for everything you have done, Haruka-senpai.”

What Haruka had done was isolate the one person who needed him the most. He hardly thought that as worthy of praise. 

Rei made a move to bow again and Haruka caught him by the shoulders before he could, moving him upright again while glaring. Rei gave him a sheepish grin. Haruka released him and directed his glare down at his teacup. To his side, Rei began talking again.

“Still, I really am grateful to the two of you, especially after I acted so foolishly.”

Haruka grunted to acknowledge his rambling before what he said really registered. When it did, he swung his head up to stare at Rei.

“The two of us?” He wondered out loud.

“Yes,” Rei perked up, glad that Haruka was looking at him again, “You and the lifeguard that came with you.”

Haruka frowned, confused.

“When you found me?” Rei reminded him hesitantly, “You pulled me out of the water and gave me CPR? And he was standing above you? Talking to you? Brown hair, green eyes?”

Haruka felt his heart stop for a sharp, startled second.

“Quite tall from the looks of him...” Rei continued heedlessly. 

“No.”

“...I beg your pardon?”

“No, Rei,” Haruka said sternly, “There wasn't anybody with me. I found you by myself.”

No matter how he felt about Makoto, any possibility of his exposure had to be shut down immediately.

“But... Haruka-senpai...” Rei's brow was knitted in confusion, “I'm certain I saw-”

“No, you didn't,” Haruka cut across him harshly, “You didn't see anyone else Rei. You hit your head, you were probably hallucinating.”

Rei stared at him for a moment in silence, looking through him in an effort to understand.

“I... suppose that's possible...” He said slowly, “So... you found me on your own...?”

“Yes,” Haruka looked away from him, hoping the discussion would end. 

He could feel Rei's eyes on him and held his breath until he saw the other boy nod once for the corner of his eye. 

“Alright,” He said quietly, “I understand, senpai.”

Haruka tried not to look relieved as Rei let it go. They were both quiet for a moment more, this silence not half as serene as the one before it. 

“You're very brave, Haruka-senpai,” Rei said casually, out of the blue.

“What?”

Haruka felt those words creeping over him. He had heard them before, from the last person he wanted to think about right now, and they were not welcome. 

“Well, you are,” Rei continued, blind to Haruka's discomfort, “You brought me back to the others without trouble, or without panicking... Nagisa-kun told me how calm you were,” Haruka didn't have the guts to tell him how untrue that was, “That night... When I'd realised what a mistake I had made... I was so scared.”

Rei was looking back down into his cup again, his thumb stroking the rim, lost in his own private memories.

“My head went under water I don't know how many times, and it hit me that each time it happened I might not come up again,” Rei chuckled humourlessly, “Of course, when I struggled, it only made me sink faster. I.... was very scared.”

The word struck a chord in Haruka. Sympathy for Rei was part of that, of course. Even Haruka had looked over the water with trepidation that night, he could only imagine what it must have been like being submerged in it. Something else resonated within him however, that Rei had been scared, that Makoto, when he had first seen him, had been petrified. A thought suddenly came out of nowhere and blind-sided him. He stared down at the grain of the kitchen's counter-top, seeing nothing.

Underneath everything he had been trying not to think about, that he couldn't help _but_ think about, there lay unacknowledged a huge roving current of fear, eating away at him unnoticed. 

He had been afraid. 

He was still afraid. 

“I was scared,” He said it aloud, to try and understand it, to make it real, “I-I really was scared.”

It was a devastating epiphany. His heart felt like it was going at a hundred beats per minute.

After he managed to catch his breath again, he looked back up to Rei. He had a small, sad smile on his face, rife with understanding.

“I see...” He practically whispered, “Then, I'm sorry for that as well.”

Haruka shook his head.

“It's okay,” He tried to reassure him, “It's really okay.”

And although he was still in shock, although the reality of what he was feeling cut him to the quick, he spoke the truth. It _would_ be okay, now that clarity had finally come to him. 

Rei, who had gone back to contemplating his drink, seemed to have been convinced. His smile was still small but had lost its sadness. 

The pensive silence that had fallen over them both was abruptly torn to shreds when Rei suddenly had a coughing fit. Both of the boys flinched at the noise and as Rei hunched over himself and tried not to hack his lungs out, Haruka jumped up to search for another glass. He eventually located one and filled it with water to pass onto Rei. 

The whole thing took about 40 seconds and effectively destroyed the sulky mood that had come over them. Rei smiled bashfully as he thanked Haruka, and Haruka worked up the courage to return it. When they had both calmed down again, Haruka emptied his glass and left it to dry on the draining board.

“I should go, you need to rest,” He said, even as Rei tried to argue that he was fine, “Besides... there is something I have to do.”

Rei sighed but nodded.

“I suppose a nap may not kill me,” He conceded, stifling another cough.

He walked Haruka to the door and held it open for him as he put his shoes back on. 

“Thank you for coming to see me, senpai, I, um, appreciate it,” He told him shyly.

Haruka nodded his goodbyes but stopped just as he crossed over the threshold.

“Feel better soon,” He asked of him, “And... thank you, too.”

Rei frowned.

“For what? I didn't do anything.”

Haruka turned and gave him one last smile, a little more open than before, before he turned and walked away. Rei let him go without any more questions.

He took a deep breath of fresh air as he left the apartment complex. It had stopped raining, although the sky was dark enough for him to guess that it would probably start up again soon enough. All the more reason to keep moving then. 

Haruka pushed away thoughts of the warm bath he had promised himself after his visit. That particular reward would have to wait until he had paid his due respects to _everyone_ he owed them to, until he had undone the mistakes he had made. 

As he set off, jogging through the puddles and dry patches to the bus stop, he could only pray that he hadn't left it too late to do so.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a calm after the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The usual apologies for the wait between chapters, youse have the patience of saints youse do. (Also, in my defense, I graduated this month.)
> 
> This chapter contains some scenes that I have been looking forward to writing ever since I started this fic, so I hope you enjoy reading them!
> 
> and if you're up to it come bother me at red-scribbler.tumblr.com because I crave commentary and feedback, ty.

Makoto, when he woke up that morning and immediately let his grim thoughts send him into a dark spiral of listlessness and self-pity, had assumed that things could not possibly get any worse.

The universe, it seemed, was keen to prove him wrong. 

Not only had his depressing prediction that Haruka would not come to see him for a long time, if ever, been proven wrong but he was also wrong to imagine that Haruka might still be a little upset with him after the events of the storm. When Haruka had come to look at his injury in the morning, he had not been a _little_ upset with him. 

He was clearly furious at him.

Makoto knew Haruka was quiet at the best of times but the cold shoulder that had been turned his way had nearly frozen the water where Haruka stood as he attended to his injury. The clipped, irritated orders he had hissed at him as he did so were almost worse than the silent treatment.

His failed attempts to start a conversation while Haruka worked hadn't helped either. Everytime Makoto tried to turn his head to talk, Haruka would snap and tell him to not cause him anymore trouble. That remark especially stung. It only confirmed his suspicions that Haruka was only helping him out of obligation, he wouldn't be anywhere near him if he didn't have to be. 

Every aspect of that stilted interaction was a contender for what had hurt Makoto the most but, for the moment, what was coming out on top was the fact that he hadn't even looked at him. Haruka's facial expressions were as infrequent as his words, but when he peered into those deep blue eyes Makoto could practically see through him. Haruka had the most honest eyes he had ever known.

Avoiding his gaze meant that Makoto had lost the privilege of understanding him. 

He had tried to catch his eye of course, he had begged, he had pleaded, he had even thrown himself in front of Haruka's path when he had tried to walk out of the cave. He had surprised himself with that move. Makoto had never thought of himself as an assertive person, always feeling that imposing his own wants onto anybody else was inexcusably selfish, but when Haruka made to walk back out into the rain, blind panic welled up in him and his body had moved before he could think about it. A flare of fiery pain up his back was his reward for that and he tried not to make a sound as he internally scolded himself for being so rash.

Not that it had made any difference. A flash of shock had appeared on Haruka's face for a brief shuddering moment but it wasn't enough to make him look up or stop his steady footsteps as he walked around him.

He had gotten very desperate very quickly then, calling his name over and over heedless of the noise he was making. He had spat out the first thing he could think of that might make Haruka talk to him, the person who was surely his greatest concern at that moment. Makoto was genuinely grateful to hear that the other human was recovering safely, letting a fraction of the tension he was feeling out briefly, but the relief only lasted an instant. He made the mistake of watching him leave, a patch of silky black hair disappearing among the grey. 

He stayed like that for an immeasurable amount of time, lying half out of the cave, staring at the spot where Haruka had vanished behind the barrier of boulders as though he would pop back out at any moment. It was only when a drop of rainwater hit his nose and made him blink that Makoto took note of what he was doing. With his position the way it was, he could feel his new bandages getting damp. 

He shuffled back into the cave and didn't stop moving until he was curled up against the base of the sloping sand bank. He kept staring at the cave mouth, ignoring the wet sensation building at the corner of his eyes, until suddenly all his energy seemed to flood out of him. He let his head fall onto his loosely folded arms and ignored the pangs of agony every movement sent through his body. 

Makoto's brain finished processing the last few minutes with Haruka as he did so, and he could feel something building in him when it did. It crept up his chest and constricted his throat until it eventually came out of him in one long, loud, protracted moan. All the pain, both physical and emotional, manifested in the sound, accompanied by stinging hot tears. 

He lay that way, making soft wounded noises and denying his crying jag until the exhaustion caught up with his system and he dozed. It wasn't true sleep but everytime he opened his eyes and contemplated sitting up, he would recall what sent him into this mood in the first place and shut out the world again. 

It wasn't hard for him to figure out why it hurt so much to see Haruka walking away from him again, but he hated to admit it. 

Makoto wasn't used to loneliness. He was used to a big pod, numerous relatives, his baby brother and sister following him like miniature shadows. Being by himself was uncomfortable enough when he had been exploring the sea solo at his parent's insistence; when he was utterly isolated, unable to move from this one spot on the dry land, it was almost unbearable. 

Haruka had been that almost. Being able to talk to him and, more often than not, just sit side by side and be with him, had brought him peace like nothing else. 

Disgust joined the whirl of emotions brewing in his chest as Makoto came to terms with how selfish he was. He knew he was too dependent on Haruka, clamoring for his attention everytime he graced him with his presence, when all Haruka was trying to do was be a good Samaritan. He would have done what he had for anyone because he was a decent person. For Makoto to think that he had been anyone special was both conceited and laughable. 

He was nothing more than an obligation to Haruka and it seemed he had finally gotten tired of such a big burden. 

Some small part of him knew he was being a little overdramatic. Despite the tension that had sprung up between them since the storm, he had enough pleasant memories since Haruka had started looking after him as evidence of a kind of friendship that they shared. He had even come to check on his injuries today, despite still being angry with him. While that was enough to convince his logical side that he was getting worked up over nothing, his heart still stung with misery. 

And underneath it all, under the emotional pain that wracked his body, under the small tick of sense that tried to convince him that everything would work out, even under the ache of his physical wounds, there was _something else_ eating away at him. 

Makoto didn't know when the _something else_ had been born, but he first noticed it during the two week period when Haruka had had his school exams and they hadn't been able to meet up every day. The _something else_ hadn't hurt him, but it was an ache nonetheless. To see Haruka, to be able to talk to him. The _something else_ didn't just want company, it wanted Haruka's company. He never felt it when he thought about his siblings or his parents although he missed them terribly. It seemed geared towards Haruka specifically. It crept up on him at unexpected moments, when he was about to sleep, when he ate. It sang in his chest when Haruka came to visit him, and shuddered miserably at the edges of his consciousness each time he left. Makoto had no idea what the _something else_ was.

Apart from terrifying.

It felt worse than just being dependent of Haruka for care, it was bigger than that somehow, completely overwhelming and infinitely more selfish. The scariest part was that Makoto knew that if he examined the _something else_ properly, he could probably put a name to it. Which was exactly why he didn't. He mentally shoved it into a corner in his mind and hoped it would eventually die a quiet death by itself. Uncertainty, he could work with, knowing seemed worse somehow. 

Dwelling on Haruka's cold behaviour towards him, his own self-centered actions, and even his constant bodily pain served well to distract him from the _something else_ , as much as it hurt him to do so.

Another distraction from his moping came in the form of a loud, hungry gurgle from his stomach. Haruka's unexpected morning visit had happened before breakfast and had quickly robbed him of his appetite. After that, his lethargic dozing had taken priority over eating. 

With a melodramatic groan, Makoto raised his head off of his arms and tried his best to peer outside without moving from his spot at the bottom of the sand slope. He guessed that it was early evening from the position of the faint circle of light trying to shine through the thin grey clouds. The drizzle had stopped some time ago, but the sky was still overcast and Makoto knew the dry spell wouldn't last. He could see darker clouds creeping in from the sea and could smell the scent of another storm swooping in. It would be another rough night.

All the more reason to eat now, he supposed. 

The just-acknowledged hunger was gnawing away at him, although his appetite still hadn't returned to him. Despite that, he hauled himself upright and stretched as much as he could, a new stiffness joining the hot ache in his back. Makoto knew that if he didn't take the opportunity to eat now, he wouldn't get one later. Even with his mood so low, he wasn't keen on spending the night hungry. 

He began to pull himself towards the cave mouth slowly, wincing with every movement. Pulling up the nets had been even more of an ordeal than usual. Yesterday, in between attempting to sleep off the pain, he had just barely managed to drag one of them onto dry land. Even with fresh bandages wrapped tightly around his wound, he contemplated taking it easy and doing the same thing today. 

Straining himself was what had landed him in this mess in the first place after all.

He heaved himself out of the cave and took in fresh air, keeping his body moving as he did so. He worried that if he stopped, he wouldn't start again. As he reached the rock barrier that separated his cave from the stretch of sand where he had been beached however, a sudden noise made him pause. 

The quiet shuffle of footsteps on sand, a restrained grunt of effort, the sound of something heavy being towed across the shore. Something far too familiar heard for the second time that day. 

With shaking hands, Makoto hauled his body around the natural partition and stayed in the cold shallows as he gazed upon the cove. 

Haruka Nanase, knee-deep in the water and panting with exertion, stopped trying to haul one the the writhing, heavy nets and turned to stare at him as he heard him approach. 

An achingly silent moment worked its way between them as their eyes met. 

Makoto's heart climbed into his throat. Confusion and worry rose within him and warred with the _something else_ filling Makoto with joy at the sight of Haruka, despite everything. He hadn't even thought he would see him at all today and after the way the morning had gone, Makoto certainly hadn't expected to see him now. 

He only caught a glimpse of the surprise and wariness in those blue eyes before Haruka turned his face away from him, staring down at the ground. 

The echo of his earlier aches came upon Makoto then. He had to work very hard to not let them show on his face.

The silent moment stretched heavily into a silent minute and Makoto couldn't help but ask the obvious, just to break it.

“Haru...” He kept his voice low, as if he could scare him off at any moment, “What are you doing here?”

Haruka huffed, and lightly tapped the answer that was laying at his feet. 

“The nets,” He spoke just as softly, “Your injury will get worse if you pull them in, but you still have to eat. So I thought I should take care of it.”

Although Haruka didn't sound even half as irritated as he had that morning, and even though it was what he had expected, Makoto's heart still quailed at his response. Of course that was the only possible reason why Haruka could come back. Of course he still felt obilgated to look after Makoto even when he was angry at him. Haruka considered his care a duty of his, even now. 

It hurt almost more than anything else that day, the casual reminder of how much of a burden he was. 

Makoto licked his lips and smiled as brightly as he could.

“That's very kind of you, Haru,” He said calmly, “But you don't have to do that, it's alright.”

Haruka looked back up at him again, frowning.

“...Have you already eaten?” He asked, after a moment of studying his expression. 

In spite of everything, Makoto couldn't lie to him. He had an awful feeling that Haruka would see through him anyway if he tried. 

“No... But I can pull them up, you don't have to worry about that,” He told him, still smiling. 

Haruka's frown only got bigger.

“You'll hurt yourself again,” He pointed out, “It's fine, I did it before.”

As if to prove his point, Haruka bent over and picked up the hook that kept the half-submerged net moored and gave it a tug. It barely budged. 

Panic welled up in Makoto suddenly. If Haruka strained himself for his sake now, he was convinced he would only end up resenting him even more than he already did. He would do anything to prevent that. 

Trying to keep his forced smile fixed in place as he began to move his body foward was getting increasingly difficult. 

Makoto stopped several feet away from Haruka, close enough that he could reach out to him if he wanted, but not close enough to breach his personal bubble. 

“No! No, really Haru, you don't have to do anything you don't want to,” He tried to reassure him, “I'll manage just fine.”

Haruka dropped the net again and looked back up at him. His gaze roamed over his face as though searching for something. Makoto smiled wider and prayed it masked whatever he was looking for. 

Haruka's eyes narrowed into a glare. 

“What is it?” He demanded suddenly.

“Hmm? What's what?” 

“Something's wrong,” Haruka said with a certainty that bordered on accussation. 

The panic dropped, cold and heavy, into Makoto's gut.

“Haha, what?” He tried to laugh it off, but it came out sounding strained, “Of course it's not, why would something be wrong?”

As soon as the words left him, he realised how stupid they sounded. Everything that could have gone wrong with this day had and still was going very, very wrong. Haruka raised a suspicious eyebrow.

“I-I mean-” The panic was flooding through Makoto's system now, “I appreciate the gesture Haru, but you really don't need to do this for me, really.”

The eyebrow was lowered and the glare made a swift return.

“That's not what I asked, don't change the subject,” He grumbled, “Tell me what's wrong. Did something happen? Is it your fin?”

Makoto had to force himself not to wince at the questions. The last thing he wanted now was for Haruka to have to be concerned about him. 

“Honestly, Haru, it's nothing,” He actually sounded convincing this time, at least to his own ears, “But I'm used to taking the nets in now and I promise to be careful when I do. I won't hurt myself.”

To prove so, he reached forward to grab the taut rope suspended just above the surface of the water, intending to pull the net completely to shore. Without warning, Haruka dashed from where he was standing to plant his feet directly in front of it and Makoto had to pull his hand back quickly to avoid knocking him over. 

“No, stop,” Haruka told him firmly, staring directly at him, “What aren't you telling me? Why won't you let me help?”

Makoto could feel his smile slipping away. He didn't understand why Haruka couldn't just let the subject go, or why he was so adamant about helping when he was clearly still furious with him. He almost missed the silent treatment he had gotten that morning. At least then, he hadn't had to deal with any awkward questions.

When he couldn't come up with an answer quick enough, Haruka seemed to jump to his own conclusion. Makoto saw his eyes grow wide with his own realisation and he suddenly turned his face away from him again. He took a step backwards, his wet calves bumping up against the net's rope. He raised a hand to his mouth and even from where he lay, Makoto could see it shaking slightly. 

“Haru?” It felt almost like instinct to call for him.

“I-I didn't even think...” Haruka mumbled more to himself than Makoto, “But obviously after the way I...”

He turned away from him completely then and stepped over the rope. 

“I wasn't thinking properly,” He sighed, “Of course you don't want me here right now, I'll leave.”

Haruka began to walk away from him for the second time that day and his heart couldn't take it anymore.

“No! Don't go! Please, don't!” He cried, panic and that wretched _something else_ taking him over utterly.

If Haruka left now, he felt like he would break completely.

Haruka had jumped at his call, and whirled back to him, stepping forward to close the distance he made temporarily made. He looked startled, confused and concerned all at once.

“What?” He asked, still shocked, “You don't want me to go?”

Makoto had given up on forcing a smile onto his face.

“No, I mean, yes, I mean, I-I want you to-” He sputtered and dragged a hand down his cheek, trying to order his flustered thoughts as well as quash the flare of self-hatred he felt at his own selfishness. 

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, deflating as he did so until his chin was resting in the surf. He was so tired. 

“Haru,” He lifted his head up again to see Haruka staring at him, looking even more worried than before, “What I want is for you to be comfortable. You don't have to look after me if you don't want to be here. I know you feel r-responsible for me, and I really appreciate what you've done but-”

“Who said I don't want to be here?” Haruka interrupted him, glaring again.

That brought him up short. Makoto blinked, his busy mind suddenly drawing a blank. It took him a long moment to process what he had heard.

“Does that mean...?” He asked hesitantly, “You... want to be here?”

Haruka snorted, annoyed, and turned his face away from him.

“I've told you,” He grumbled, “I don't do anything I don't want to. Why did you think otherwise?”

Makoto was completely lost.

“Because... you're angry with me?” He ventured. 

Haruka turned back to face him abruptly, a stricken look in his eyes for the smallest of seconds until he blinked and lowered his head again, glaring out at the sea. 

After a long moment, he sighed heavily.

“Makoto... I need to tell you something.”

~~

They had a brief, intense debate over who would drag the net that had already been pulled up back to the cave which was made up of glares and imploring looks more than words. In the end, they compromised and each took a side as they slowly made their way around the rock barrier. 

Haruka had to admit that even in spite of his injuries, Makoto was still taking most the weight. Haruka was trying his best to pull as hard as possible but in the end, there was no competition between him and someone four times his size. 

He also had to admit that he had not thought things through properly. 

When he had left Rei's apartment, Haruka had rushed to the coast as quickly as he could. He knew he owed Makoto an apology and after the way he had treated him that morning, he knew he couldn't wait another moment to do so. 

As he had passed through the cove where he had first found Makoto, the idea that offering him food at the same time as an explanation had come to him suddenly and he had halted in his tracks to pull up the fishing net that felt the heaviest. He hadn't expected Makoto himself to stumble upon him as he did so.

The next few minutes of conversation did nothing but worry and confuse him, as Makoto was obviously and rather poorly trying to hide something. As the merman babbled, he had tried his best to decipher the meaning behind his words and eventually drew the conclusion that he was not welcome. 

It made sense, as much as the thought hurt him, especially after the disgraceful way he had acted that morning. Makoto, as kind as he was, had clearly been trying to spare his feelings even though he wanted nothing more than for Haruka to leave. 

Which was why he was thrown for a loop when Makoto called for him to come back as he tried to. Seeing the strain and desperation in his face as he turned back around, Haruka was come over with the sense that things would only get worse if they kept talking in circles and confusing each other. 

It was time to be straight-forward.

Even as he thought that, Haruka didn't really have any idea how he would begin to do so. He had been so focused on getting to Makoto as soon as possible that he hadn't thought about the next step. 

The tide was completely out as they reached the cave mouth and without enough water to make pulling the net along any easier, they dropped it just inside of the cave before shuffling in further themselves. Haruka frowned as he spied Makoto placing a hand against his back and wincing. He really shouldn't have let him strain himself but scolding him now wouldn't do any good. 

Makoto folded his arms together and held his upper body as straight as he possibly could while lying down, before giving Haruka his full attention. He wished he would relax; not only was holding himself like that possibly hurting his back further, but Makoto's sudden focus was more pressure than he needed.

As he avoided his anxious eye and racked his brain to think of how to begin the conversation, Makoto spoke up hesitantly.

“What, um, what do you need to tell me Haru?” He asked.

Haruka turned his face away from him as he tried frantically to think of a reasonable way to answer. His eye was drawn to the net, teeming with still-wriggling fish. He nodded towards it.

“You should eat,” He murmured, “You must be hungry.”

That would buy him a little time at least.

Makoto didn't even look at the net as he shrugged. 

“Actually,” He admitted with a sheepish grin, “I don't have much of an appetite right now...”

 _Damn,_ Haruka groused internally.

He turned back to look at Makoto, peering at his face again. He looked attentive and a little nervous, but also tired. Haruka could see that the dark rings under his eyes were even more highlighted by his wan face. Something told him that the wear he saw had to do with more than just the strain of his injuries. 

Haruka sighed loudly. He had resolved to be straight-forward with Makoto and the sooner he did, the sooner some of the burden the merman carried might be relieved. 

“Makoto...I...” His tongue betrayed him, feeling too big in his mouth as he tried to speak. 

Makoto leaned forward, silently urging him on. 

Haruka tutted under his breath and turned to sit on one of the small protruding rocks lining the cave wall. He sat directly across from Makoto, ignoring the wet soaking through his trousers. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. 

“Makoto... what I need to tell you...” He licked his lips nervously, “It's not- I'm not very good at this kind of thing... Let me say what I need to before, um, before anything else, yeah?”

He hated this. He hated how something as simple as talking was so difficult. He knew even before he started that he would be slow, that he would stutter, that he might phrase things wrong or leave room for them to be misinterpreted. 

Whether his internal struggle showed on his face or whether Makoto was just that good at reading him he wasn't sure, but he gave him a solemn nod and a patient look regardless.

“Take your time, Haru,” He said softly. 

Sitting upright, Haruka began.

“Saturday night, when you saved Rei... I didn't know what to think,” He started with a shaky sigh, “It was all so sudden. He was just gone so quickly, I couldn't even think properly. When I saw you had gotten him out of the water... I was relieved.”

Makoto looked surprised at that and Haruka couldn't really blame him given the way he had acted. It still hurt to see that shock however, and he lowered his head to avoid his gaze. It was far easier to talk to his own feet, submerged in the water. 

“I knew... Even though I didn't know if he was actually alright... I knew, like instinct, that he would be okay. Because you protected him,” He felt his face getting warm and prayed that he wasn't going red, “But then when I saw you had, um, gotten hurt again...”

In his peripheral vision, he saw Makoto squirm. 

“...I fought with Rin again, earlier that day,” He internally cringed at his own non-sequitur, knowing that he was just saying things as they came to him as opposed in any sort of order that made sense, “I was... still upset about that, and worried about Rei... I took it out on you... that night and that, that wasn't fair...”

Ripples lapped against his ankles as Makoto shifted closer to him. He took in another big gulp of air and forged ahead. 

“I went to visit Rei. Today, I mean, just before I came back here... Everyone,” He sighed wearily, “Everyone thinks I'm the one who rescued him... No one knows what really happened, obviously, I would never say...” Haruka neglected to mention that Rei may or may not had almost seen Makoto; he had enough to worry about as it was, “But Rei said something before I left. About how scared he had been... During the whole thing, I mean... And I started to think- No, I realised that...”

He braced himself, and looked back up at Makoto. He was almost lying on his stomach leaning forward, his attention completely focused on Haruka. His eyes were wide and bright, and Haruka had to look away from them again. He glared out of the cave mouth, loathing his weakness. 

“I was so angry at you that night but... I didn't know why. I knew I was being unfair to you but I was still so...” Another soft sigh, “Rei helped me with that. When he talked about how scared he was, I knew that... That I had been scared too. Scared for Rei. ...Scared for you.”

He felt rather than saw Makoto sit up straighter. 

“Once Rei was on dry land, I knew he would get the help he needed. But I couldn't help you both at the same time, and you were so hurt, you were bleeding so badly,” He paused to catch his breath; he was nearly done and this would be the hardest part yet, “I was scared you had done something permanent, that by the time I could get back to you again you might be... I didn't understand those feelings, so I got angry instead. And it wasn't fair. You... Makoto, you're my friend, it's i-important to me... that you're safe... I treated you so badly, you didn't deserve that....”

Haruka bowed his head slowly. 

“I'm sorry,” By some gracious chance, his voice was steady, “I'm so sorry, Makoto.”

He leaned back against the cave wall, keeping his head lowered and shutting his eyes. He was exhausted, the weight of his confession slowly drifting away from him. 

The white noise of the coast trickled into his ears. The quiet rush of the waves, the far-off cries of sea birds, the patter of a soft rain, Makoto's shallow breathing. 

The minutes ticked between them and Makoto still hadn't responded. Haruka opened his eyes and waited.

“Haru...” He whispered his name and it made him shiver, “Haru... Look at me?”

His request was too much of a reminder of that morning and, in his remembered shame, Haruka couldn't grant it.

Slowly, a giant fingertip, the same size as the underside of his jaw reached toward him and was carefully placed on his chin. 

“Haru?”

Makoto didn't push or force him, and Haruka let some of the tension slip off of his shoulders as he let him tip his head up to meet his eye.

Makoto was only about three feet away from him, his eyes even wider than before, his mouth ever so slightly open. He looked awestruck, like he was just seeing Haruka for the first time and couldn't believe that he was real. Haruka felt his face getting hot again.

“Haruka...” Makoto seemed to be saying his name just for the sake of it.

He let his fingertip slide away and rested his hand in the water, moving back a little as he did so. He was still staring at him, astounded. He blinked suddenly like he was waking up and gave his head a little shake. His expression turned sheepish and he finally smiled, apologetically.

“Haru... I'm sorry as wel-” He tried to say.

“No!” Haruka snapped at him, sitting upright, “Don't you dare! You did nothing wrong!”

Makoto blinked in surprise and tried to protest but Haruka raised a menacing finger in his direction.

“But Haru...”

“No! You saved Rei! Don't apologise!”

“Okay bu-”

“No! Shush!”

“Haru!”

“Shush!”

“Haru!!”

Makoto's smile turned into a grin as he tried not to laugh at Haruka's stubbornness. He raised his hands in defeat. 

“Okay, okay I won't apologise,” He promised, “But can I say just one thing?”

Haruka gave him a wary look, but nodded.

Ever so gently, Makoto took Haruka's outstretched finger between his own pointer finger and thumb, holding it carefully.

“I didn't mean to worry you, or scare you,” He wiggled his finger a little bit, “I... regret that you had to feel that way.”

He let his finger go and smiled patiently.

Haruka had to turn his face away from him again. He seemed to have forgiven him instantly and that made him feel even worse. Makoto was far too sincere for his own good. It was overwhelming.

He was also far too empathetic, and caught onto Haruka's mood instantly.

“Are you okay?” He asked, peering at him.

“Fine,” He still couldn't look at him.

“Haru...”

He expected more questions or for Makoto to pull that trick where he waited patiently until the pressure got too high and Haruka spilled his guts to him. What he didn't expect was for Makoto to dip his hand in the seawater he was lying in and then throw it into his face.

It felt like a blow as the cold water crashed over him and he slipped off of the rock he was sitting on into the shallows, gasping and spluttering. 

It took him a good minute to understand what had actually happened. With the vague awareness that he was now soaked to the bone, he brushed his wet fringe to one side to stare up at Makoto. The merman was looking down at him with amusement as he grinned widely.

“You're forgiven,” He assured him, “If that makes you feel any better, Haru.”

Haruka could only stare at him for a moment more.

“I changed my mind,” He finally said, “I'm mad at you forever.”

Then he kicked a wave of water into his face. Makoto burst into joyous laughter. 

The next few minutes were intense and damp as the two of them tossed handfuls of water at each other, Haruka standing up and skipping around Makoto's larger body to dodge his attacks while Makoto used his bulk to make bigger waves than Haruka couldn't hope to contend with. In the end Haruka had to concede to Makoto's superior strength.

“I surrender,” He panted, flopping back down into the surf and throwing an arm over his eyes.

Makoto hadn't stopped laughing since they had begun and was now trying desperately to catch his breath. He had ended up lying on his side trying to avoid Haruka's blows and moved to sit up again.He shifted slowly and carefully, trying not to jar his injuries any more than they already had been. Haruka moved his arm down to his stomach to watch him.

“How does your fin feel?” He asked quietly.

Makoto lay back on his stomach with a slight wince. 

“Better than it was this morning,” He answered honestly, “Still not great.”

Haruka nodded and asked him to keep an eye on it. In turn, he promised he would come check and change his bandages every day. He also made a mental note to ask Makoto about how the rest of his body was feeling some other time. From the way Haruka had seen him press his hand into the centre of his lower back more than once, he may have pulled a muscle.

For now, he was content to lay in the few inches of shallow water and wait for his breath to come back. He let his eyes drift shut again. 

The tide would come in soon, and the noise of the rain that he had heard before had gotten stronger outside the cave. There had been predictions of another storm that night. The thought didn't bother him the way it might have earlier in the day, and Haruka realised that for the first time since he had woken up on Saturday morning, he felt at peace, his buzzing mind quiet for once. 

The whisper of moving water reached his ears, and he felt small ripples move past his body. Despite the lack of light reaching the cave's interior, he felt a shadow pass over him. He opened his eyes.

Makoto had moved to lean over him, bracing his forearms by his sides. The childish amusement had faded from his expression and Haruka could see his own contentment reflected in his face.

“Haru,” Makoto tilted his head to one side and gave him a smile that reached his eyes, making them crinkle in happiness, “Thank you. For everything, thank you.”

Haruka's mouth was suddenly dry. He nodded in lieu of an answer, before shimmying backwards so he could leave the cradle Makoto's arms had made and sit up. When he had removed himself from underneath him, Makoto folded his arms and lay his chin on them. His smile never wavered. Haruka felt his face getting red again. 

He was almost grateful when their shared peace was disturbed by the sudden, obnoxious gurgling of Makoto's stomach. Then, it was _his_ turn to blush. 

“I think your appetite is back,” Haruka said with a smirk.

Makoto splashed him again.

~~

Makoto didn't think it was possible to go from as dejected as he had been to how happy he was in this moment so quickly. 

All the dark thoughts that had haunted him since this morning had vanished like they had never existed. Not only was Haruka not angry at him but he had apologised for what he had done and reaffirmed his friendship with Makoto in the same breath. If he hadn't been rendered almost immobile by his wounds, Makoto would be jumping for joy. It was an uphill battle trying to keep a wide smile off of his face as it was, and it was a battle he was keen to lose. The worrying and moping he had done throughout the day seemed embarrassing now, when it was clear he had had nothing to worry about.

Especially when he had something more immediate to be embarrassed about.

Haruka was still smirking as he opened the net, letting its contents spill out at his feet. He gestured to the pile with a sweep of his hand.

“Don't hold back,” He teased him.

Makoto cleared his throat and shuffled forward towards him, ignoring the burning in his cheeks. In spite of his embarrassment, he was still very hungry. Now that his mind had been put at ease, the needs of his body had asserted themselves.

When he reached Haruka's side, he gave him what he hoped was a dignified nod and dug in. 

He sorted through the catch, plucking out of the biggest fish first and gulping them down. The smaller sea life would be saved for later snacking, while the non-edible debris would join the ever-growing junk pile at the top of the sand hill in the back of the cave. 

As he ate, he noticed that Haruka hadn't moved. Normally, he would give him some space to eat and he peered at him trepidaciously, hoping that he wasn't in for more teasing. Haruka, however, was not looking at him, but at the quickly-shrinking pile of fish. He looked like he was thinking hard about something. As Makoto swallowed his latest mouthful, he realised he had forgotten his manners. 

“Haru,” He called him, “Would you like some?”

He expected his usual declination immediately, but Haruka didn't answer straight away and when he finally looked up at Makoto, he realised that he had been considering his offer.

“...If that's okay,” He eventually murmured.

Makoto perked up immediately, grinning.

“Of course it's okay! Take whatever you want!”

Haruka ducked his head with a gracious nod and knelt down to sort through the food. 

Makoto couldn't stop grinning through his mouthfuls. Sharing food was one of his pod's most basic and nurturing ways to share in each other's company. He had hoped he would be able to do it with Haruka.

The human had picked up a few of the smaller fish, from their shimmering scales Makoto could tell they were mackerel, and was frowning at them. He looked out to the cave mouth and tutted softly. Makoto followed his eyeline and saw that the rain was getting heavier by the minute.

“What's wrong?” He asked.

“I can't eat this raw,” Haruka told him, “Not unprepared anyway.”

“Raw?” 

“Humans have to cook some of their food before they eat it,” He explained, “Otherwise they can get sick. But its too wet to go look for firewood...”

He turned to glare out at the rain again, frowning in thought.

Makoto couldn't help but mirror his frown. The last thing he wanted was for Haruka to go hungry. He had no idea what a 'firewood' was or what 'cook' meant but as he toyed with a crooked fishing hook that had been caught in the net, he voiced his thoughts as they came to him. 

“If you want Haru, there is wood in there,” He turned onto his side slightly and pointed back to where the junk pile on the top of the cave's internal hill was resting in the shadows. 

Haruka looked up to him and then to where he pointed with renewed interest.

“Would it be dry?” 

Makoto shrugged, ignoring the small flash of pain the action caused.

“Probably? Most of it has been out of the water for a while... Is that alright?”

Rather than answering, Haruka started making his way to the back of the cave and clambering up the sand hill, clutching his fish in his arms tightly. 

Makoto, having eaten his fill, closed over the net again. He would cast it back out when the weather got better. Then he began to turn his body around to follow Haruka. 

It was slow going, thanks to the low water level and his injuries but he eventually dragged himself out of the shallows and up to the flat top of the hill. Haruka was looking around the small area, fascinated. 

From the front of the cave, it looked like a narrow space because of an overhang of rock coming from the ceiling but when you made your way past that it was big enough for Makoto to curl up and sleep in. He didn't do that often, prefering to stay damp at the foot of the hill, but when the weather was bad, it served as a place that blocked out the worst of it. It was high enough for Haruka to stand up straight with room to spare and the sand underneath them was dry but firm. 

Tucked away in a corner was a pile of debris that came up to Haruka's waist and after Makoto poked his upper body into the space, he lay his fish down by his side and began to sift through it. 

Makoto watched as he tossed various broken and dirty human items to one side as he pulled out pieces of driftwood and placed them behind himself.

“Why is all this here?” He asked without turning around.

“Stuff like this gets caught in the nets all the time and I don't want to just throw it back into the sea and make it dirty again but I didn't really know what to do with it all so, um, I kind of just... shoved it up here?” Makoto explained in a small voice. 

He could feel himself blushing again and hoped Haruka wasn't too put off by his messy habits. From the tiny smile he could see growing on his face, he was probably just amused again.

“So! W-what are you going to do with the wood?” Makoto asked to deflect some of Haruka's attention off of himself. 

Haruka stood up and brushed the sand off of his knees before picking up half of the pile of wood at his feet.

“I'll show you.”

He moved a few feet to the other corner of the small space and took out his pocket tool, flipping it open to the pen knife. He began to dig away at the tightly-packed sand with it. 

Makoto watched him chip at the ground for a moment before reaching over to where Haruka had left the rest of the wood and picked it up, placing it by his side. He did the same with Haruka's fish and he nodded in acknowledgment as he did so. 

“...Thanks.”

Makoto beamed.

When Haruka had made a hole the same width as Makoto's palm and as deep as the first knuckle on his index finger, he stopped digging and began piling wood into it. Makoto watched him intensely, marvelling at his small, skilled hands building the rough pieces of wood into a trianglar shape. When that was done, he moved back to the junk pile and gathered a number of small rocks and a few flimsy sheets of what Haruka had once told him was called 'newspaper'. He placed the rocks around the edge of the hole and stuffed the torn paper into holes in the wooden structure. 

He turned slightly to catch Makoto's fascinated eye and beckoned him closer. As he shuffled forward, Haruka picked up his pocket tool again and held it to ends of one of the paper that was poking out of the wooden pile. Makoto heard a couple of small clicks and then a bright, warm something suddenly appeared at the tip of the paper. It flickered in and out of existence, getting bigger and brighter as it ate away at the paper. The light disappeared into the wooden structure and Makoto could hear it crackling away inside it. He looked to Haruka with wide eyes and he smiled slightly as he answered the question in them.

“Makoto, this is a fire,” He told him.

Within a few short minutes, the fire had taken over the entire pile, burning away in flashes of red, orange, white and occasionally blue as it hit a salt deposit in the wood. As it had grown, Haruka explained how humans used it for many things as well as apologising for the smoke it would soon generate. 

“I'll show you how we cook, now,” He said turning away from him to prepare his fish. 

Makoto tried to pay attention as Haruka gutted and descaled the fish (and idly thought what a waste that was), then impaled them on thin sticks but the fire took up most of his vision. 

He could help but be fascinated by it. It was unlike anything he had ever seen. It was also one of the warmest things he had ever experienced. He wasn't used to heat, the oceans were always cold and the only warmth came from another living things. As his thoughts strayed he began to wonder if it was actually alive. Haruka talked about it like a tool, but it certainly didn't act like anything else he used. The heat was hypnotic and before he was even really aware of it, Makoto had reached out to it with a fingertip.

“Ow!” He yelped, jumping slightly at the sudden pain and knocking his head off of the ceiling, making himself sore in two places at once. 

Haruka had also jumped at the noise.

“What? What's wrong?” He asked whirling around.

“It bit me!” Makoto whined, holding the hurt finger out for Haruka's inspection while he rubbed his head with his other hand, “Your fire bit me!”

Haruka cradled his fingertip in the palm of his hands gently. The look in his eyes was anything but. 

“Idiot!” He scolded him, “You've burned yourself! You're not supposed to touch it!”

“You never said that!” Makoto tried to defend himself. 

“I assume you had some sense,” Haruka grumbled, peering at the burn.

Makoto lowered his head, feeling stupid even though he couldn't have possibly known touching it would hurt.

Haruka stared at him for a moment more before sighing.

“Don't pout,” He mumbled, “It's not too bad, it'll be better in a day or so.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” He dropped his fingers and scooted closer to him, “Look, Makoto, fire is... Its like the ocean. You need it to survive but if you aren't careful with it or don't respect it, you'll get hurt. ...I should have said something.”

Makoto shook its head.

“It's okay, Haru,” He assured him, “I get it.”

After a moment of hesitation, Haruka reached over and patted the back of his hand, just once, before turning back to his fish. 

Makoto watched from a bit more of a distance as Haruka pushed the sticks with the fish on them into the sand at an angle so that they hung just above the fire. He told Makoto how the heat changed the look and texture of the fish-meat so that it could be eaten by humans. Makoto wondered what else humans cooked.

“Most things,” Haruka said, “Usually meat, vegatables... With grains like that rice I gave you once, you actually put that in water in a pot then put the pot over the fire. The fire heats the water and the hot water cooks the rice. Sometimes if the fish or meat is prepared right, you don't have to cook it either, and how much it is cooked depends on your own taste.” 

Makoto listened, enraptured.

“You can try some when its done,” Haruka said, nodding to the fish.

“Oh no,” Makoto shook his head, “I wouldn't take your dinner away Haru, I've had my share.”

“It's fine,” Haruka insisted, “It's just so you can have a taste.”

Makoto lowered his head bashfully. He hadn't wanted to admit that he was curious, especially now that the smell of the fish was beginning to fill up the small space they were in and enticing his senses. 

When Haruka deemed the fish done, he carefully peeled them off the sticks and put them on a flat,clean rock by his side. Using his pen knife, he cut of a large chunk from one of the fish and held it out to Makoto. 

“Careful,” He warned, “Its still hot.”

Makoto took it from him and held it up to face, sniffing it carefully. The smell of it was stronger than usual but not that much different. He popped it into his mouth and chewed. It was still hot but not by enough to bother him. It was also tougher to chew but Makoto had to admit the taste was enjoyable if vastly different to what he was used to.

He noticed that, even as he ate, Haruka was watching him for a reaction. He swallowed quickly. 

“It's strange,” He told him, “But not in a bad way! It's like the flavour is stronger? Somehow? And it's nice to eat something that's warm all the way through. You're a really good 'cook'-er, Haru.”

Haruka turned his face away from him.

“...Don't exaggerate,” He murmured, before stuffing his mouth full. 

Makoto stifled a laugh.

Silence drifted over them as Haruka ate and it was as comfortable as a second skin. The simplicity of just basking in each other's presence had been something Makoto had sorely missed in the last few days. Haruka too, seemed to enjoy it, content to just sit by his side even when he was finished eating. 

With only a small amount of wood to fuel it, the fire began to burn lower than before, dying in slow incredments. Makoto was grateful for that. As nice as its warmth was, the smoke Haruka had warned him about earlier had filled the small space at the top of the hill and it was irritating his throat. He tried to hold back several coughing fits before Haruka caught him and gave him a chastising glare. He sat forward and tossed a few handfuls of sand onto the last few glowing embers. 

“You can also put it out with water,” Haruka told him, dusting off his hands. 

Without the fire's heat, they soon began to feel the cold drafts from outside blowing onto them. It got rid of the last of the smoke but left Haruka in particular shivering in his still damp clothes.

Makoto ducked back under the rocky overhang that cut the small space off from the rest of the cave and moved half-way back down the hill, looking towards the cave mouth. 

The tide had well and truely come in. If Haruka stood on the cave's sandy floor, it would come up to his waist. It was pitch black outside, night had finally fallen completely. If it wasn't for the small shining specks of quartz in the granite that made up the cave walls catching the most miniscule bits of light, Makoto wouldn't have been able to see anything. Low waves rolled in and splashed against the tips of Makoto's fluke and he could hear that the patter of rain from earlier had turned into a heavy thrumming beat. The storm had already broken.

The quiet shuffle of footsteps on sand was almost lost in the noise from outside but as Makoto turned to see Haruka slowly making his way down the hill he clearly heard him sigh. 

“Has the storm already started?” He grumbled.

Before Makoto could answer, a flash of lighting lit up the cave's interior and was quickly followed by a rumble of thunder. Haruka clucked his tongue and made his way to the bottom of the hill, entering the water cautiously. 

Makoto followed him swiftly, landing in the surf with a bit of a splash. Haruka threw a sideways look as he brushed his damp hair off of his face.

“Sorry,” Makoto cringed sheepishly, “But where are you going, Haru?”

Haruka raised an incredulous eyebrow.

“It's late, I'm going home,” The _obviously_ was heavily implied. 

Makoto gawped at him.

“In this weather?!”

“It's not that bad,” Haruka scoffed and made his way towards the cave mouth with Makoto following closely behind him. 

He got two steps outside the cave and immediately ate his words as a strong wind blew him off of his feet and face-first in the water. He swallowed a mouthful of it before he surfaced again spluttering and had no time to gather his bearings before Makoto reached out and grabbed him around the middle with one hand, dragging him back into the cave and back onto the relatively drier sand hill. 

“Haru! Haru! Are you alright?” He fussed frantically. 

Haruka, still hacking up seawater, waved him off, batting away his still hovering hand.

“Fine, 'm fine,” He eventually croaked out.

Makoto took in his shaking, wet form and decided it was time to take charge.

“You can't go back out in that, its too dangerous,” He told him resolutely, “Its almost as bad as it was on Saturday, you won't be safe.”

Haruka looked up at him with a strange glint in his eye.

“Would you stop me?” He asked quietly.

“What?”

“If I tried to go out again,” He nodded towards the cave mouth, “Would you stop me?”

“W-well, I mean... I ask you to-”

“What if I wouldn't listen to reason?” Haruka tilted his head to one side, like a curious bird, “What would you do then?”

Makoto stuttered for a moment, not quite certain what he was being asked, until he spotted the small grin on Haruka's face. He was being teased. Again.

At least that meant Haruka's accident hadn't scared him too much.

Makoto still turned his bright-red face away from him.

“I should have left you outside,” He grumbled as Haruka let out a huff of laughter.

Despite the sudden shock they had recieved, their quiet contentment hadn't vanished and they watched the storm outside rage without fear. 

After a few silent minutes, Haruka sighed. 

“What am I supposed to do then?” He wondered out loud.

Makoto looked over to him. He was sitting halfway up the sand hill, his chin resting on his bent knees and his arms wrapped around his legs. A small crease of worry marred his brow and with his clothes and hair wet he looked even smaller then usual.

The _something else_ that had been singing in Makoto chest ever since Haruka had apologised immediately proposed a solution and it took the fast track through his brain and was out of his mouth before he could think about the consequences.

“You could... stay here, tonight.”

~~

Haruka was so buried in his own thoughts that he didn't realise that he had been spoken to. 

He couldn't deny the danger of trying to make his way home in that weather. Even if he managed not to be blown into the water again as he braved the battered coastline, the steep steps leading up to house would be transformed into a slick deathtrap by the heavy rain. 

He also firmly believed that, despite his hesitance, if he put so much as a toe outside of the cave again, Makoto would drag him straight back in. His immediate rescue of Haruka just a few minutes ago would be solid proof of that even if he didn't already know the lengths the merman would go to to help someone who was struggling in the water. 

Racking his brain for a solution, he gave the foul weather a stinkeye before turning to ask Makoto if he had any ideas. He paused as he opened his mouth. Makoto had sat up as best as he could and was propping his body up against the stone wall of the cave. He was looking away from Haruka and the tips of his ears had turned a warm pink colour. 

“Hmm?”

He shuffled closer to him unwilling to stand and peered up at his face.

“What is it?” He asked.

Makoto's gaze flickered over to him and then away again rapidly. He lifted a hand to rub at the back of his neck slowly. Haruka watched a flush creep down his throat with great interest.

“I-I said...” He stuttered, “You... You could stay here... If you want...”

Haruka's eyebrows rose so high that they vanished under his fringe. 

“What...?” The word slipped out of his mouth like liquid.

Makoto flinched like he had brushed against Haruka's campfire again and his face was a blazing red.

“Y-you don't have to!! Not at all!”He exclaimed, shaking his raised hands defensively as if he could bat his own words away, “I just thought-! F-forget it! Maybe I can help you get back to shore? If I stay with you until you get to dry land- That would work, w-wouldn't it? If we're careful-”

“Alright,” Haruka cut him off quietly.

“Huh?” Makoto stop his rants in its tracks and stared down at him.

“I said... Alright, I'll stay,” Haruka reiterated, looking away from him. 

Makoto kept staring at him for a long, quiet minute. The crash of thunder and drumroll of rain from outside made their own bubble of silence deafening. 

Then Makoto's face, still red in the cheeks, relaxed and a soft smile grew on it.

“I'm glad,” He confessed, “I was worried you were just going to try charging out there regardless.”

Haruka looked at him sideways.

“If I did, you would bring me right back in, wouldn't you?”

The tension fell away from Makoto's shoulders as he laughed.

“Well then, um,” He scratched his cheek bashfully, “Make yourself at home, Haru. Um, back up at the top will probably be driest for you.”

Makoto jerked a thumb back up to the top of the hill. Haruka nodded and stood, wincing at the feeling of wetness all along his back and his legs. He would probably have to let his clothes dry out somehow; right now, they were too uncomfortable to sleep in. 

He walked back up the hill and ducked under the overhang. He immediately went back over to Makoto's pile of debris and pulled out the weathered boat tarp that he had seen earlier. It was made of rough fabric and full of holes but it would make a more comfortable blanket than just lying on the sandy ground.

“Will you make another fire?” Makoto's voice came from behind him.

He looked over his shoulder to see that he had dragged his head under the overhang and was looking at him curiously. Haruka shook his head at him.

“No,” He also responded, “The smoke would fill up the place too quickly. Besides, I don't think there is enough wood.”

“O-okay.”

Haruka turned around fully to look at him. Makoto's smile was a little strained and there was a line in the middle of his forehead.

“What's wrong?” He asked.

“N-nothing! Nothing!” Makoto insisted, “I'm fine! Just... um, do you need anything? I don't know how humans sleep so, if you need something in particular...”

Haruka bit down on his lip to stop a smile from blooming on his face. Makoto's nervousness over sharing his space was annoying and endearing in equal shares.

“I don't need anything, stop worrying for no reason,” He told him.

Makoto must have caught onto some of the amusement in his voice because he grinned and rubbed at the back of head with his hand.

“Hah, sorry... You're right,” He admitted.

Haruka nodded at him and hauled the tarp back over to the corner where his fire pit was. He hoped there was some residual heat left to keep him warm throughout the night. Throwing the tarp down, he began to shuck off his wet clothes. They were definitely too damp to sleep in. He tossed his shirt and trousers onto one of the flat rocks attached to the back cave wall, praying that they would be at least a little drier by the morning. He kept his jammers on, they were at least supposed to get wet and he felt more comfortable in them than anything else anyway. 

It was only when he turned around that he saw that Makoto was still at the lip of the hilltop, openly staring at him. Haruka wasn't body-shy in any sense of the word but with how easily embarrassed Makoto was he had expected him to have disappeared back down the hill or at least to have covered his eyes. 

Instead that awful strained smile had made its way back onto his face, this time accompanied by a worrying paleness.

“What's wrong now?” Haruka demanded.

Typically, Makoto denied him immediately.

“Nothing! Nothing's wrong! I, um, just... didn't know human skin could do that...”

Haruka came to a halt in the process of kneeling down onto the tarp and shot him a startled look.

“Do what?” He wondered.

Makoto pointed a weak finger at where Haruka had laid his clothes.

“I, uh,” Makoto mumbled, “Didn't know it, um, came off...”

Haruka looked between Makoto's haunted expression and his clothes once, then twice before he realised what he was talking about. When it finally clicked, he had to bury his face in his hands to hide his laughter. 

“H-Hey! Haru!” Makoto protested behind him, “Don't laugh! I don't know how these things work! Haru!”

“It's not- There not-” Haruka managed to choke out, “Not skin, Makoto. Just my clothes, I promise.”

“Clothes..?” Makoto pull himself in a little more to get a closer look at them. 

When Haruka finally calmed down again, he caught his eye and began to explain.

“Humans aren't as good at staying warm as other animals. We wear different kinds of fabric to keep in heat. But they aren't any good to me wet, so I took them off to let them dry.”

Makoto made a loud hum of contemplation and reached out to pick up Haruka's shirt, examining it closely.

“Did you really think it was skin?” Haruka couldn't help but ask.

Makoto put the shirt back and nodded, shamefaced.

“But didn't you wonder why it changed colour?” He continued. He had worn lots of different outfits in front of Makoto after all.

Makoto shrugged.

“I did,” He admitted, “But I reckoned that it just changed in response to your moods or it was camouflage or- Haru! Stop it!”

Haruka couldn't help but burst into laughter again, Makoto huffing and pouting at him until he stopped.

“What about that then?” Makoto asked sullenly, pointing at Haruka's swimsuit.

Haruka hooked a thumb under the waistband at his hip and pulled it out to show him that it was not a part of his body.

“This one is meant for swimming,” He told him, still smirking.

“Do humans always wear swimming clothes under their normal clothes?”

“...I do.”

“Hmmm...” Makoto reflected on that for a moment, “Will you be cold then? Without the other clothes?”

Haruka shrugged and finally knelt down, holding up a corner of the tarp for Makoto to see. 

“This should cover me fine.”

“You're sure?”

“Yeah.”

“...Alright,” Makoto began to back out of the space, “Well, goodnight then, Haru. Sleep tight.”

Haruka's brow knitted.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“To sleep?”

“Where?”

“The bottom of the hill?” Makoto gestured over his shoulder.

Haruka frowned.

“What about the storm?”

Makoto waved him off with a smile.

“It's fine,” He reassured him, “There's nowhere else. Unlike a certain someone, I can handle the cold.”

Haruka almost dismissed him for the jibe but something else gnawed at the back of his mind and he spoke up before Makoto could slip back down the hill.

“What about up here?” He pondered.

Makoto froze.

“Um... well yeah, I would usually come up here with such a bad storm outside but...” He licked his lips nervously, “It would be a bit of a squeeze... I don't want to crowd you...”

“I don't care about that.”

To prove his point, Haruka rolled himself up in the tarp and curled up around the edge of the firepit with his back facing Makoto. From behind, he heard Makoto shuffling in hesitation.

“It's fine,” He sighed, turned onto his side to look at him. 

Makoto was letting his nerves show, biting his lip and lacing his fingers together. But he was considering it, Haruka could see that in his eyes.

“...You're sure you don't mind?” He asked eventually, quiet and worried.

“I said it's fine,” He turned back around, “Besides, you're big enough to stop to wind from coming in.”

Makoto chuckled softly.

After a moment more of silence, he finally heard the sound of Makoto hauling his whole body onto the platform. The heavy drag of his tail against the dry ground, the quiet huff of his breath. From the corner of his eye, Haruka could see his fluke curling around just in front of the debris pile as he lay his head down behind Haruka. 

He turned onto his side again. Makoto was only about three feet away from him but was still half-hanging off the edge of the platform.

“Comfy?” He asked sarcastically.

Makoto either didn't hear it or refused to acknowledge it, instead giving him a small smile. He let his eyes drift shut.

“Goodnight again, Haru.”

Haruka turned back around and shut his eyes.

“Goodnight, Makoto.”

The strong wind still whistled through small holes in the overhang but, as he had joked about, Makoto's bulk acted as a barrier for most of it. It also blocked out what little light they had left and as Haruka heard Makoto settling down behind him, the combination of lying in the dark and of finally being able to relax made the exhaustion that he had been ignoring all day finally overcome his senses.

Despite that, and the aches and pains that had come with his earlier tumble, sleep evaded him. His makeshift blanket was scratchy and rough, marking his skin whenever he even slightly moved. It was also thinner that he anticipated, he could feel every bump and mar in the ground underneath him, and even with Makoto acting as his windbreaker, the temperature inside the cave was low enough to make him shake, each slight stab of cold he felt robbing of what little drowsiness he could get. 

He turned over onto his other side with an irritated huff. This day had gone on long enough, he was more than ready for a bit of rest before the next one. 

Now facing Makoto, he felt a twinge of jealousy at the look of peacefulness on his face. He supposed that he was used to it, having lived this way for the last couple of months.

As if he had called his name, Makoto's eyes fluttered open.

“Haru..?” His voice was already hazy with sleep, “You okay?”

“...Cold,” Haruka admitted honestly.

Makoto frown softly.

“Your clothes?” He suggested. A tired Makoto, it seemed, couldn't quite manage full sentences.

“Still too wet.” Haruka knew that without even checking. 

He shut his eyes again, and tried to ignore the sensations keeping him awake.

“Haru.”

He could never block out that voice.

“Mmm?”

“...I have an idea,” He sounded wary and Haruka cracked open an eyelid to look at him, “If you don't like it, tell me right away.”

“Okay?” Haruka was willing to try anything.

That didn't stop him being mildly startled as Makoto moved forward, right into his space and placed a heavy hand on his back, pushing him into his bare chest.

“I-In the pod,” Makoto hastened to explain sounding a bit more awake and a lot more nervous, “We stay together like this. E-especially in icy waters... Is it- Are you okay?”

Haruka honestly felt a little suffocated. He valued his personal space and Makoto had grabbed him so suddenly, he was still a little shocked. He had to admit though that it was warmer, far warmer than expected, Makoto's chest giving off heat like a furnace. He wondered how he had never noticed this warmth before. 

With his head pressed down, he could hear a fast rhythmic thump from somewhere close and it took him a moment to realise that it was Makoto's heartbeat. He pressed his hand to his torso, feeling the slight vibrations thrumming under his fingertips. 

Abruptly, inexplicably, he felt comfortable. He knew, without knowing how he knew, that he would be able to sleep easily like this. It felt instinctual. Makoto's hand was gentle now against his back and it was the only way for him to keep warm during the night in any case. It still astounded him, how Makoto could still be so open and accepting of him after what he had done. 

“Haru... Haru, say something! Should I stop?” Makoto sounded a lot more worried now.

“No, don't,” Haruka spoke softly, sleepiness finally creeping over him, “It's fine, it's good.”

He feels Makoto's quiet gasp flowing into his chest.

“R-really? You're sure?”

“Yeah...”

Makoto's thumping heartbeat slowed down a minute after he lay down properly again, and Haruka hid a smile in his chest at his nervousness. He lay his forehead against Makoto's chest and moved from side to side, making himself comfortable. Makoto's fingers twitched at his back and his heart rate picked up again.

Despite his tiredness, Haruka lifted his head to look at his face. The tiniest shred of light peeked through the overhang and seemed to make Makoto's eyes glow, shining in the dark.

“Thank you, Makoto,” Haruka murmured gently.

The glow got brighter as he smiled widely.

“Sleep well, Haruka.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is as much ease as there is embarrassment, and many realise their feelings though only one is brave enough to say them out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho ho ho, Santa has one late present for all the good fic readers out there; a new chapter!
> 
> Although it's not all good news. If you didn't notice up top, this is the penultimate chapter of _Meet Your Storm_. The story is at a place where I'm happy to conclude it and I would never have gotten here without all of your support. Thank you all so much.
> 
> I do have some personal business in my life to attend to however, so the last chapter may not be for a while yet!
> 
> For now, please enjoy and come talk to me on red-scribbler.tumblr.com!

The morning broke slowly. 

Thin rays of light punctured the grey blanket of clouds that was still hovering about from the night before but the storm's damage had already been done. Flotsam and jetsam bobbed peacefully along in the flooded coves and beaches that dotted Iwatobi's shoreline and although the rising sun was already warming the drenched sands, the humidity in the air promised lingering rains later in the day. 

Half an hour away from the town's port, where fishing crews were happily complaining about the weather, at the mouth of a small cave that was bracketed on one side by a sharp rock barrier, a fishing net was floating. It was almost empty, with only a few small suffocated bait fish and some man-made debris in it. The tiny metal hooks that lined its edges hit off a number of small rocks, the beginning of the cave wall, as they moved with the tide, a high, ringing tune that sang with the velvet hush of oncoming waves.

The sound wasn't enough to wake Makoto.

Neither was the ever-increasing warmth at his back or the dawnlight creeping into the cave. He woke up at his own pace, in fits and spurts, and only when the sun was fully risen. Even then, he stayed where he lay, unwilling to open his eyes just yet. He had always found shaking off sleep to be a bother. 

His mind was still groggy, and his senses fed him information that it took more than a handful of seconds to process. The first and most immediate thing that he became aware of was the ever-present ache in his back and fin. The pain was muted now as if it was also still asleep, but he knew that as soon as he tried to move from his resting position, it would wake up screaming. The second thing he came to terms with was how dry he was, curled up on the tightly-packed ground. He wasn't in any danger as long as he was able to soak in the water at some point in the next few hours, but it itched slightly, the tiny grains of sands grating against his skin. The third thing he knew, was actually two things, realisation and memory hitting him at the same time. It was the unmistakable warmth of something alive under his palm, and the sound of gentle, unconscious breathing. 

It was solid proof that Haruka choosing to stay the night with him had been real as opposed to being an elaborate fantasy that Makoto had dreamt up. The confirmation only made it more difficult for him to work up the will to open his eyes. 

Eventually he cracked open an eyelid, squinting against the light leaking into the cave, and peered down. 

Haruka must have turned over at some point during the night because his back was now flush against Makoto's chest, his head just under his chin, tilted downward. The rough tarp that he had been using as a makeshift blanket was bunched around his legs and Makoto wondered which one of them had pushed it off him in their sleep. He hoped he wasn't cold. Haruka had one arm bent back under his head to cradle it and, in his curled up position, his hair had fallen into his face to cover his eyes. Makoto could feel his calm breaths tickling the inside of his wrist. 

He looked younger in his sleep. There were no attempts to hide a smile, no sullen turns of his head when Makoto said something he disagreed with, no protective poker-face masking his features at every moment; asleep, Haruka looked peaceful. 

A sudden swell of gratitude rose up in Makoto and he had to close his eyes again to stop them from watering. He was so glad, _so glad_ , that they had worked things out. That Haruka had been willing to reach out to him, when it was one of the few things in his life that he didn't have a natural flair for. That they had moved right back into their now-familiar custom of just enjoying the other's company, as though their fight had never happened. He knew how lucky he was to have Haruka not give up on him, and he was bursting with gratitude for it. He opened his eyes again and looked at him.

Makoto began to sit up slowly, bracing himself against the wave of pain that rippled down his back like he had known it would. He leaned heavily on his free arm and swallowed down a groan. It wasn't a comfortable position and he could only hope his muscles wouldn't seize up while he stayed in it. It was the only way he could look down at Haruka properly however, so he endured. 

He wasn't sure how long he lay like that, simply gazing down at him, keeping his hand pressed against his side. During his daze, he noticed how long Haruka's fringe was as it covered the top half of his face. He vaguely wondered if it was bothering him, if he could feel the soft brush of black strands across his eyelids. Before he was even really aware of it, Makoto had lifted his hand very carefully off of Haruka's waist and reached out to his head. 

He stopped moving just before he touched him, fear and cowardice gripping his heart for the briefest of moments before that damned, glorious _something else_ ripped through him and took control. With a slight shake, Makoto pressed his index and middle finger ever-so-gently against Haruka's forehead and pushed his hair away from his eyes. A few strands fell back into place immediately and he did it again, without thinking. Then he did it a third time just to be certain. He let his fingertips linger on his head, stroking slightly against his tamed hair before pulling his hand back and pressing it against his mouth. 

He froze like that for what seemed like hours, the silken touch of Haruka's hair still ghosting against his fingertips, his warm, sleeping scent hitting the back of his throat. The _something else_ filled him up completely, swallowing his heart whole, impossible to push away or hide from.

If he didn't think that it might wake Haruka up, Makoto would have groaned out loud. With him so close now, both physically and emotionally, he couldn't deny it anymore. 

The _something else_ that he had tried to ignore and abandon was clearly, painfully, a hopeless crush. Makoto couldn't try and pretend it didn't exist anymore. Not after Haruka's heartfelt apology, not after the peace and joy the rest of the night had brought him, and not with his body heat pressed against him, keeping his chest warm. 

He was completely and utterly smitten with Haruka.

The rapidly dwindling part of his mind that was still in denial protested that he hadn't even known Haruka that long, that to think he could feel that way about him was ridiculous. Some visceral instinct deep within him knew what he felt regardless of that. Any further arguments he could have made against that fact, that they were two completely different species, that he was just too dependent on him, died swift deaths as he accepted his own feelings completely. It was almost a relief to not have to shy away from them anymore.

In the same instant, he knew he could never tell him. Haruka had done nothing but take care of Makoto since they had met, at the cost of his own safety and well-being. To confess would be to put him in a terrible position; unable to conquer his own kindness, Haruka would still look after his injuries burdened by the weight of an affection that he would never reciprocate. Makoto could never be so cruel to him. His friendship was too important. 

He resolved to keep his selfish feelings locked up tight in his chest. He would enjoy the time Haruka was willing to give him for now and, when he recovered, pray that he would allow him to come back and say hello sometimes. 

Makoto tried to convince himself that once he was healthy and swimming freely again, his infatuation might die down a bit, but as he gazed down at Haruka, still serene in his sleep, he just couldn't believe it. 

The affection that had finally been let loose seemed like it was flooding his whole body and left him reeling. Combined with the drowsiness that was still fogging up his mind, Makoto began to feel dizzy. Before he could begin to think straight, he let himself indulge in one last moment of weakness.

Makoto lowered his head, inch by careful inch, turning his face to the side as he did until eventually he was able to lay his cheek on top of Haruka's. With the difference in their size, his cheek actually covered the whole of that side of Haruka's head. Holding his breath and moving so slowly that he was barely moving at all, Makoto rubbed his cheek against his face, just once, up and down, before pulling his head away again. Haruka didn't stir, his breathing stayed light and easy as if he hadn't been touched at all. Makoto couldn't help but stare at him, utterly entranced, one side of his face tingling with heat. 

The implication of what he had done suddenly struck him like lightning. He flung his body away from Haruka's, backwards towards the edge of the hill. He fell onto his back and a searing agony ripped up his spine, accompanied by the twinging of his sore, cramped muscles. He let the pain roll over him without so much as a whimper. He deserved it for doing something so disgusting. 

Repulsion rose in his throat. He hadn't meant to do that to Haruka, but his awful feelings had overridden his common sense for one terrible moment and he had done it without thinking. Not that that was any excuse. Cheek-rubbing was one of the more intimate acts in the pod. It was for the dearest of family members, for the closest of friends. It was for lovers. To do it without permission was a terrible breach of trust. Makoto wanted to get sick. 

He would have to be very careful from now on, to not let this crush get the better of him. Haruka deserved better than that, and Makoto was determined to give him his best. 

In order to start doing that, he needed to clear his mind. The air enclosed in the small space at the top of the hill smelt too strongly of Haruka, making his head spin even more. Makoto ducked under the rocky outcrop head-first and slid down the sandy hill as quickly as he could. He landed with a heavy splash, both reveling in the soothing feeling of cool water on his skin and wincing at the trill of pain that his movements sent throughout his body. He pulled himself toward the cave mouth, gritting his teeth as his muscles screamed in protest. 

At the front of the cave, Makoto stuck his torso out into the open air and took several deep breaths. Last night's storm had made the incoming sea breeze feel crisp and clean on his overheated skin and the lapping waves were cool and refreshing against his chest. He felt fully awake for the first time that morning, and his resolve to control himself was renewed. He wouldn't let the way he felt affect how he treated Haruka, he promised himself that. 

With a yawn, he scrubbed the last traces of sleep from his eyes. Even that small movement caused a painful flare to course down his arm and he made a mental note to tell Haruka about how much his aching muscles had been bothering him. It came without the twinge of guilt that usually went hand-in-hand with thinking about Haruka looking after him, which was a pleasant surprise. It made something warm and light bloom throughout his chest and a wide smile spread across his face. In spite of the acknowledgment of his crush and his lapse in judgement just a little earlier, Makoto couldn't help the sudden overwhelming of feeling of comfort that overcame him in that moment. Regardless of anything else, he trusted Haruka entirely. 

But he was getting distracted again. Makoto threw a handful of water against him face to clear his thoughts for the second time, and stretched as much as possible without hurting himself anymore. As he did, his forearms brushed up against the fishing net from last night. He picked it up and examined it properly. It was completely empty. They had forgotten to cast it out again with every else that had happened, not that they could have done so with the storm outside. As if noticing the net was its cue however, Makoto's stomach began rumbling. He really hadn't eaten a lot last night, too excited to have company to focus on dinner. Fortunately, he remembered that it had been only one net that they had pulled to shore. The other was still submerged in the cove next to the cave, probably bursting at the seams now with both yesterday's and this morning's catch. His mouth began to water at the thought of it. 

He examined the water laid out in front of him. The weather was clear, with only a few lingering storm clouds blocking out the sunlight, and the tide was still high enough for him to move with relative ease. Slinging the empty net over one of his arms, Makoto took in a gulp of fresh air and began to slowly pull himself towards the rocky barrier. 

~~

Haruka waited until he heard the splash of Makoto's body hitting the water at the bottom of the hill to open his eyes. 

He had woken up at sunrise, the natural brightness and the sea-front's dawn chorus disturbing his light slumber. A recollection of the night before hadn't come back to him straight away and for one quiet, drowsy moment, he was completely confused as to why sleeping in a cave had been so comfortable. 

As a low, heavy breath hit the back of his neck however, and he felt a generous heat emanating from the huge hand lying over his waist, he remembered everything. Haruka braced himself for a wave of embarrassment to wash over him, but it never came. The feeling of comfort didn't dissipate and he found himself incredibly reluctant to move from where he lay. Usually he didn't hesitate to leave his bed first thing after he woke up, finding a warm bath more cozy than a lie-in, but even with the makeshift blanket pushed down and tangled around his ankles, he wanted to stay put and relax just a little more. 

He was still pressed up tightly against Makoto's chest and could feel his heartbeat reverberating against his back. It was slower now that he was asleep. Haruka cracked open his eyes and turned slightly on his side to look back at him. Makoto had curled up around him entirely, his head bent low over his own and the tips of his fluke brushing against the back of the cave wall. He looked young in his sleep. His face was completely relaxed without any signs of the strain and stress Haruka had seen when he had first met him last night. His mouth was even hanging open a little and in his deep exhales, Haruka could hear the hint of a snore. It was cute to see him like that, he decided, as strange as he felt putting the label on someone so big. 

More than that however, he was thankful. He had disappointed himself last night with how poorly thought-out his plan to speak honestly with Makoto had been, and he knew how lucky he had gotten with how well it had worked out in the end. Haruka supposed he shouldn't have really been surprised at Makoto's almost immediate forgiveness. He already knew that he was too kind for his own good.

Still sleepy, Haruka shut his eyes again and turned back around again, content to doze for a moment more. Just as he as letting the rhythm of Makoto's heart lull him back to sleep however, it began to speed up and he heard his breathing change as he started to stir. Haruka squashed down the disappointment he felt. He had wanted just a few more minutes of rest. 

Makoto swallowed and snuffled as he woke, propping himself up on his side after a minute or so. Haruka felt him shift and hoped his injuries weren't bothering him too much. He decided to keep feigning sleep however, hoping Makoto would get the message and lie back down. He didn't. Instead, he lifted his hand off of Haruka's torso and Haruka fully expected for Makoto to shake him awake, calling his name quietly. 

There was a pause however and, still pressed up against him, he heard Makoto hold his breath. Then, very slowly, he felt something large and warm pushing his hair out of his face. It was gentle and shaking ever so slightly. Something harder at the tip of it brushed against his scalp the second time it happened and he realised that Makoto was brushing his bangs away from his face with a fingertip, feather-light and silent so as not to disturb him. Awake and aware, he should have been very disturbed. 

Haruka, with his absentee parents and traditional grandmother, wasn't used to being touched. Even with Nagisa, the handsiest person he knew, he could only take so much physical contact before he would give the younger boy a nudge to let him know that he was done. With Makoto, a giant sea-creature that he had know for under two months, he should have been completely embarrassed, extremely uncomfortable, he should have sat up and told him to stop. 

As Makoto's finger pressed against his head for the third time, he waited for those feelings to rush over him. They never did. Haruka had no idea why, but he was utterly content to lay where he was and let this happen. When Makoto finally pulled his hand away it was still shaking, and Haruka wondered if his ease stemmed from the fact that Makoto seemed just as uncertain as he was. 

It was an odd sensation, to be as comfortable as he was in that moment, but he was still too drowsy to examine it properly. At his back, Makoto's heartrate had risen rapidly and his breath came out in fits. Neither calmed down at at all within the next few minutes and just as Haruka was beginning to worry about Makoto's health, he moved again. 

He was even slower this time. Haruka could hear his body weight shifting around for several long moments before he felt anything. When he did, it was first Makoto's hand falling back onto his waist and holding him steady and then it was something soft, huge and warm pushed up against the side of his head. It felt too big to be a finger, and Makoto's hurried breathing suddenly sounded a lot closer. 

Despite his better judgement, Haruka very carefully peeked out through an eyelid to try and figure out what was going on. All he could see on top of him was a patch of skin, brushed pink with a hot blush. For whatever reason, Makoto had decided to lay his cheek against Haruka's head. His eyes were squeezed shut and his brow was furrowed. He was clearly concentrating very hard on what he was doing. Just like his fingertip, the feeling wasn't at all unpleasant for Haruka, just slightly heavier. Makoto brought the side of his face up and down at a snail's pace, and Haruka felt the tips of his hair tickling his own skin, before he pulled up and away as slowly as he had come down. 

As a gesture, it didn't make as much sense to Haruka as brushing his hair away but he had to admit that having Makoto's warmth even closer had helped to relax him. He almost felt ready to doze off again. 

Which was why it was so unexpected when Makoto suddenly backed away from him completely, leaving him exposed to the sharp breeze that blew in to the cave. Haruka was ready to sit up and protest until he heard Makoto begin to shuffle down the hill. The movement seemed abrupt compared to how gently he had acted up to that moment. With worry marring his thoughts, he wondered if Makoto had caught him peeking up at him and had gotten embarrassed. Haruka sincerely hoped that wasn't the case. He hadn't meant to make Makoto uncomfortable, although it wasn't incredibly difficult to do, given the delicate situation they were in. 

After listening to him splash in the water below for a minute more, Haruka stood up and stretched. There was no point in pretending to sleep anymore without Makoto beside him. Besides which, he was getting cold. He had almost forgotten that he had gone to sleep in nothing but his swimsuit. He peered out of the small space at the top of the sand hill and saw Makoto lying at the front of the cave, wetting his tail and throwing water onto his chest. His bandage was thankfully still dry. With a nod to himself, Haruka turned back into the cave to grab his clothes. 

They had been left to dry overnight, although the cuffs of his trousers were still slightly damp. Haruka pulled them on quickly, rolling the bottom of them up to his knees. The shirt was also not fully dry but he could live with a little bit of wet. He gathered up his shoes and socks but chose to just carry them. They would only get wet again when he stood in the shallows. 

As he passed under the overhang to the edge of the hill, he prepared to say hello to Makoto and prayed that he wasn't still too embarrassed to greet him back. The words died before they passed his lips however, when he looked down into the cave and saw that it was empty. Haruka frowned as he made his way down to the water. The worry buzzing at the back of his mind got a little louder. If Makoto had gotten flustered enough to leave the cave for some air, the peace that they had only restored last night might be fractured again. It was a notion that bothered Haruka far more than hair-brushing and cheek nuzzles. 

He had just walked outside the cave and had looked up to stare at the increasingly sunny sky when he heard a big splash come from the small beach that was next to the cave. He made a few waves of his own as he ran toward the rock barrier. He rounded it and came to a halt at the sight before him. 

It was almost funny how their positions had switched from the night before. This morning it was Makoto who was looking surprised, and a little guilty, as Haruka caught him pulling one of the fishing nets to shore. Annoyance quickly overtook any worry he felt. He was getting tired of having to constantly remind Makoto to not strain himself. They stared at each other for a moment, equally startled, before Makoto's expression melted into a smile.

“Good morning, Haru,” He murmured. 

If he was still embarrassed, he was hiding it well. Haruka decided to give him the benefit of his doubt. 

“G'morning,” He nodded towards the net, which hadn't quite yet surfaced, “What are you doing?” 

His voice didn't sound quite as irked as he wanted it to. All his irritation seemed to have drifted away when Makoto had given him such a soft, happy look. 

“Getting breakfast,” Makoto answered, giving the net another tug and bringing it into the shallows, “I also found some dry driftwood if you want to do your fire-”

“You're pushing yourself,” Haruka interrupted him, again sounding more amused than annoyed.

Makoto, at least, had the decency to look abashed. 

“No, no!” He tried to protest, “I was just-, I can still manage-, I... didn't want to wake you...”

Haruka let him squirm under his stare for a moment more, before rolling his eyes and walking up to him. He wasn't really in the mood to have this argument again. He lay his hand on the netting next to Makoto's. 

“I'm awake now,” He told him, “So we'll do it together.”

Makoto's smile grew brighter. 

Through their combined efforts, and with Makoto unintentionally bearing most of the weight just as he had yesterday, they pulled the net a full five feet onto the beach before the merman began to wince and Haruka announced that they were having breakfast outside. Makoto agreed sheepishly before pointing out the small pile of wood he had gathered before Haruka had appeared. 

The wooden scraps were still a touch damp but Haruka did the best he could with them, breaking them up to expose their drier interiors before digging a small pit and stacking them upright. It took him a few tries to light the fire and when it caught alight, he worried about the large amount of smoke it began to produce. He hoped that if anyone saw the dark plume, they wouldn't be curious enough to come check it out. 

As he did that, Makoto had opened the net and was already eating, plucking out the larger fish for himself as well as putting aside mackerel and yellowtail for Haruka. He acknowledged that with a small smile before gutting them with his pocket knife and setting them up over the fire. Finally, he was able to sit back on the sand as they cooked, letting out a small sigh as he did so. A hint of tiredness was still hanging over him, despite how deeply he had slept. After a minute he noticed Makoto watching him carefully as he ate. 

“What's wrong?” He asked, turning his head away from the fire to look at him properly.

Makoto shook his head.

“Nothing, nothing...” He aimed to reassure him, “I was just wondering... How did you sleep, Haru?”

Haruka stifled a smile at how shy he sounded.

“Good,” He told him, “Very good.”

Makoto perked up instantly.

“Ah, r-really? I'm so glad!”

Haruka couldn't fight his smile anymore and when Makoto saw it, he returned it with equal fervor. They sat like for an unmeasurable moment, taking in the pleasure of the other's company silently.

The peaceful spell was broken by the distinct smell of burning fish. 

Makoto noticed it first with a yelp and Haruka whirled around to try and salvage his breakfast. He managed for the most part, putting out the fire immediately and viciously, before munching away at his incredibly well-done fish. Makoto tried to express his sympathies without laughing out loud at the pout on Haruka's face. 

As he finished eating, Makoto shook out the mostly-empty net. He threw the caught fry back into the ocean and tossed the man-made litter over his shoulder to the bottom of the cliff that bordered the beach. Then he prepared to cast it back out.

“Makoto,” Haruka called him warningly.

“It's fine, Haru,” He waved him off, “It's light as a feather to me now, look!”

He wound the mooring rope back around the hook embedded in the sand before picking up the net itself and heaving it back into the water with a grunt. It landed with a mighty splash and Haruka was impressed at the distance he had gotten. 

It took a moment before he noticed that Makoto hadn't lowered his arms. They were still held up in the position he had used for his toss, quivering slightly. 

“Makoto...?”

With a high whine, Makoto suddenly collapsed onto his stomach, his arms still held out in front of him.

“Makoto!”

Haruka stood up and rushed over to stand beside his head. Makoto's expression looked pinched like he was trying very hard not to yell. Reflexively, Haruka's eyes darted to his dorsal fin but he couldn't see anything immediately wrong with it. 

“Does you fin hurt? Did you hit the net off of it?” He asked, worry steadily building in the back of his mind.

Makoto shook his head.

“Not my fin... I think I did something to my arms... They've been sore since Saturday,” His confession was quiet and chagrined.

All the irritation that Haruka had swept to one side came rushing back in an instant. 

“'Don't strain yourself', I said. 'You're pushing yourself', I said,” He groused, “But no, you were 'fine', you were determined to do it no matter what... Has anyone ever told you how stubborn you are?”

Makoto glared at him weakly.

“Actually no they haven't,” He answered, “I must have picked it up from you.”

Haruka's glare was much stronger.

“Don't be sarcastic just because I'm right. Can you move your arms at all?”

Makoto folded his arms under his lowered head at a glacial pace, hissing through his teeth as he did so.

“It's hard...” He admitted.

Haruka swept his eyes up and down his body.

“Does it hurt anywhere else?”

“All over my back... Especially near my dorsal fin.”

Haruka moved around to Makoto's side and reached over to press his hand into the small of Makoto's back. The merman let out a low groan.

“There?” He asked, a little redundantly.

“There,” Makoto confirmed, “And along my shoulders...”

“You might have pulled something when you swam after Rei that night...”

Haruka bit his lip. This wasn't something bandages and disinfectant could fix. Makoto shifted uncomfortably underneath his hand even as he nodded in agreement and Haruka felt the warm flex of muscle at his fingertips. As he did, a solution came to him like lightning.

“Makoto, stay down like that... I might have an idea.”

~~

“Ooooooowwwwwaaahhhhhhhaaa-ha-Haru! Are you sure you know what you are doing?”

Haruka lifted his hands off of where they had been pressed painfully against the side of Makoto's back and clicked his tongue impatiently. 

“Yes,” He said in a clipped tone, “It's called a massage. It's supposed to make your muscles feel better.”

Makoto wasn't convinced. 

Haruka went right back to pressing regardless. He tried not flinch and wondered if this 'massage' was something that only worked on humans. He appreciated the gesture, as he always did, but Haruka had been rubbing his back for ten minutes and so far it had only served to make him more uncomfortable. 

It didn't help that Haruka kept grumbling under his breath as he did so, particularly because Makoto could tell that he was getting annoyed at himself for not being able to help more. He tried to stay as still as possible, half on the sand, half in the surf, and keeping his whining to a minimum. When Haruka's firm presses turned to patting however, he couldn't help but turn to look back at him curiously. His neck creaked audibly as he did.

“What is it?”

“Can't reach...” Haruka mumbled. 

He was standing on his tip-toes trying to reach the centre of Makoto's back but even with Makoto lying as flat as possible, he couldn't quite get there. He fell back on the flats of his feet with a sigh and took a step backwards, looking thoughtful. His pensive look turned into a frown and he glanced at Makoto warily.

“I have another idea,” He said quietly, “I need you to stay as still as possible.”

Makoto was still unsure how well his last idea was working but was in enough pain to agree immediately. If nothing else it would appease Haruka. He turned back and lay his head down on his arms, waiting. He felt Haruka press his hands against his side again but instead of kneading into his skin like they had before, he felt Haruka rest his full weight on them and heave himself upwards.

“Haru?!” He cried, startled.

“Stay still!” Haruka urged him, his feet now dangling off the ground. 

Makoto was frozen as Haruka pulled his body up onto Makoto's back and straddled his torso. His feet just about touched the sides of his waist. 

“Haru...” Makoto called him once he felt him settle down in the centre of his back, “Um, what are you...?”

“It's just so I can reach everything properly,” He was quick to reassure him, “I can get off if you're not comfortable with it.”

“N-no, Haru, if it's what you have to do...”

“I won't do it if you don't want me to, just tell me.”

Makoto took a moment to actually consider it. Haruka wasn't particularly heavy, if anything the pressure he exerted was more distributed now and wasn't setting off his sore muscles as much. Honestly, he didn't mind Haruka where he was, he had just been surprised at the sudden movement.

“No, Haru,” His voice was firmer now, “You're fine where you are. Do your best, okay?”

Haruka was silent for a minute and Makoto peered over his shoulder to give him a reassuring smile.

“You're sure?” Haruka asked, “I'm not too heavy?”

He shook his head before turned back around. 

“Light as a feather,” He repeated his sentiment from earlier.

Haruka snorted in amusement and got to work again.

He moved down to sit in the small of Makoto's back and the merman let out a little grunt at the change. Haruka stilled for a moment before leaning forward to rub his hands up and down Makoto's spine. Once he had gotten used to the sensation, it became quite soothing. With Haruka's change in elevation, the pressure he was pushing into Makoto's back was less painful and, after a few minutes, he actually felt the tightness in his muscles start to fade away. He let out a low hum involuntarily.

“What?” Haruka asked him without stopping.

“I think it's working,” He whispered, as if afraid talking too loudly could scare the feeling away. 

He didn't have to look back to know he had made Haruka smile. 

Makoto lost track of time, lazily watching the sun rise higher in increments as Haruka's rhythmic push-and-pull movements fell into step with those of the tide. He eventually finished with the middle of Makoto's back and, after checking with him that he had managed to lessen some of the pain, he turned around where he sat and moved to the centre of his spine while massaging the space that he had just moved from. Makoto couldn't hold back a quiet moan as he worked out the knots that had formed there. There seemed to be a lot more than he had imagined. Haruka let out a strained grunt before sighing. 

“It feels very tight,” He told him, “Probably because you've been like this for a couple of days...” 

Makoto heard the slight admonishing tone in his voice and couldn't ignore the prick of guilt he felt. He turned his head to look at him and tried to lighten the mood.

“Well with everything that happened last night and what we had to talk about, I guess it's not a surprise that some things -haha- slipped through the net!”

Haruka turned to look at him over his shoulders, his face completely blank.

“G-get it?” Makoto felt his smile slipping away very quickly, “Because... me casting the net out is why... why you're doing this a-at all..?”

Staring him dead in the eye, Haruka raised a clenched fist and then brought it hard down onto the small of his back. Makoto yelped painfully before falling into a boneless heap. 

He stewed silently for a minute as Haruka gently rubbed the area he had just punched.

“That was a good one,” Makoto grumbled petulantly.

“It really wasn't,” Haruka immediately responded.

The worst part was, in Makoto's opinion, that the sudden rough behaviour had actually helped to loosen some of those stubborn knots and soon enough, Haruka was turning around on top of him again and getting to work on soothing his aching shoulders. 

His hands still provided a cool contrast against his overheated skin despite the fact that they had been in constant movement for the better part of an hour. Makoto was actually getting accustomed to Haruka's weight on top of him. He dragged his spread palms up and around his sore shoulder blades before turning his hands on their sides and tapping quickly and lightly. Makoto let his eyes drift shut as he embraced the feeling. 

It was strange to think that only a short while ago he had been terrified of this close contact. He had shook and near-panicked when he had been the one touching Haruka but with their roles reversed, Makoto felt like he could trust him completely. That nearly brought him as much relief as the massage, to know that he didn't have to keep his guard up around him anymore. 

It helped to know that, despite everything, Haruka _was_ still four times smaller than him and couldn't do any serious harm with just his soft hands, even if he had wanted to.

Makoto became almost _too_ relieved however and it wasn't until he felt Haruka trying to shake his shoulder and call his name that he realised that he had been falling asleep. 

“Huh? What?” 

He opened his eyes quickly and peered over his shoulder at Haruka. The action didn't hurt like it had before.

“Comfy?” Haruka asked sardonically.

“Yes, actually,” Makoto responded in kind, “Are you done?”

“I think so, tell me how you feel.”

Makoto propped himself up on his forearms and rolled his shoulders back. There was still pain in his muscles but it felt more like the ache felt after exercise rather than an agony that paralyzed his movements. He also felt Haruka fall from his position as he accidentally tipped him backwards.

“Sorry,” Makoto grinned at him sheepishly. 

Haruka threw him an unimpressed look before he slipped off of his back and landed back on the sand. He turned back to him expectantly.

“Better,” Makoto said, and then, more honestly, “It still a bit sore but that really did help, thank you Haru.”

He acknowledged that by turning his face to one side and nodding. Makoto was beginning to find the gesture hopelessly endearing. 

“We'll keep an eye on it as you heal,” Haruka assured him before looking him in the face again thoughtfully.

“What?” Makoto tipped his head to one side curiously.

“Maybe...” Haruka murmured to himself before speaking up, “Are you able to sit up?”

Makoto considered it nonplussed, but nodded after a moment. He braced his arms against the sand and pushed upward, swinging his tail slowly around in front of him so he could use it for balance. He pulled his torso upright then. It hurt, but far less than dragging himself out to the beach in the first place had. The ground was a lot further away now, and he noted with amusement how Haruka had to crane his neck up high to look at him. 

“Apparently, yes.”

“I had a thought,” Haruka's voice sounded a lot quieter from his vantage point, “If you do some stretching during the day, it might stop your muscles from seizing up again.”

Makoto nodded along, willing to try.

They spent the rest of the morning working through a series of gentle stretches,with Makoto learning how to move his upper body muscles and rotate his waist to keep them loose without aggravating his injuries further, Haruka guiding him every step of the way. 

Makoto felt warm inside and out. The sun shined bright and hot even though it sometimes clouded over and the light exercise left a thin sheen of sweat on both of them. Makoto knew, however, that most of the heat he felt was coming from deep inside him. 

His newly-acknowledged feelings for Haruka, rather than frightening him as they had earlier, had now settled into his system. He felt them cover him like a second skin. Being able to speak with Haruka had actually helped. He found himself willing to be more honest and open, Haruka's presence making it all too easy to do so. And even as he watched him bend down to touch his toes, Makoto felt his resolve to keep those feelings to himself renewed. Earlier in the morning, he had vowed to behave but now he honestly felt as though it was possible. Moments like these were far too precious to try and change. 

He thoroughly ignored the pang of pain the thought sent into his heart. 

They finished up their exercise routine and Haruka repeated his promises to come check on him every day, to change his bandages and lay hands on him again if that was what was needed. He said it all as he gathered his things up and with a tiny smile that he tried to hide as he did so. The idea of being cared for no longer filled Makoto with a nauseating guilt, but with a feeling that was softer and far more pleasant. 

He stayed where he sat as Haruka began to climb over the large pile of boulders that bordered the side of the beach opposite to the cave and returned the wave he gave him just before he disappeared over the top.

“See you tomorrow,” He promised.

Makoto could hardly wait.

~~

Their routine continued like that for a week, with Haruka visiting Makoto every evening or every morning to share a meal. Sometimes they would share what had been caught in the nets, other times Haruka would make his own meal at home and bring it down to the coast. It was only after that that he would check on Makoto's injuries. 

His fin was recovering at a phenomenal pace, as though Makoto had never reopened the wound at all. The couple of inches of flesh that had been torn away would never grow back, but Makoto assured him that he didn't miss them much. 

Likewise, the careful exercise that they had gotten into the habit of doing was helping Makoto keep his strength up until he could swim again. Haruka also suspected that it helped keep his mind as active as his body. He seemed much more upbeat now then when he had just laid around in the cave all day. More often than not, Haruka would give him a light massage to cool down with after these sessions. He would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that they relaxed him as much as they seemed to relax Makoto. 

The weather got better as the days went on until the rainy showers became incredibly scattered and the summer sun came into its bright, beaming own. Haruka never needed to spend the night with Makoto again. He never asked to, and in turn Makoto never wondered whether or not he might like to. After the day that he had woken up in his arms, they hadn't said another word about it.

Which was fine for Haruka, of course. He didn't mind at all. 

There was no need for him to stay overnight in the cave anymore. It had been a one-time deal, a matter of convenience, nothing more, and Haruka was perfectly content with that. 

He didn't understand why he couldn't stop thinking about it. 

Ever since he had left Makoto that morning, it had occupied a space in his mind. Usually it was small and ignorable but at times over the course of the week, Makoto might do or say something that brought those memories rushing back to him. He couldn't shake it off no mater how hard he tried. The night afterwards, when he had returned to his home, he had struggled for half the night to sleep in his own bed. The whole house suddenly felt too cold for him. 

It wasn't so much that he had enjoyed sleeping in the cave itself but remembering it kept evoking those feelings of comfort and ease that he had felt when he had been lying in Makoto's embrace. They were feelings that he still didn't quite understand. If it had been anyone else, Haruka knew that he would have much preferred his personal space regardless of how much he needed the other's body warmth. With Makoto, it had almost seemed natural, like it had been the norm rather than an exception. 

Haruka knew what he liked, and liked when things were simple to manage. Whether it was his work, his school career or his friendships, he was most happy when he was completely certain of his position. The memory of that night was bucking against the pleasant groove that he had made for himself in Makoto's life. He resolved to devote some serious thought to the unwarranted feelings and sort them out as soon as possible so he could get on with taking care of his friend. 

That is what was occupying his mind as he made his way through Iwatobi's main street. He had spent the morning with Makoto, having made his own breakfast the night before, and took a detour before heading home to replenish his food supplies. He had only realised that he had run out of rice and loose tea yesterday evening, and his store of fish had gotten dangerously low. In only a week he had let himself become too used to getting it as fresh as possible from the sea. He berated himself silently for his negligence as he passed the fabric shopping bag from one hand to the other, fidgeting under its weight. As soon as he got back home, he would sit down and force his mind to sort out his errant thoughts without any delays or distractions.

“Haru-chan! Over here, Haru-chan! Hi!!”

He stopped in his tracks to stare at a women's clothing shop across the street. Standing outside it, frantically hollering his name and waving his arms for his attention was Nagisa Hazuki. 

_So much for no distractions,_ Haruka thought as he crossed the road to join the younger boy. 

“Haru-chan!” He greeted him brightly as he approached, “You have no idea how glad I am to see you! I need you to-”

“Nagisa-chan? Who's this?”

A young college-aged woman walked up behind Nagisa and cut him off mid-sentence which Haruka couldn't help but think was impressive. She was an inch or two taller than him and longer in the face, but her eyes were the same shade and shape as his. Nagisa practically jumped out of his skin when she appeared.

“Ah, this is Haruka Nanase, Big Sis! He's one of my best friends! From school!” He hurriedly explained.

As weird as it was to hear Nagisa use his full name, it was even weirder for Haruka to realise that he was looking at one of the sisters that Nagisa had told so many horror stories about. He had been told their names countless times but in that moment he was drawing a distinct blank.

Not that she seemed to care.

“Ooh!” She cooed, “So you're one of Nagisa-chan's little classmates, that's so cute!”

“Aha, actually Sis, Haru-chan is in the year above me,” Nagisa told her, sounding strained. 

“Oh! Oh-ho, really?” She sounded even more interested all of a sudden, turning to look Haruka up and down with wide eyes, “Nagisa-chan never told me he was friends with someone so... handsome.”

She tilted her head to one side and grinned. Haruka wondered if he was supposed to be flattered. 

“A-HA-HA, hey Sis!” Nagisa bodily inserted himself in between the two of them, “Didn't you want to have a look around in there?” He nodded rapidly towards the clothes shop they were standing outside.

Her attention immediately turned to the shop's window display and she nodded.

“That's right,” She agreed, “Hey, here's an idea! Why don't you chat with your cute friend while I look and I'll be out super-quick!”

“That's a great idea!” Nagisa kept nodding and Haruka began to worry about his neck, “We'll be right outside! Waiting!”

She gave them both a sunny smile and disappeared into the shop with a ringing laugh. As soon as she was gone, Nagisa turned on his heel and caught Haruka's arms in a vice-like grip. He looked up at him with a smile that was fake and desperate, and a look in his eye that was screaming for help.

“Haru-chan,” He whispered, “Save me.”

Haruka took note of the fact that there were at least five bulging plastic bags hanging from each of his wrists, there was an increasingly frantic expression on his face and remembered how Nagisa had told him over a week ago that all three of his sisters were spending the start of the summer at home.

“Nope,” Haruka informed him, “You're doomed.”

“Haarruuuuuu-channnnnnn!” He wailed.

Nagisa's face fell into a look of despair and he threw himself at the older boy, wrapping his arms tight around him and pushing his head into his chest. He started babbling into his shirt but it took Haruka a second to decipher the muffled noise.

“-And I like shopping, Haru-chan, you know I do! But this isn't fun, this is just seeing how much stuff she can make me carry before I collapse and die!”

“Okay, stop, deep breath.”

Haruka put a hand on his head and ruffled his hair to let him know that hug time was over. As Nagisa stepped back sniffling, Haruka took him by the hand and lead him over to one of the benches lining the street about ten feet away from the shop. He pushed him gently into a seated position. 

“Stay right there,” He told him before turning around to order from one of the vending machines that stood against the wall behind the bench. 

As he came back with his purchases, he saw that Nagisa had slid the heavy shopping bags off of his wrists and was trying to rub away the indentations they had made in his skin. Haruka frowned a little at the sight. As melodramatic as Nagisa was being over his sisterly woes, Haruka had always held a slight grudge against the older girls ever since they had pulled a prank on Nagisa when they were younger that had almost made him give up swimming forever. 

He gave him a can of iced caramel coffee before sitting beside and opening the water bottle he had gotten for himself. Nagisa gasped in delight at the cool metal against his skin.

“Haru-chan, my angel!” 

He cracked it open and took two huge swallows before sitting back with a sigh. When he began to look a fraction more relaxed, Haruka spoke.

“So,” He prompted, “How are you?”

That was all it took. Nagisa immediately launched into a huge spiel of how awful things had been since his sisters came home, about how everything revolved around them, about how his parents let them get away with anything, and how he was expected to wait on them hand-and-foot and be grateful for it because they were his sisters and didn't he care that they never got to see him anymore? Haruka let him rage against familial bonds for a few minutes until something he said caught his attention.

“-And you know what the worst thing is? I've only been able to visit Rei-chan, like, three times since they've come! I told them how badly he got hurt and everything but that doesn't matter! Instead I have to listen to Big Sis Sayuri's fiance for the billionth time! It's terrible!”

Haruka nodded, understanding that being able to see Rei was as important for Nagisa's well-being as it was for Rei's.

“How has he been?” He asked, cutting him off before he could begin complaining again.

Nagisa gave him an odd look.

“You've been to see him, haven't you Haru-chan?” He asked.

“Yes. Of course.”

Nagisa's own incessant texts the day he had made up with Makoto had made sure of that. The younger boy looked like he didn't quite believe him.

“Haru-chan... honestly.”

“I did,” He insisted, “Once.”

“Haru-chan!” He immediately chastised him, “When I asked you to keep him company I didn't mean just once!!”

He began to nuzzle the side of his arm with the top of his head to annoy him.

“We text,” Haruka murmured defensively.

It was true. The day after Haruka had spent the night with Makoto he had discovered a text on his phone from Rei thanking him for his visit and just a couple of days ago, Haruka had wordlessly sent him a picture of the first butterfly he had seen this summer. 

Nagisa sat up straight and tried to to look stern.

“That's not good, Haru-chan! Rei-chan is a shell of a man, wasting away without anyone by his side!”

Haruka frowned, worried.

“Really...?”

Nagisa deflated when he saw his genuine concern.

“Well... no, not _really..._ ”

“Nagisa!”

“But I know he would really like you to come see him again!” Nagisa cried. 

Haruka glared at him for giving him a scare before repeating his unanswered question.

“So, how is he? _Really?_ ”

Nagisa smiled apologetically before answering.

“Physically, he's good! After he left the hospital that Sunday, he pretty much had the all clear but the doctor wanted him to rest for a few days just to be sure. And then his Mom put him under house arrest for the rest of the week, haha! He told me that the worst thing was fighting off the boredom more than anything.”

Haruka could see that. For someone who spent every second of the day absorbing every scrap of information he was given, Rei must have been going stir-crazy. 

“Do you know what's weird though?” Nagisa continued, “Well, I guess it's good too but... Rei-chan said that he didn't want to stop learning how to swim. He said that what happened happened because of a mistake he made... But he really enjoyed swimming with all of us! That's great, isn't it?”

Haruka was speechless. He nodded, astounded.

“That.. is great,” He replied, in awe of Rei's strength. 

“I know, right!” Nagisa said, looking properly happy for the first time since the start of their conversation, “And because he was so bored, Rei-chan came up with a new lesson plan and everything! He really wants your input on it, by the way.”

Haruka nodded again, feeling something akin to eager.

“Okay! So he was also talking to Rin-chan and apparently he got him to agree to talk with his school's swim team captain about using their indoor pool for practice! It would be after hours and we would have to be supervised but with the way Rei-chan is acting maybe that's not such a bad thing, right? And Rin-chan even said that- Oh!”

Nagisa suddenly stopped talking and bit his lip, looking at Haruka worriedly.

“What?” Haruka leaned forward to encourage him.

“Ah no, I just wasn't thinking...” He muttered, “Would you... would you be okay with all of that Haru-chan?”

“Okay with what?” 

Haruka was confused. It sounded like a sound idea to him.

“With... with Rin-chan there and everything...” Nagisa said in a whisper.

It took a moment for Haruka to understand what he meant.

“Oh. That. That's fine.”

“Really?” Nagisa asked doubtfully.

“Yeah,” Haruka assured him, “We talked about it.”

“What?” Nagisa jumped in his seat, “What do you mean you talked about it? When did you talk about it? Is everything okay now? Are you friends again? Why don't you tell me these things when they happen, Haru-chan?!”

“I mean we talked about what happened,” Haruka took his questions one at a time, “When I went to visit Rei, I bumped into him and Gou. Everything's fine...” He hesitated a little on the last question, “Not yet, I don't think. But we will be. He just needs time, I think. I do too.”

Nagisa suddenly burst into a huge smile. Haruka was taken aback.

“I'm so glad! You had me so worried! I'm so glad, Haru-chan!” He cheered.

Haruka resisted the urge to pat him on the head again.

“Sorry,” He mumbled.

Nagisa shook his head and sat back again, taking a sip of his coffee before sighing. Haruka let him sit in silence before he spoke again.

“How are you? Really?” He asked sincerely.

Nagisa laughed softly. 

“I'm okay, Haru-chan,” He told him, “It is good to see my sisters even though they're annoying. And I sleep better knowing that Rei-chan is healthy and being so brave. He's really cool.”

Haruka nodded grateful for the honesty. He was content then to sit in silence and let Nagisa catch his breath but the younger boy began speaking without prompt again. 

“Can I tell you something, Haru-chan?”

He nodded immediately, sitting up straight.

“When Rei-chan nearly drowned I... You saw how scared I was...”

Haruka frowned. The memory of Nagisa's pallid face was one that would stick with him forever. 

“And later on, I thought that if it had been you or Rin-chan that had been hurt I would have been just as scared...” He was struggling with his words, “But then, I wasn't sure if that was true. I didn't know if I would be _as_ scared and I thought how horrible a friend I was...”

Haruka opened his mouth to protest loudly.

“And _then,_ ” Nagisa interrupted him unknowingly, “I just started thinking about Rei-chan in general... About how much I like spending time with him and teasing him... It's so nice having a friend my own age, y'know? And the more I thought about it, the more I realised...”

Nagisa looked over to where the clothes shop was before turning back to Haruka. He looked almost fearful.

“I think... I think I might like Rei-chan...” He admitted, “Not only as a friend... Of course, I like Rei-chan very much as my friend but-”

“You have a crush on him,” Haruka concluded out loud.

Nagisa nodded a little miserably, and waited silently for judgement. Haruka considered his confession. Honestly, it wasn't that much of a surprise all things considered. He told Nagisa as much. The younger boy laughed weakly.

“Was it that obvious?” He wondered out loud.

“You tease him like a little kid in the schoolyard,” Haruka confirmed.

Nagisa withdrew into himself a little bit.

“I guess Rei-chan must have noticed it too, huh?”

“Nope,” Haruka quickly shot down that idea, “He's too dense about that kind of thing.”

“That's rich coming from you, Haru-chan!” Nagisa shot back at him.

Haruka snorted amusedly. That seemed to put Nagisa at ease.

“So... you don't think it's weird then? Me liking another boy?” He asked.

“Why would it be weird?” Haruka asked right back, “I don't really think that kind of thing matters when it comes down to it.”

“I guess not,” Nagisa sighed contentedly and sat back on the bench.

He began to hum tunelessly and Haruka let the noise drift over him.

“Hey,” Nagisa elbowed his side, “Thanks, Haru-chan.”

Haruka was confused again, he didn't think he had done anything worth thanking him for. Instead of questioning it, he asked the first thing that came to him.

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Haha!” Nagisa laughed nervously, “Gee Haru-chan, ask the big questions right off the bat, why don't you?”

He waited silently for an answer. Nagisa sighed again and slumped against the back of the bench.

“I don't know,” He confessed, “Sometimes, he'll do something or say something that makes me think he definitely feels the same way and that I should just go for it but... other times, I think he's just being polite or friendly and if I told him, I might mess everything up... I don't want to make him uncomfortable or not be my friend anymore because of it...”

“Rei won't stop being your friend because of that. He's not that kind of person,” He might not have known Rei as well as Nagisa but he was certain of that, “Even if he doesn't feel the same.”

Nagisa shrugged. 

“I know, I know. You're probably right,” He agreed, “I just... I don't want to even risk it. Even if it hurts keeping these kind of feelings inside, I don't want to ruin what I have with Rei-chan. It's too important and great, what's already there. Do you know what I mean?”

“I do,” Haruka spoke without thinking.

Nagisa paused and looked at him oddly. 

“You do?”

Haruka had frozen the instant the words had left his mouth. That had been immediate and automatic but they didn't make sense. Haruka didn't have a crush on anyone. He didn't even consider himself to be close enough to anyone that being completely honest with them might ruin their relationship. He had no idea what Nagisa was going through. 

But the words had come anyway and with them had come a feeling that he couldn't deny. It was a certainty that what he had said had been deeply and fundamentally true. That somehow, without knowing when or understanding how it happened, he completely empathized with Nagisa's fear. He just didn't know why he felt that way.

Before he could begin to explain any of that to Nagisa, a high voice called to them from a distance.

“Nagisa-chan! I'm finished! Say goodbye to your cute little friend and come help me!”

Haruka bristled at the nickname and turned to see Nagisa's sister beckoning to them. She had two more plastic bags in one of her hands. He turned back and smirked when he saw how pale Nagisa had gotten. 

“Into the breach once more,” He muttered.

Nagisa glared at him.

“Oh shut up,” He whined before he stood up and threw his empty can into the bin beside him.

He picked up the bags at his feet and began to make his way back to his sister. 

“Thanks for keeping me company, Haru-chan!” He called over his shoulder, “And thanks... for hearing me out.”

Haruka waved him off silently, smiling a little.

As Nagisa caught up with his sister, she began interrogating him about what they had been talking about and as he heard Nagisa began to rattle off his excuses, his smile grew bigger.

As Haruka walked home, he thought about everything Nagisa had told him, right up to the part where he had immediately expressed empathy over Nagisa's dilemma about confessing his feelings. His brain seemed to get stuck on that part and refused to go any further until he actively considered what it meant. 

He refused to do it on the street. 

When he got home and took note of how long he had been talking to Nagisa, he decided to make himself a late lunch. He would think better on a full stomach. After putting his groceries away, he took out a mackerel fillet and began to warm a pan to fry it. It was so routine by now that he could put his motor functions on auto-pilot and reflect on what had passed.

Try as he might, he couldn't make head nor tails of his actions earlier. The only possible way they would make sense would be if Haruka had a crush himself. Which he knew for a fact that he didn't. He was very much of the opinion a crush was a thing that you were certain whether you had or not. 

Oddly, he found himself wondering what Makoto would think of the situation. He was good at reading Haruka, maybe he could help him work out his strange feelings. That unnerving certainty was still lodged firmly in his chest. 

Of course, first he would have to tell him about Nagisa's troubles. Makoto was such a sympathetic creature, Haruka was sure he would have a solution to give him. It would probably be similar to his own. Makoto and Nagisa would probably get on well, he thought. They both had that easy-going, talkative nature that made them good at dealing with other people, although Makoto wasn't quite as _enthusiastic_ as Nagisa. It was a shame they would never meet. Haruka was certain they would be good friends, had Makoto been human.

His hand stilled on the spatula from where it was prodding at the fish for a second.

There was a thought.

 _If Makoto was human..._ , Haruka wondered.

He probably wouldn't be too different, personality-wise, he concluded. Just more proportionate. Haruka would bet anything that he would still be taller than he was though. He would still be well-built too. He could easily see him teasing Haruka about the difference in their heights. 

He would be good friends with Nagisa. With Rei too. Maybe he would even be personable enough to talk Rin around quicker than Haruka had managed to do it. 

They would go to the same school. Perhaps they would be neighbours. There was a house, a little further down the hill from Haruka's, with a fenced garden out in the front. Nobody ever stayed in it long, it was always being rented out to someone new. Makoto could live there. So would his family. Haruka would know Makoto's rowdy siblings. The three of them could gang up and play jokes on him. 

And when he needed quiet, Makoto would walk up the steps to Haruka's house. They could study there and play video games long into the night. They would be too tired to get the futon from the spare room but neither of them would care about sharing Haruka's bed. Makoto would hold him like he had in the cave and in the mornings when Haruka would pretend to be asleep, Makoto would brush his hair back again, without being shy about it. Then he would bend his head over him and instead of pressing his cheek against him, Haruka would feel the soft brush of his lips...

Haruka's hand jerked suddenly and he flipped the mackerel fillet right out of the pan. It landed on the kitchen counter with a wet, oily thwack.

He had no idea where those thoughts had come from. 

He had just wondered what Makoto would have been like as a human and his imagination had gotten away from him. There was no reason for him to be thinking about Makoto kissing him. He didn't want Makoto to kiss him! Unless.

Unless.

He thought about how comfortable he had had felt that morning he had woken up with Makoto. He thought about how easy he had always been to talk to. He thought about how much it hurt when they had fought. He thought about his warm skin under his hands and how bright the sun made his green eyes look. 

He thought about how quickly he had answered Nagisa's question. He thought about how deeply and truly he understood not wanting to risk the most precious thing you had.

“Oh no,” He groaned.

His knees gave out and he fell to the floor, numb. 

He tried to fight it off but the revelation came rushing over him and engulfed his senses relentlessly.

He had a crush on Makoto.

Some small, valiant part of his mind tried to deny it but there was no possible way that he could trick himself into thinking that what he felt for Makoto was solely friendship. He didn't want Nagisa, or Rei, or Rin to hold him tight when he slept. He didn't want any of his other friends to brush his hair and press their lips against his cheek.

Haruka reached up with an unsteady hand to turn off the gas on the burner. 

He turned and sat back against the counter for support as his head spun and he thought about just how much trouble he was in. 

“ _Oh no._ ”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are worries, tears, joy, and at long, long last a true understanding.

Haruka Nanase was having a bad day.

In all honesty, Haruka had been having a bad week. Ever since his realisation over lunch one afternoon, he had tried to go through his everyday motions as usual but for the last few days he had been even more distracted than normal, he responded even less to his friends when they got in touch with him, and he had even missed shifts at his job, too lost in thought to keep track of time.

It was only when he burned his dinner for the third night in a row however, that he knew he had to do something about his wandering mind. 

Over the last week, he had come to terms with his feelings and accepted the fact that he had a crush on Makoto. If he thought about it, it was actually a surprise that he hadn't realised it sooner. He felt more comfortable around him than practically anyone else. He seemed to understand Haruka inside and out, knowing precisely when to give him space and when he needed a push. Makoto was a physical comfort too, and Haruka found himself searching for any excuse to make contact with him instead of passively avoiding it the way he did with everyone else. He trusted him utterly, and he knew Makoto trusted him just as much.

But that didn't mean he had to like it. This crush was making things very complicated. He knew it wasn't something that he could just ignore but it was interfering with every other aspect of his life, and he had to make a decision about what to do. 

There were only two real options that Haruka could take, in his own estimation.

The first, and most obvious, would be to tell Makoto how he felt. The thought of just getting it off of his chest was tempting but for the last couple of days he had been thinking about the kind of problems confessing would cause. To begin with, he couldn't be sure that he would be able to express himself correctly. He had enough trouble trying to get his apology across clearly to Makoto; with something this important he wanted to be absolutely sure he could say it properly. 

Another problem that plagued his mind was how Makoto would react to his admission. Haruka wondered if he would actually understand what he meant. He had no idea if Makoto's culture actually embraced the idea of romantic relationships or if they just went through the natural process of rearing young like the animal they borrowed their colouring from. Given what Makoto had told him about his family however, that particular worry was fleeting.

He could reject him of course, which would hurt. Now that Haruka had accepted his own feelings he wasn't keen on having them shut down. Not to mention how awkward it would make things between the two of them, and with Makoto in the final crucial stages of healing it wasn't as if they could avoid each other. Makoto would be so kind about it too. Haruka could already hear his voice apologising and reassuring him that they could still be friends. 

The worst possible thing however would be if Makoto felt like he had to accept Haruka's feelings because of his situation. Backed into a corner and stuck on dry land, he might feel as if he didn't have any choice but to reciprocate Haruka's feelings in order to keep himself safe from exposure. The thought of Makoto forcing himself sent a pang of heartbreak through Haruka's chest even if it only existed as a possibility in his head, but he still had to consider it. With Makoto as much of an over-thinker as he was, it was certainly feasible.

The idea of Makoto actually returning his affection if he confessed was the possibility he thought about the least. Not only because he got flustered whenever he imagined it, or because he doubted it would actually happen but also because if, by some miracle, Makoto felt the same way about him, Haruka saw it as a simpler and quicker resolution to the whole emotional debacle. 

His other option was, of course, to say nothing. To keep his feelings pressed deep down inside of himself and never voice them out loud. 

He could do that easily. Expressing himself had never been his forte, and with a feeling as big and complex as his crush, which made him blush to even think about, he had no clue how he would even begin to verbalise it. It would be as innate as breathing to never say a word about it, not to mention that it was the simplest solution to the issue. 

Besides which, confessing to Makoto, regardless of his response, would undeniably change the way the two of them functioned and if there was one thing repulsed Haruka more than anything it was change. Accommodating Makoto's presence into his life had in and of itself been a huge upheaval of all that he had known and now that they had firmly established a comfortable routine, Haruka was loathe to disrupt it for anything.

Really, keeping his mouth shut about his crush was his best option if he wanted things to stay the way they were.

The problem with this of course, was that it left Haruka feeling completely unsatisfied. He had just accepted the reality of his own feelings and wasn't keen on pretending they didn't exist. It didn't seem reasonable to him to be struck by such a huge revelation and then to do nothing about it. 

His mind turned through these same loops of thought over and over again. Each argument he could come up with seemed to have an equal amount of pros and cons, and he was split in two by his choices. His indecisiveness just lead to more inaction, and he grew more and more frustrated as the week went on. 

His introspective mood went unnoticed by everyone, except the one person who he specifically didn't want to notice it. Makoto had been giving him space over the past few evenings when he got too wrapped up in his own thoughts but every time he left him for the night, he would ask the same question.

“Are you alright Haru?” 

He would assure him that he was.

“Are you sure?”

That question was always asked in a quiet voice and after a brief pause. Haruka would give him a firm nod as he turned his back to him, afraid that he might hear a lie in his voice. 

It was odd however, Haruka noted internally as he made his way down to Makoto's cove on the morning of the seventh day since he had realised his feelings. Despite the fact that all of his current troubles were stemming from Makoto himself, his mind was more clear when he was with him than anywhere else. All his options over what could be done to fix them remained as background noise in his mind as he sat beside Makoto on the beach as opposed to how they buzzed around his skull distractedly when he was anywhere else. 

Haruka took in a deep breath of the cool morning air as he approached the pile of boulders that he had to climb in order to get to the small inlet, and let it out again with a huff of laughter as he spotted a tuft of brown hair peeking out over it. Makoto must already have pulled up the nets and was waiting for Haruka to join him for breakfast. 

Warm with that knowledge, his shoulders loosened up and his heart rate calmed slightly. In that moment Haruka felt that regardless of the decision he eventually came to, he trusted Makoto enough that they would both be able to handle the consequences and not panic.

When Haruka got to the top of the boulder pile and got a look at Makoto who was sitting upright against it, he realised that he was panicking. 

Makoto's face was pale and had a bright sheen of sweat, and his breath was coming in fast, shallow gulps. Rather than leaning against the rocks at his back he was practically pressed up to them like he was trying to hide in them. His tail was curled tightly under him as if he could make himself smaller. His wide, fearful gaze darted between whatever was frightening him so badly on the beach and Haruka who was staring at him shocked and incredibly worried.

“H-Haru... help,” He hissed in a whisper. 

Haruka turned to look over the inlet to see what had scared him, scanning for any tell-tale signs that another human had found Makoto, that a boat had drifted too far from the docks and stumbled across his cave, praying desperately that he would be able to protect his friend. After a moment of frantically searching the shore and sea however, Haruka still couldn't see anything. 

He swung a leg over the top of the boulder pile and stood up higher on it to see further. Still, there was nothing amiss. He turned to look at Makoto a question written all over his face. With a shaky finger, Makoto pointed down to one of the nets he had pulled to shore. Haruka looked down and finally saw the problem; there was a lump moving erratically under it. For a moment, he got a bizarre image of a deep-sea diver tangled up in rope but it was too small for that. It was probably just a drowning fish putting up a bit of a fight but he didn't think Makoto would be so skittish over something like that. Soundlessly, he climbed down the rock pile and approached the net with caution.

“Haru! Be careful!” Makoto called from behind him, still cringing into the stone. 

It was difficult to tell because of its shuffling and squirming but up close the lump looked to about as long as Haruka's forearm. He could also hear a strange gulping sound coming from it. Something that small probably wasn't a threat but Makoto's panicky mood had affected him and his hand shook a little as he reached for the corner of the net. He took a deep, steadying breath to brace himself before he pulled sharply and whipped it off the lump.

A little white cat, which was busy eating a fat hake, mewled in protest at the interruption. 

Haruka stared nonplussed. The cat was at that gangly stage between kitten and adult and its white fur was slightly grey with dirt. It must have been a stray. Haruka wondered if it was related to any of the ones that hung around his neighbourhood. Regardless of that, it clearly wasn't a threat and all the tension Haruka felt drained out of his body in an instant. It had probably been attracted by the smell of fresh fish and gotten stuck in the net. He shook his head, exasperated at himself for getting so caught up in Makoto's frantic behaviour. He looked over his shoulder to reassure him and saw Makoto still crouched against the rock pile and staring at the creature like it had pulled a knife on him. 

“It's only a cat,” Haruka told him, crouching down in front of it.

“O-oh... Is that what it's called?” Makoto sounded like he cared more about how much distance he could put between himself and it than what its name was. 

Haruka nodded and held his hand towards the cat in a loose fist. Having just finished eating, it stretched out its neck to sniff at him curiously. After a moment of inspection, it apparently found him worthy and rubbed its face against his knuckles with a low purr. Haruka couldn't hold back a smile. 

It slipped off his face abruptly however when Makoto suddenly seized him around the waist with one hand and pulled him back and up until he was lined up against his collarbone. His other hand rose to press against his shoulder.

“Oof! Makoto-”

“Haru! Haru, are you hurt? Are you okay? It touched you!” Makoto screeched just above his ear.

He tried to shake him off which would have been a hopeless endeavor even if he wasn't dizzy from being wrenched several feet into the air. 

“ 'm fine, put me down!” He demanded.

Makoto didn't seem to hear him, only clutching him tighter.

The little cat, for its part, didn't seem fazed by all the fuss and noise and had gone back to sniffing the net for scraps.

“Are you sure you're okay? That was so close! What does it want anyway?” Makoto asked too rapidly for him to answer.

Haruka pulled one of his arms out of Makoto's tight grip and tried to push his hand away.

“Food? Shelter? I-I don't know! It's only a cat, Makoto! It's not like its going to hurt you!” He complained, whacking the flat of his palm against Makoto's fingers.

After a brief pause, Makoto grip on him loosened a little.

“It's not?” He asked him in a small voice.

Haruka stopped trying to squirm out of his hand and craned his neck to look him in the eye. Makoto licked his bottom lip nervously and blinked rapidly looking in-between Haruka and the cat. He wasn't quite convinced, Haruka could see.

“It's not going to hurt you,” He told him again, calmer than before, “Or me.”

Makoto's hand flexed a little around his torso and he saw him bite his lip.

“I'll show you,” He murmured, laying his hand softly over a finger.

Makoto took a deep breath and set him carefully back down on the sand. Haruka pulled his shirt down from where it had gotten tugged upward and tried to ignore the slight ache in his ribs. He heard Makoto mutter an apology as he crouched down again just in front of him and called for the cat with his hand outstretched. 

The cat's ears perked up as soon as he started making a soft _fssh-fssh_ noise and bounded up to him, smelling his hand again. Just as he wondered how used it was to people, it gave him an answer as it mewled loudly and began to rub itself against every part of his body that it could reach. 

He could see Makoto tensing up from the corner of his eye as it got nearer and he turned to give him a calm look.

“It's harmless,” He assured him and backed up his claim by stroking his hand down the cat's back, making it mewl again.

He did that for a few minutes, just petting it ( _her,_ he amended his thoughts after checking under her tail) and letting her rub her scent on him. Eventually he stood and walked over to the net, pulling a few minnows out of it to toss to the little cat, who pounced on them delightedly. 

When he looked back at Makoto, he was relieved to see that he had finally calmed down a bit. He wasn't curled in on himself and he stopped shaking. He leaned forward to watch the cat eat. 

“I've never seen a land animal before,” He confessed quietly, “Just fish and seabirds... and air-breathers like me... You said it was called a cat?”

Haruka nodded, a little ashamed for getting so exasperated with him. If he had suddenly seen some deep water creature he had never heard of before, he supposed that he might be frightened too.

“Humans keep them as pets sometimes but this one is a stray.”

“Pets?”

“There are some animals that humans keep in their homes,” He explained, “For company mostly.”

Makoto furrowed his brow at the idea, thinking heavily on it. 

“In the pod...” He spoke after a length, “We're taught that the only reason an animal would ever approach you is if it wanted to eat you... And that that was also the only reason you should ever go near an animal for-”

He snapped his mouth shut as the cat suddenly rubbed up against him. One of the minnows had landed near his tail and after she had eaten it, the cat had given him a little sniff before doing so. She arched her back against him and made a quiet rumbling sound. Makoto stayed completely still until she wandered off again in Haruka's direction hoping for more fish.

“You really thought she would eat you?” He asked him, kneeling down to scratch behind her ears. 

“Yes... Well, I mean, I wasn't sure and... better safe than sorry, right?”

Makoto was starting to hunch over himself again.

“You're over twenty times her size,” Haruka couldn't help but point out, “How could she?”

Makoto lowered his head and avoided looking at him.

“I thought maybe... since its so small... it might bite me and be... um, venomous...?” 

As Makoto spoke, he seemed to be realising the foolishness of what he was saying and Haruka saw his cheeks and ears gain a bright red colour as he grew more embarrassed with each word. Haruka fought very hard against the laugh rising in his throat.

“That... makes sense,” He tried to say as he swallowed it down, “If you didn't know what it was... and that- that was all you had been told about strange ani- animals- _pfft!_ ”

The absurdity of the whole scenario hit him and he let out a snort of laughter involuntarily. Makoto's head shot up suddenly and stared at him.

“Haru!” He cried, scandalised, “Don't laugh at me!”

Haruka took one look at his pink, pouting face and he was done for. He began to laugh out loud, genuine belly-aching laughter that he hadn't experienced in a very long time. It spilled out of him and he was powerless to stop it. From above him, he heard Makoto's voice whining at him to stop. He felt Makoto's hand fall onto his back and shake him slightly to try and get him to do so. When it didn't work, Makoto shoved him over until he was lying sideways on the sand, still giggling helplessly. 

The cat, seemingly offended by the sudden noise, wandered back to the nets leaving them to it. 

This was exactly what he had been thinking about for the last week, this bubbling feeling that filled him to the brim with warmth. It overwhelmed him in the best possible way in that moment, leaving him as breathless as his laughter did and unlike the times where he was alone, he did not burn his food or neglect his duties. With Makoto near him, all his problems seemed so insignificant, fading away underneath the knowledge that he was truly happy to be exactly where he was. 

He hadn't even realised happiness had been absent from his day-to-day life until it had returned to him. 

When he finally stopped laughing, Makoto heaved his body away from the rock pile and lay down on his stomach beside Haruka. He tried to glare at him but it was tempered with a smile that he couldn't hide. Even as he caught his breath, Haruka gave him a dazzling one in return. 

“You're a bully,” Makoto announced after a minute had passed.

Haruka rolled over closer to Makoto then propped himself up on his elbows. He poked his arm.

“And you're ridiculous,” He retorted.

Makoto chuckled softly at that, the final few traces of his blush fading away.

“Good morning, by the way,” He said, with a smirk, “I didn't get to say that earlier.”

“No, you were too busy panicking about housepets.”

Makoto nudged into him with his elbow, knocking him over again. Haruka brushed the sand off his arms with a huff while Makoto stuck out his tongue unapologetically. Haruka sat up straight and stretched his arms upright before smirking right back at him.

“In any case,” He said, “Good morning.”

Makoto's smirk morphed into a cheerful smile. It faded a little however as his gaze drifted over Haruka's shoulder. He turned his head to see the cat playing with one of the nets, chewing and kneading on the thick rope.

“How much do cats eat?” Makoto asked him, despairingly.

“She had a whole fish so she's probably full, why?” Haruka turned back to him.

“I haven't eaten yet...” He whined.

Haruka let out a snort.

“I'm sure she saved you a few scraps.”

Makoto grumbled a complaint under his breath. His lament reminded Haruka however that he hadn't eaten yet either. Sharing breakfast was what he had come to the beach to do after all, before he had been distracted. He opened up the messenger bag slung across his shoulders and pulled out the box he had put his breakfast in last night. The second he cracked it open, the cat rushed over to him enticed by the strong smell of cooked fish. 

“No,” He told her firmly, pushing her away from the open box, “You've already had your fill, this is mine.”

Makoto watched him curiously and even managed to smile as the cat pawed at Haruka for his attention and moved over to his other side to see if she could get at his food that way.

“Does she understand you?” He wondered out loud.

“No,” Haruka replied, “Even if she did, she wouldn't listen anyway. Cats are very willful.”

The cat reinforced what he said by trying to jump into his lap.

“Ahh, that must be why it likes you so much then,” Makoto murmured.

Haruka turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

“Well you've told me often enough, haven't you?” He explained with a grin, “You never do anything you don't want to. You're pretty willful yourself.”

Haruka stared at him blankly for a moment before plucking a sliver of mackerel from his meal and flicking it onto Makoto's arm. The cat immediately leapt at it and lapped eagerly at his skin.

“Haru!” He hissed at him staying stock still, “That's just proving my point!”

The cat finished giving him a tongue bath and bumped her head against his arm purring loudly. He watched her carefully but didn't tense up like he had earlier. Haruka was surprised that his size hadn't scared her but the cat seemed as starved for attention as she was for food.

“Pet her,” He said apropos of nothing.

Makoto looked up at him with surprise. Haruka nodded encouragingly.

“...How?” Makoto asked after a moment of contemplation. 

Haruka felt a spark of pride at his willingness to try and began to explain.

“Just move your hand-,” He paused, taking in the size of Makoto's hand as he started to raise it, “Maybe just a finger. Put it on her head and stroke down her back. Gently.” 

At a glacial pace, Makoto lowered his index finger onto the cat's head. It was slightly bigger than it and the cat froze as he touched her carefully. He dragged his finger along her spine slowly and as soon as she registered the movement, she arched into it purring even louder than before. A small smile bloomed across his face and he repeated the action easily.

Haruka couldn't hold back his own smile as he watched him. Makoto had faced a lot of fears over the months that he had been injured; from having to deal with the wound itself, to the threats of starvation and exposure, to confronting everything he had known about humans. He had grown so much in such a short time. Instead of trying to hide his fears, he could now face them with caution and care. Haruka felt privileged to have seen it happen. He spent the next few minutes basking in the warm glow of pride and affection. 

Eventually Makoto retracted his hand and the cat wandered down the side of his tail, rubbing up against it all the way. 

“What's that noise she's making?” He asked, following her with his eyes. 

“It's called purring,” Haruka answered him, “Means she happy.”

“Hmm...”

Makoto's gaze flicked from the cat to Haruka and stayed on him for a moment before he spoke again, colour rising in his cheeks.

“... Do humans like to be petted, Haru?” He murmured softly. 

A flash of phantom sensation passed over Haruka, fingertips brushing against the crown of his head, and he felt heat rising up in him. He turned his face away from Makoto.

“No,” He said firmly.

A brief silence then.

“Oh.”

Haruka convinced himself that he was imagining the tone of disappointment he thought he heard. 

“You should eat,” He muttered, looking down at his own breakfast and picking at it.

Without a word, Makoto dragged his body around to the nets and began to pick out fish. The next few minutes were spent in silence as they ate but the quiet helped to dispel the little spark of tension that had sprung up between them after Makoto's question. It helped that the cat distracted them by bounding back over to the nets as soon as Makoto touched them, and got in his way begging for more food. 

“No!” He scolded her after he had eaten his fill, “Look, I'm throwing them back out now! So no more.”

He sat upright and gathered the nets in his arms.

“Careful,” Haruka warned him as he put his own finished breakfast away. 

“I know, I know,” Makoto said dismissively.

Ever since he had thrown his back out a couple of weeks ago, Haruka constantly warned him not to strain himself too much, and took on the duty of reeling in and casting out the nets whenever he could. Despite Makoto's grumblings about it however, he had taken Haruka's words to heart and kept any and all physical activities to an easy minimum. 

He tossed the nets to sea without excessive force and let them drift out to their prime position. He turned back to Haruka with as smug a look as he could manage while still seeming sweet, as though he had just won an argument Haruka didn't know they were having. He lay back on his stomach again by his side and let out a relaxed sigh.

The little cat wandered around where the two of them sat for a few minutes more but finding no more food and apparently having had her fill of pets, she wandered away from them, clambering up the rock pile and disappearing over the top. Haruka watched her curiously.

“Is that the way she came?” He asked Makoto.

“I have no idea,” Makoto's sigh was more weary this time, “I had just pulled the nets up and I saw her sitting right next to me. I panicked and threw the net over her... Then you showed up. Why do you ask?”

Haruka shrugged.

“It's a strange place for a stray to come looking for food, kind of out of the way... Besides cats don't like water.”

Makoto hummed contemplatively.

“I guess will find out why if she comes back,” Haruka offered.

“Ehh?” Makoto cried, “She's coming back?”

“Oh, with a free meal like she just got? Definitely,” Haruka teased him.

“Oh no, once was enough...”

“She might even bring friends next time.”

“Haru, knock it off!”

He laughed again, not quite as boisterously as before but still audibly. This time, Makoto joined in.

After they had quietened down, they spent the several serene minutes watching the light of the morning sun catch off of the edges of the incoming waves and make them gleam. 

“Okay,” Haruka eventually murmured to himself, standing up and dusting his trousers off. 

In response, Makoto put his head down on his folded arms and lay as flat as he could. Haruka walked around to his fin and began to unwind the day-old bandages wrapped around it. They were so used to the procedure by now that they went through the motions without thinking about them. 

“How is it today?” He asked Makoto automatically, expecting the same response of _'still sore'_ that he usually got.

“Actually, it feels pretty good!” Makoto said cheerfully, surprising him.

Haruka's hands stilled on the fin.

“Really?”

“Yeah! When I woke up this morning, I did my stretches to work out the normal aches and pains and since then, I've barely felt anything!”

He sounded so proud that Haruka took off the rest of the bandages as quickly as possible, eager to see for himself. Ever since it had re-opened, the wound had appeared to scab over quickly enough but Haruka had been especially careful when handling it just to be sure. In the couple of weeks that had passed however, the lymph-filled scab had given way to more dense-looking scar tissue and that was what Haruka saw as he finally removed the gauze. From a distance the fin looked completely normal apart from the few inches of flesh missing from its base, up close however, Haruka could see the slightly raised and discoloured tissue marring the space where the hook had cut through it. 

He still felt a small welling of guilt in his gut whenever he saw it. He never would have met Makoto if he hadn't been injured but that didn't mean he was grateful for it. The sound of someone who was now so dear to him screaming in agony was a noise he would never be able to forget.

Haruka shook of his melancholy and tried to focus. With a feather-light touch, he ran his index finger across the injury. 

“How's that?” He asked softly.

Makoto shook his head, grinning.

“Can't feel it,” He answered. 

“Good. Hold still.” 

Carefully, Haruka braced his arms against Makoto's side and pulled himself up onto his back. He swung his leg over his waist and sat facing the dorsal fin. He gently placed his palms on either side of it and pressed inward, testing it for pain as a whole. 

“And that?” 

“It's fine!” Makoto responded brightly. 

Haruka nodded to himself and turned around smoothly while sitting, laying his hands flat on Makoto's back. 

“How are your muscles?” He asked, dragging them back and forth.

“They're great!” Makoto sounded prouder with each answer he gave, “I think all our little exercise sessions have helped me bulk up haha!”

Even though he was joking, Haruka couldn't help but run his eye over his bulging deltoids and agree. 

“So there's no pain at all?” He was genuinely surprised; the reality of Makoto's injury had become as much of a fixture in his life as Makoto himself.

“Nope, none at all!” Makoto looked at him over his shoulder with an irresistible smile. 

“...That's incredible!” Haruka felt the corners of his mouth turn up automatically. 

Haruka was no doctor but without any pain and with the wound completely healed over, he could safely say that Makoto was healed. The thought was dazzling. It felt like it had been another lifetime when he had first found Makoto in this inlet, when he had desperately racked his brain to think of a way to keep him alive. When he first tended to his fin, he wasn't sure if it would ever get better, yet here they were. 

He slipped off of Makoto's back and dashed around to his head.

“And you're good? You feel good? You're okay?” He asked quickly, wanting to double-check, wanting to be absolutely certain.

Makoto laughed at his frantic tone.

“Yes, Haru, I feel very good,” He assured him.

“...Wow.”

“Yeah...”

All they could do was stare at each other smiling brightly, the impact of all their effort and hard work culminating in that moment.

“So um, do you think...” Makoto's grin faded slightly as he spoke, “Do you think I can swim again soon?”

Haruka's smile got bigger at the mere suggestion.

“Yes!”

“Really?” Makoto shot up from his lax position, beaming.

“Yes, really,” Haruka promised, “Maybe another day of rest, just to be sure... but I think you're ready.”

Makoto covered his mouth with his hands, laughing giddily. His gaze flickered from Haruka to the shining expanse of ocean over his shoulder. His eyes caught the light bouncing off of the water and made them glow. 

“I can't believe it! I'm really... I can't wait to go and get back out there!” He cried joyfully.

Haruka's own happiness was suddenly slapped out of him by his statement, like a cold wave crashing over his head. 

When Makoto got back to the sea again, when he wasn't confined to this tiny part of Iwatobi anymore, Haruka had no idea where he would go. Back to his family, probably. He couldn't even begin to imagine that he would stay. This place was the site of one of the most terrible things to ever happen to him, a place of pain and fear. Judging from the euphoria on his face, once he got back into the water Haruka didn't think he would ever willingly leave it again. 

And where that would leave the two of them, Haruka almost couldn't bear to think of. There was no doubt that Makoto would be grateful. He could hear him thanking him over and over again, before turning tail and disappearing into the sea. Sure, they may have been friends but once he was back with his pod, Haruka knew Makoto would dare risking their exposure again. He would leave their relationship behind with sadness but not regret. 

_At least that solves your problem,_ some bitter voice in the back of his mind spoke up. There was no point in worrying about what to do with his feelings when the object of them would soon abandon him.

Haruka had to turn away from Makoto for a moment, staring out at the water and trying to swallow his heartbreak. It burned him from the inside out but he managed somehow. Makoto was happy, that was all that mattered. This wasn't about him. It never had been.

Eventually he turned back to Makoto who had laid his head down on his arms again, still smiling serenely. 

“Haru?” He called.

“Hmm?”

“Can I try tomorrow? Swimming, I mean?” He asked, “It will have to be at night because of your fisher-boats but-”

“I can't,” Haruka interrupted him, “Friends are coming over to my house tomorrow night.”

He felt guilt surge through him even though he wasn't lying. Nagisa had gotten in touch two days ago to ask him when he was available to talk through Rei's new swimming lesson plan and over the course of the conversation, ended up invited himself, Rei and Rin over for dinner tomorrow night. He lowered his gaze and apologised quietly.

Makoto's smile never faltered. 

“Don't be sorry, Haru, it's fine,” There wasn't a trace of disappointment in his tone, “The next night then. Is that okay?” 

Still not looking at him, Haruka nodded.

After a drawn-out moment of silence, Makoto called his name again and he still couldn't drag his head up. 

“I-I have another question,” He said softly, “When... when I do swim...” He swallowed, “Will you swim with me, Haru?” 

That got his attention. Haruka's head shot right up and he stared right at him. Makoto's cheeks were pink and his smile had gotten smaller.

“O-Only if you want to!” He stammered, “It's just... You did p-promise... That you would show me...”

Haruka racked his brain for the memory. 

They had been on this beach, he thought, not in the cave. His exams had finished but it was before the big storm, he was sure. Yes, it was coming back to him. They had been talking about how Rei's lessons and how odd Makoto found it that humans had to be taught how to swim, and then he had asked...

“Oh! I did promise,” Haruka nodded in agreement. 

Makoto grinned sheepishly.

“So... will you?”

Haruka considered it. 

He hadn't really swam since that night on the beach, and with the summer storms having passed, it was the perfect weather for it. He looked Makoto over assessingly. It would be a nice send-off too, a final sweet experience with him, a chance to bid goodbye to his feelings properly. Gathering up his courage, he gave Makoto a small smile.

“Of course I'll swim with you,” He pledged. 

Makoto's face lit up even brighter than before and he cheered out loud.

“Thank you, Haru! Thank you so so much! Now I really can't wait!! Haha!” 

He started giggling, actually giggling, like an excited child and hid his face in his folded arms to try and stifle it. It was infectious and Haruka found himself chuckling too, reaching out to ruffle Makoto's hair. His laughter faded long before Makoto's but he stayed where he was with his hand on his head, and smiled. 

There was a warmth in his chest when he saw him so happy, even as something cold threatened to engulf his heart with the knowledge that soon it would all be over. 

~~

“Ahh, Haru-chan! That was so yummy!”

Nagisa leaned back until he was lying on the floor, his hands patting his full stomach.

“Nagisa-kun, sit up! Don't be so rude to your host!” Rei scolded him.

“And how the hell did you finished so quick?” Rin chimed in, “Are you a freaking vacuum or what?”

Haruka watched the exchange with little interest.

The four of them were sitting in Haruka's living room at the low table with their legs crossed underneath it. In the middle of the table sat a hot plate with a bubbling bowl of hot-pot on top of it.

There had been a fierce debate via group text throughout the day over what they would have for dinner. Haruka had been adamant on cooking his usual weekday dish, soy mackerel with white rice, but both Rin and Nagisa had been vehemently opposed. Nagisa had sent him several recipes that involved deep-frying while Rin railed against his lack of both imagination and meat. At only one point in the conversation had Rei piped up, humbly requesting whatever was made to have a decent amount of vegetables. Haruka had told them all to shut up and remember who was going to be doing all the cooking. The hot-pot had been his compromise, allowing everyone to pick and choose what they pleased. When it got to late afternoon, he told them all to pick up whatever ingredients they wanted then turned his phone off.

At precisely seven o'clock, his doorbell rang repeatedly until he deigned to open the door and the three of them had come barging in. Haruka had had the foresight to get the broth boiling so they started cooking as soon as they sat down. Talk around the table had been casual as they ate, Nagisa complained about his sisters, Rin complained about his teammates and Rei complained about their complaining, although the thick A4 binder that he had brought in with him promised a more focused discussion later. 

As glad as he was to see them, Haruka was finding it difficult to concentrate on what was being said. 

His conversation with Makoto yesterday occupied all of his thoughts. Of course he was nothing but overjoyed that his wounds had finally healed but it was cruel coincidence that it happened around the same time that he had acknowledged his feelings for him. He wondered if it would have made any difference if he had never realised or if it would still hurt as much. At least this way, he knew why it did. 

Haruka didn't even dare to dream of asking him to stay. Makoto had been stuck with him long enough. 

He kept his head down at the table, staring into the remains of his meal as the others continued to babble around him. 

“Excuse you, Rin-chan,” Nagisa had sat back up again, sounding offended, “When you're the youngest of five people, you either eat fast or you don't eat! So hush! And besides, Rei-chan, Haru-chan doesn't care what I do. Right, Haru-chan?”

Haruka slowly lifted his chopsticks to his lips and clamped down on them.

“Haru-chan!”

He jolted upright, surprised.

“Ah! ...What?”

Rin, Rei and Nagisa all stared at him for a moment then exchanged pointed looks with each other.

“Haruka-senpai...” Rei eventually spoke, “Are you alright? You seem... distracted.”

He took his chopsticks out of his mouth to ask what he meant and realised that he hadn't actually picked anything up with them. He placed them down on the table with a clack, trying not to blush.

“I'm fine, fine. Just thinking...” He murmured.

“Thinking about what?” Rin asked with a suspicious glare. 

“It must be tough, that's all.”

“What's tough?”

“For Nagisa,” Haruka lied, nodding toward him, “Having so many people at home, all at the same table. I can't imagine what it's like.”

Nagisa's chest puffed out as he pouted and nodded vigorously.

“It _is_ tough!” He agreed, “Thank _you_ Haru-chan, for understanding! That's why coming to your house is so nice, so I can just sit back and relax...”

He slumped over the table for emphasis, laying his head down.

“We're not here to relax, Nagisa-kun!” Rei cried, bringing his palm down onto the table right beside his nose, “We have very important things to discuss.”

“Nnnghh,” Nagisa turned his head the other way and shutting his eyes, “After I digest, Rei-chan.”

“Don't go to sleep!” Rei cried, exasperated.

Knowing how long the two of them could keep up this particular song-and-dance, Haruka began to gather up the dishes to take to the kitchen. 

“I'll make some tea,” He announced over their bickering before picking up the bowls and escaping. 

He had just started boiling some water and began to scrub the dishes when he heard someone else walk into the kitchen behind him. Thinking that Rei might have become flustered enough to need a cold glass of water, he turned to acknowledge him and was instead surprised to see Rin standing in the doorway, cradling the empty pot and hot plate in his hands.

“Thought I'd save you the trouble,” He said, walking up to his side and dumping what he carried onto the counter, “Besides I had to get out of there, Nagisa started Rei off on some spiel about responsibility and I don't need that right now.”

Haruka sympathised.

“Man, what is with him though?” Rin grumbled, turning where he stood to lean back against the counter, “Rei has enough crap to deal with without being teased all the time... I mean, I know Nagisa is a little shit to everyone but he seems to pick on Rei more then anyone else.”

Elbow deep in soapy water, Haruka said nothing. He doubted that Nagisa had told anyone esle about his crush so pointing out to Rin that Nagisa was messing with Rei like a child would with someone they liked felt as if it would be breach of trust. A small cynical part of him also wondered how much of Rin's concern for Rei was genuine and how much of it was misplaced guilt for almost drowning him. 

In lieu of an answer he just shrugged and began to rinse the pot. Rin didn't seemed fazed by his silence and simply slouched against the counter-top. After a few minutes of listening to the muffled antics going on in the next room, he spoke again.

“So what's wrong with you anyway?” He asked, “You were completely zoned out during dinner. And don't tell me you spent the whole time feeling sorry for Nagisa because that's bull.”

Haruka put the pot and bowls upside-down on the draining board to dry and took his time rubbing his hands with the teatowel. 

If he lied to Rin now, he would know and the state the two of them were in was still precarious enough that the slightest bit of pressure could send Rin's temper flying sky high. He didn't fancy getting into a shouting match tonight, but he just didn't know what to say. It wasn't as if he could tell Rin what was really bothering him. 

They still weren't really friends, they hadn't even spoken since that afternoon Haruka ran into him and his sister while visiting Rei, but there was an understanding between them now. Haruka understood that he needed to take the initiative and reach out to Rin in order to talk about everything he had been through when he was away, and Rin understood that he couldn't strong-arm Haruka into doing so, that it was only at his own pace that he would be able to come to terms with things. There was a very serious conversation that had to happen between them at some point in the future and while Haruka wasn't necessarily looking forward to it, he felt a little better equipped to handle it than before. 

Besides which, he could see how hard Rin was trying. He did his best to not be sullen and bite his tongue whenever his temper rose. It made Haruka want to be honest with him, even though he knew he couldn't tell him the whole truth.

He sighed, putting down the teatowel and facing him.

“A friend of mine is leaving town soon,” He confided.

Rin looked surprised that he had replied at all but after a moment he realised that that was all the answer he was getting and frowned. 

“So what?” He retorted.

“So... We're not going to stay in touch... and I'm going to miss them?” Haruka said, thinking that that had naturally been implied. 

“That's what your phone is for, idiot!” Rin snorted, “This is a golden opportunity for you to learn how to actually use to talk to people!”

“He doesn't have a phone.”

“Who in this day and age doesn't-?! God, and I thought _you_ were bad at communicating!”

Haruka glared.

“I'm making tea,” He said shortly and began to pull cups out of an overhead press. 

“Oh stop sulking, can't you take a joke?” Rin sneered, “Now let me think...”

Haruka kept his ears open as he started brewing tea.

“If you're that desperate to keep in touch...” Rin said after a pensive minute, “You could always get his address and write him letters. Like I did with Sousuke. You remember my friend Sousuke?”

Haruka remembered a dark-haired, narrow-eyed boy with a sour attitude and a grudge against him. Keeping his mouth shut, he nodded. 

“Yeah, when I first went to Australia I wrote to him all the time... Sort of got out of the habit of doing it... I really ought to....” Rin drifted off, his brow furrowing in worry and if Haruka read his expression right, a flicker of guilt. 

After another quiet moment, Rin shook his head as if to banish his thoughts.

“So yeah, just write to him. Make sure he writes back.”

It was sound enough advice considering what little information he had given him and Haruka could have left the conversation at that if he wanted to, but something aching and insecure tore words from his throat.

“...What if he doesn't want to stay in touch?” He murmured into the teacups.

“Then he is just a jerk who isn't worth your time,” came Rin's immediate response.

Haruka kept looking down and put the cups and tea pot onto a tray, fiddling with them. Rin sighed loudly. 

“Okay look, Haru... How do you even know this guy? From school? Do Nagisa and Rei know him?” 

“No, no, not from school. He... lives by the coast.”

“And you think this guy is decent, right? He's a good friend?” Rin asked. 

Haruka let his eyes shut for a moment. The glow of emotion that warmed him from the inside whenever he thought of Makoto overcame him for a moment. He blinked it away rapidly and tried to focus.

“Yes,” He said softly, “A very good friend.”

“This'll sound stupid but...,” Rin sighed again, rubbing the back of his neck, “Have you tried talking to him about it? I know it's not your strong suit but... if he is leaving anyway, what have you got to lose?” 

Haruka looked up at him then, unable to answer that. Rin's face was carefully blank, the look in his eyes unreadable. He turned away again and picked up the tray, before turning on his heel and walking towards the kitchen door.

“Hey,” Rin called after him, a flicker of anger leaking into his voice.

“I'll think about it,” Haruka muttered.

He paused just before he pushed open the door.

“...Thanks.”

He heard Rin snorted bemusedly before he followed him back to the living room.

The first thing Haruka saw when he walked into the room was a plethora of papers scattered across the table and floor in a haphazard manner. It looked like a notebook had exploded. Sitting in the middle of the debris, Rei looked up at the two of them with a sunny smile. 

“Haruka-senpai, Rin-san, just in time! I just finished laying out my planning schedule for any and all future swimming lessons!” He explained gesturing to his nearly binder then the papers with a grand sweep of his hand. 

To his left, Nagisa was clearly struggling to sit upright under the weight of the a stack of notes.

“Rin-chan! Haru-chan!” He cried, “Run and save yourselves! He's got pie charts!!”

“Hush, Nagisa-kun, those are just proposal models.”

Haruka and Rin shared a startled look before carefully sitting down, Haruka moving a calendar to one side in order to put the tea tray down. 

Despite how dull it all looked, Haruka suddenly felt a swell of gratitude for the three of them. They had all given him help over the last couple of months with Makoto even if they didn't know it. Even fighting with Rin had given him the motivation to not let things fester with Makoto when they had disagreed. No matter what happened tomorrow, he would never forget the support they had shown him.

From the corner of his eye, Haruka saw that the calendar that he had pushed aside had days and dates marked on it until the end of Summer the year _after_ the one they were currently in. 

_At least I won't be bored,_ He thought with a smile. 

~~

The next night was flawless, weather-wise. 

The half-moon shone brightly on the calm water below, painting it silver. There was no wind to ruffle the waves and the packed sand still retained the heat of the day. The humidity was almost balmy, but right beside the sea it was cool enough to not be overwhelming. All the fishing boats were docked for the evening, their business for the day concluded, and even the coastguard seemed lax on a night so beautiful and tranquil.

Haruka resented it immensely. 

For completely practical reasons, of course. A little bit of cloud cover would have be useful in order to keep Makoto's bulk hidden from any prying eyes that may have been around, and if the water was as pleasantly warm as the shore, Haruka was worried he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to swim all night and might abandon the reason he would need to hold himself together for what was to come.

Really, such a pretty, picturesque evening was just inconvenient. 

Haruka stood before the pile of boulders that bordered the small inlet where he would meet Makoto, trying to work up the courage to climb them. 

The evening before he had been sufficiently distracted by his friends' antics and placated by Rin's advice enough that he hadn't been overly-worried about tonight. From the moment he had woken up today however, he had been full of jitters and couldn't seem to sit still. He couldn't handle breakfast and barely managed to choke down lunch. He nearly broke several dishes from last night's dinner as he dried them, and, most disturbingly of all, he wasn't even able to enjoy his afternoon bath although he sat in it until the water turned icy. 

He still had no idea what he was going to do. 

The advice Rin had given him had its merits. Speaking to Makoto honestly about how he was feeling would certainly get his worries off of his own chest, but he feared pushing his selfish desires onto Makoto. He didn't want him to feel obligated to him. 

On the other hand, while keeping quiet would ensure that his last night with Makoto was peaceful, he knew deep down that never expressing his feelings would eat away at him, regret would haunt him for the rest of his life.

He flip-flopped between his two options every other minute. 

If he could only cross over that final barrier standing between Makoto and himself, he would know for sure but the daunting prospect of uncertainty and change loomed over him, freezing him where he stood.

It took several more minutes of deliberation combined with the knowledge that Makoto was surely getting tired of waiting for him to finally start to move and clamber up the rock pile. 

At its peak, Haruka looked down on the inlet and paused again. 

Makoto was lying on his side, staring out at the sea, his expression utterly serene. Both of the fishing nets had been pulled to shore and empty completely before being shoved out of the way to the bottom of the cliff face. Makoto had made a neat pile of his own fish and put four fat mackerel onto sharp wooden sticks. He had also dug a fire pit at least as long as Haruka's whole body and filled it with dry driftwood, waiting to be set alight.

Haruka wasn't sure whether had he gasped or if Makoto had just sensed his presence, but either way he looked up from where he lay, surprised, before spotting him and breaking into a huge smile.

“Haru!” He called happily, “I've been waiting! I set up a fire for you, I thought we could have dinner together? Ah, um I know it's not lit right now but I wasn't sure how you do it so...”

He trailed off as Haruka climbed down the rock pile wordlessly and walked over to the fire pit without looking at him. He crouched beside it and took out his lighter, flicking it on and holding it to the wood. It was only when it caught and began to burn that Haruka looked up at him, bashfully.

“Thank you,” He murmured reverently.

Makoto's smile only got bigger.

The effect Makoto had on him truly was incredible. In the instant he saw him, the loud, raging fear in his heart quietened down and was replaced by soothing affection. Even the simple gesture of preparing for dinner had filled him with delight. He shuffled around the fire to Makoto's side and sat by him, basking in the comfort he gave him. Haruka had no idea how he would live without this kind of safety. 

Dinner was exceedingly normal, feeling almost like any other night. As the fish cooked, Haruka told Makoto how yesterday's dinner with his friends had gone and made him spit his food out with laughter more than once. When he ate, Makoto talked about anything and everything that came to his mind. The little white cat had come back again, apparently, and Makoto sounded so proud of himself as he told Haruka how he fed and petted and didn't flinch even once. Haruka put down his fish to applaud him. Makoto whined about his teasing. 

Despite the casual mood, there was something tense lingering among them. It manifested in Makoto tapping his fingers against the sand after he finished eating, and in Haruka hunching over himself tightly in the lulls in their conversation. Eventually, after Haruka had picked every last scrap of meat off of the fishes' bones, it swelled between them and cracked Makoto first.

“Haru!” He cried suddenly, sitting fully upright and gazing down at him.

“What?” Haruka asked, a little startled at the sudden noise.

“Are you okay? Did you have enough? A-Are you good?” The questions came out of his mouth at a mile a minute, “If you're done... c-can we...?”

Haruka held up his hands for peace and he fell silent. 

“I'm fine, relax,” He assured him, first and foremost, even as his stomach began to roll nervously, “Wait a moment, I just want to make absolutely sure of some things. Lay back down.”

Makoto did so immediately. Haruka stood and by the light of the fire leaned up to examine his fin. The wound looked exactly as it had two days ago but by the flickering light of the flames the scar tissue looked visceral and bloody. A small but brutally selfish part of him wondered if it would re-open again if Makoto tried to swim. He shook his head viciously, furious at himself for having the tiny impulsive thought at all. Makoto was and would be fine, he was certain of that, wishing he wasn't so was despicable. 

Completely oblivious to what was running around in his head, Makoto chuckled slightly as he looked over his shoulder at him. 

“Well?” He asked, “Are you _absolutely_ sure?”

Haruka ran his hand down the scar and let it linger on the side on his tail for a fleeting second before looking him in the eye and nodding. 

“Everything looks good. Just help me put the fire out, then we can go.”

Makoto reached out and scooped up an enormous handful of seawater before turning to dump it on the fire. It hissed and fizzled out immediately, but Haruka bought a few more minutes kicking sand onto the dim embers.

With nothing else to be done, he had to except the inevitable. He slipped off his shoes and rolled up the cuffs on his trousers before stepping into the sea, nodding again for Makoto to follow him. They moved sideways past the jagged barrier of rocks as though they were heading to the cave but continued on past its gaping mouth. Beyond where the cave had been weathered out of the rock over countless years there was nothing but the sea hugging the cliff-face. They kept moving onward for about fifteen minutes, still close enough to the cliffs that Haruka was wading through knee-high water while Makoto had to drag his body forward. 

Eventually they came to a stop at the base of a formation that jutted down and out of the cliff face, a ten foot tall hill of gravel, tightly-packed sand and coarse grass. It was longer than it was tall and curved slightly as it stretched sixty feet out into open sea. Makoto looked up at the sandbar with awe, open-mouthed. 

“It leads right out to where the water gets deeper,” Haruka pointed outwards, his finger following the line of it, “I thought it might make it easier for you to be able to dive right in.”

“How did you even know this was here?” Makoto asked, amazed.

“From my grandmother. When she was a child, people used to dock their boats around here,” Haruka answered, directing his attention to the rotten poles of wood jutting out of the water just past them, “Kids used to jump off of this all the time, she said. She held the local record for diving, apparently.”

“Is that where you get it from?” Makoto smirked at him.

He looked away, his face getting hot. 

Makoto laughed lightly before reaching up and heaving his heavy body out of the water with a grunt, hauling himself up on top of the sand bar.

“Coming?” He called down to Haruka after he had straightened himself out, facing the sea.

The climb was steeper than the pile of boulders that blocked off Makoto's tiny beach but far softer, allowing him to dig his finger into the silt for leverage. When he got to the top however, he saw that it was far too narrow for them to be side by side. He stood behind Makoto and patted his tail to let him know that he was there. Makoto glanced over his shoulder with a smile but said nothing. Haruka indicated towards the end of the sandbar with a tilt of his head, and his smile turned nervous. Haruka reached down and stroked his hand across his fluke. 

“You'll be fine,” He promised.

Makoto swallowed and nodded, turned his head back around. 

“I'm so glad you're here with me,” He told him, before beginning to drag his body towards the water. 

Haruka was struck dumb by his sincerity. He was frozen for a moment before he began to follow him. 

It was slow going as Makoto had to drag his body with just his arms over relatively dry ground but he eventually got to the end of the sandbar. It stopped suddenly, a sheer drop hanging over the water. Even from behind Makoto, Haruka could smell the sharp tang of saltwater. Makoto shoulders rose up and down as he let out a huge sigh. He leaned over the end of the bar, lying on his stomach and staring down at the sea. He rolled his shoulders back and cracked his neck before looking back to Haruka one last time. The look in his eyes was nervous but determined. Haruka gave him the biggest smile he could muster and after returning it, he braced his hands against the edge of the sandbar. Taking another deep breath, he pushed with all his might and dived in.

Haruka only had a second to admire the way his back arched before he disappeared under the waves. 

He looked over the edge of the sandbar and held his breath, counting in his head; ten seconds, twenty seconds, forty seconds, a minute and a half, three minutes; but still Makoto hadn't surfaced. Haruka bit his lip and had just considered jumping in after him to see what had happened when in the distance he heard an almighty splash. 

He looked up just in time to see Makoto leaping out of the water, flipped onto his back, his arms outstretched and whooping euphorically. He landed with a crash and vanished below again.

Haruka let out his breath gratefully. Despite all his checking and double-checking , he still hadn't been 100% certain that Makoto would be okay in the water but it seemed all his hard work had finally paid off. 

He spent the next twenty minutes watching in awe as Makoto looped, dashed and dived around the water. Sometimes he lept up out of it again, and each time Haruka could hear him cheering. Most of time however was spent trying to spot his silhouette underneath the surface. He was so fast, Haruka actually had trouble doing so. He was so used to thinking of Makoto as a slow, sedentary creature but in his element, he zipped around so quickly, it sent shivers up his spine. 

Haruka had just lost sight of him again when he surprised him by popping his head and shoulders out of the water at the end of the sandbar just under his dangling feet.

“Haru!” He called, breathless with exertion.

He almost looked like a different person, his hair lay flat against his head and had been darkened by the damp. His eyes caught the light of the moon, glowing brightly and his whole face was lit up with a smile bigger than any he had ever seen. 

Haruka found the corners of his own mouth twitching upward in response.

“So... you can swim,” He pointed out unnecessarily, “How do you feel?”

Makoto laughed a little helplessly. 

“Come in and find out,” He said, playfully, holding one huge hand out to him.

Haruka blinked owlishly. He had almost forgotten that he had made him that promise. Haruka took one more good look at him before turning on his heel and walking away from him down the sandbar.

The happiness quickly fell from Makoto's face but before he could even wonder where Haruka was going or call for him, he heard the rustle of clothing being tossed aside and then the quick patter of bare feet. 

Haruka took a running jump in nothing but his swimsuit and dove over his head, straight into the water. Makoto started laughing again and didn't stop until he surfaced after a minute.

Haruka tossed his head to the side to flick his wet fringe out of his face. 

“Well?” He asked, as though Makoto was making them late for something important.

With a wide grin, Makoto ducked back under the surface and moved up to Haruka's side. He just raised his face above the water-line to speak to him.

“Let's go!” He crowed.

Makoto took off swiftly and Haruka followed after as fast as he could. They moved away from the coast on to deeper waters, weaving in and out of each other's space as they did so. Not for the first time, Haruka desperately wished that he could breathe underwater so he could watch Makoto spin and swim under the waves for as long as he pleased. 

Even with the two minutes of air he had, however, he could see that the injury wasn't impeding Makoto at all. He twisted and twirled as though he had never been hurt at all. A surge of pride filtered through him when he saw that. Another thing he couldn't help but notice was how mightily Makoto moved in the sea. Haruka had never thought of him as graceful in any way, and even now there was a power and strength to his movements that didn't allow for anything so delicate, but there was a majesty to his actions and it cut Haruka to the quick when he thought about how beautiful he looked in that moment. 

Heartache and love warring in his chest, he surfaced to take a gulp of fresh air. He looked back the way they had come from and realised that he couldn't see land anymore. It was impossible for him to feel any fear about that however. He had always trusted the water, and with Makoto near him, he felt nigh invincible. 

Makoto himself came up for air soon after, floating on his back and gazing dreamily up at the shining moon. He turned his head to one side to look at Haruka, the softness in his eyes never fading. 

“Haru?”

“Mmm?”

“Your swimming is lovely... You're so graceful, I should have guessed... you would be as incredible in water as you are on land,” He whispered, his face turning red.

“Stop.” Haruka looked away.

“No, no, Haru please don't do that...” Makoto moved so he was treading water upright, his head and shoulder peeking out of the water, and lifted one giant finger to rest under Haruka's chin, “I mean it. And I... I have something else to tell you.”

Haruka peered up at him from under his eyelashes.

“Haru... Haruka,” Makoto began shyly, still blushing, “I want to thank you. Really thank you. When you found me, you could have just walked away so easily, or brought someone else to come deal with me- No! Let me finish!” He protested as Haruka opened his mouth to argue, “Please! You could have. You didn't have to care for me and keep me safe but you did. I would dead if it wasn't for you. And even if some other human had found me and done the same thing... I don't think... they would be as d-dear to me as you are. Thank you for saving me, Haru. And thank you for being my friend... when I needed one the most. I know I'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done but you have my completely gratitude. And my trust! And my thanks... although I think I've said that too much...”

He trailed off wiping his hand across his mouth. Haruka was shocked to see the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“Makoto...” He reached out to him on impulse.

“Sorry! Sorry! I'm fine!” Makoto tried to blink away the moisture, “Damn, I had a whole speech ready and everything...”

He sniffed loudly and without warning put his hands on Haruka's shoulders. His fingers interlaced behind his back and his palms covered his whole forearm. He pulled Haruka closer to his head and leaned forward pressing his cheek against the side of his face.

“I'm just trying to say...” He tried again, voice warbling, “Thank you, Haru, thank you so so much.”

He rubbed his cheek against him back and forth just like he had that morning back in the cave. Heat blossomed in Haruka's chest and he raised his hands up to cradled Makoto's face as best he could. They stayed like that for a long quiet moment until Makoto pulled back again, his face a bright red. He kept his hand on Haruka's shoulders. 

“Sorry...” He mumbled again, still sniffling.

Haruka shook his head to dismiss the unnecessary apology but couldn't suppress his curiosity.

“What was that?” He asked, trying not to sound eager.

Makoto only got redder.

“I'm sorry! That was too impulsive, I didn't mean-! I'm sorry if you didn't like it!” He sputtered.

“I didn't say that,” Haruka reassured him, “Actually it was nice... warm. But what was it?”

Makoto gave him a strange look as if he didn't quite believe him but answered anyway.

“It's... called cheek-rubbing... It's a show of a-affection... for family and um, very good friends...”

Haruka consider that and nodded. It made a kind of sense, although it did remind him just how different Makoto's culture was to his own. 

“Humans have something like that...” He told him, mostly to let him know that he didn't think he was weird.

“Really?” Makoto looked relieved, “What is it? Can you show me?”

Haruka stopped treading water and nearly sank before he caught himself. His eyes flickered to Makoto's lips for a split-second and he made his choice on impulse.

“Yeah... Yeah I can show you.”

Makoto was all ears. 

Trying not to panic, Haruka asked him to move in closer and lower. Makoto came right up to his face and moved down until his chin touched the water. His eye-level was still slightly above Haruka's. 

“Now what?” He whispered.

“C-Close your eyes,” Haruka said, just as quietly. 

That glorious green disappeared as Makoto obeyed him. 

Haruka placed his hands on Makoto's cheeks, licked his lips and wondered if this was the right thing to do. It wasn't a confession, but he was too weak, too hurt and so full of love for the beautiful boy in front of him, this was all he had the courage for. 

Already knowing that he would regret it, Haruka leaned in and kissed him.

With their size difference, it didn't quite work but he pressed his lips to Makoto's top one and held them there. He felt Makoto's warm breath tickle his neck, heard it hitch as he touched him. His lip was slick and salty with sea-water, blazing hot with his body's warmth. Haruka stayed in that position for what seemed like forever but could only realistically have been a few seconds. His face felt like it had combusted. Makoto's eyes were still closed but his brow was furrowed as Haruka pulled his way out of his grip.

“Open them,” He commanded hoarsely.

Makoto's eyes shot open and looked him over appraisingly.

“It's called a kiss,” He tried not to stumble over his words but he still couldn't bring himself to look at him.

“And...” Makoto spoke slowly, “That's... for friends?”

Haruka nodded stiffly, the added weight of the lie only compounding his guilt. 

Some unknown instinct made him look over at Makoto in that moment, just as his tongue flicked over the spot where his lips had been. A shudder ran through him and settled hot in his gut. Makoto opened his mouth to speak but whatever he had to say was lost forever as Haruka suddenly yawned hugely out of nowhere. He began to mumble an apology before it happened again and he turned away to cover his mouth. 

“Are you tired, Haru?” Makoto asked benignly, the smile of his face smaller than any other he had seen had night.

“No, I'm fine,” He protested vehemently.

Makoto ignored him, staring up at the sky.

“I didn't realise how late it was,” He seemed to be talking to himself, “The moon will set soon, we should head back.”

“No!” Haruka moved back up to him and gripped his arm tightly, “No, I'm fine. I don't want to.”

“You can't tread water all night, Haru,” He pointed out.

“Please.” 

Haruka shook his head desperately. It was too soon, he wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. He doubted he ever would be.

Makoto smiled down at him sympathetically, a far-away look in his eye.

“Time sure flies, huh?”

“Makoto, please!”

“C'mon, I'll give you a lift.”

Haruka was helpless to resist as Makoto turned to float on his stomach in the water and reached back to grab him and place him carefully on his lower back.

“Hold tight,” was the last thing he said before he set off, swimming faster than he had earlier while staying above the surface of the water. 

Haruka was speechless, feeling utterly useless and spent as he struggled to come to terms with the truth of what was happened. His head was completely in a whirl. All he knew for certain was that he had completely lost control of the situation.

He was so lost in thought that it wasn't until they had nearly reached land again that Haruka realised that Makoto was headed towards the inlet beside his cave instead of the sandbar. Fear and worry spiked in his system.

“Makoto!” He called, striking his hand against his back for his attention.

Makoto lifted his face out of the water, never slowing down.

“Huh?”

“Go back to the sandbar! We're too close to the town, you could be seen!”

“No-one will see me,” Makoto called back confidently, “I feel very safe with you.”

Haruka was struck silent again and stayed that way until Makoto slid up onto dry land again, right beside the now-cold fire pit. Haruka jumped off of his back and immediately fell down, his legs feeling like jelly. Makoto started to fuss but he waved him off wordlessly. 

Haruka did his best to catch his breath before turning to see Makoto in the same position he had found him in earlier that night, laying on his side. Instead of gazing at the moon however, his eyes were fixed firmly on him, clearly worried. 

It was all too much all the once, loss and love making the words spill out of him without heed. 

“What now?” He spat, “What will you do?”

Makoto raised an eyebrow at the viciousness of the question and answered him quietly.

“Rest for a few hours, then head back out again once the sun rises.”

 _And go find your family and live happily ever after,_ Haruka finished the sentence in his mind. 

That was it then. He had finally asked and had gotten his answer. He barely had the strength to raise his head to look at him. Feeling ill, Haruka wanted to be as far away from Makoto as possible.

He staggered to his feet and picked up the shoes he had left behind, noting a little too late that his shirt and trousers had been left at the sandbar. It was fine. He had more clothes.

“Haru, be careful! Are you alright?” Makoto called to him.

As if his voice was a magnet, he couldn't resist turning towards him. Makoto still looked incredibly concerned and while that was nothing new, being in the water seemed to have given him a new lease on life. His eyes seemed brighter, his body even bigger, he seemed more alive than ever before. His chest was still rising and falling rapidly in exertion at his quick swim. Despite everything, all Haruka could think of was how beautiful he was. 

He ceded to his thwarted desires one more time.

He slipped his shoes on and stepped up close to Makoto, raising his hands to hold his face. 

“You were very dear to me as well,” He said out of nowhere, “My good, good friend, thank you.”

Then he rose up on his tip-toes and kissed his top lip one last time.

He stepped away almost immediately and ran for the rock pile, climbing it as quickly as he could.

“Haru?! Haru wait!!”

He practically jumped down the other side of it and kept running. Makoto's frantic voice kept calling for him but he never looked back.

~~

 

To his great surprise, Haruka actually slept well. 

After getting home at twenty to four in the morning, he had collapsed into bed and immediately fell asleep. By some small mercy, he did not dream.

He woke up at his usual hour of seven-thirty and decided, for the first time in his life, to sleep in. It wasn't as if he had anywhere to be. After dozing for three hours he took a long, hot bath before eating a small lunch. 

He felt numb all over and knew he hadn't fully processed everything that had happened last night. He didn't particularly want to either so he shoved it to the back of his mind, aiming to keep it there for as long as possible. Not very healthy perhaps, but at that moment he couldn't bring himself to care. 

After scrubbing the dishes and pottering around the house aimlessly for twenty minutes, he decided to go for a walk. Just because the house was too hot. Just to clear his head. 

He walked slowly down to the coast. Just because it was nearby, no other reason. 

He found himself walking away from the docks to more secluded areas of the shore. Only so he could have some privacy. 

Eventually of course he got to Makoto's beach and climbed over the rock pile without even thinking about it. He should probably go get the clothes he left behind after all, and get rid of the fire pit, not to mention he needed to collect the fishing nets that he had used. Sasabe would be happy to get those back. 

These were his excuses and even in his own mind, he didn't believe them.

The inlet was empty of course. He had fully expected it to be. _He_ had said that he would leave at sunrise after all, and it was past noon by now. 

Even with all his excuses buzzing at the back of his mind, all Haruka did was lay down on the burning sand and shut his eyes. 

As soon as he did, he was overwhelmed with last night's memories. His eyes started to get hot and twin tracks of tears trickled down his face. He didn't weep, but let all the pain and confusion and love flow out of him. 

He had been right. He regret the first kiss. Oddly, he didn't regret the second one nor what he had told Makoto before he had done it. His only hope was that he hadn't been too upset when he set off this morning. Haruka supposed that leaving him the way he had had been selfish but that was no great surprise. Haruka knew he had a talent for hurting people.

He didn't know how long he lay there for but eventually his tears dried and he felt like he could breathe again even if it was weakly. 

Haruka was comfortable with staying right where he was until the sun went down, completely sapped of energy but he heard something shuffle on the sand and before he could open his eyes, a great shadow fell over him. 

He slowly cracked open his eyelids and his jaw fell open.

Makoto was leaning over him, dripping wet, his arms braced on either side if his head and a small frown on his face. The sunlight framed his head like a halo. 

“Haru?” His voice was exceedingly normal, “What's wrong?”

Haruka sat up and scrambled away from him, jumping to his feet. He stared wide-eyed.

“Makoto...” The syllables dropped out of his mouth disbelievingly, “You're here?”

Makoto laughed at his behaviour but it sounded strained and the worried look never left his eyes. He folded his arms underneath him and laid down.

“Yeah? I went to go catch lunch and I saw you? What is it?”

“You're here,” Haruka repeated, “I can't believe you're here...”

“Why?” Makoto was looking very concerned now.

“I thought...” He swallowed harshly, “I thought once you could swim again... you would leave... for good.”

A flash of despair crossed over Makoto's face before he hid it under a cautious mask.

“Do you... do you want me to leave, Haru?” He asked tonelessly.

“No! Please, no!” Haruka ran at him and fell to his knees, latching onto his arm, “Please don't leave again!”

He didn't care how desperate he sounded, he couldn't bear to watch him leave anymore.

Makoto seemed stunned for a moment but he carefully raised one on his hands and placed it over where Haruka's still clung to him. 

“Is this about last night Haru?” He asked softly.

Haruka looked him straight in the eye then and saw nothing but that incredible green and the care and comfort he had been given over the past three months. 

And he made a choice based on the same instinct that made him choose to save Makoto in the first place, all those weeks ago.

“I lied to you,” He confessed, “After I kissed you. Kisses can be for family, and for friends but they way I kissed you... It wasn't... You're my friend Makoto but to me, you're also...” It was still so hard, he was practically choking on the words, “I like you. A lot. You're so important to me.”

Makoto stared, stunned.

“But last night,” Haruka forged on regardless, “I really thought you were leaving for good and I didn't think it would be fair to tell you... that would be selfish of me. But I was selfish anyway. And I'm so sorry.” 

Haruka lowered his head to rest on Makoto's arm and braced himself for judgement.

“I... I...”

Makoto seemed stuck for words. 

“You like me? Really?”

Haruka nodded helplessly.

There was silence for a minute before Makoto lifted his hand off of Haruka's hands and instead placed it on top of his head. 

“I, um, I spent so long trying to convince myself that I didn't have a c-crush on you,” Makoto spoke softly and quickly trying to get everything out at once, “And even when I accepted it, I told myself it was unreasonable and s-selfish to expect anything to happen.”

Haruka had stopped breathing.

“Last night,” Makoto continued, “I lied too. The way, um, I cheek-rubbed you was... too i-i-intimate for friends. S-Sorry...”

Haruka sat up bolt straight and looked Makoto in the eye. He was blushed almost as furiously as him. 

“So you like me?”

“Y-Yes...”

“And I like you.”

“Yes?”

“And we've both been really stupid about this?” 

He almost sounded annoyed and Makoto burst into sudden laughter, relief and joy coursing through him.

“I guess so!”

He pulled Haruka into a hug then, happiness overwhelming him. Haruka wrapped his arms around his neck as much as he could, feeling a little put out at how foolish they both were but it was soon taken over by glee and he began to laugh too. Makoto smiled brightly and squeezed him a little tighter. 

They held each other for an immeasurable amount of time before settling down together even further, lying side by side on the sand, Haruka resting on Makoto's hand and clutching his thumb tightly to his chest. Makoto was on his side facing him and now that he was free to do so, allowed himself to gaze at him lovingly as much as he wanted.

“Haru?” He whispered some time later.

“Hmm?”

“Why did you think I was going to leave anyway?”

Haruka shrugged. Now that it was no longer a problem, he didn't see the need to think about it.

“I didn't see any reason why you would want to stay,” He explained.

Makoto looked surprised.

“Well, I can give you a few, if you want?”

Haruka raised a curious eyebrow. Makoto grinned.

“I have good shelter,” He nodded back towards the cave, “There's no competition for food,” He gestured to the bay, “And... well, the company isn't half-bad either,” He gave Haruka a wink.

Haruka smiled. 

“That's good enough, I suppose.”

Makoto smiled back at him but after a minute it faded and a thoughtful look passed over his face.

“What?”

“...I want to try something.”

Before Haruka could ask what, Makoto leaned towards him, his lips pursed and pressed them against his face. They were almost big enough to cover it entirely but Makoto only held them there for a second before retreating again. His lips had been hot and dry and he licked them nervously afterwards.

“Was _-ahem-_ was that okay?” He asked sheepishly.

In lieu of an answer, Haruka sat up and scooched closer to his face. When he was right beside him, he lay his hand on his neck, leaned down and put his cheek against Makoto's, rubbing it up and down slowly.

“Perfect,” He told him.

Makoto hands laced around his back and held him close, keeping him from moving. Haruka didn't feel like doing so for a very long time. 

He couldn't even begin to fathom the sheer amount of love and happiness he felt then. He chased away the cold horror at the thought that he had nearly lost it so easily by settling further into Makoto's embrace. The merman began to hum tunelessly and Haruka felt it resonate in his bones. 

Luck and coincidence led to this, to them, to finding each other, but it was trust and hope that kept it together and Haruka had no doubt that these were what would lead them from now on, in this brand-new experience they would share. In this bright, terrifying, joyous change. Haruka caught a glimpse of Makoto looking at him and stared right back, blue into green, green into blue, and knew right down in the very core of who he was, Makoto felt the same. 

 

\-- THE END--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, author's notes at the end this time! I didn't want to detract from the chapter itself, especially since its the longest one yet! 
> 
> I can't believe it's finally done! But here we are. 
> 
> First and foremost, thank you all so so much. None of this would have been possible without you guys. if you hadn't supported me the way you did, I would never have gotten this far. So thank you sincerely. 
> 
> _Meet Your Storm_ was my first multi-chapter fic (and my first multi-chapter anything) so its been a great learning experience overall. I'm able to go away from it having improved as a writer, I think.
> 
> However its also my first seriously thought-out au, its like my 100,000+ word baby and I have plenty more ideas for it so at some point in the future I would definitely like to come back to it. I'll definitely keep writing _Free!_ stuff in general as well. I think I have makoharu engraved on my soul at this point lol 
> 
> As always, if you have any questions or comments please contact me at red-scribbler.tumblr.com. And if you liked _Meet Your Storm_ and want to know anything else about it hmu! Believe me for every word you read so much more didn't make it into the final product! And I would love to talk about it some more.
> 
> Once again, thank you all very much and I hoped you have enjoyed reading _Meet Your Storm_!


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